Someone presses a kiss to his cheek, waking him up. He shifts around, turns to look at the person sitting on the edge of the bed. She smiles at him, leans down and pecks him on the lips.
"Good morning, Levi," she breathes the words against his lips, looking into his eyes.
Levi remembers how Eren never got to say that to him the last time they met. He brings a hand up and threads his fingers through auburn hair. "Good morning."
She moves back, Levi's fingers sliding off her hair, chuckling at him. "Breakfast is ready, or would you rather take a bath first?"
Eren wouldn't have to ask that. Eren would know. "Bath first, thanks." He throws back the covers and get off the bed, kissing her on the forehead before heading to the bathroom. He immediately sets to work, getting into the shower and blasting cold water to wake himself up before turning it up into a warmer temperature.
He looks at the ring on his finger, a simple gold band with L & P engraved on the inside, hidden from the rest of the world. He grabs the bottle of shampoo and pours a generous amount on his palm, shoving his hands into his hair.
It's been five years since he left Eren.
Some of the bubbles from his hair get into his eyes, making them burn. He ignores it and lathers soap all over his body, making sure he got every part. When he's satisfied, he steps back into the streaming water and rinses off all the soap and residue. The burning in his eyes is still there, even when he's patting his body with a towel, wrapping it around his waist.
He's been married for a year.
He stares into the mirror hanging on the wall by the sink as he brushes his teeth, observing the dark bags under his eyes. Maybe he should have eaten breakfast first.
When he gets back into their room, his wife's not there. He slips off the towel and gets dressed, a white dress shirt under a grey vest, matching grey pants. He looks through his supply of neckties, trying to pick one that would look best on his attire.
Petra re-enters their bedroom and walks over to him. She looks through the drawer then pulls out a simple, striped necktie. She grins in approvals and ties it around Levi's neck, the tightness perfect against his throat.
Eren wouldn't know anything about suits or ties.
"Thank you," he tells her, holding her hand.
"Coffee?" she asks, smiling up at him. She leads him out the room and into the kitchen, the table already set with food and a steaming mug of coffee. She sits in front of him and they talk a bit while Levi sips on his coffee, taking small bites of the food. She leaves and comes back down with his coat in her arms, letting him slip his arms into it and fixing his tie one last time.
"Have fun at work," she says, dusting off imaginary lint from his shoulders.
"There's nothing fun about work," he says in a low voice, tilting her face by the chin and planting a soft, slow kiss on her lips. "See you later."
With his bag in hand, Levi leaves the house, welcoming the cold wind that constantly slaps his face as he walks to his car. He drives off without glancing back to the house, where he would surely see Petra standing by the door.
When he gets to the firm, a cheerful greeting from his secretary isn't the first thing he hears, but Hanji's voice coming from inside his office. He raises an eyebrow and Eld merely shrugs at him, as if Levi should know why the eccentric doctor is in his room.
He gets inside and not only Hanji is there, of course, but also his boss. "What the fuck are you two doing in here?'
"Levi, hi!" Hanji is still wearing her lab coat, sitting on his table with a cup in her hands. She swings her legs back and forth and Levi feels a vein pop somewhere on his forehead.
"Get off the table, Hanji," he says, voice calm. Erwin, sitting on one of the chairs in front of the desk, laughs. "Now."
Hanji sighs and gets down, placing the cup on Levi's table so she could cross her arms on her chest. "I came here to check up on you two, because you never visit me even though I'm just in the next city, practically neighbors."
"It's just been a few months since we moved here, Hanji," Erwin reasons, still smiling.
"It's been four since you finished this firm and two since Levi moved houses, but you guys never dropped by the hospital or invited me out for drinks, assholes."
"We haven't gone out for drinks, glasses." That's a lie. Levi has gone out for drinks, in the very city where Hanji lives, just a couple of days ago. "Erwin's too busy running the place and interviewing possible employees."
"And Levi's too busy helping me out, you know the drill. We're sorry we neglected you," Erwin says, smiling up at Hanji who clicks her tongue at him.
"That's why I'm here, because your majesties are too busy, so I took it upon myself to ask you guys out to go drinking! Saturday night, how does that sound?"
