Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
When Alice and Bella arrived at the Cullen household they parted ways, Rosalie made a beeline towards Alice, but the smaller woman, with the promises of talking to her about it tomorrow, just went to her childhood room. She was exhausted, from learning about Bella, from meeting Charlie, from her grandmother's funeral, being back in Forks; it was just, a lot to take in.
She lay on her bed and closed her eyes, thinking about the events that had conspired throughout the day and what it meant. Regardless of how tired she was or how much back and forth their relationship had endured, Alice was still very much glad that she had made friends with Bella, that she had kept on trying with her. She could see the big and small differences in her neighbour when compared to the first time she had met her and it made her happy that some part of that was because of her.
Alice looked at her phone and noticed the several missed calls from her girlfriend; she sighed, and leaned against the headboard of her bed. Tanya was great, she was attentive, supportive and just a pleasant person to be around but that was it, there was just, no pizazz. Alice wasn't that naïve to believe that love meant grande gestures of love proclamations and dramatic displays of devotion, but, whereas she did like Tanya there was that spark that was missing. Tanya didn't really understand Alice's quirks and gestures, like, the time Alice had baked muffins, her girlfriend refused to eat them because she was on a diet, she didn't even try them. Ok, so, maybe that was a bad example, but the bottom line was Tanya just didn't know how play along with her eccentric behaviour.
Alice looked around her room and her eyes laid upon the figurine of the dancer on her vanity, which prompted her to a memory that occurred a few weeks back. One day Tanya and herself had stopped to watch a street performer and Bella had chanced upon there just watching as well.
\After the act, Bella had given the performer payment which Tanya had just looked at her incredulously. When asked why she had given him so much, the brunette had just shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and simply replied, "If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe them a buck." She then went on her way as if nothing had happened, it was something so small to Bella, but it had warmed Alice's heart to know that genuinely kind people like Bella still existed.
Alice smiled and lay in bed, deciding to call her girlfriend tomorrow, before she closed her eyes, her last thought was that she was glad that Bella Swan was someone special to her.
Meanwhile~
Bella was outside on the porch sitting on a recliner chair, lost in her own thoughts when she heard a door open and close.
"So, who's this chick with Pixie Sticks?" She heard Emmett question, as he took a seat next to her.
"Who?" Bella asked confused, until it dawned on her who was referring to, "Oh Alice, Pixie Sticks? I have to remember that one," she replied. She regarded the man for a moment, she didn't mind his company, but her instincts cautioned her that he was up to something mischievous. After all, the man could have asked Rose or Leah about Alice's dating habits, seeing as they lived with the small woman.
"You know that your sister's dating?" She asked instead.
Emmett shrugged his shoulders, "I just guessed, she was always one to follow her head rather than her heart when it comes to love."
Bella frowned not really wanting to engage in this conversation, however, she understood that the huge man just wanted to protect his little sister, regardless of how far away they lived from each other. She gave a half shrug and decided to finally answer the question. "I don't know, someone named Tanya, I haven't really met the woman, I'm just the random neighbour, who has randomly come to this random town," Bella said dryly.
"That's random," Emmett commented, equally as dry.
"Indeed," Bella replied and then they shared a chuckle.
They sat in companionable silence for a few moments; Emmett's comment had made Bella think about the small woman. She agreed that Alice did tend to go head first into situations with the intent of love in her heart, but whether or not that was the best thing was a different story. Bella recognised how fortunate she, herself was to have found love and, even if it hadn't lasted as long as she would have liked, it was something that no one could take away or that she could forget. Irrespective, Bella knew that her neighbour would find someone, Alice was just too lovely, too kind, caring and just loving to not have someone share her life with. And, for a split second in the back of the brunettes mind, she questioned, What would happen to me? The instant her mind had asked the question a wave of guilt welled inside of her for being so selfish, so, she did her best to supress that line of thinking.
"I like you," Emmett suddenly announced out of the blue.
Bella quirked an eyebrow, "Thanks, but you have a wife and I'm pretty sure that I was gay," she replied, causing the man to shake his head animatedly.
