NescaFrodo on Amon Syrup
To keep the darkness and fear at bay, the half-caffs called for tales or songs. Sanka stood up, clasping his hands behind his back as if he were in school, and began to recite:
Gil-Grande was an Elven-King
Of him the Harpers sadly sing
Who's coffee was both sweet and light
With temperature always just right
His stirrers long, his mugs were clean,
The freshest milk was newly steamed,
And all the beans in Juan Valdez's field
Could not out-match his handpicked yield.
But long ago his kettle cooled
His upset coffee slowly pooled
He's gone to where he won't come back
To Mordonut, where the coffee's black
The DarkLord Sour'on he battled, mug-to-mug
But was vanquished by that oily thug
And tho fair as any elf could boast
Poor Gil-Grande's brand became darkroast
Rumour has it he's still there
Serving coffee, ever fair
To the minions of the Eye
Gil-Grande; far too great to die!
"That is very good, Sanka!" NescaFrodo exclaimed, applauding.
While Sanka was taking his bows and signing autographs, a dark, foul-smelling wraith slipped up beside NescaFrodo and dumped some powdery white crystals in his steaming coffee cup.
Idly stirring his coffee, he did not notice that his silver spoon melted with a glop into his saucer. NescaFrodo took a great drink, and then spat his coffee into the fire, putting it out.
"Ugh! What is that foulness?"
Styroamer sniffed at NescaFrodo's coffeecup and exclaimed, "You have been given Saccharine! Poisoned by the evil wights of Sour'on, the Dark Lord of Un-Sugar!"
NescaFrodo's face was waxy-pale, and he began to shake and sweat suddenly. Sanka ran to his side and took his hand. "What can we do, Styroamer? Can you cure him?"
"I have not the skill to combat this nefarious substance," answered Styroamer, (scoring 75 points on their game of Highway Scrabble), "We must get him to Rivendell Perk quickly, where Lord Elground may heal him with an infusion of creamcheese danish and mint tea. Alas, what a foul thing to have happen!"
"Is he going to..." began Drippin, tears forming in his sweet eyes, "Is he going to die?"
"Maybe, Drippin," said Styroamer. MochaMerry and Drippin began to sob uncontrollably. "And if he does, 'twil be better than the fate that awaits him. Mayhap he will be transformed (25 points) into a Nutralight, a coffeewraith of Sour'on, and eventually," he lowered his voice so that NescaFrodo could not hear, "He may turn into Richard Simmons!"
"NO!" chorused the half-caffs in horror, and they picked up NescaFrodo and hustled him off toward Rivendell Perk.
NescaFrodo muttered in a dream, "Deal-a-meal..." They ran faster.
Suddenly on the road behind them, they heard hoofbeats, and a great gleaming white horse appeared, with a fair and handsome Elf riding it. Gleaming stones of wondrous jewel-work were on his headstall, and silver bells rang in the wind of his passage. It raced up to them and halted. The Elf slid down from the saddleblanket and gave Styroamer a secret handshake.
"May Godiva! Eruts chocky ala caffe!" which in Elvish means "Hullo! have you any girlscout cookies for sale?"
"Glorfindelano! I am most pleased to see you!" Styroamer explained their deadly predicament (85 points), and the Elf hurriedly took NescaFrodo with him upon his steed Arabica, and they raced away like the flowing coffee down the throats of many sleepy day-trippers.
"How will we come to Rivendell Perk, Styroamer? Will we have to walk all the way?" asked MochaMerry.
"Nay, we shall get a ride from those friendly looking horsemen who are riding up, even now," and Styroamer stuck out his hitching thumb. Sanka, Drippin and MochaMerry tackled him into the ditch before the Nutralights could ride him down.
"Well, how do you like that?" complained Styroamer, as he extracted himself from under the half-caffs. "There goes the wilderness!"
For rules to Highway Scrabble, email Styroamer (DunadanishWilderland.trot)