Levi rolls his eyes. He finally moves from his place by the door and deposits his bag on the desk. He's about to say something when his phone goes off in his pocket. He pulls his phone out and stares at the caller ID displayed on the screen. The two don't pay him much attention except for Hanji who looks at him a bit longer than he thinks she should.
He shouldn't answer it. He could ignore it and use some bullshit excuse like not having his phone on him or being in a meeting when he called. He could let it ring until the caller gets tired, or he could just shut off his phone.
It's still ringing, and he just saw Erwin give him a funny look.
"Excuse me," he finally says, phone in hand. He leaves the room and doesn't answer until he's out of the building, hoping that it would be enough time for Eren to decide to drop the call.
"Hello," he says into the receiver, stuffing a hand into his pocket.
He hears Eren let out a gush of air, as if he was relieved, and Levi almost does the same. "Took you long enough."
"I'm at work," Levi tells him, looking around the street. Cars are passing by, an old lady gave him a pleasant smile from across the street, and his nose is probably already turning red from the chilly air.
"I see… well, when do you get out?"
Levi pauses. "Around 8, why?"
"I also get out from work around that time. Let's meet up, Levi."
No, they don't have a reason to meet up. Levi should say no. He should end this, whatever this is, with Eren, right then and there. It's been five years since he left; he's been married for one, he's been dating Petra for two. No, he should say. No, Eren, I won't meet up with you later. I won't ever meet up with you again.
"Yeah, okay."
"Okay, outside the old bookstore, 5th street, you still know that one, right? The one where we found the copy of Red Thorns."
"Yeah, I got it."
"Okay. I'll be waiting, Levi."
Levi hangs up first, his hand slightly shaking. He thinks it's from the cold, so he stuffs them into his pockets, blowing out air and watching it form clouds of white from his mouth.
He hears the door open from behind him and turns to see Hanji, stopping in her steps to light up a cigarette. She continues walking and stops to stand by his side, wordlessly offers him a stick which he takes, and then she lights it up for him.
She takes her stick and holds it between thin fingers, looking up at the sky. "You know, Levi, I think love is amazing."
Levi exhales a long stream of smoke, thinking that it looks better than the cloud of white from earlier. "What are you talking about? Are you in love?"
"Moblit's okay. Maybe we're almost there, you know, almost in love." She makes a shrugging gesture with her hands, taking a drag before speaking again. "But what I mean is that love is amazing, as in it's free. It should be free. You're allowed to love anyone, because it's free."
Levi doesn't say anything. Somehow, the conversation is making him feel nervous.
"But it's also cruel, you know. 'Cause I think you can only love one person in that romantic light, so it's all or nothing, now or never. So, I think… when you fall in love, no matter what people say or what bullshit happens to your life, just go for it." As she says this, she gives Levi a meaningful look, and that's when he figures out that she knows.
"Just go for it," she repeats. "Love is cruel, love is free, love is amazing."
She sticks her arm out and a taxi stops in front of them. She drops the cigarette and crushes it with her foot, opening the door of the cab and stepping. Levi envies her, it must be warm inside. Suddenly, the windows roll down and she's leaning out, looking up at him. "See you on Saturday night. I already got Erwin to agree while you were out."
And then she smiles at him. It's not the kind of smile that she usually gives, the smile-because-she's-Hanji smile, no. It's the kind of smile that makes Levi's heart clench. It's the kind of smile that says be free, be happy, I'm here for you, because that what she told him back then, before he married Petra.
Be free, be happy. Hanji must be crazy. The cab has long since sped off, leaving Levi alone. "Love is a joke."
8 PM rolls around and Levi is walking to his car, phone in hand. He's sitting inside his car when he finally decides that he should text Petra and tell her that he might come home late.
"Going to see an old friend from Maria, I might come home late. Go to sleep and don't wait up too long." Message sent: 8:13 PM
He waits for her reply, and it doesn't take long. "Okay, have fun! Bring back something to eat, I'm up for movies tonight. I love you." Message received: 8:16 PM
"Okay. Me too." Message sent: 8:16 PM
He leaves the phone on the passenger seat and drives off to his hometown, city lights coloring the main streets. He tries not to think much, because thinking never helps when it comes to this. Thinking is useless when it comes to Eren. Everything's useless when it comes to him.