"Dude no, not like that, it's just that, you're good for Squirt, I can sense it."
The brunette just looked at him sceptically, "Really now? Can you read my palm next and tell me my lucky numbers?"
"Is your default always on sarcasm?" Emmett asked, Bella raised an eyebrow at him as if to say, what do you think? And he rolled his eyes at her "Right."
Bella chuckled then took a drink from the cup she had been cradling as a momentary distraction to the somewhat awkward atmosphere.
"Why aren't you dating my sister?" Emmett probed curiously, almost making Bella choke on her drink.
"Excuse me?" Bella sputtered.
Emmett almost laughed out loud at the woman's reaction, "You heard me, why aren't you the one with her right now in bed?"
The brunette just sized the large man incredulously, "Is that really a question a brother should be asking in regards to his little sister?"
"We're adopted," he answered with a shrug of the shoulders.
"It's creepy."
"And you're deflecting," he said folding his arms.
"Alice and I are friends," Bella retorted, faintly noticing how much she had been saying that to people, the large man just gave her a look of disbelief.
"Don't give me that look, we live across the road from each other and we're friends, no more, no less," she defended, hoping that the man would just let it drop.
Emmett rubbed his chin, "I don't know about you Bella, but I don't look at my friends the way you and Alice look at each other."
Bella scrunched up her face, what was it with everyone assuming things? "How do we look at each other? If anything, I'm probably just giving her the stink eye for some silly comment she made."
"Methinks the lady doth protest too much-eth," he said to no one in particular.
Bella scowled at him, "Look, you can believe whatever you want, but I know what's the truth and if you don't believe me then fine."
At this, the large man nodded his head in agreement, "You're right Bella Bear, I can believe whatever I want and what I believe is that, at the moment is there is a woman right in front of me with so much metaphorical baggage on her that you can actually see her shoulders past their breaking point. I can see a woman who tries so damn hard to put up the façade that she doesn't give a shit, when really; she's probably the most caring person in the entire world of history. And I also see a woman who's too scared to admit that she likes my little sister, so scared in fact that even she's starting to believe her fake denial. I know who you are Bella and what you've been through, you're not a terrible person, you never have been and you never will be.'
Emmett, being the eldest of the Cullen boys was also the most protective, not that anyone would have guessed seeing as his friendly attitude was always prominent. To him, Alice was always going to be that fragile little girl that he met so long ago. He regarded the woman sitting next to him who was currently gaping at him and smiled, knowing that the he could trust his youngest sister with her. From first meeting Bella, he had felt an instant affection towards her, he knew that Alice had felt something for her, otherwise, his youngest sister wouldn't have brought her home as she had never done that before, always citing fear of vilification or some other excuse.
However, it was more than that; the burly man had observed Alice and Bella's interactions with rapt fascination, noticing that they always gravitated towards each other. He knew that his sister was an overtly affectionate person but it was the unconscious little touches towards Bella that interested him, such as the holding hands or the lingering touch when Alice gave Bella coffee in the morning. It's like; their bodies were just naturally reacting to each other presence and to him, it looked a lot like flirting, even if the women didn't know it. He would have to be an idiot to not see how deep Bella and Alice's connection was, even if the two were too blind to recognise it themselves. He loved his sister and he had always just wanted her to be happy.
"What the actual fuck?" Bella said, surprised by the man's observations.
Emmett just put up his hands, "Hey man, give me some credit I've been a psychiatrist for a few years now and I've had a knack at reading people since I was a kid, you're like an open book. Alice is just shitty at reading you, which is strange considering she's usually the first to pick up on things. I think that you throw her off, which is an amazing feat in and of itself, she was always so high and mighty that she could predict things."
"I throw her off?" Bella asked a little shocked.
The large man just nodded, "Yep," he said popping the P for effect, when he noticed that the brunette wasn't going to say anything more he continued, "Think about what I said Bella and stop denying the thing going on between you and my sister, it's as obvious as the nose on your face. I know that you've been waiting for a sign Bella, and this is it, it's time to stop pretending. Just don't hurt her," he said, echoing Rose's earlier request months ago.
