SBS Time!
Guest: Ness lives in Onett, while Ninten lives in Podunk, but considering that the Smashers live in Onett if memory serves me correctly, it is understandable if you deliberately made that change.
Game2002: Yes, I deliberately changed it in order to explain why Ness doesn't live with his family in Onett.
JakeCrusher: What this story needs is one of those jerks who think video games promote violence and he uses this recent True Fans crisis to rally support!
Game2002: I think video games do have some influence in certain forms of violence.
D: Touhou was good and all, but it got rather boring rather quickly.
Game2002: I'm still going back to making stories of it, and other than SSB, it is the other series I never got bored of.
Chapter 2
The Green King
"Okay, let's summarize what we just heard," said Fox after hearing Palutena's explanation regarding how Dark Pit came to be. "A thief named Pandora stole something called the Mirror of Truth from a museum, and Pit went after her to get it back. However, during the ensuing struggle, he accidentally shattered the mirror, which resulted in the creation of Dark Pit, who is more or less the embodiment of his dark side."
"That's pretty much it," said Palutena. After arriving at Smash Mansion, Palutena and the two angels were led to the living room and seated on the sofa, where the former explained to the Smashers everything.
"I got too careless… I broke an important artifact and had to pay for it…" said Pit in embarrassment.
"But at least you caught Pandora in the end with the help of your clone, and I paid for the mirror, so it's no longer an issue now!" Palutena reminded him. "Cheer up more! It's a thing of the past already!"
"I guess so… Still can't help but feel guilty about it, though…" said Pit. "They say breaking mirrors will bring seven years of bad luck…"
"Tsk! You believe in such a ridiculous superstition like that?!" said Dark Pit. "That's an absurd belief stemming from the belief that the reflection in the mirror represents one's soul, so to shatter the mirror means to damage your soul and thus bring unfortunate luck on yourself! Seriously, who is the i- that came up with this s- belief?! A mirror simply reflects light and that's it!"
Just then, the phone rang, and Mario was going to pick it up, but Dark Pit beat him to it. After listening to what the speaker said for a second, he said, "Get your eyes fixed, you d-! Do you realize how many times you've called the wrong number trying to contact Caesar's Pizza Palace?! You're wasting your phone bill every time you use the phone, so do yourself a favor and learn how to dial the correct number! If I ever find out who you are, I'm going to gouge out your eyes and see how you call for pizza by yourself again, w-!" Then he slammed the phone back down.
Everyone stared at him with wide open eyes in silence, and then Bowser said with a smile, "I like him already!"
Palutena simply chuckled and then said, "So… I hope you don't mind if he stays here… He may be a bit ill-tempered, but he still has a good heart. Just that he prefers to act… tough…"
"Rude and cool! That's how you describe people like him!" said Pichu.
"If you say so," said the goddess.
"By the way, why the generic-sounding name Dark Pit?" asked Pichu. "Wouldn't it be cooler to try to come up with a more unique name?"
"Oh yeah? Name one," Dark Pit told him.
"Pittoo! It makes sense, since you're basically a second Pit!" suggested the Pokemon.
"No, no, no," said Yoshi. "Mewtwo is already named in a similar manner, so we should come up with something different, like Pittwice."
"Black Pit sounds good too," said Ness. "Adding 'Dark' to the beginning of evil clones is sooooooooooo clichéd…"
"I think Pittoo sounds better," said Pichu.
"I prefer Pittwice," said Yoshi.
"Pitsquare?" suggested Kirby, causing some of the Smashers to chuckle.
Dark Pit suddenly stomped the floor to grab their attention and loudly said, "Dark Pit, and THAT'S final! You will all be calling me that!"
"I think Pittoo sounds pretty cool," said Pit, earning him a death glare from Dark Pit to make him inch farther away, even though Palutena was sitting in between them.
"By da way…" Mario said to Palutena. "Wasn't your hair blonde when we first saw you? Did-a you dye it green?"
"No, my hair is naturally green," replied the goddess. "I dyed my hair blonde that time."
"Is this room all right?" Ness asked Dark Pit as he showed the latter an empty room next to his room. The angel insisted on having his own room rather than sharing it with other people.
Dark Pit walked into the room and looked around. It was a rectangular room with a window at the far end and some simple pieces of furniture. "This will do," he said. "It just needs to be cleaned and then refurbished into my liking."
"What's your preference?" Ness asked him.
"I prefer it to be a little dark," replied the angel. "Not necessarily the entire room being black. A darker shade of color will do. Purple, I guess"
"Wouldn't that make the room very depressing-looking?" asked Pit.
"That's my taste," said Dark Pit. "Dark color is for cool people."
"More like the color for evil and depressing people…" said Young Link.
