Chapter Ten

Severus had realized at that very moment in the quiet corridor that he had fallen for the young woman. The trust and desire he had seen in her eyes were intoxicating and it made him feel alive for the first time in a long time.

The feeling also terrified him.

He had only ever really loved once and it had ended disastrously. In hindsight he knew it had been a childhood infatuation, but regardless, he had lost his heart to his friend and as he'd cradled her dead body in his arms he vowed he'd never let himself feel so vulnerable again. That was why he left the Ministry, left Hermione.

Hermione, he liked the way her name sounded in his mind.

He disillusioned himself and paced the dimly lit corridor listening to the soft din of voices beyond the double wooden doors but could take it no more. He needed fresh air, needed to escape the confines of his own feelings. Regardless of how far he went there was no escape. He'd fallen into the rabbit hole once again and his head was all but lost to this woman

He waited and watched as she left, her head hung low, her eyes shone with unshed tears. He figured it was best for her to cry now, rather than later when he was sure to hurt her. Regardless of the time that had passed since the war, there was nothing good about him.

When he'd received her owl asking him to meet her he imagined it was to take him to task about Lucius' announcement. It was the final piece in the plan to finally lay waste to the salacious rumors and stories in the paper. The public seemed satisfied and sympathetic. They had turned on Rita Skeeter and demanded her resignation. He knew they would have to keep up pretenses for a while but it was the least amount of time for them to part quietly, attributing their separation to work responsibilities and time. Severus was glad he would not have the public and press hounding him at all hours; and he was happy they'd leave her alone to do the work she so loved.

Severus' visit to her orphanage had been an eye opener. He vowed he'd continue helping those children. So many were lost during the war, he was going to make sure they were not left to fend for themselves. His influence with Lucius, and his in turn with the Ministry, had pushed her bill forward. Had she been left to her own accord, it would have never passed. He was glad to have helped her regardless of his emerging feelings; he wasn't completely selfish, he knew a good cause when he saw it.

He returned to his home and stood watching the rough seas beat against the shore. It would take some time but he was sure he would forget the woman. Sipping the amber liquid from his tumbler he watched the sun set over the horizon, taking with it his brief glimpse of happiness.

Hermione hadn't understood what she'd done wrong.

It had been three weeks since that day at the Ministry. Mercifully, she had been so busy with the passing of her bill that it had somewhat kept her from falling completely prey to her growing unhappiness. She'd never felt like this kind of sadness before. In such a short time she had fallen for this man that had awakened so many feelings in her. She feared she'd scared him away, done something to upset him. She'd seen in the paper that he'd announced a business trip overseas. This would explain why they would not be seen in public. She'd sighed, afraid she'd thought too much of their brief interludes. Surely he was used to more experienced women. Throwing herself into her work she ignored the tightening of her chest every time she thought of her former professor and almost-lover.

In the evenings, she would lie in bed and stare at the thick canopy that hung overhead, remembering his mouth on her, his hands ghosting over her body, the delicious rapture of his voice as it made love to her senses. Many a night she took to trying to bring herself to climax with the memories alone but they paled in comparison to what she'd felt from him. It was only when she used the phallus that he'd given her that she felt any of his warmth, his strength, his inherent magic thrumming through the phantom cock. Nights passed with her crying out his name in release. She was nowhere near forgetting him, realizing she didn't want to forget him.

On a Friday afternoon three weeks later, Lucius Malfoy stormed into her office, with his robes pristine and majestic; he painted an imposing picture against her modest furnishings.

"There you are Miss Granger. How long will you continue to play at this game?" his tone was chilly and formal.

Gone was the man she'd dealt with recently. His ire frightened her and she stepped back momentarily as she fingered the wand in her leg holster.

"Mister Malfoy, I would appreciate it if you calmed down before addressing me. I have no idea what you're going on about," she said, her chin tilted up in defiance.

He leaned his walking stick against her desk and calmly removed his leather gloves, he tugged one finger at a time and Hermione found herself momentarily mesmerized by such a simple yet gracious act.

"Like you don't know Miss Granger, leading a man on like that is foul indeed," he said, tucking both gloves into the pocket of his thick winter robes. He shucked them off and began to pace the small space before the hearth in her office.

"Are you talking about Snape?"

"Oh, it's Snape now?" He walked over to her, his body imposing, his scent rich and overpowering. "How quickly you forget Miss Granger, your little foray in my game room."

Momentarily embarrassed she covered her mouth and turned away, walking back behind her desk, putting some distance between her and the man. Using the desk for stability she nervously rubbed the worn wood of her desk as she struggled to calm her rapid breathing. Memories began to bombard her and she realized he was in her mind, seeing her memories, calling them forth.

"Stop it!" Hermione yelled and tried to turn, her hand at her wand but she was powerless. Her body bent over she leaned on her desk in pain. This man had been a death eater, he'd been trained by the best and worst there ever was. She could do nothing but watch him riffle through every intimate moment with Severus until he found the one he was looking for, the moment inside the Ministry when she and Severus had almost kissed.

"I thought as much Miss Granger," his voice softened.

She struggled to stand but found her legs give way. She didn't go far as his strong arms were quickly around her to halt her fall, placing her instead gently on her chair. Summoning some water he held the glass out for her to drink.

"I don't understand. Why did you want to see that?"

Leaning against her desk his legs crossed at the ankle as he fingered the chain of his pocket watch, seemingly thinking cautiously about how to proceed before he spoke.

"Miss Granger, I have known Severus for the better part of my adult life. We have been through Hades and back and I consider him a brother. Had it not been for him, I would have lost my son as well as my life on countless occasions. The sacrifices that man has made are innumerable. Those stories however are for another day. The reason I wanted to see that particular memory Miss Granger is because I have only ever seen that look one other time on Severus' face."

Hermione thought back to the stories she'd heard of his love for Harry's mum and felt the tightening in her chest again. To be loved with such devotion, it was a heady thought.

"I don't know if you know Miss Granger, but it was his pastime as well as mine to read your exploits in the paper. He didn't think I noticed, at first it was to follow the adventures of the golden trio but after some time I realized it was really about you. He would smile at your accomplishments and mutter about you being a…what was it that he said, oh yes a know-it-all. Yet, I could see the admiration in his eyes grow as he watched you become the woman you are today. This is why I knew I did well in suggesting you for this elaborate ruse. I taunted him and he played right into my hands. But now…" He stood and walked over to the window. The first flurries of snow were falling and the sky had darkened. His reflection in the glass hid the calculating glint in his gaze.

"N-now what? He left, you read the paper! Off traveling on some business trip, I owled him and got no response." Hermione's tone was harsher than she'd wanted but she didn't know what this man wanted from her.

"I asked him to wait. I wanted to tell him that I wanted…," she trailed off, clasping one wrist with her other hand her head shaking in frustration.

"You wanted what Miss Granger? More lessons, more illicit meetings in darkened nooks? Just what did you want from him?" His tone was accusatory as he stalked towards her, his hair had come free of its neat plait and it flowed wildly against his face.

"I wanted him!"

Covering her face she looked down. She hadn't really even admitted it to herself. She had wanted Severus. She'd wanted to tell him she wanted him more than anything she'd ever wanted before.

Adjusting his robes he ran a pale hand through his hair and took a seat by the fire.

"Good! Now just what do you intend to do about it Miss Granger?"