Disclaimer: -Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.
Chapter Eight: Two Sides of a Moon
"Yu, have some tea."
"...I said stop calling me with that name, moyashi."
"If you stop calling me a bean sprout."
The daily arguments have become a norm after one month Kanda Yu came to know Allen Walker. Said boy smiled as he served a cup of green tea to the disgruntled intern in the cafeteria. Lavi was sulking as he sat on Kanda's other side. Tyki was all gloom as he sat beside Allen, who was beside Kanda. Ever since the embarrassing scene in the infirmary, Lavi had refused close contact with Tyki and insisted never to be left alone with him at all. To the poor man's shock, Lavi even went as far as to request a change of patient in charge.
Tyki was only lucky that there was a lack of interns and since he was a classified level four patient, he was not to be left without supervision. Road felt that she was horrible because she felt terribly amused at Tyki's predicament. Sad to say that she was still as far as friends could be with Lenalee, but Road didn't really mind if Lenalee was to never remember the past. As long as Lenalee would stay with her she was fine. The ex-Noah of Dreams still had the manipulative streak in her, and as selfish as she sounded, she wanted Lenalee to love her back.
"Allen Walker, it's time for your blood test."
Allen showed no signs of weakness, his silver eyes becoming glassy and shielded his thoughts. "See you later," he bid a brief farewell and left with those cold-looking doctors. "...It worries me," Lenalee suddenly mentioned as Allen disappeared around the corner. "What worries you?" Lavi quipped, leaning his head on the table. "Sometimes, when I see Allen-kun's back retreating like that...It feels like he isn't going to come back," the Chinese girl murmured in silent contemplation. Kanda grunted, "Hah, he's going to be in this loony bin until he's certified that he's free to go. He isn't going anywhere."
"On contrary, there are a lot of places in this building people go to and never come back," a new voice piqued. "Oh, hey there Johnny," Lavi greeted with a grin and a wave. Kanda raised an eye at the teenage boy, who looked to be almost the same age as Allen, with ridiculously big glasses and very frizzy hair. "This is Johnny, Kanda. He was admitted three years ago. He...Is an ex-student of our university," Lenalee introduced. "Anyway, what's with the mysterious thing you were talking about just now?" The redhead asked.
"Remember that patient who went crazy a while ago? The one who stabbed Allen and Tyki? Do you guys know what happened to him?" Johnny whispered in a very low voice. All three interns shook their heads; they really did have no idea. Tyki looked around trying to appear inconspicuous but he was clearly watching out if there were any doctors around. Road was surveying the area just like he was. "...They took him to the third floor. No one comes back from there," the bespectacled boy voiced his words conspiratorially.
Kanda snorted. "This is bullshit. Why am I even paying attention?"
Lenalee and Lavi looked at each other. "...That's not quite true, Yu...It is a fact that even we can't enter the third floor. Only authorized personnel are allowed access. But Johnny, this is really farfetched. There is no way the Order is doing something like this," Lavi laughed it off. Johnny had a quirky smirk. "You think so? Well...I'll give you something a bit interesting, whether you want to see it or not depends entirely on you." Tyki and Road huddled closely to the tightly knit group, hiding Johnny from view as he slipped a diskette into Lavi's hand.
"That is illegal stuff, Lavi, so you better pocket it and don't let anyone see it until you get out of here," Tyki reminded.
Lavi looked surprised, but he pocketed the item anyway. "Anyway, I've got reading classes to attend to, Johnny has his tech management class and Road has sewing class so we'll be going for a bit. You guys don't have to accompany us, it's only a bore. Go find something else to entertain yourselves with until we finish," the dark-skinned man suggested. "Sure," Lavi readily agreed, still not wanting to forgive Tyki. "Lavi! Stop being such a mean-spirited person!" Lenalee reprimanded, but Tyki just apologetically smiled and shook his head. "Well kids, let's go!" He ushered the two along, leaving the trio at the table.
