Disclaimer: D. Gray -Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.

Chapter Fourteen: Freedom Lies

"You've seen me."

He was back, my doppelgänger.

"Hn...It was you that moyashi looked at all along, wasn't it?"

The sense of envy, still strong.

He smirked in answer.

"Was it? My...No, our Allen sees all. He saw me. He hoped for me. But he feels you. He loves us. We are the same being. You were only too late in realizing it."

"...Who are you?"

He was me, but that answer did not satisfy me.

"...I am the part of you that you refused to accept. Your rejection would only result in madness. I had no choice, but to take refuge in Mugen, where part of my emotions lived on. Now that you know...What will you do?"

"Was it you...the one who gave me those weird dreams...? No...memories."

He nodded. But those memories seemed so vague and disconnected.

Was it because I rejected them unconsciously?

"Do you want to see more?"

I will not hesitate now. This will light the truth of the relationship moyashi and I share.

My shadow approved, and reached out.

"This will be last of our meetings, Yu. We are finally...one."

A plunging sensation, as if I fell into a whirlpool.

Kanda tossed and turned in his bed, but Lavi was not there to see. He was in the kitchen talking to Alma. The redhead was nursing a cup of hot chocolate, but his spirits were low. "Why didn't you let me continue telling Yu the truth?" Alma bluntly asked. He was about to tell Kanda about what got Mr Edgar and his wife killed, but Lavi stopped him. Instead, the redhead made Kanda go to sleep, promising more of the truth the following morning.

"Since you mentioned that they got killed because they knew something they shouldn't...Can I assume that you're Awakened?" Lavi also cut to the chase.

"You too, Lavi? I did think you had that feel to you, though. Since when?" Alma asked, almost excitedly.

"I, uh...recently. But what about you, Alma? You seem to know a lot more than I do," the redhead deflected. Alma shrugged, putting his mug into the sink. The latter's eyes grew misty. "I was Awakened when Mr Edgar and Madam Twi...passed away. It was after that...Someone who realised I was Awakened took me in and told me the whole truth. You should join us, Lavi. It isn't safe for you to act alone."

"Join you...?? You've got an organisation or something??"

Alma grinned. "As a matter of fact, yes."

My hand trembled.

It wasn't the first time I struck him.

But it was the first time I struck him with such hate.

Why had he not told me earlier?

Was I that untrustworthy?

Bitterness preyed on my conscious.

I did not strike moyashi because he was changing into a Noah; I struck him because he did not confide in me.

Were we not lovers? Why did he feel the need to hide from me?

"Damn it!"

My fist smashed into the wall. My skin split from the impact, blood flowing freely from the knuckles, but the pain was dull compared to the frustration and disappointment I felt.

There had to be a way to stop it.

If destroying the source of all Noahs, the Earl, did it...Then by all means, I was going to wipe out every damned Noah to save moyashi.

Until then...I will wait for the battle to come.

For Allen, I would lay down my life.

"Still...I guess I understand why you love Yu...Since you're Awakened," Lavi sighed.

"I'd still love Yu even if I'm not Awakened. We've been together since we were kids. He's a brother to me, and brothers look out for each other's back," Alma replied with a smile. His smile dissolved into a confused stare at the sight of Lavi, whose jaw was resting on the floor with his emerald eyes popping out of their sockets. "...What?"

"B-B-Brother...? I thought you liked Yu the romantic way!!" Lavi exclaimed.

"When did you get that idea?!" Alma yelled back, shocked. Him and Kanda, romantically inclined? Pigs would fly!

"B-But that day, when I asked you the question about how you felt about Yu, you said you...uh..." Lavi lost words. Alma never did exactly say he was in love with Kanda. Alma shook his head furiously. "You asked if something developed from spending a long time with each other! I thought you were talking about brotherhood!! So in that case, yes, I treat Yu like he's my brother! But if you meant feelings of love, then my love is restricted to brotherly feelings. After all...We were once born from the same place. Even without blood relations, Yu is my brother."

