Chapter 6

"I don't know why she picked this song," Kaito uttered, hiding his face behind his hand. "I don't why, oh man, why'd she pick this one? It's so, I'm so, gah!" He ran his hands through his hair and spared a glance at Gakupo, who was reading the lyrics.

He looked, horrified and disgusted by them.

Kaito tried to justify them. "I mean, I wrote them a really long time ago, it was my debut song and all, and at the time it was really popular but it's not anymore, so I have no idea why Miku would even consider this song. It's just so, so..." he trailed off as Gakupo looked at him.

"You wrote this?" he asked.

"...Yes."

Gakupo looked down at the lyrics again. "They're strong words."

Kaito blushed even harder. "Um, they're...something."

"No, I mean it. The picture is clearly presented. It's meant to be through the eyes of child, right?"

Kaito looked at him in surprise. "Um, yeah. A lot of people didn't...didn't get it."

"Normal people don't see the meaning behind lyrics like we do," he said dismissively. "Anyway..." Gakupo closed the songbook and sat forward, looking at Kaito seriously. "You wrote this lyrics because they have meaning to you, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Then they are precious to you."

"I-I guess."

Gakupo's brow furrowed slightly. "It's really none of my business, and you don't have to answer, but...were you abused by your dad?"

Kaito hesitated.

"You don't have to answer," Gakupo said quickly, moving back to relax in his seat again to show that he wasn't pushing. "It's just how well the lyrics are written, it just seems like it."

"I was, yeah," Kaito said.

Gakupo looked at him, and saw the sincerity in Kaito's eyes. He felt pity for him.

"My brother was, too," Kaito said. "But he was a lot older than me, and when he moved out he took me with him. But then he started doing it to me, too, so I went back to my dad...Until my mom came back for me, and we moved into her new house with Meiko and her father."

Gakupo lowered his gaze, looking thoughtful.

"Sorry," Kaito said. "That was too much information."

"No, it's fine," Gakupo said. "I didn't have that kind of past, so it's hard for me to understand the emotion behind these words. But I get it a little more now...How do you want me to sing this?"

"Eh?" Kaito looked at him in surprise. Gakupo had just asked him how to sing?

"I don't have the experience necessary," Gakupo said seriously. "And I have to do this right, so I need your guidance."

"Uh, right," Kaito replied. "Well, um, if I sing it, could you try to match the style I use?"

Gakupo nodded and looked at the page, ready to follow along.

Kaito cleared his throat, feeling more than a little self-conscious. He really hoped Gakupo's opinion of him didn't change. A lot people who knew about his past treaded more carefully around him, and their relationships were strained. It was part of the reason why Kaito didn't have many friends, aside from the whole famous singer thing.

He closed his eyes for a moment to remember some of the feelings he had buried years ago. When he felt the familiar tears prickling his eyes, he opened them and began in a small, quavering voice. "He opens my ribs and drinks my soup / With a personal kiss from my stomach / I don't think I have any taste, / but if it makes Papa happy..." As he sang his voice had escalated, rising with emotion. On the last syllable, it had built up to just below a scream, before bursting forth into a series of stumbling na-na-na's.

Then there was a sudden calmness to his voice, and he whispered, "Suck up my yellow fat with a straw / Stick it into my pee-pee and suck it up like that too / Fill it up with my poop and bake it / Even though my body is collapsing for Papa's sake."

He took a shuddering breath and returned to his singing voice, not noticing that Gakupo was watching him with clear concern. "I'm sorry, after all, I don't feel good. / A big brother I don't know told me, ahh / Even though my frail body is pitiful, he reaches out a kind hand

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I must be a bad kid / So forgive me, forgive me, poor little me / I'm sorry, good-bye, I'm a bad kid for running away from Papa / I'm sorry, forgive me, for falling in love with someone who's not Papa."

Kaito suddenly stopped and looked up, feeling Gakupo's stare. He swallowed hard. "Um," he said, lowering his gaze. "That's...how it goes, mostly."

Gakupo nodded slowly. His mind reeled from the emotion Kaito had been singing with. He couldn't imagine what it must have been like for him, living like that. From the way the song was written, it seemed as though at least the younger Kaito had blamed himself for the abuse.

"If you don't want to sing it, I understand," Kaito said. "I think Miku said it would be fine if she wrote a different song into a duet. I still don't know why she even picked this one."

"No," Gakupo said. "I'll sing it, if I can get it right. Give me a few minutes to figure out the voice I need, and tell me if it's wrong. If I can't get it right, we won't sing this one."

Kaito blinked, at a loss for words, but Gakupo didn't seem to have expected a reply. He started singing, imitating the way Kaito had, although the passion wasn't quite there. Gakupo worked furiously in his mind to try to understand, to think of anything that would make him feel the way Kaito did when he sang the lyrics. He couldn't quite get there, unable to imagine the situation for himself.

Then Gakupo tried again, this time imagining a little version of Kaito, scared and alone and hurt. Righteous fury suddenly burned inside him, a strong hatred for Kaito's father and brother. He pealed out the notes almost as impressively as Kaito had, and both stopped and looked at each in surprise.

"That was it," Kaito said simply.

Gakupo blinked and nodded. "And you are alright with me singing this with you?" he asked.

The corners of Kaito's mouth twitched upwards. "I'm alright with it...Thank you."

Gakupo looked at him strangely. "For what?"

"For seeing beyond the words."

"Ah." Gakupo nodded. "Like I said...Normal people just can't see the way we do."

"Yeah," Kaito said. As he went to the controls to set up the recording equipment like he always did, he couldn't keep a happy smile off of his face.

A/N: song is I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry.

Wonder if I should give Kaito a scar or two or thirty? Hm. In any case, the real romance will be starting any time now. \0/

Thanks for reading! I really appreciate it~