Bella frowned, "I still think that you're wrong."
In response, Emmett just smirked, "Yeah? When was the last time you had a cigarette?"
The brunette thought about the man's question for a moment, and suddenly realized that she hadn't had a cigarette in a few days, her last had probably been in San Francisco, she looked at him again, "How did you..."
"Your fingers are stained a faint yellow, as are your teeth, your clothes reek of it, however, I have yet to see you actually smoke or excuse yourself for one."
"But what does..." before she could finish her sentence, Emmett cut in.
"Alice hates cigarettes," he answered, effectively ending the conversation.
Bella stared at him and in response he chuckled, knowing that he just made Bella confront or at least become aware of something within herself. He took one last glance into the night, silently congratulating himself on a job well done, he stood up, brushed the dirt from his jeans and headed towards the door, "And Bella? That session was for free, but if you want a real talk, I'll give you my card," he said cheekily before heading back inside.
Bella just continued staring with her mouth slightly agape.
Later~
Bella's mind was relatively blank, after the fiasco with Emmett, she decided to head to bed and just not think about their conversation. But, like always, Bella had found that the little pixie had somehow embedded herself in her thoughts; she was the first person to really get under her skin since her wife's passing and that troubled Bella. She didn't regret showing Alice her wife's tomb stone or meeting her father, she just hoped that Alice wouldn't give her sympathy. Bella decided to entertain the thought pertaining to the nature of her relationship with Alice, did she like her? She couldn't really say, her wife was the one for her, her wife was someone that Bella loved dearly with all her heart, the woman who had understood her in all her and accepted her with all her imperfections. But, that was the past, Alice was someone in her life now that she cared deeply for, she knew that. But what did that actually mean? Bella felt the guilt return again, if she were being completely honest, she felt as if she didn't have the privilege to be interested in another person.
There was a creak from the stairs and, as soon as Bella smelt the perfume she instantly knew who it was.
"You shouldn't be down here," Bella commented to the form that had suddenly materialized and was now looking down upon her.
"Are you ok?" Alice asked.
Bella sighed and closed her eyes, "No…" She opened her eyes again and Alice was still standing there with that same openness that she had grown fond of and it was at that moment where Bella knew that her neighbour would always still be there in front of her. Looking at her with the intensity that could only be described as Alice fucking Cullen.
"…but I will be," she finished and that was the honest truth.
Alice regarded Bella's form, to anyone else, her neighbour would look like she was relaxing, with her arms clasped behind her head, staring at the ceiling. But Alice knew better and rolled her eyes, she lifted up the covers and made an attempt to get underneath the covers on the couch.
"Move over," Alice ordered when she realised Bella wasn't budging.
Bella gave a grunt, but moved aside and faced the outside, which currently left her sandwiched between her neighbour and the back of the couch. "Alice, you shouldn't be down here, I'm not going to explain to your family, why you're on the couch, snuggling me." She wanted to add in the fact that some of Alice's family were already suspicious of their relationship, but decided against it.
Alice faced Bella's front, she wrapped her arm around the middle of her neighbour whilst her other arm lay limply in between them, it was like a semi-awkward hug but it still caused Bella to inexplicably shiver.
"You let me handle them," was the muffled reply.
Bella did not want to say anything about the fact that Alice's head was buried in her cleavage, she didn't even want to think about it, so she just gave an indignant, "Fine."
A few minutes went by, each women breathing in the others scent and neither letting go, it was a little strange, but more comforting than anything else.
"Alice?" Bella whispered after a moment, when she felt the smaller woman's head incline, she continued, "Why don't you like cigarettes? You say that they're a bad habit, which I suppose I can agree with, but no one I've met has been as adverse about it as you," she asked, remnants of her conversation with Emmett still in her mind.
Alice furrowed her brow and started to pick the back of Bella's jumper, "My parents died when I was seven because my dad forgot to put out his cigarette," she answered in a small voice. Bella felt her heart break at the tone Alice had used, she sounded like a small child, she automatically began to rub the smaller woman's back; she didn't even think that it was possible for something like that to occur anymore.