He was officially dead. Lavi just knew it. "Oh, crap...Shit, shit, shit...I am soo dead!!"

"...Why?" Alma had an inkling he knew why.

"I, uh...Well, you see...God, this is embarrassing...Long story short, some people considered you a rival to Allen, and uhm...They weren't happy when I told them you love Yu the romantic way?" Lavi laughed awkwardly, wondering how far the effects of his misunderstanding spread. Alma was gaping at him, and the redhead wouldn't be surprised if the other was going to throttle him for basically painting a bulls-eye on his back to be shot at. The next question that came from Alma however, was, "Rival to Allen? Are you saying that Allen likes Yu?"

"Rather than that, they were lovers in the previous life. After Yu joined the Order, of course. Sorry, since you weren't sort-of, you know...Alive that time?" Lavi wanted to smack himself at the lack of subtlety. Alma nodded understandingly. "Then, was Allen waiting for Yu to remember?"

Lavi sighed sadly, having anticipated that question somehow. "They broke up in the end, before the last battle. I don't know the reason, and I think the only one who really knows is Allen. And after Yu's outburst last week...I think their chances of getting together again aren't very bright. Allen's more emotionally damaged than ever..."

Any further conversation was interrupted when Kanda stepped out of the bedroom, looking exhausted and somewhat stunned. "Yu, are you alright? You look pale," Alma pointed out. Kanda stared at the ground for a long time before he answered.

"I...dreamt."

Allen watched the panel of doctors opposite him calmly. Though they claimed to be the team who wanted to cure him, they were nothing more than a group of executioners. After long years of forcing Allen to take unnecessary medicine, chaining him, restraining him...They were going to kill him. The offer they made was as good as a death sentence. Maybe a month ago, he wouldn't even consider looking at it, but now...It was perhaps, a good chance. Maybe Allen was never meant for long in this world. He looked at the contract, perusing each word slowly.

The doctors were silent, awaiting his answer. Their offer; to test a combination of electro-convulsive therapy and new drugs on him, the 'source' of the Walker Syndrome. In exchange, Allen must practically sign over his life to their testing. There were so many ways the test could go wrong, and just like that he would be erased from the world as an unfortunate product of 'a haphazard experiment'.

"I accept."

And with that, Allen Walker signed the papers. The doctors were surprised by the ease which Allen agreed, but did not question their luck. Having the approval, the doctors had Allen escorted back to his ward. A joyous view greeted him; Road was awake. "Road!!" Allen bounded forward and hugged the girl with his good arm. Road giggled and returned the hug. "How are you, Allen? Are you alright? Apart from the arm, that is," Road questioned, turning Allen about.

"I'm just fine. What about you? Can you get out of bed yet?" Allen replied.

Road smiled. "I'm free to leave the ward! Where did you go just now?"

At the mention, Allen suddenly mellowed. Tyki and Road exchanged worried glances. What was happening? The white-haired teen sat down, and slowly explained where he had been and what he did. At the end of it all, Tyki was shaking with fury while Road was staring at Allen with a look of shock. "Why did you agree, Allen?! Electro-convulsive therapy? They could just notch up the voltage and turn you into a crisp like a pigeon that landed on a live wire! This is crazy, Allen, and you know it! There's nothing wrong with you; those treatments aren't going to change anything!" Tyki bellowed, mad that the doctors chose to target Allen at his most vulnerable moment.

Allen smiled morosely. "I know...That's why."

Road's eyes were wide open. "Allen, you can't kill yourself like this!"

"I can, and I want to. I don't think I can take much more any longer...And there is nothing that is truly mine in this world," the white haired boy mentioned softly. "Are you abandoning us...?" Road hoarsely whispered. "No...You both have Lavi and Lenalee. I can't be there for the both of you all the time. At any rate, the form has been signed. Nothing can be changed anymore. Besides, there is no real danger of them killing me. They won't simply snuff my life out for no reason," Allen answered calmly.

