Lord of the Coffee Java of the Ainur

by Lothithil

A Parody of Professor T's magnificent books, written by someone who drinks entirely too much coffee. No potty humour or smut, just lots of cream and sugar and not a little amount of silliness.

18. Chapter 18 Bilbean's Bath Song

Lord of the Coffee, music for the Official Movie Parody Soundtrack
soon to be available for sale in Bree, Erebor, Amroth, and some
bootleg copies from Umbar (record pirates! arr! curses!)

to the tune of Bilbo's Bath Song

Sing Hey! for a cup at the start of Day
That Sanka brings me on a tray
A dink is he that will not drink
O Coffee Hot is what I need to think!

Water we may pour at need
Down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed
But better is that to wash my face
Drinking Coffee Black makes my heartbeat race!

Sweet is the wine that at dinner we sip
Cool is the beer down our double-chins drip
But Hot Coffee is the drink for me
I can't wake up 'til I've'd two or three!

Sing Hey! for a cuppa at close of day
Shire Sludge is the brew I crave
For Arabica Beans up a mountain I'd crawl
And with another cup, I won't sleep at all!