"...Are you sure it's okay, feeding them some 'Truth' this early?"
Johnny nodded. "We've got all the key players now. They only have two months left with us; we are the ones who don't have time to waste."
Road smirked. "They'll get their due payment for what they did to us. How is the Recovery going?"
"Since I only gained the means to do it the beginning of this year, it's got some time to go. They have a large store for it somewhere in this building. If I could have direct access, maybe two hours would be enough. But with the tools I have now, I still have about 76 percent to go," the geeky genius replied in a low voice.
"How much time for Recovery to be complete?" Tyki didn't look at Johnny as he questioned, looking straight ahead instead.
"Given my limited access and time to my tools...More or less two months. That's why I'm saying we really don't have the time," Johnny stated.
"Given the tight surveillance, I'm even surprised we can do this," Tyki drily muttered under his breath.
"Bless us, then, for getting this opportunity...Karma's on our side," Road smiled, a sweet pleasure filling her.
"See you guys later then, my class is this way."
"I can't believe you, Lavi! How long are you going to keep up this pointless grudge?"
Lavi tried to ignore Lenalee's lecture. He knew she was right, but he refused to admit it. "After all, you were the one who had the dream, and Tyki had absolutely nothing to do with it. Perhaps...you harbour a secret desire for him, which is what your subconscious is showing you through dreams," Lenalee suggested, taking Lavi by surprise who almost tripped over his own feet. "I do not have a secret desire for a pervert like him! Never!" "Who was the one who had a wet dream? I think that one is more perverted," Kanda deadpanned effectively bringing down Lavi's morale.
Lenalee giggled. "Kanda is right. Maybe you're the pervert instead and you just couldn't stand that someone is overpowering you."
Lavi gaped at his friends. Kanda AND Lenalee teaming up to make fun of him? This was a new form of torture. "I thought you guys were on my side!" "Who would be when they hear you groaning and moaning at night? One more time and I'll kick you into the living room, Lavi. I swear," Kanda growled. Being Lavi's roommate was more than a chore it usually was, and that pissed Kanda off to no ends, as he was a person who very much valued his sleep. "Yu, how can you say this to me? I'm being victimized here!" Lavi lamented.
"You know what? Maybe we should tie you up in Tyki's room and let him have his way with you. Then your unfulfilled self might be satisfied and the dreams will stop," Lenalee looked as if she was coming up with a brilliant idea. The redhead slapped his forehead in frustration. "For the last time, Lenalee, I am not lusting for that...that guy! Would you stop constructing your boy love fantasies on me?! Why not try them on Yu instead?!" "I did...But he seems to be in love with his Mugen so he ignores every other living being which is not me and you and we both are not his love interest material," Lenalee replied without hesitation.
"Oh, but he has one nowadays! Isn't Allen occupying his mind every single day?" Lavi cheekily interjected. Kanda shot him daggers with his eyes. "Who said anything about that scrawny moyashi, huh? He's an eyesore, a big baby I am forced to babysit for another two months until my internship ends and I absolutely detest him!" "See what I mean?" Lavi snickered to Lenalee, who giggled and nodded in agreement. "Yes, Kanda does seem to be constantly thinking about Allen-kun."
"Will Kanda Yu please report to the infirmary? You are urgently needed there."
The sound system announced. Kanda repressed a sigh. "Moyashi must've gotten himself into trouble again."
Allen did get himself into trouble, but it was not his fault. Something had gone wrong when they were drawing a blood sample from the boy. "What happened?" Lenalee asked as she saw the unbelievably pale Allen who was just looking very healthy a moment ago connected to a bag of blood. "We were careless enough to let new doctors handle the case, and they accidentally punctured a major vein which caused major blood loss. We managed to stop the bleeding and we've set him up with a transfusion. He should be stable in a few hours," Reever answered, rather worried. It was a very big blunder almost unimaginable with the careful review on the staff Black Order University commits.