"You can't tempt death like this! Why, Allen...? Was Kanda's rejection too much for you?" Tyki asked fearfully. The effect of Kanda's outburst had been far worse than he expected. He knew Allen would be depressed, but not suicidal.

A single tear leaked.

"No. It is my love for Kanda which has become too much for me. Never have I seen death as such a welcoming escape from my miseries...Even..." Allen paused a bit, his voice cracked, "Even though...This time, my life has been nothing but suffering...With my passing in this life, I believe I can meet Kanda again in the next life under better circumstances."

"You don't believe, Allen. You just want to believe," Road heatedly proclaimed. Her accusation was desperate, and she hoped Allen would change his mind. Allen stared at her for a while, before his tears started afresh.

"Yes, I want to believe...That in the next life, I can meet him again. And in the next life, I want to believe that I can tell Kanda how much I love him without being seen as a madman. I want to try...And prove to myself that Kanda loved me...Still loves me. There are so many things I want to believe in and am afraid of. In this life...I am too afraid to believe any longer. There is no hope of love for me. I'll most likely survive the treatment, if I am meant to live."

"Allen...You foolish, foolish boy..." Tyki scolded, hugging him fiercely. Road joined the hug, holding on tightly to Allen. Neither of them wanted to let go, but Allen had made up his mind. It was true, that Allen was unlikely to be killed off in a treatment; they always left Allen alive with each treatment...But they both felt that this time, Allen was treading in dangerous waters. The big difference was that Allen was HOPING he could die. With Kanda and Lenalee sent away, their likely allies were few, and Tyki surely would not want to put Lavi in danger. The operation was set to be done tomorrow. No one can change it now.

"Hello...Supervisor. Yes...Allen Walker's consented to electro-convulsive therapy. The date is tomorrow...Please do."

Doug slipped his cell phone back into his pocket. Just then, his two charges appeared around the corner. Immediately, he slipped on a frown and chided, "Where have you two been? I've been looking for you both!" Jasdero giggled as Devit smirked.

"Idiot, it's your job to follow us around, not for us to follow you!"

Doug patted their shoulders gently. "Today...I'll let you guys go off. But I think...Allen is in need of your company." The twins wilted upon the mention of Allen. Both of them had been informed of the situation by Tyki, and neither of them liked it one bit. They had been so sure that Kanda liked Allen; their senses had never been wrong. But Kanda proved to be an idiot beyond doubt, and the twins swore they would never let Kanda hurt Allen again. If Doug said Allen needed them, then they would go to his side!

"See you later then, Doug!"

Doug saw them enter the ward before turning to leave. They were going to act tomorrow. Johnny still had three weeks' worth of data to hack from the private databases, but if there was a way to provide Johnny with a way to the main server, then the boy could be done in fifteen minutes. If Johnny already had the blueprint though, the only task was to slip past the stationed doctors who acted as guards, and gain access to the server. So deep was Doug in his thought that he bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry-"

His voice stopped. Lavi stared at him. He stared at his friend, his old, old friend in return. Could he trust Lavi? No...Doug decided it was too risky to simply take a blind leap of faith. Even if it was Lavi. Still...It was his fault a long time ago...That Lavi was in pain. At least, an apology. Doug patted Lavi's shoulder in a friendly gesture, a small smile gracing his features. "I'm sorry."

'For everything I've made you do.'

Lavi seemed torn between simply nodding and saying something. Doug didn't seem likely to remember, but still...There was a chance to answer. "I've never blamed you."

"Niisan, what do you mean, tomorrow?! We're still about three weeks away from the planned time! Johnny hasn't got all the data yet! Without it, we can't persecute them!"