It takes him 45 minutes and a great deal of patience to arrive at their assigned meeting place, according to the time on his phone. He slips off the seatbelt and gets out of the car, and Eren's already there, waiting for him. His hair is messy, and his cheeks are flushed, probably from the cold. The teen—no, wait, that's wrong. He's not a teen anymore, is he? How long has Levi been gone? Five years. How old is Eren now? 24. He's sure of it.
The suit he's wearing is enough proof that he's an adult now, but Levi still can't believe it.
"What do you do?" is the first thing he says, not trying to hide how he's looking at Eren's attire. The suit looks good on him, after all. Did he pick it out himself? Probably, yes. He lives alone. There's no one to pick out his clothes for him.
Eren knows about suits now, and what neckties match which. He's an adult now. He's 24 years old now.
"Accounting. I'm an accountant now."
He's an accountant, he says. He does accounting. He's a professional now. He's wearing a suit, even. He's not the lanky teen that Levi used to take care of, not the teen he broke up with 5 years ago, not the teen that was on his head the day he got married, not the teen that got his heart broken by Levi.
But that's a lie, isn't it? Because, no matter how you look at him, Eren still looks broken.
"You're a lawyer, right, Levi? You did become one, right?"
"Yeah," he answers. "I am."
Eren nods. "It's cold here, let's go somewhere warmer," he tells him, already starting to walk away. Levi follows, walking a step behind him but not going too far. Eren slows down and then they're walking side by side, both in their pressed suits, and Levi thinks that they look fine.
They look really fine, he thinks. To an outsider, they look like your typical businessmen, colleagues. They definitely don't look like they were past lovers.
Maybe Levi could pretend that they were just past lovers. Maybe he could pretend that Eren was just some lover.
Eren takes him to a coffee shop not too far away from the bookstore, but Levi had parked his car there, where he shouldn't have. He would probably get a ticket for that. They sit down, order coffee, and stare at each other.
"Where do you live now? I'm surprised you got here so quickly, considering the traffic."
"I don't want to tell you," Levi says. Their orders arrive and Eren thanks the girl before turning his attention back to Levi.
"Why not?"
And then Levi realizes that Eren's doing it again, using that teasing tone with that playful smile.
"Scared I'll come visit you? Stalk you?"
Levi looks down at his coffee, raising an eyebrow at the image of a cat carefully drawn on the foam. "I am. I'm also scared that you'll come crying for food, or come by drunk."
Eren looks startled for a moment, and then he snorts. "Yeah, that does sound like something I'll do."
"Clearly don't want you terrorizing my neighborhood."
"No, we don't want that."
Levi thinks that this is okay. What they're doing is okay. Meeting up in a place like this, drinking coffee, talking like old friends, that's okay. Maybe they could be just that, friends.
"Levi, I still love you."
Somehow, that doesn't surprise the older male. He glances up at Eren, the brunet looking back at him with a soft smile on his lips, and it looks sad. He looks so sad.
"Eren, I'm married. I've been married for a year now." He takes the ring between his fingers and slips it off, handing it to brunet. He doesn't know why he does, why he isn't scared that Eren might throw it away, but he merely picks it up. He's twirls it around his fingers, observing it.
Then he suddenly reaches for Levi's hand and, instead of just giving it back, he slips it on Levi's finger again, saying, "I know."
Like what he expected, there's a ticket on his windshield which he plucks up, hiding it inside his pocket. He gets inside the car and just sits there, running a hand through his hair.
Eren knows he's married.
He starts the engine, getting on the road to head home. His dashboard tells him that it's just half past nine, meaning Petra would still be awake when he gets home.
Eren still wants to meet up with him.
The road's traffic has improved and it only takes him about twenty minutes before he's passing the sign that says WELCOME TO ROSE, ENJOY YOUR STAY. He stops by a convenience store and gets a tub of ice cream and some snacks.
Eren still loves him.
When he gets home, Petra greets him with a warm hug, kissing him as a thank you for the food. She leads him into their bedroom where she had already set the TV for movie watching. He's about to change clothes when he remembers his phone. Levi excuses himself and tells her to start the movie.
He gets his phone from his car and, before he can stop himself, sends a message to Eren.
"I live in Rose now." Message sent: 9:52 PM