Lord of the Coffee Java of the Ainur

by Lothithil

A Parody of Professor T's magnificent books, written by someone who drinks entirely too much coffee. No potty humour or smut, just lots of cream and sugar and not a little amount of silliness.

19. Chapter 19 The Marshmallowmarshish

The Marshmallowmarsh

Escaping from Brie was less onerous than the half-caffs had feared it would be. After arranging for supplies and a pony, and enduring a brief Q&A session with the townsfolk (no photos, please!) NescaFrodo and his friends managed to slip away unbeknownst to exactly two of the town's residents (both deceased). Their wiley Ranger and guide immediately began to lead them on a tricky path to confuse their trail, before they even left the village proper, so everyone was rather baffled when they arrived again at the Percolating Pony.

"It works every time," Styroamer said, with a wink.

Now they crossed country, fair in the late fall, leaves turning colours and late fruit hanging ripe from the boughs. But their autumnal splendor could not last, for too soon they arrived at the edge of the dreaded Bridgemix Marsh.

Here they met their first daunting obstacle: How would they navigate the chocolaty marsh, with its cocoa-quicksand and its treacherous cherry-phosphate pools? For three days, Styroamer was dragging the half-caffs out of candy-traps, herding them away from syrup fountains, and constantly reminding them to brush their teeth after snacks. Eventually, they arrived at the other side, each wearing a shiny chocolate coating and none of them having escaped gaining a few pounds.

Styroamer reached down and pinched his new love-handles ruefully.

"Oh, well... Arwenchiel has always said she wanted to see more of me..."