Komui understood his sister's concern, but it was time to move whether they liked it or not. The men of the institute have gone too far this time. But if he told Lenalee that they planned to use electro-shock therapy on Allen, he wouldn't put it past his sister to storm the place and literally kick the heads of the doctors clean off their shoulders. "The situation has changed, Lenalee. They are planning to implement a dangerous treatment tomorrow, and we cannot let it happen. We already have seen many deaths in their hands...I cannot forgive any more casualties."

Lenalee could feel the sorrow in her brother's voice. She understood his pains. Any of their friends who were caught were disposed of quickly and mercilessly. That was why they tried so hard to hide their true identities. The patients who went mad and were terminated...Those were also lives they failed to save. "I understand...Then do we all move, or...?" Komui smiled a little.

"Alma has informed me that Lavi would like to join our efforts. Seeing that he is the only one of the three of you to be able to enter the institute, I will ask for his help. Doug has one copy of the blueprints, so he would be able to devise a way to infiltrate the server room and allow Johnny to do his work. Lavi would have to help Doug in clearing the way for an infiltration. Timcanpy has to remain at station, in case something goes wrong. Last of all...Lenalee. You are smallest in size, so it's easy for you to sneak into the building. Can I trust you to infiltrate and disable security?"

Lenalee nodded confidently. "Leave it to me."

"Tomorrow, five thirty p.m."

There was no greater moment when Road wished she could see Lenalee. The girl was in need of comfort, to be able to hold her beloved's body, to hear her soothing voice...Especially after Allen dropped the bomb on them. Even the twins were speechless after they found out. Now they were all seated in one of the recreational rooms, with no one making a sound. Allen was there, reading his book upside down. Lavi seemed to have received some form of shock upon hearing the news, and was just curled up listlessly in Tyki's arms. The twins were crowded around Allen, one on either side. Devit and Jasdero seemed to want to give Allen as much skin contact as possible.

It was as if they feared...No, not just the twins, it was everyone's fear that Allen would just disappear. It was now that Road hated Kanda so much. Not only for causing so much pain to the brother she loved, but for having such a strong control over Allen, and he did not even know it! It took a lot from Allen to defend his sanity from this crazy place, but Kanda easily broke Allen with just one outburst. Road was helpless, and she did not like the feeling one bit. It wouldn't be long before every one of the Walker Syndrome patients knew.

The institute would be like a cemetery once that happened. Allen's happiness was almost like a lifeline in their prison. It was, to Road's disgust, like a poorly written crap piece of tragedy; with everything bad happening to Allen, who was so well-liked, just to have himself dead at the end of it all. And once that happened, anyone who has once basked in the warmth of Allen's kindness would wilt, like a dying flower. If there was a God out there, it would be a merciless God. Because God wanted Allen back in His midst soon, it seemed.

A new presence made himself known in the room. It was Jasdevi's caretaker, Doug. His eyes darted furtively about the room, scanning each person until it rested on a particular redhead. "Lavi...Can I talk to you for a moment? Privately." Lavi was surprised, but he simply nodded and followed Doug out of the room. Everyone exchanged looks. Simply out of curiosity, Jasdevi and Tyki took a peek. The two overseers were too far to be heard, but suddenly Lavi jumped and hugged Doug, who looked surprised at first but returned the hug with a warm smile on his face.

Jasdevi gasped and dragged Tyki away from the door before Tyki had a chance to react. Tyki was always the possessive type; that sort of scene could cause havoc if they let go of Tyki now. Even Allen noticed the silent growling coming from Tyki and looked up from his book. "What's wrong?" Devit kept his voice at a low volume, answering, "Uuh, his bunny just hugged Doug and Doug is liking it. Do I even have to elaborate?"

Allen got up and crossed the room to Tyki's side. "Calm down, Tyki. You know Lavi won't go around your back," he gently advised his dubbed elder brother, rubbing Tyki's back in circles to ease the tension. Tyki sulked, but he returned to his seat. What Allen said was logical; Lavi wouldn't do that to him. But it still did not stop him from feeling jealous. He's waited six years to be with Lavi again, he was justified in his jealousy!

