Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.
Chapter Six: I Need A Good Man In My Life...Or A Woman
Lenalee, for some reasons she could not put her finger on, liked to be prim and properly spruced whenever she was to go see Road. Maybe, in a way, she felt that the girl deserved the best from her, and Lenalee thought that was nothing since Road was confined in the facility which belonged to the Black Order University. The Chinese girl went down to the boy's dormitory, since her car keys were with Lavi. Plus, she wasn't old enough to have a driver's license. The car was actually a gift from Cross recently, and Lenalee graciously lent it to Lavi to use, since he would most likely drive them around anyway.
Raising her hand, she knocked precisely three times. There was no answer. "...Lavi?" Lenalee tested the doorknob and was surprised to find it unlocked. Inwardly chiding the boys for their lack of safety procedures, she opened the door and called out, "I hope you're decent!" She proceeded past the living hall into the bedrooms. Lavi was there, curled up on his bed. "Lavi, what happened?! You look terrible!" Lenalee exclaimed upon seeing the redhead. The teen's eyes were bloodshot, half-lidded from fatigue and his whole face was as red as his hair! Lavi didn't respond to Lenalee, but he hugged his pillow tighter to his face and turned to face the wall.
"Are you having a fever? You don't look well," Lenalee stated and tried to touch Lavi's forehead, but the boy inched out of her reach. "...Help me call in sick for a week," Lavi's muffled voice was the only answer. Worried, Lenalee answered, "Alright, but be sure to take medicine. I'll be coming back to check up on you." Lavi nodded weakly. The young girl gently closed the door behind her and decided to ask her brother for a lift instead. However, a question plagued her mind. Where was Kanda? Even he was not as heartless as to abandon a sick friend.
Lavi hadn't slept a wink since he abruptly returned to his quarters in the university dormitory. Tyki's actions and words bothered him too much. His face grew hot and he became flustered as soon as he recalled how hideously gentle Tyki's touches were, the vanilla-tobacco flavour of his soft lips and the smoky musky scent that clung to his dark skin. Darn, Lavi liked girls! Especially those with curvy figures! Not guys who were admitted into mental institutes who regularly smoked and molested cute youthful redhead boys like him! Lavi's blush only worsened when his finger brushed against the rather obvious love bite on his neck.
"I could've punched the guy...I knew I could..." Lavi muttered under his breath, but he knew he wouldn't have done that. Tyki looked far too sorrowful for Lavi to raise a fist against him. Even with his smile, Tyki's eyes spoke volumes of the true depth of his emotions. The redhead could feel a real fever coming up; with all the stressful implications he simply found too heavy to deal with at the moment. He couldn't even understand how something though not trivial but not serious either, could have affected him this much.
Lost in his own confusing reveries, Lavi had failed to notice that he had abandoned Kanda at the facility the previous day.
But then again, Kanda himself had forgotten to wake up and go home.
"Yu..."
Who is it...The one calling my name? I...Don't hate it. The gentleness my name is being called with. Who...?
"I like you best, Yu. I don't want to leave you, ever..."
It smells good, soothing...A scent of lavender, from the nape of that person's neck. My fingers brush soft skin. The voice faltered.
"Not now, Yu..."
I could control the voice with my touch. I liked that. My fingers dance upon the smooth surface, pulsing with comfortable warmth. It was addictive.
"Yu..."
What a childish sounding sulk. But I liked that too. It made me tingle with anticipation. Just to test it, I brushed my leg against it, that bodiless yet physical presence. A small hitch was breathed out, and that voice whined. How sweet it sounded to me. To egg it on, I continued doing what I did.
"Please...Not tonight..."
I snorted in displeasure, being denied of what I wanted. But I could hear the sincerity of the request, and had no choice but to comply. Instead, I gathered that comforting voice into my arms and just held on.
Currently, he was still sleeping. And take note, Kanda Yu NEVER oversleeps even if he isn't a morning person. But for some reason, Kanda found it very difficult to wake up. His bed today was very soft, warm, comfortable and inviting. He felt lazy to crawl out. And hell, today's a Sunday. He deserved more sleep. His pillow, albeit a bit lumpy, was soft and warm. It was soothing just holding it, which fit perfectly in his arms...Wait. In the fogged mind of a drowsy Kanda a vague memory popped up. He doesn't use a pillow to hug. A lazy eye cracked open, and the next moment Kanda flung himself off the bed, effectively crashing down to the ground face first. The bed's other occupant sat up, rubbing his eyes drowsily.