"Where are those idiots?" Kanda demanded. "They call themselves certified doctors?!"
He was angry that his moyashi had been hurt. Yes, his moyashi who is under his care! He was prepared to dice them with his Mugen. "They've been sent to the disciplinary committee. Due action will be taken against them. For now just make sure that Allen is getting his rest. I have to pass up a report on this incident," the Australian man sighed and gave a small wave as he left. On his way out, two people pushed past him as they ran in. "Allen!" Road let out a shrill shriek of worry when she saw the pale boy. The young girl had a deadly glint in her eyes; someone had tried to hurt her beloved Allen. "Allen-kun will be fine, Road. You shouldn't have run out of your class like that," Lenalee gently chided.
"Go back, Road. I'll look out for the lad," Tyki urged.
"But I want to stay with Allen!" Road pouted and threw a tantrum.
Tyki shot Lenalee a troubled look. Understanding his silent request, Lenalee placed a hand on Road's shoulder. "You can't be so spoiled, Road. Come on, we'll go back to class. Tyki can take care of it from here," she coaxed, and Road being Road, didn't have any strength to resist Lenalee's request. "Fine...But Tyki, you better keep him safe," Road warned and she walked away huffily, Lenalee trailing after her. "I'm afraid Lenalee alone can't handle Road. She can be a handful when she's this spoilt. Go after them, Lavi," Tyki requested. Lavi looked up at him in surprise, but he obeyed. Tyki purposely sent Lavi away because he understood that Lavi was still unforgiving towards him.
"What about you? Aren't you going to get lost either?"
Kanda glared at Tyki. "No way, I'm in charge of Allen in here," Tyki smirked at Kanda's dissatisfaction. "I'm the one looking after moyashi, not you," Kanda challenged in an almost haughty manner. Tyki mentally sighed at Kanda's inability to see his growing obsession with Allen despite his very own clear actions. "I'm not in a mood to argue. I'll sit this side, and you sit that side, and we mind our own business, fair?" The former Noah of Pleasure offered. The Japanese glowered at him but made no dissent. Tyki chuckled a bit; young people were fun to play with. He wasn't old, but he felt that he had a certain wisdom Kanda doesn't.
'Who wouldn't when they have a crap-load of past memories?' The man thought with a wry smile. His beloved was mad at him, and Tyki had no way of appeasing the boy. However, he had a plan and he was working very vigorously on it. Hopefully Lavi would notice when it was complete. On the other hand, he could only mourn at how thick Kanda seemed to be. The man was warming up to Allen's infectious smiles; anyone could tell, but Kanda himself remained ignorant of it. Lavi had not said a word since the fiasco at the infirmary, but Tyki knew with the hidden glances that Lavi was getting more and more of those confusing dreams.
Lenalee and Kanda didn't show any signs of recalling yet, and for the good of their past lovers, Tyki prayed they would. A sweet, heavy scent made itself known to the man, who felt himself getting drowsy. Nodding off, Tyki vaguely thought that a nap wouldn't harm him, and drifted into sleep. Kanda had been steadfastly watching Allen while Tyki had his moment of thoughts. The young teen's face was not quite roundish and cute nor was it firmly angled and sexy; rather an in-between as he was losing his baby fats and his face was gradually maturing. His white hair, Kanda wondered if he was born with it. Really, white hair made anyone look like a geezer, but on Allen it seemed to be the most natural colour in the world.
Even his lips are enticing, the colour of full cherry blossoms. It was utterly sinful in the way they glistened lusciously and so unfitting with the innocently pure image Allen has. Though his eyes are closed, Kanda could perfectly visualize his silvery star-like eyes. It glimmered with so much life when those eyes stared at him. And he wanted those eyes to look at him only. Kanda was not so much of a fool that he did not realize how...attached he was becoming to Allen. He was just very good at hiding his feelings, unlike a certain ranting bunny. Kanda had spent his sleepless nights (being woken up by a very perverted Lavi's sleep-moaning...) in the living room, ranting and raving at himself for harbouring such thoughts.