"I wondered what they were talking about," Road mused.

Lavi did not return to the room.

"Are you serious?"

Doug nodded, putting on his best stern expression. "Yes, I am. I cannot tell you who leads the operation yet, but Alma is one of us, and he told us you wanted to join us. Tomorrow, we are going to finish gathering the evidence to incriminate them, and rescue Allen Walker from the tests. And since you and I both have access to this place, our leader asked you to join me in the mission of gathering evidence."

"Doug, my pal, count me in. It's about time this place goes to the dogs," Lavi replied.

"Great. Tomorrow at six, one of our agents will disable security momentarily. We then have to distract the front guards. Johnny will sneak into the database room and download the remaining data. Then we have to stop the tests from being performed on Allen Walker," Doug explained.

"Roger that. Also..."

Doug was startled when Lavi suddenly threw his arms around him, but when the surprise settled, he himself wrapped his arms around Lavi. "...I'm glad that you're back."

"...I'm sorry, Lavi. I was foolish," Doug quietly apologised.

They both still remembered, that fateful mission they went on. Doug, the Finder who was to assist Lavi in his mission, failed one of the fundamental rules of being a Finder. He called back the soul of a little girl, Collette, whom they met during the mission. The poor girl, dead by the hands of her employer. Doug, who was always kind, was killed by his goodness. And Lavi, who truly thought of Doug as a friend, was forced to destroy the Akuma he had become. It had been painful for Lavi to do that, but he had no other choice.

"It wasn't your fault, Doug. The Earl was preying on the sorrow of people then." Lavi mumbled, and then released his old friend. Doug smiled at him in return, their friendship reconciled. "So, how's life been treating you?"

"Life was normal until five years ago. That's when I...you know. Can't mention that word around here..." Doug whispered discreetly. Lavi nodded, completely understanding. "So...Got any love interest now?"

Doug nearly stumbled in his step, looking up to see a mischievous grin on Lavi's lips. "Please, I've been too busy for that. Besides...I have my hands full with Jasdevi. They may think they're old enough to look after themselves, but they need me. They're still children at heart. It's weird thinking like that, since they're only sixteen and I'm twenty-one...Just five years apart," Doug mused.

"Hey, you're two years older than me!" Lavi exclaimed.

"Yep...Hm, have you ever thought of what you want to do once the one you've been waiting for finally gets freed from this place?" Doug asked.

Lavi simply grinned and answered, "Have sex."

This time, Doug really tripped over his own feet at Lavi's audacious answer. Lavi's ringing laughter told him it was obviously a joke answer. "Idiot, I was serious! Well...I think I'm going to take Jasdevi in. I've been their overseer for some time...I can't imagine life without them, as stressful as it may be." Lavi observed the light-hearted smile on Doug's face for a while. That was quite an unfamiliar expression on his face...Unless... "I see...Doug, I'm so proud of you. You're in love."

"W-W-What are you saying?!"

Seeing Doug flustered, Lavi chuckled. He didn't expect Doug to be clueless when it came to the issue. Heck, Doug seemed more knowledgeable than he was, since Lavi used to be a 'heartless' Bookman before he met the man of his life, Tyki. Doug had turned a rosy pink, much to the amusement of Lavi. "W-What do you mean, Lavi?! It's not as if I-I-I have any ulterior motive towards them! That'd be despicable of me!" Doug's rambling was halted when Lavi raised a hand to silence him.

"Doug, you freak out too easily. I didn't mean that, silly. I meant that you've grown to care for them personally," Lavi explained, grinning at the comprehension dawning on Doug's face. Doug's reaction had completely revealed how he felt, though. Not that it wasn't obvious in the beginning. Doug's face grew steadily redder to the point that Lavi felt his hair's colour would pale in comparison. He laughed again, patting Doug's shoulder.

