Of Minas Teabag; Tales of the Vanilla City
The remainder of the Fellowship of the Cup were riding with the King of Yuban as he returned with his people to their kingdom of Breadoras. Grandélf was riding his mighty horse, Snackfax, and around him the rest of the companions rode on their own steeds. The White Wizard was talking:
"The threat of Sacchrineman is thwarted, but now we must turn our faces toward the true danger that threatens Middle girth. In his vast cafe of darkness, Sour'on squats and plots and peeks out of the curtains, planning to take over all of Middle girth so that there is no fairer or finer coffee served anywhere, which does not bear his trademark label. He seeks to regain the One Coffee Ring; with that coffee-corrupting power he will grind all of the beans in Middle earth into a single great tureen of mediocre coffee, and charge outrageous prices for it!"
Aromagorn looked at the Wizard, then toward the reader sitting before their monitor sipping tepid coffee, then back at Grandélf, and he asked, "Who are you talking to?"
Grandélf shushed him, "Don't interrupt my monologue! Ah-hem! He will over-price his coffee and enslave all of Middle girth to his monopoly of weak, bitter chicory, if our friends NescaFrodo and Sanka do not succeed in destroying his CoffeeRing.
"I deem that the first coffee will be spilled in Minas Teabag, for that stronghold lies nearest to Mordonut. He will seek to destroy all his competition, and they have at all times opposed Sour'on's greedy ways."
Boromocha puffed out his chest in pride, splitting his chain mail hauberk down the seams. "Minas Teabag! At last, I shall return to the city of my people! Have you ever seen it, Aromagorn?"
Aromagorn said, "Actually, yes, I ..."
"Have you seen the white chalk roads that lead toward where she dwells beneath the white peaked mountains, rising like a many-layered white wedding cake into the sky...?"
"Yes," repeated Aromagorn, "I have been there..."
"Have you looked upon the white doors of great strength, and the winding roads up into the city between building of white stone, until they empty out into the open white court of the White Tree, before the halls of the Citadel?"
"Yes, I said I have..."
"And the white tower of Éclairion, poking into the sky like a spike of white pointy stone? Have you heard the call of silver trumpets calling you home to the white rooms and floors, ceilings, closets and niches?"
MochaMerry yawned, "Silver trumpets, eh?" he muttered under his breath to Drippin, "What, did they run out of white paint, then?"