But like the simple minded idiot he was, Kanda didn't dwell too long on his denial. He came to accept, albeit grudgingly, that Allen had grown on him more than a simple annoying patient he had to tend to. He spared a glance at Tyki, who was sleeping with his head supported by his hand. "...What's so special about you?" Kanda muttered, running a hand through the short white hair that he had come to adore. It had become a dirty little habit when Allen took his naps in Kanda's presence. Kanda hadn't realized when he began anticipating his intern work until he discovered he woke Lavi up for work on Saturdays instead of the other way around. He didn't realize how much Allen's sweet smile captivated him until he felt that he wanted to smile back.
Kanda froze when Allen stirred, but he did not wake, merely leaning into Kanda's hand. A serene smile was painted upon Allen's lips. Kanda passed another glance to Tyki, who was still sleeping. "Damn...Don't make such a cute face." Taking advantage of the fact that no one was conscious to watch, Kanda leaned down and pressed his lips against Allen's softer ones. He licked the sweet lips, amazed at the tenderness of Allen's lips. Kanda slowly smirked. "Such an adorable moyashi..." A sweet smell invaded his senses. Kanda thought it was Allen's natural scent at first, but it was different from the soothing lavender. Feeling irresistibly sleepy all of a sudden, Kanda gave in and dozed off. He never noticed a pot containing burning incense on the windowsill.
"I never meant to hurt him!"
"The fact was you did...And you lost him."
I was in pain, and my heart burned as if I had consumed flame. It had not changed at all since that day, and I was sure it would never change. This pain is my punishment for my biggest sin.
"You as an exorcist should have understood how brief life could be. You took for granted that he was on the same side as yours. I recall you as one of the lesser...naive ones."
His words were cold and piercing, but I knew he meant me no hurt. He too, had suffered his loss.
"...He shouldn't have died! He's too strong to die! It's his fault he died!"
Denial screamed itself in my ears. I stubbornly refused to look at the truth, but it hurt me even worse that I acted like a child in the face of his death.
"People are not to be judged by outer appearances. Look at you. The cold wolf who actually had a heart of glass."
No...I had no heart until I met him. He was such a naïve rash brat, always putting others before him. But deep down inside...He was the same. Behind his insincere smiles he sought to push everyone away, making exorcism his only goal in life. Humans had no purpose in his eyes. It made me sick seeing him hide his ugly true self behind that farce of a façade. Yet the sorrow behind his force drew me inexplicably to him. I wanted to own him. He who possessed such a strong yet fragile heart.
"...I loved him. Why did he have to die?"
He sighed. I knew it was a futile question, but I could not stop asking myself. It would have been better if I had died that day instead of him.
"And inflict this pain onto your beloved?"
He completely read my thoughts. Sometimes I resent his presence, for his uneasy ability of reading people like his lover once had. But he was the only one who knew my pain. He was there to remind me of the past that was.
"I let him die. I loved him and I had hurt him, and I let him die. Fuck, he was the most important person to me, Tyki! How could I let it happen?!"
Kanda jerked in his sleep, causing Allen to wake up from his rest. "...Yu...?"
I couldn't answer Kanda. I had failed as well.
"...Maybe...The reason I am not suffering as much as you are now, is because I did not let anything left unsaid. It was strange, between Lavi and I, but it made my heart lighter than anything. We'd repeat a lot of the same things to each other every time we met. We were enemies, so it was only natural that we are afraid that we'd lose each other anytime. Weren't you afraid of losing Allen?"
He nodded in defeat after a long moment of overbearing silence.
"Why did you let pride get in the way?"
"...He made me believe that we'd still have time after war. Because he never showed any signs of being threatened by the Fourteenth, I...I foolishly thought we'd have a life together when the war ends. In the end, I was the only one who didn't know anything about him."
His voice was bitter with regret and anger at himself. I can only sympathize with him.