"...See you tomorrow, partner."

Link was honestly intimidated when he saw Madarao walking swiftly towards him. He half-expected the man to attack him, but instead, Madarao stopped as soon as he was in front of Link. His expression was grim and...somewhat deadly. That was the cue for Link to realise that Madarao was not going to make life confusing for him now. "Link...May I speak to you for a while? Privately in my room," the man requested politely. Link, being a gentleman himself, found no viable reason to reject Madarao's request. When the man was being polite, it usually meant he was being serious.

"Fine, let's go."

His curiosity came, albeit a bit unwanted. What made Madarao this serious? Link supposed that he would find out soon enough. Madarao kept his silence until they were in the privacy of his room. There was no use in wasting breath. "Before you came here, you worked in the administration office, no? Had you any idea that it would come to this?" Link's confusion indicated his innocence, whatever the accusation was.

"I apologise, but I do not understand what you're trying to say."

Madarao's gaze hardened, but it was not Link he blamed. "...Walker was recommended the electro-convulsive therapy, and he accepted." At the news, Link stood up from his seat in shock. There was no need for them to wonder why Allen accepted; they both knew well enough it was his emotional breakdown which clouded his judgement. Link knew his field; the therapy may bring wanted results, but there actually was nothing wrong with Allen, and there were higher possibilities of risks instead of benefits of applying the therapy.

"When is it scheduled?"

"...Tomorrow, 6pm. Link...It is better for you to leave this institute. At least, transfer to another department."

Once again, Link suffered great shock. This coming from Madarao, who until recently had been trying outrageous methods in grabbing his attention and almost outraging his modesty? "Do I need to take your words seriously? Your...actions as of late clearly indicated otherwise," he questioned, not even believing a word of what Madarao had said. A flash of emotion flitted in his eyes, but it was gone too fast for Link to identify it. Madarao turned away from Link, but spoke,

"Something is going on here. I do not know what it is, but I know that it is dangerous...That is why you must leave. We are already prisoners here...So we have no point in escaping. But you...You still have the chance to leave. So you must go. I believe Walker's experimentation carries far greater significance than simply to test the effectiveness of that therapy. In the case that it really does have a larger meaning...At least you will not be here to get caught up in it."

"You..."

A fist came smashing into Madarao's face, catching the man completely off-guard. Link looked uncharacteristically feral, canines bared as if he was going to tear Madarao apart by his teeth. "What do you think you are doing? I am warning you that..." Madarao's words were cut off as Link grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into the wall. The blonde was completely unravelled; Madarao could tell. Otherwise Link would have usually not acted so...barbaric.

"Why is it always like this?! In the past, even now! Why is it always you and not me?!" Link snarled.

"...Howard."

Madarao gently pried Link's hand off his shirt. It was the first time he called Link by his first name. Link gave no adverse reaction, too swept up in his frustration to play the fool as he always had. "Why were you the one chosen to host the Akuma's power...To be a Third Exorcist...Why are you so foolish as to see to my well-being first?" Link demanded, though it was only his childish rambles and he expected no answer.

"...The reason has never changed. I wanted power to be able to protect those I love, be it blood-related like Tevak or not related, like you. If I did not have the Third Exorcist ability, I would not have been able to save you...During that moment in the orphanage. You were always focused on the Inspector...The least I could do was to protect you and your dreams. As long as I am here, all you have to do is to be happy, because I will bear all your misfortunes," Madarao whispered, looking into Link's eyes.

Link gritted his teeth and sharply turned away from Madarao. He could already feel the burning sensation of tears trying to escape him, but he did not want to cry. At least, not now. Not when Madarao was watching. "This is why I say that you're a fool, Madarao. What is it about me that appeals to you? Especially when you know my loyalty and devotion is only to the inspector..." Madarao's smile was bitter; not with resentment, but rather with hopeless amusement at himself.

