Chapter 3

This is still for Clara, but she'll now be sharing it with Heather, who was of tremendous assistance for this chapter. I still own nothing. Let's get crackin', shall we?

"Tune in" meant interact harmoniously with the world around you - externalize, materialize, express your new internal perspectives.

-Timothy Leary

They stuck around and chatted with Vishal for another half hour. It would have been rude to just dose and dip out. When they parted ways, Red gave Vishal a bear hug and thanked him once more.

As they strolled through the crowd, Red toyed with the fringe on Liz's shorts. Despite being done with Vishal, she allowed it, not wanting to make waves. They weren't even tripping yet. "Permission to continue being this handsy all day?" Red asked, brightly.

Liz pretended to contemplate the question for a moment before answering, "I don't know. Maybe. We'll see how I feel in an hour."

"Do you know what to expect, Lizzie? Do you understand that sharing this experience could forever re-color the very fabric of our relationship? I wish we could have had this conversation before we took it."

"My jaw feels weird and tight."

"That's normal. It should go away soon. Did you hear what I said though, about how this could change us?" His voice was edging closer to concern.

"I did, but I was ignoring you because I don't want to have this conversation. That's actually why I took it so quickly."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Red replied, and that wouldn't work for him. Understanding Lizzie had long been one of his top priorities.

Liz detected the edge in his voice, and something clicked. They'd have to have the discussion that she wanted to avoid, but she couldn't admit her true feelings. Coming up with anxiety would bode poorly for their trip. She just needed to reassure him. It wouldn't be too hard, would it? And after that? The fun shall begin! The tension in her jaw was already accompanied by a faint, tingling sensation coursing through everywhere else.

The real question was, would it be possible to reassure him and simultaneously guard her heart? How could she go about finding the middle ground?

Her eyes widened when the solution dawned on her.

Use one of his own manipulation tactics. Filibust for freedom. Sterilize the truth, textbook-style, to the extent that it's unrecognizable.

"I'll admit that to an extent, dosing was a rash decision. It was partially fueled by a desire to escape the stress and tension that's held me prisoner since the day you walked into my life and dropped to your knees. I hate to put it so roughly, but Red, that's how I feel."

Red nodded but said nothing, actively listening and clinging to her every word. Perhaps he's tingling too.

"I read The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test in high school. You know, by Tom Wolfe? It was riveting." She had no doubt that a bibliophile like Red had devoured the book, as well. He's probably read every Tom Wolfe book, actually.

"One thing I took from it was that LSD, while obviously being a recreational adventure, can also be used, even unwittingly, as a powerful psychological and emotional tool."

Red sighed, somewhat disappointed. Using a shared trip to dig in and profile him? It was probably the last thing he wanted to hear.

As if she could read his thoughts, she continued, "Are you familiar with the term 'intersubjectivity'?" She didn't wait for a response before she went on, "Intersubjectivity has at least ten different definitions, depending on the context in which it's used. A few can be applied to this situation. It's the process of psychological energy moving between two or more subjects. We each have our own perspective and understanding in every situation, and it guides us in different directions and prevents us from ever truly seeing eye-to-eye. With intersubjectivity, personal subjectivity goes out the window, and perspectives merge and meld and go on in the same direction."

Though her words were accurate and conceived over a textbook, Liz began to wonder if she was rambling like Vishal. This level of verbosity was uncharacteristic of her. It wasn't the acid talking, but it was almost certainly pulling the strings. Liz suddenly felt overwhelmed by the desire for Red to really and truly understand what she was saying. She stopped walking and turned to look him in the eye, noting that his pupils were glassy and dilating, though not yet the size of Vishal's. She wondered how he was feeling. Was it starting to kick in for him too? He was chewing his cheek, as he does when contemplating something serious. She felt reassured that whether or not he understood, at least he was still listening.

"With intersubjectivity between two people, the psychological weight of one person comes to bear on the mind of the other, thereby creating an intersubjective experience that would otherwise be strictly solitary. In that context, a prime example is requited love, because requited love implies a mutual feeling of care and affection, among other things..."

She paused for a moment, certain that she still had more to say, but unsure of how to articulate it.

"Red, I know that this can forever re-color our relationship, but it's my hope that it will be for the better." They had stopped walking again, and she hadn't even noticed.

Suddenly, Liz was enveloped by Red's strong arms, and it felt heavenly, as if she were melting into him. She welcomed the heady scent of his aftershave as it invaded her nose and lungs. His hands slid underneath the back of her shirt, seeking direct contact with her skin.

Her jaw dropped when Red lowered his mouth to the crook of her neck to place just a single kiss.

When Liz finally found her voice, she exalted, "If you still want to be handsy, Red, permission granted."

What started off as an annoying work assignment had magically turned into a psychedelic pleasurefest that even Bacchus himself would admire.