"All right, you people get in there and start cleaning things up!" Dark Pit said to them as he left the room, leaving his luggage inside. "Meanwhile, I'll be using your guys' room to take a nap. Tell me when you're done, and make it fast! Oh, don't forget to get me either a PC or a laptop as well. How else am I going to stay entertained?" He went into the other kids' room and shut the door.
They stared at the door in silence for a few seconds, and then Toon Link angrily said, "What are we, his slaves?!"
"I'll be taking my leave, then!" Palutena said to some of the adult Smashers while standing outside the mansion.
"Be careful on your way back!" Mario said to her.
"Come to think of it, it's been a really long time since I've come to the surface," said Palutena. "Lately, I've been thinking of going on a trip to somewhere on the surface. Do you have any suggestions?"
"We're thinking of going on a holiday about a week from now," said Peach. "If you want to, you can come with us!"
"Sounds like a great idea!" said Palutena happily. "I'll drop by again in a week!"
"I look forward to seeing you again, Lady Palutena!" Pit said to her.
"Take good care of yourself, Pit!" Palutena said to him. "And also be patient with Dark Pit. I'm sure you'll be able to change his attitude with enough patience!"
"I will try my best!" said Pit.
After both sides were done saying good-bye to each other, a beam of light came down on top of Palutena, and then she slowly floated up it before moving at a fast speed.
"What an exit…" commented Luigi while looking up with his hand over his eyes.
About an hour after Palutena returned to Angel Land, Marth entered the living room and saw G&W happily chatting away on his cell phone.
"So when are you going to come over?" said the flat being. "Okay! I'll be anticipating your visit! All right! You go ahead and get busy now! See ya!" After ending the call, Marth asked him who he was talking to. "It's an old friend of mine! Haven't met him in years! Surprised that he still has my phone number! That's the good thing about not changing your phone number!"
"Is he someone we know?" asked Marth.
"I don't think I've told anyone about him," replied G&W. "His name's Pac-Man. He's living in Pacopolis nowadays, but he's currently vacationing in America with his family. He's thinking of coming over here after leaving that place."
The next day…
Wii Fit Studio…
It was a fitness center that opened in Onett three weeks ago, and in just a short amount of time, it had managed to attract a large amount of health awareness people, most of whom were females. It was managed by a white-skinned woman who referred to herself as Miss Fit.
Samus visited that place the day after it was established, and she had been a regular there ever since.
The bounty huntress had just finished an exercise session and was taking a break. She noticed Peach at the reception area, talking to the receptionist. "Peach! What are you doing here?" Samus asked her.
"Samus! I'm thinking of coming over to this place to work out," replied Peach. "Being cooped up in the mansion with nothing to do other than cleaning and cooking can get stale, so I decided to come and work out here."
"Then you've come to the right place!" Samus told her. 'This is one of the best fitness studios I've been to! The trainer is very good at what she does! You'll like her!"
"Miss Aran!" said a voice. Samus turned around to see Miss Fit walking over. "Who is this?"
"She's a friend of mine," replied Samus. "She's thinking of coming here to work out from now on."
"I see! Welcome to Wii Fit Studio!" said Miss Fit as she shook Peach's hand. "I am the manager of this place, Miss Fit!"
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Fit!" said Peach.
"If you are looking forward to enjoying exercise and making your body fit, you won't be disappointed with this place!" said Miss Fit. "I look forward to working out with you!"
"Me too!" said the princess.
Miss Fit then left to do something, and then Peach asked Samus, "Why does she look like she's never been exposed to sunlight all her life?"
Samus looked at the trainer and replied with a shrug. "Who knows?" Her smartphone suddenly notified her of incoming mail, so she looked at it to see that a video mail was sent to her. She also noticed that she wasn't the only person receiving a mail—everyone in the studio was receiving mails through their smartphones as well.
Curious as to what the video was, Samus opened the mail and was greeted with a red demonic face with yellow pupil-less eyes and clenched teeth.
"Greetings, everyone," said the demonic face in a monstrous voice that was most likely the result of a voice changer. The fact that the mouth didn't move at all showed that it was a mask.
Peach looked at the video and was a bit freaked out by the face. "What is this…?"
Samus wasn't the only person looking at the video, as everyone else who received the mail was looking at the exact same video.
In fact, it wasn't only the people inside the studio who received this mail—everyone outside who had smartphones received the exact same mail.
"I am the Green King," said the demonic face. "I am someone who has suffered under the hands of corrupted businessmen and greedy corporations. It would seem that these people will continue to keep up their corrupted ways unless someone teaches them a lesson, so I have decided that I will be the one to do this!"
The face then moved away to show a neatly trimmed man in a business suit with his arms strapped in between a pair of metal poles by his hands using chains. "You are now looking at Tellos Vijion, the chairman of Mega Satellite Incorporated."