"I thought I could wait; we both believed we would survive the war...No, that was what I thought. Maybe he knew from the very beginning of that night he would not live through the last battle. I'm such a fool, Tyki. I delayed what was most important to me, and this was what resulted. This is my just reward for my stupidity."
I allowed him to talk, since it was he who rarely expressed his true thoughts. Perhaps by listening I can ease his suffering.
"He is gone now, Kanda. I'm sure he didn't blame you at all. He would want you to keep walking. You've gone through a lot, and you overcame it. This is something you have to overcome as well."
"...I can't. My life is not for long. I will carry this regret with me to the grave. I only want a chance of repentance if I can see him in the afterlife."
My voice was muted to silence from his words. Was I destined to be the only one left from this tragedy of star-crossed lovers?
"...That is why I asked you to come today."
His eyes contained deadly severity, and he held out his most revered battle companion, the katana-form anti-Akuma weapon, Mugen.
"Take this, and go to Japan. Find someone worthy of keeping it when I am gone. That person does not have to be an Innocence user; Mugen will know how to choose his future owner. Mugen is my only true possession and I want him to be kept well by someone who truly deserves him."
His voice left no room for arguments. His determination had reached me. I can only honour his decision by accepting. Mugen came to my hand, unresisting, as though knowing his master no longer needed him.
"When you go, where do you want to be buried?"
"I want no burial. Cremate me and spread my ashes over his grave. What is left which cannot be burned...bury it all with him."
It would be a beautiful funeral to behold.
"You can count on me."
Allen was surprised to see tears seeping out of Kanda's closed eyes. He fretted over what could possibly distress his Yumebito and without thinking, cradled his head close and solicitously licked them away, praying he could comfort his sleeping love. It was a bad timing as Kanda's eyes cracked open a split second later, catching Allen in the act. Allen froze, and rapidly let go. He was afraid of an explosive reaction, knowing Kanda was unfriendly to begin with, and without any dreams of recollection, there was no telling how the Japanese would react towards Allen's licking.
Kanda's eyes narrowed into a glare, and Allen knew there was hell to come.
The moon-like boy certainly had not expected Kanda to pin him down and brutally smash their lips together. Allen gasped at the pain when Kanda's teeth grazed his lips, unwittingly allowing Kanda his desired entrance. The man slipped his tongue in without any qualms, fully tasting the silky smooth milky honey flavour of the latter's mouth, ravishing all at his leisure and will. Allen couldn't help but let out a small moan of surprise to feel Kanda teasing him with his tongue. He futilely smacked at Kanda's shoulder, too taken aback to truly absorb the situation.
"Y-Yu...I need...to breath!" Allen managed to speak through the pressed lips. Much reluctantly, Kanda released his captive, gazing hard into those bewildered silver eyes. Allen blushed under the scrutiny. "Yu...? I didn't really mean that...I mean...What was that?" Allen's tone pitched higher in incredulity. Kanda frowned. "Do you mean your licking or not?! Don't attempt to lead me on!" Neither really noticed that Tyki was already awake, but he pretended to keep on sleeping because it was too awkward a situation to wake into right now.
"W-What?! I couldn't possibly mean that, you...! You'd kill me!" Allen furiously denied, his face burning in embarrassment. His facial expression betrayed the truth to Kanda, who smirked slightly. "Baka moyashi...I'll let you get away with it this time...But you won't be so lucky the next." He ran a finger along Allen's trembling lips. Allen was too shocked to speak; only watching Kanda leave the infirmary.
"...Is it safe to look up now?"
"T-Tyki?! You were awake?!"
Tyki smiled uncomfortably. "I didn't want to interrupt your time being lovey-dovey with him." "There is nothing lovey-dovey about that situation!" Allen yelped indignantly. "...I wonder if he had a dream." Allen's head snapped to attention when he heard those words from Tyki. "What do you mean?" Tyki wryly smiled. "I had a dream of the past again...About life after the last war. He was in it. Maybe he saw the dream, maybe he was affected by me who dreamt it..."
