A/N: Hey look! It's my fuck up! Only...older. Has she matured? Has motherhood turned her into a respectable lady? What is Kandi like in her mid-thirties?

Kandi: Pretty much the same bitch I've always been.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the above bitch, her son Zack, and the sweet little baby Rhea...who is based on my third spawn. That's right! AT got BUSY while on hiatus!

Kandi looked up as her front door beeped, indicating someone had scanned their eyes and were about to enter her dwelling. She grinned when she saw Andria walk in followed by a Sephiroth clone with cranberry eyes.

"'Morning, guys," she said as she added more eggs to the mixture she was stirring. "Want breakfast?"

"Yeah, thanks," Azrael answered following his girlfriend into the kitchen. He found the coffee mug that was designated as his and filled it with fresh coffee. He leaned over and kissed Kandi's cheek. "You're the best."

Kandi laughed and pinched his nose. "I know," she said. "Call your mother. If I know Ak, she'll be wondering if you're still alive."

Azrael rolled his eyes but took his phone out anyway. "Yeah, yeah, I know," he said, dialing his mother's number. He waited until she answered. "Hey, Mom. I'm over at Andi's. Yeah, we had fun. The usual place. Yeah, I'll be home in a few hours. Love you, too. Bye."

"Where is everyone?" Andi asked, grabbing her mom's favorite coffee creamer out of the fridge.

"Rude's in the shower…don't use all of my creamer!" Kandi exclaimed. Andria stuck her tongue out at her and poured a healthy amount into her coffee. "Little bitch. Anyway, Zack's still sleeping and Rhea is right there in her swing, taking her second nap of the morning."

"I'll go wake up Zack," Azrael said, bending down to kiss Andria and heading toward the little man's room. "Don't be alarmed if you hear yelling."

"I never am, Az," Kandi said, snatching her creamer back from Andi. "Mine."

"Don't Bogart the good stuff, Mom!" Andria exclaimed.

"Bite me. This shit is mine," she told her. "You're still okay to babysit tonight, right?"

"Only if you share the creamer, you pig," Andria grumbled. She smirked when her mom tossed the container back to her. "We're good then. Az offered to help since I'll be keeping Rhea alone for the first time. I figure he can keep Zack company while I watch her."

"Good idea," Kandi commented as she began scrambling the eggs. "I don't know how she's going to do being away from me for that long."

"Yeah, she's been attached to your tit for the last two months," Andria grinned. "You got enough milk pumped for her?"

Kandi moved to the fridge and grabbed the bacon. "Yeah, I got about fifty ounces. If that isn't good enough for the little glutton for one damn night, too bad."

Andria laughed as she drank her coffee. "We got biscuits?" she asked, setting her coffee down and going to the fridge. She found a can and went to the oven. "What time are you guys going to be home?"

The red-streaked Turk smirked at her. "Let's just say, you'll be cooking us breakfast in the morning," she said, bumping her hip against her daughter's.

"You are such a slut," Andria giggled. "First date in nearly a year and you're going to put out?"

"Fuck yeah," she exclaimed. Kandi's brown eyes locked with Andria's violet. "Speaking of which…"

Andria shook her head. "No, we didn't."

Kandi nodded and smiled. "He's not pressuring you or anything, right? 'Cause I don't care if he is one of my best friend's son and Sephiroth's spawn…I'll gut the little bastard if he does."

Andi laughed. "No, he's great," she said quietly. "I know he wants to…and I do to. I'm just not quite there yet."

"Well," Kandi said, adding some shredded cheese to the scrambled eggs. "Don't do anything you're not ready for. I was older than you, but I wasn't ready. Of course, I was paid…"

Andria hugged her mother and grinned. "Different set of circumstances," she told her. "I'm lucky enough to have a mom who loves me."

"Damn right, kiddo," she said, dropping a kiss to her forehead. The touching mother/daughter moment was shattered by a very high-pitched yet masculine shriek.

"AZRAEL, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

The silverette came running back into the kitchen, laughing like a chocobo high on marijuana greens, followed by a shaving cream covered Mini-Rude.

"Zack, we do not kill your sister's boyfriend," Kandi told him with a grin.

"But MOOOOM!" Zack complained, wiping the shaving cream off his face. "He got me again!"

"Well, if you would get up at a decent time, you wouldn't fall for the oldest trick in the book," Azrael laughed at him.

Zack threw the shaving cream at him. "You're an asshole," he grumbled.

Kandi gasped. "Zackary, where did you hear such language?" she said fanning herself dramatically. "Oh right…Your father."

"What'd I do?" Rude asked, coming out of their bedroom bare-chested. He nodded toward the silver-haired boy. "Hey Az."

"Hey."

"You're teaching our son to swear," Kandi said with a wink. "Is the baby's first word going to be 'asshole'?"

"Doubt it," he replied with a grin. "She spends more time with you, so it'll probably be 'fuck'."

"Oh, fuck you," Kandi laughed as she turned back to dish up the food. "Come get a plate, guys."

Andria took the biscuits out of the oven and placed one on each plate her mom was fixing. Kandi, Rude, and Zack sat at the kitchen table with Rhea in her swing, the six-year-old glaring daggers at Azrael as he and Andi sat at the bar.

"What'd you kids do last night?" Rude asked, shoving a bite of eggs in his mouth.

"We went to the cliff," Andria answered. "Just hung out, had some drinks."

"No one drove home drunk, did they?" Kandi asked, grabbing the jelly out of the fridge and smacking Zack's hand when he went for it. "Eat your real food first."

"We had Esuna's with us," Andi said. "Bryce was the one who drank the most, poor guy. Axys' torturing him again."

"That girl," Kandi laughed. "She's her dad through and through."

"Oh my gods, I forgot to tell you!" Andria nearly shrieked. "Guess who got her whorey ass knocked up?"

Kandi arched an eye brow. "Who?" she asked taking a drink of her coffee.

"Courtney Stevens!"

The coffee exited Kandi's mouth in a pressurized spray of hot creamy goodness…right on Rude's face. Having yet to put his sunglasses on, Rude's eyes bore the brunt of the attack. "Son of a bitch, Kandi!" Rude snarled.

"Sorry, Babe," she said, casting Heal on him and turning back to her daughter. "Are you shitting me?! Oh fuck, I called that one! I called the shit out of it!"

Rude grabbed his food and went into the living room. "Az, Zack, come here," he called, dropping down in his recliner. "I can't take anymore coffee to the face."

Az kissed Andria's cheek and followed the bald man and the mohawked mini-man into the living room, plate and coffee in hand. "See what time Midgar University is playing today," he said.

Andria took her plate and coffee and moved to sit over by her mother and Rhea in her swing. "Axys told me," she said. "Kaya and Marlene told her and Kaya said she scanned her last week. She's about four months pregnant."

Kandi shook her head. "Poor kid," she chuckled. "Her mom tried to be all perfect and never talk to her about sex and judged ME for my profession and past. Now she's going to be a grandmother and my kid's still a virgin. Parenting win for me!"

Andria grinned. "You're just lucky I'm such a good kid. It has nothing to do with you," she teased.

Kandi returned the smile and took her hand. "Thank the gods you took after your father."

A/N: Yep. Still a fuck up. But I lurve hur! Reviews are appreciated. And loved. And will be rewarded with...something. I don't know what though.