"Hm? Oh, you're up. Good morning, Yu."
"What the hell are you doing in the bed?! I thought I warned you not to try anything!" Kanda growled while nursing his bruised face. Allen frowned. "Well excuse me for ending up in the bed, but first of all, I don't know how I got up here. I was very comfortable on the floor, thank you very much, when I suddenly woke up in the bed and mind you, I don't move when I sleep. I DID try to get back to the floor, but someone obviously was having a good dream, to be molesting me even though he was asleep. And then he held on for the rest of the night, so I had no choice but to continue sleeping. And this is my bed in the first place; I have every right to sleep in it, regardless of your whims."
Kanda certainly didn't miss the sarcasm directed at him. He frowned and abruptly stood up. "Whatever, I'm going home," he snarled and left the room. Allen didn't do anything for a while, but he smiled longingly at the door. "See you again next week, Yu."
Kanda cursed at himself, apparently remembering his dream all too well. And what mortified him most was that he acted out his dream in his sleep on Allen! He was steaming, but the recollection of his dream calmed him again. Whoever it was in his dream, it soothed him, that gentle voice. Kanda frowned though; he acted like quite the sex fiend in his dream. And to think in his sleep he molested Allen...Kanda shook his head insistently. No, it was Allen's fault for being in the bed in the first place! And Lavi! Why the hell had he not come to search for him when it was time to go home?!
"Ara, Kanda? You're here early," Lenalee mused when she saw the disgruntled young man wandering the halls.
"I was left here last night! Where the hell is Lavi?!" Kanda snapped.
"Oh...He must've forgotten. You can't really blame him, Kanda. When I dropped by into his room today, he looked really sick. Don't give him a hard time, okay?" Lenalee advised as she waved goodbye. Kanda fumed for a while, but he decided against blaming it on the bunny. It was rare for someone energetic like Lavi to get sick, so it was something to be considered. He dropped his coat back at the changing room before going out to wait for the shuttle bus.
"Mr. Walker, it's time for your test."
Allen perfectly masked his expression as he stood up and followed the nameless scientists he could not be bothered to remember. It was just another test; complete isolation for 24 hours to see if anything in a week had changed him. Not that Allen would give them the satisfaction of jotting statistics of his supposedly abnormal actions. He was led to a simple room, no different than his own cell. The only difference was, food was pre-prepared for him, and he was locked inside. There were cameras in this room observing his every action. He seated himself at the desk, drawing to stave off the boredom of spending 24 hours in a room all by himself.
So preoccupied with distracting himself; he let out a soft gasp of realization when he discovered that he had been drawing Kanda. Worried that he would let slip some hint that would endanger his beloved, he quickly tore the paper until it was completely unsalvageable. Allen bit his lips in obvious agitation. It wasn't his first time feeling unsettled being in isolation, but it was the first time that his uneasiness was caused by his worry for another. If the scientists found out that Kanda roused his reactions this much, they would give trouble to the Japanese, and Allen didn't want that to happen. He would give anything to protect his Yumebito from being chained and locked inside this white fortress like he was. He knew all the dark intentions the place was run with despite the guise of science. He had suffered under it for ten years, and religion be damned if he let even one day of it happen to Kanda.
"Road?"
"Lenalee" The young girl happily exclaimed and glomped her for good measure. "Good morning, Lenalee!" "Good morning, Road," Lenalee politely answered back. "You look a bit out of sorts today. Is something the matter?" The Chinese girl always admired Road for her sharp observation; nothing could get past Road. "It's just that Lavi is sick, and Kanda seems extra irritated today since he spent a night at the facility. And today Allen-kun is taking his isolation test. Since Tyki is without his overseer, he must be lonely today. Why don't we go see him?" Lenalee suggested.