"Do you...Do you think he'll remember?"
He could not hide the hopefulness in his voice.
"I pray he will."
Lavi really did not want to know what put Kanda in this horribly chipper mood. It had started when he and Lenalee both saw Kanda smirking; and by a general rule Kanda smirked when one, he held his prized family katana Mugen; two, he's feasting on soba and three, when something happened the way he wanted it to. Lavi eliminated one and recalled the infirmary being the last place Kanda was in, so option two was deleted as well. That left option three. It took a dive to hell when Kanda even snatched the car keys from him and drove them home. Though Kanda had a license, no one ever let Kanda take the wheels. Reason?
Lenalee dived out to the ground, kissing the grass the moment Kanda stopped in front of the dormitory. Lavi rolled out and puked behind the bushes. Now that he thought about it, Lavi wondered how exactly Kanda got his driver's license. And the driver from hell had the galls to toss the keys back to Lavi, acting like nothing happened. Lenalee thought that Kanda enjoyed the intensity of a crazy car drive, except that it made her blood pressure blow the roof top.
"Y-Yu?"
"What?"
Lavi gasped. Kanda didn't snap at him for calling him by first name! "...What happened?" In the end, Lavi couldn't defeat the curiosity in him. "...I like sweets. Dango, especially. Honey too," Kanda cryptically answered. It was enough to make Lavi want to tear his hair out and scream apocalypse. "Bullshit, you HATE sweets! Come on, tell me the truth!" The redhead begged, rolling in his bed like a child throwing a tantrum. Kanda eyed Lavi with scorn, as if taunting him for not knowing something. "Should I? Knowing what a big mouth you have..." "I won't tell, I swear!" The bunny-like young adult promised, eyes glittering at the chance for juicy information.
"I want a certain naïve little lamb...He tastes good."
Kanda smirked predatorily. Lavi's eyes widened as far as they could humanly go. "You...Finally molested Allen?!" Lavi screamed like a fangirl, startling Kanda, who glared at him in return. "I didn't molest him, but he didn't look unwilling." His roommate squealed even more at the titbit. "Yu, since when?! I didn't even realize you had a thing going on for Allen!"
"...Maybe since the first time I saw him."
Kanda still remembered, the enlightening sensation he felt when he first glanced at Allen. He had already been whole-heartedly captured by the young teen. Lavi smirked at him. "And, when will you let the poor harassed boy know?" "Hn, he's the one who's all over me in the first place. I'm going to take my own time," Kanda answered shrewdly. Lavi suppressed the urge to shriek like a fangirl once more, but he still squealed like an undignified female. He couldn't help it!
"You ABSOLUTE bitch! Oh my God, this is fuckin' rad!"
Kanda threw a pillow into Lavi's face. "Don't call me a bitch."
"Yu...You're finally growing up. I'm so proud." Lavi mocked tears and dodged another pillow. He spotted a blue object sticking out of his pants' pocket. "Oh, I nearly forgot! You can sleep first, Yu. I got myself some scandalous details to read!" The redhead energetically jumped up and snagged the diskette as he ran out of their shared bedroom into the living room of their quarters to use the computer. "Whatever, you hyperactive pouf..." Kanda switched the lights off and crawled into his bed, praying Lavi would not have another wet dream.
Kanda got himself his peaceful sleep that night...At the expense of Lavi's innocence.
"...This is nuts...Impossible..."
Emerald eyes wavered at every word they devoured, more and more confusion straining his already heavy mind. What he had been given was classified data of patients of the Walker Syndrome. Allen's profile was currently on display, stating his date of admittance was ten years ago. The dead gray eyes of a young boy, not much older than a babe, stared back at Lavi. Lavi had stepped over the boundary.
The search for the conspiracy had begun.
Yay, finally things get serious!
EDIT
I made some mistakes in this chapter, so I just corrected it.