"Because you are the small sliver of light which saved me, Howard...Ever since we endured hardships as children to become worthy members of Crow, it is only you who has inspired me to go on. Kiredori, Tevak, Tokusa...On the surface, we put the Church above all else. But inside, we all harboured some feelings of hate for being made into a Crow...Knowing that we have no other knowledge that would allow us survival on the outside world...That we are completely dependent and bound to the Church," Madarao, as he spoke, his eyes descended on Link with a gentleness that Link could not believe Madarao was capable of.

"If we were true Apostles, we would have embraced our destiny, but we were not. They became Third Exorcists in hopes that more tragedies...like us, would not be made. I did it in order to be able to protect what I treasured. But you, Link...You were the only one who truly believed in the goodness of serving the Church. You completely accepted the pain and suffering in order to become a Crow. Your faith in Inspector Lvellie was unbreakable. That purity of yours is what makes you special to me."

From a stranger's view, it would look like they were rehearsing lines for a confession scene, but Link felt the honesty in Madarao's words. Since they were children, Madarao had looked out for him, guided him and helped him to achieve his status as a Crow. He had always thought that it was simply a brotherly whim of Madarao's, since he had a sister in Crow as well. But in their past, Link felt terrified of the purpose Madarao may have given his life should he accept the man, especially when he firmly believed that the purpose of his life was to serve Lvellie. Furthermore, the Church condemned such unions. But now, he was no longer the same as he was in the past.

He was still absolutely terrified by the person known as Madarao, but he was even more afraid of the feelings choking his chest at the thought of the former Third Exorcist. Was it love? Link did not know; he had never dealt with love. For Lvellie, he had the utmost respect and complete devotion, but not love. And here was Madarao, who confessed to being enchanted by Link even as a child. What had he done to deserve this devotion? To that wavering Link, Madarao approached. He did not initiate any physical contact with the blonde, but spoke softly once more.

"I admit...Walker's words inspired me. It was not right of me to try to forcefully gain your affections with unscrupulous actions. I love you...And for that, I must do the noble deed. Go, Howard Link. To wherever you want to, as long as it is what you wish."

Without waiting for Link's answer, Madarao left his room. It hurt to tell Link of his feelings even while understanding that those emotions will never be answered. But Link would not be Link if he simply complied to Madarao's feelings, and for that the man loved Link's unchanging self.

Kanda hated himself right now. He hated how powerless he was to help Allen. He hated that he was, supposedly according to Alma and Lavi, not yet 'Awakened'. He hated the fact that he had hurt Allen, because he could not remember yet. But now he was. With that dream...No, that awful memory of hitting Allen because of something he said, though Kanda had no recollection yet of what Allen said that caused him to lash out; he was beginning to understand and accepted his memories with better clarity.

Even now, there were memories the Order and Alma...It all confused him, but if Kanda kept his mind on Allen, it was all right. The memory of Allen kept him rooted to sanity. Alma saw his best friend staring outside the window glumly, falling into fits of naps just to wake up from another memory. He had never seen this form of accelerated Awakening. It was as if Kanda himself was hastily unlocking everything within his mind.

"Are you okay, Yu?"

Kanda stared at the blue sky. It was beautiful, so clear, with clumps of clouds dotted about. How long since Allen saw it, truly seeing the sky without the interference of grill bars running over the few windows which allowed little sunlight in. His desire to see Allen grew stronger with each moment, and it was no longer the unusual feeling it used to be. He could say for certain now; all the feelings he had for Allen Walker were real and they were his.

"...I want to show moyashi this sky."

We are nearing the end!!! ..... NOT! XD Well, at first I did plan for it to end somewhere here...But a spark of inspiration allowed me to further extend this story. And everyone's suggestions for the omake chapters were so great, I've decided to mash everything into them, since everyone seems to want to see most, if not all pairings~