Because the person looked beaten up and frightened, the viewers were shocked. "What… What is this…?!" asked Peach.
"As people who subscribed to his television service can testify, the price is way too high for such a short subscription length and the number of channels. $160 for a one month subscription consisting of only ten channels? That's daylight robbery! Complaints have been made, but he never listens to his customers and actually increased the price over time! A greedy pig like him must be taught a lesson! Now tell us, Mr. Vijion: do you admit to have committed this crime?"
Scared and with a face full of tears, the chairman said, "Yes… Yes… I overcharged people for such a short subscription length and number of channels… I should've listened to people and made the deal cheaper… I'm wrong… Please forgive me…"
"You have done well in admitting your crime!" said the voice of the Green King. "However, an example has to be set in order to prevent something like this from happening in the future! I must purge this world of greedy people like you! You shall now pay the price for robbing people's hard-earned money! In the name of justice, I will now execute you!"
"NO! PLEASE! NO!" screamed the chairman, and then he got shot to death by a gun off-screen, a sight that horrified viewers.
After the chairman was dead, the demonic face returned to the screen and said, "An evildoer has been executed today, and the world rejoices because of this! I will continue to be a hero and hunt down all you evildoers who cheated us money! I, the Green King, shall continue to fight until there is fairness in this world!"
After that, the video ended, and people immediately discussed with each other about what they saw.
"Oh my… Let's hope that was all a hoax and nothing else…" commented Miss Fit nervously.
"Was… Was that real…?" asked Peach, trembling in fear at what she saw. Samus said nothing and simply stared at her smartphone with an angry expression.
"That was pretty messed up…" said Captain Falcon. Pretty much all the other Smashers saw the video as well, and most of them were at the mansion, talking about it together in the living room. "Who with a right mind would think killing someone is the best way to change a company's way of doing things?"
"It might work, since it'll scare the rest of the employees in Mega Satellite enough to make them lower the price, but yeah, it's definitely not the right way nor is it the best way to do things," said Marth.
"He said he's going after more businessmen he believes is corrupted. Isn't there something we can do to stop him before he kills more people?" asked Fox.
"I have attempted to track the video back to its source," said R.O.B. "The source is protected by a powerful firewall, so I was unable to pinpoint it immediately, but in the very least, I have succeeded in finding out the general location it is coming from."
All eyes turned to R.O.B. when he said this, and Fox said, "That's a good start! So where is he?"
No sooner after this, most of the Smashers headed over to the underground lab, and R.O.B. went up to the main computer and brought up a screenshot of the Green King from the video while showing a map of a city. "I have managed to track the source to Fourside," said the robot. "As of now, there is no way I can pinpoint the exact location until he broadcasts another video. Speaking of which, the video is broadcasted live and throughout the four major cities of Eagleland."
"That would be Onett, Twoson, Threed, and Fourside," said Captain Falcon.
"He basically let the whole country know about what he did…" said Fox.
"Obsessed with attention, isn't he?" asked Falco.
"So you can't figure out where he is until he broadcasts another video?" asked Captain Falcon.
"Exactly," said R.O.B.
"Well, at least we know he's in Fourside, so I'll head over to Fourside and wait for a broadcast to come, and when it does, you track him down and tell me where he is, and then I will go stop him before he kills his next victim," suggested Captain Falcon.
"That is the very plan I have in mind," said the robot.
"Sounds like a good plan!" commented Fox. "All right, R.O.B. and I will work together to track down that person when he broadcasts again, and then you, Falcon, will track him down in Fourside before it's too late."
"Leave that to me!" said the F-Zero racer while punching his palm.
"You think it's possible to figure out who he'll go after next?" asked Link.
"Hard to say, since there are several companies that 'steal from people's wallets' after all," said Fox. "However, if I have to guess, I would say he takes his targets from Fourside so he doesn't have to travel too far to capture people and take them to his hideout."
"Good point," said Captain Falcon.
"If that is the case, I will look through profiles on various well known businessmen living in Fourside and see if they have histories of being criticized," said R.O.B. "That way, we may be able to figure out who he will go after next."
That night, Ness was chatting away with Popo on Skype regarding what happened.
ICPopo: Yeah, saw what happened on the news
PSINess: Some people are saying that he must have been inspired by that guy who invaded Compac's American HQ to do something like this
ICPopo: I wouldn't be surprised… By the way, I just remembered something… Wasn't there a guy on Gamfax named Green King?
PSINess: You mean before that site got shut down?
ICPopo: Yeah
PSINess: Now that you mentioned it… Yeah… Remember seeing someone named like that on other forums as well…
ICPopo: You think it's the same guy who murdered the chairman of Mega Satellite?
