I went back to Nicklaus's house. I was full of rage. I just wanted to rip his heart out like he did mine. He took everything from me. He took everything from Kol because of me. Why would he do that? I'm not important enough to be fought over. I am nobody, and when I'm finished with Klaus I truly will be nobody ever again. This was the one good thing that could come out of my miserable life. I was trembling with fear. It wasn't that I was afraid of him it was just that I was afraid that I wouldn't go through with it. Could I become a monster to exact my revenge?

I walked through the door and he was waiting on me. He just stood there. The look in his eyes seemed like he didn't know what to expect. He must have understood that I would have mixed emotions about this. I hated him even more for understanding me. His expression confused me for a split second, but when I gained my composure I said," You killed Kol because you thought that you could have me." He didn't deny it. Actually, he wouldn't say anything. I wanted him to admit what he did. I needed to hear him say it, but he even refused my last dying wish. I would not wait forever for an explanation. So, I attacked him. I had a stake hidden in my jacket I plunged it into his heart. I knew it wouldn't work, but I hoped it would at least hurt him. I was going to make him feel as much pain as possible. He blocked the rest of my strikes. He wouldn't fight back. He would only defend, and this enraged me more. While fighting him I knew that I could not kill him, but now that's not what I wanted anymore. I wanted to make him angry enough to give me the sweet release of death. Then Klaus came behind me and grabbed me. We both fell to the ground. I tried to escape his grip, but I couldn't. He wasn't trying to hurt me but trying to subdue me.

I screamed and cried," Kill me! Just get it over with! Please…end it!"

Then Klaus replied, "Sorry, love, I can't do that."

He finally loosened his grip. We just sat there for a few minutes in complete silence. The only thing left I had in this world was death, and he stole that from me to. I couldn't take the fact that I failed Kol again. I wanted to die. I couldn't stay here any longer. I super sped out of there. I ended up at a dock looking over the water. The water seemed to calm me. Then I heard someone behind me. At first I thought that it was Nicklaus, but then I heard Elijah's voice. He stood beside me and said, "My brother has a way of screwing up the ones he loves."

I sniffled," He is the reason Kol is dead. He daggered him because of me."

"Yes, he did dagger my brother for you, but not for the reasons that you think."

I was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Nicklaus didn't want to tell you this because he didn't want you to think badly of Kol. You, I am sad to say, was not his only lover at the time. Nicklaus, asked him what his intentions with you were. Now Kol knew that my brother had feelings for you, so Kol told him that he was going to use you and then discard you. I do believe that Kol had feelings for you, but like the rest of us he was never able to properly express it. Kol was never the most reliable person to fall in love with. Neither is Nicklaus, but he has pined over you for centuries."

I almost couldn't process any of this. How it is that Kol could do this to me? Everything I felt for him…I mean how could he do this to me? How is Klaus the good brother in this scenario? How much more could my life be screwed up? Then I put my feelings for Kol aside and took a real look at Nicklaus. He was a cruel man that was capable of such love and compassion. I have seen this love and compassion first hand. Did I bring that out in him? Could I forget about Kol? I mean he was going to discard me anyway, so why couldn't I do the same to him?

Then Elijah asked," What are you going to do with this new information?"

In that moment it felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders.

I replied," I don't know. For the first time in my life I can do what I want. I don't have to wait for Kol. I don't even have to stay here with Nicklaus. I can do anything."

"What is it that you want?"

I laughed," That's what I'm going to figure out."

I walked away. I had to see Klaus. I wasn't sure what I was going to say or do, but I hoped it would come to me. Everything was changing, but it wasn't all bad. I know tomorrow I'll think about all this more rationally and I might be depressed over Kol again, but for tonight I feel free. I finally made it back to the house. Klaus was waiting for me. Now I could see the longing in his expression. Before all I could see was malice, but now with this new found clarity I see the tortured soul under the surface. I walked up to him and kissed him softly. It was quick, but I felt that it said everything that I still didn't have the courage to. All I added was, "Thank you."

He said, "Elijah told you."

I nodded and then I went to bed. I don't know what will happen between me and Klaus in the future, but now I know that Kol will have nothing to do with it. I choose. I may leave New Orleans tomorrow or I might stay, but either way it's my choice.