Alice appreciated her neighbours gesture, "It's ok, I don't really remember them and, I just can't think what my life would be like if I did have them, it sucks, but, I love the family that I have now, with everything I have," she finished, keeping her voice strong.
Bella nodded her head and thought that the small woman in her arms was a very strong woman indeed, for what she lacked in physical size, she made up with the size of her heart.
"Will you tell me about her?"
Bella looked down at Alice and noticed the familiar curious gaze in her eyes, the one that her wife had always possessed, surprisingly, the look didn't disarm her, "Yes," Bella responded.
And she did, Bella told Alice everything about her deceased wife.
Of the day when Bella first met Ashley in college, how they had such a heated argument in a Religion class, that the lecturer had to remove them both and that the tension never dissipated between them after that.
She told Alice about the day when she saw Ashley crying in the street after breaking up with her girlfriend and how they had both laughed when they realised that they were both gay and undertaking a Religion class.
She told Alice about the time Bella took Ashley out on a date and how after their first kiss, Bella just knew that she was the one.
She told Alice about the time when Ashley found out that she had a tumour; she didn't tell Bella for a really long time, so the brunette had thought that she was cheating on her, but a yellow manila folder had changed everything.
She told Alice that they married, not because Ashley was sick, but because they were in love and it was inevitably what they both wanted.
And she told Alice that when Ashley had died, that was the saddest moment in Bella's life, how, she wished she had just one last kiss with her to tell her good-bye, to tell her she loved her and would think of her every day of her life.
And Alice had listened, through it all and even though she couldn't empathize, she just listened patiently and that was all Bella needed.
"Sometimes I just feel so lifeless and I miss her so much, it feels as if I'm the one that's dead, you know?. And then, other times I catch myself for being so angry at her for leaving me and I feel so ashamed to admit it, I hate that I blame her," Bella finally confessed.
Alice rubbed soothing circles on Bella's back, "Being alive isn't synonymous to living Bella; surely you realize this by now. So much has been taken from you and it's o.k to isolate yourself sometimes, because it is how you bring yourself out of those dark places that determines who you are. Don't ever be ashamed or apologetic for the way you feel you're being honest; it's what makes you know that you're still human. Bella, it is this heart that you have right now that I have grown to love. Can you honestly say that this is what Ashley would have wanted for you?" she articulated honestly.
Bella felt her heart constrict, she knew Alice was right by all accounts, however, instead of commenting, she cleared her hoarse throat, "Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change," she replied, remembering a quote that she had once heard.
The smaller woman just smiled at her neighbours attempt to back off and shut down, "You know, she also said that Life, although it may be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me and I will defend it. You are in my life Bella because I need you to be and you are so very dear to me," Alice retorted.
Bella sighed but finally understood that there was nothing that would ever take the pain of losing Ashley away, but she knew that with time she could live with it.
After a long glance at Alice, Bella hugged her tightly, grateful for having the smaller woman in her life, "I…Alice I…" she began, just now noticing that Alice had admitted to loving her again.
"Thank-you," Bella settled with, that was the closest she was going to come to saying those words for the time being, but that meant something deep to Alice.
The smaller woman just grinned at her nieghbour and nestled in for the night, there wasn't anything more that was needed to be said and that was fine for both women.
When Alice had finally fallen asleep, Bella had a few thoughts, she knew that no one would ever be able to replace Ashley and secondly, she thought of the little pixie in her arms. This woman, whoever she would turn out to be in Bella's life, it would be someone special. And Bella decided right then and there that she would make more of an effort to live, because that's what Ashley would have wanted.
Bella looked at the sleeping form of her nieghbour and couldn't help the warmth that spread throughout her; it was like feeling the glow of a light bulb after surging for so long.
Someone special indeed.
Author's Note:
When I first began this story, I wanted to end it here and just leave it open. I know where I would want Alice and Bella's relationship to go if I continued, but I can also leave it here and be content with that.