PSINess: I'm starting to think so… I remember him being a very vocal and angry guy who likes to complain
ICPopo: Looks like he can no longer hold his anger…
PSINess: Tell me about it…
The next day, Captain Falcon did as he had planned. He was currently at Fourside, waiting for the Green King to capture another victim and broadcast himself through smartphones so that Fox and R.O.B. could track him down.
The racer ate a hotdog while waiting next to his F-Zero machine, which was parked next to the sidewalk. At the same time, Fox and R.O.B. were in the underground lab, setting things up to get ready to track him down.
"Is everything ready?" Fox asked the robot.
"It is ready," relied R.O.B.
"You know, working with you reminds me of working with a robot partner of mine back when I was a mercenary," said Fox. "His name is R.O.B. 64."
"Yes, you told me about him before," said R.O.B.
"I wonder how the rest of the team is doing in Corneria now," wondered the fox. Suddenly, their computer notified them of an incoming mail, and when they opened it, it was the video they expected.
At the same time, Captain Falcon and everyone in the four major cities of Eagleland who had smartphones received the same mail. "All right! Time to bring you down!" said Captain Falcon as he played the video.
"I, the Green King, have returned with another evildoer," said the self-proclaimed hero. He then moved out of the way to show a fat man with little hair on his head. "He is the chairman of Super-Deli Pasta, Fallty Fude. As you know, there have been reports of his pastas containing chemicals that are potentially harmful to the body, but despite scientific evidences and complaints, he continued to manufacture his pastas using the same chemicals.
"There are reports of people going to the hospital after eating his pastas, but this man continues to keep up his acts of evil, thinking that as long as the chemicals make his pastas delicious and that people will buy them, it's all right! He says that it's the minority that is suffering from this chemical poisoning, so it's not a big deal! What kind of a monster would allow something like this?!"
While watching the video, Captain Falcon contacted Fox and R.O.B. using a wireless communicator located near his right ear. "Are you tracking him down?"
"Yes," replied R.O.B. "I have managed to locate him inside an old apartment located on 23rd Avenue, which is north of where you currently are."
"Yes, I can see an old building there!" said Captain Falcon as he began running towards the location. "Which floor is he in?"
"I am unable to find out," replied the robot.
"Then I'll have to move fast!" said the racer. Thanks to his fast running speed, he was able to get to the apartment in a short amount of time. The apartment was an abandoned one, which made it a suitable hiding place for doing what the Green King was doing.
Captain Falcon figured that the Green King was probably carrying out his killing on a higher floor, as that would make him harder to be found, so he didn't start looking into each of the rooms until he was on the fifth floor. He opened each of the doors and took a second to see if there was someone inside before searching in another room, and if there were doors that wouldn't open, he would kick them down.
He searched his way to the seventh floor, the last floor, but was still unable to find the Green King. "I can't find him in the apartment!" Captain Falcon loudly said into his wireless communicator.
After hearing this, Fox and R.O.B. noticed something surprising on the map. "Falcon! His location changed! It's about three kilometers away from where you are!" Fox told him.
"What?! But you told me he was here!" said Falcon. "Anyway, I'll go there now!" The racer wasted no time in running to the balcony and looked around for the northeastern direction. Having been accustomed to Fourside, he was able to tell what direction that was, and then he jumped from balcony to balcony and even onto the balcony of another building.
With extreme parkour actions and fast running speed, Captain Falcon was able to make it three kilometers away from the building he was originally in and to the area Fox claimed the Green King was at in no time, only to find himself looking at a normal-looking park with nobody suspicious at all. "Are you sure this is the place?!" he shouted into the communicator.
Fox and R.O.B. looked at the map and could not believe their eyes. "You won't believe it…" said the former. "He's… northwest of where you are currently… and five kilometers away at that…"
The two then turned to the footage that showed Fallty Fude, and the Green King's voice could be heard saying, "Your time is up! In the name of justice, I shall now execute you for the atrocities you have done to mankind by selling food containing too much unhealthy materials!"
Fox and R.O.B. watched in horror as a couple of gunshots were heard. They continued staring at the screen for several seconds, and then the robot said to Captain Falcon, "Falcon, I am very sorry to tell you that Fallty Fude is killed."
TO BE CONTINUED
I got the idea to call the Wii Fit Trainer Miss Fit from someone on GameFaqs.
I own the Green King.
Trivia:
1. I said this in Touhou: Journey to the Smashing Beyond already, but I'm saying it again: Nowhere in the Bible does it says angels have wings. The earliest art portrayals of angels did not show them with wings, and the earliest known portrayal of them with wings is in the "Prince's Sarcophagus," discovered in the 1930s.
2. Cherubim and Seraphim, however, have wings—four and six of them respectively.