The Breaking of the Cup
Sturgeon's Generally Warning: contains high amounts of caffeine and irreverence. Consume at your own risk.
...and so the fellowship of the cup was dispersed, sundered, rent apart, disbanded. In a word, broken.
NescaFrodo fled as fast as his furry feet could bear him, and he clutched the CoffeeRing with one hand and held his coffeecup in the other. But he could not hold both the CoffeeRing and his cup, so at last he had to drop one, and his cup fell and shattered on the stones. Many sweet drops of coffee did he spill with his tears as he ran, mourning for the loss of his mug that had served him coffee so faithfully (which had been a gift from his Uncle Bilbean and had said in lovely scrolled Elvish lettering "Fill, Sweeten, Drain, Repeat"), and in terror of the memory of Boromocha's caffeine-deranged attack.
"This is the curse of the Black Coffee at work!" he thought grimly, "I must take it far away before it can stain the souls of more of my friends."
And another part of his mind added, in a new voice silky as chocolate syrup, "And then, you won't have to share!" NescaFrodo turned his mind away from this strange thought, but he could not keep it from his head entirely. He ran on, until he came to where they had moored their boats. He could hear the voices of his friends calling from the woods, apparently playing hide-and-seek.
"I bet Sanka is "it" again," he thought ruefully, wishing for a passing moment that he could stay and play for a round or two. Instead, he pushed one boat into the river and leapt inside. Like teacups were the boats of the Elves of Lóriandadánish shaped, and their oars were fashioned as large spoons. NescaFrodo began to paddle out into the strong current, seeking to pass by the roaring waterslide and escape into the trees on the East side of the river.
"Mr NescaFrodo, sir! Wait... Wait for me!" cried Sanka, who had appeared on the shore. He hefted his huge backpack and flung it toward the boat, where it struck NescaFrodo in the head and knocked him senseless. Sanka waded out into the river and they were both swept by the strong current toward the Waterslide of Rauros.
"AAAARRRGGGHHHHHhhhhhhwwwwwWWWWHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Both NescaFrodo and Sanka cried as they rode the white waters over the slide. Surfacing with a laugh, NescaFrodo said, "That was GREAT! Legolatté is gonna love this ride! Let's go again!"
But alas! a great line of tourists waited on the Stairs to take a turn on the Slide, and a sign at the end of the line said "Approximate Ride Wait: 1.5 years"
Sadly NescaFrodo and Sanka took their leave, before their companions could note their absence. With luck they would be searching for hours, believing that the two half-caffs had found really good hiding places.
NescaFrodo shouldered his pack, which seemed unusually heavy. He placed one hand on his friend's shoulder and said, "I am glad you are with me, Sanka."
Sanka smiled and followed his master. "I am glad I am with you, too, Mr. NescaFrodo," he murmured quietly, "I put all the coffeebeans in your backpack!"