Road thought for a while. It was quite rare for her to have alone time with Lenalee. While mentally apologizing to Tyki for leaving him to his own devices for the day, the young girl said, "No, maybe Tyki will enjoy his free time today. How about we go play?" "Well…What do you want to play today?" Her intern kindly asked. "Let's make cookies today!" Road cheered. She could give some to Allen when he got out of isolation. That test always made him a bit sullen, since it was an utter waste of twenty-four hours. Jasdevi wouldn't even have lasted a minute inside. Some sweets are sure to cheer him up! "Alright, I bet some chocolate chip cookies will help Lavi recover faster!" Lenalee agreed and they headed to the kitchen.
"Hello you two beauties what can I do for you today?" The cafeteria chef, Jeryy greeted cheerfully. "We've come to make some cookies today, Jeryy," Lenalee answered in return. While the two were talking, Road was trotting around the kitchen gathering the necessary tools for baking. Her old memories caused her heart to twist and writhe with childish jealousy and wanton desire to have Lenalee all to herself. It was nearly no different from when she was so full of Noah's memories, her own memories were only to replay the Noah's memories over and over in her mind reminding herself how despicable humans were and such utter weaklings that did not deserve to live. The one thing that was not the same though, was that the longing and ache brought on by memories of her past life with Lenalee was more acute and stronger than the feeling of despondent suffering and despair brought on by the Noah's memories.
Road wondered why, even though she had been born a Noah like all her previous incarnations, why had she felt that she was truly 'she' in her past incarnation with Lenalee? Bitter bile rose to her throat as the flickering horrors of her old memories bled into her new life. Road loved Lenalee when she died. Road hated her with a profound resentment because Lenalee refused to see darkness. Road loved Lenalee because she continued to put faith in light, whereas she had long embraced the darkness which stained her soul. Road hated Lenalee, because she was good and she was loved and she shared her love. And Road loved Lenalee for her selflessness, something she could never do.
Her body felt like lead. Heavy, immovable. Only her eyelids remained wide open.
Sad and curious violet eyes watched her.
She was vexed. She was regretful. She was scared.
"Come to laugh at the loser? Come to watch while I turn to dust?" She viciously spat despite her powerlessness.
The Chinese girl, not so much older than her, shook her head.
"It's just sorrowful. I don't understand...Not like Allen...I have the will to hate the Noahs, to wish them gone. But to see it happening..."
She smiled sardonically. "You're only deceived by my childlike appearance. You pity me. I don't need it!!"
"I'm not deceived by your looks! I know how capable you are of cruelty," Lenalee nearly whispered.
"Don't you now...? I only want them to know...How much it hurts to have these memories...It was better to embrace it than fight back," she wondered why she started babbling. Lenalee looked down right into her eyes, and she tried to escape that gaze. Something wet touched her cheeks. She could see herself leaking tears in Lenalee's reflective orbs.
Darkness preyed her sight. Time was near. "It's getting cold. It hurts...I'm scared...I don't want to die," she was reverted to the child she was supposed to be, quivering and shivering and trembling. "Not when I...Finally can love someone...Please, hold me," she asked in her quiet, weak voice.
Tears welled in Lenalee's eyes, and she felt herself being gathered into a warm protective embrace. "I'm sorry that you had to die, Road...I wished it never came to this." "I don't want to be reborn with these memories again. I don't want to be a Noah memories' vessel. I want to be normal. I want to fall in love with you," she could only dream of her desires which could never become reality. "You won't be reborn to live this pain, I promise you," Lenalee's voice was deathly calm for a crying girl but it reassured her.
"How can you promise me this?"
"Because I can and I will, for this is the only thing that I am able to do to make you happy."
She was the broken doll now.
"Why can I only love you when I am about to die?"
"Because you finally understand what it means to be human, Road."
Lenalee was right. She had accepted that she too, could not escape the temptations offered by the weakly mortal life. A great shudder swept over her body.
"I'm sleepy, Lenalee...Don't leave..."
"I'll be with you until you go, Road. Do you want a lullaby?"
She could hear the gentle smile in her voice.
"You were always more beautiful with long hair, Lenalee."
Road's last memories were of a soft singing as her body and spirit dissolved into the air. "Road?" Lenalee blinked curiously at her. Road smiled in return.
"I do love you so much, Lenalee."
EDIT
DX OMG!! I made the wrong chapter!! The extras you guys read were spoilers!! I'm terribly sorry!!