She thought she understood everything she needed to understand. Everything seemed rather clear to her. Touka was someone she had to hide from, Kaneki was of the same species as she was, Chloe was someone she should associate with yet keep a distance, and Anthony should be left to lead his own life.
Aloysia buried her head in her hands as she sat on the roof two blocks away from Anteiku. She was too afraid of Chloe to go back and was frightened of her past to confront the Anteiku. All she wanted was to lead a normal life like all those ignorant humans that walked the streets in their business suits. Women in skinny stilettos, men in ties, children in school uniform… Of course, the world was never fair. She wished that she could relive her life once more. Change the past. She would not leave the attic. Not meet Anteiku. Not get caught by the CCG. Not encounter Chloe. If she could just slip past everyone and not be noticed. If she could just disappear and become invisible from the world. The bloody scene of the detention centre was like a stick lodged in the back of her mind and every single time she remembers it, it would scratch. And scratch. And scratch. And scratch. And scratch. And scratch. And scratch. And scratch. And scratch. AND SCRATCH. AND SCRATCH. AND SCRATCH.
She could not take it. It felt like she was going mad. That memory was scraping away at her sanity. It was all so clear. Up to each blood splatter. Up to how fun it felt. She actually enjoyed it. Playing with their lives in the palm of her hand was surprisingly entertaining. Having released all her pent up rage against humans was rather gratifying. All that rage dissipated right after that incident. However, it only left to be accumulated once more. Why were they allowed to lead a normal life? Why were they the dominant race? Why do they despise ghouls? Yes, ghouls do eat humans but not all eat out of want. It was a necessity to survive.
Aloysia glared down at the two human children playing with a Frisbee in their backyard. Their smiles were so innocent. They were happy. Truly happy. Was it possible to feel truly, honestly happy like those dumb people you meet every day on the street, talking as if they got a clue what would happen in the future? Aloysia shifted her gaze away and rested on a purple-haired girl and a brown haired girl leave the café in school uniform. The purple haired girl looked so familiar. Aloysia leaned against the concrete ledge of the rooftop to get a closer look. She then recognised the violet eye and the long fringe. Touka.
Aloysia let out a sad chuckle and fell back on the concrete, staring up at the blue skies. She could not even remember her best friend's appearance. Her hand subconsciously went up to reach for her long white hair. She brought the strands in front and gazed at it for a moment before letting go and it dropped back beside her face. That other girl with brown hair, was she a replacement for the friend that went astray? For the friend that betrayed her? For the friend that left her behind? A small, depressed smile formed on Aloysia's lips.
"She is a good choice," she murmured weakly, trying to control the tears that were threatening to spill. At this rate, Touka would really forget her. But, it was for the best. At least Touka would not see her as she slowly loses control.