Disclaimer: D. Gray -Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.
The title this time is in Malay~ In English it means 'I Loved You Once'. If it's said in an inquiring tone, it'd mean 'Did I Ever Love You?' I think it's a suitable title for this chapter! The song I used this time is 'Soundless Voice' from Vocaloids~
Chapter 15: Pernahku Mencintaimu
Road woke up vomiting into the dustbin. The unease had churned her stomach since yesterday, and it resulted in her throwing up what little dinner she consumed. The day was bleak and terrible. Allen was going to undergo the therapy today...And Road could not shake off the uneasy feeling that something was horribly wrong. Getting up from her crouched position on the floor, Road made her way to the door.
It didn't budge. The girl frowned, and punched the key again. The electronic lock beeped red and refused to open. Some neon words were flashing on the small screen. Only then Road could read the words 'Heavy Security Mode On'. Suddenly, she realised that her feelings of fear were real. Road Kamelot was locked in her room.
* * *
"Where's Road?"
Allen was curious. It was rare that Road was not punctual in meeting them. Tyki looked sullen as he answered, "A doctor stopped by my room to tell me that they are keeping Road separate today for some tests." Why on this day? Tyki wanted to cuss but refrained from doing so, knowing such actions were only futile. There was no way for either to know that Road was kept a prisoner in her own room. Jasdevi was with them today, awaiting for Doug's arrival. Lavi himself had yet to reach.
"Allen...You really are going?" Devit asked, still not daring to believe that Allen had made that choice. Allen smiled at his ex-Noah siblings. He knew he was being selfish, making a choice that would hurt everyone he knew, but...He needed something to distract him from the pain. Maybe a brush with death would do that; maybe complete oblivion would be just as good. Had Allen known what was in store for him, he would not have considered death as his way out.
Lero had definitely not seen it coming. The boy had been doing his own things, waiting for Mimi to come as usual when someone suddenly grabbed him from behind. Lero screamed, but found a cloth tied around his mouth while his hands were bound with ropes. The hapless boy panicked and struggled, but no one was there to see Lero being taken away. He began to cry in fear, hoping someone would help him.
The boy couldn't see where he was being taken to, but eventually his kidnappers reached a room and he was tossed roughly to the hard floor. Lero whimpered when his head landed on the floor a little harder than it should. He quickly sat up and saw that he was not the only one in the room. Another man was in there, the new patient...Madarao, was it? Lero, finding his legs bound, did the next best thing.
He wriggled like a caterpillar on the floor until he was able to reach the man. Using his chin as a climbing pick, shoulders to change his moving direction, waist to balance himself and knees as his standing base, Lero skilfully clambered all over Madarao until his hands which were bound to his back reached the cloth bound around Madarao's lips and yanked it off. Madarao was greatly impressed by the efforts of the young boy.
"Now lean down, little one."
Lero laid flat on the floor, close enough to Madarao's hand. Madarao pulled the cloth binding Lero's lips and the boy gasped in relief. "W-Where is this, lero?!" Madarao shook his head. He looked around him. They seemed to be a normal room...A general diagnosis room, in fact. There was a desk, a screen and a bed in the room, but other than that, there was nothing.
"Did they kidnap you from your room as well?"
Lero nodded vigorously. Seeing how dark it was, Lero was on the verge of tears once more, wanting Timcanpy to come and rescue him."Why are we brought here, lero? What did Lero do?" Madarao shook his head, not knowing the answer. But he knew very well, somehow, that it had something to do with Allen Walker.
* * *
Lavi was excited. Tyki couldn't even tell why Lavi was in such a good mood, but the redhead promised to share with Tyki the cause of his joy later. Later when they rescued Allen and possibly everyone else, that is. In fact, he was so edgy he couldn't sit still. His eyes kept travelling to his watch, willing it to reach five thirty faster. He and Alma decided to keep it a secret from Kanda, as a surprise. He would be so happy once Allen was rescued. Still, it was surprising that everything seemed quieter than usual around the facility. There seemed to be a lot of patients preferring to stay in their rooms today; Road was apparently kept separately for some tests.
Even Madarao and Link were notably absent. Lavi held concern for Road, hoping those tests were harmless ones. He wouldn't put it past them to do illegal tests. Now that he thought of it...Why today, all of a sudden? A shock ran down his spine. Lavi was now visibly worried. Were they trying to reduce support around Allen when time came for Allen to undergo the experimental therapy? Lavi checked his watch once more; it was only three. He beckoned to Doug, who was with Jasdevi in the same room with them all.
Curious, Doug and Lavi separated themselves from the group to talk. Lavi leant down close to Doug's ear to whisper, "You know what they said about Road, right? I'm worried...Something's not right. I want to go check up on her alone. If...If there's really something wrong...Proceed without me. And look after Tyki for me." Doug's eyes widened, but he saw the determination in Lavi's eyes and couldn't find it in himself to deny his friend. He merely nodded, looking towards the group of patients they herded under their care. Johnny was already stationed nearby for the operation. Jasdevi were as usual, stuck very close to Allen, who was preoccupied with his current hobby, reading books upside down. Tyki was glaring at them, but he made no move. Lavi patted Doug's shoulder before heading out of the room.
"Where is Lavi going?"
Doug expected the question from Tyki, but not the frosty tone the man used with it. "He mentioned something about forgetting a report, so I suppose he's going to send it up," Doug lied. He didn't want Tyki to find out, or the man might fly into a rage. He already looked like he was going to bite off someone's head. Doug himself was worried about the possibilities. If Lavi was caught...There would be no choice but to go on before the staff noticed that Lavi was in league with them.
As for Lavi, the first place he needed to check was Road's room. He had to search for signs of struggle, if the girl was indeed taken away against her will. Nothing seemed out of place even as he approached the girl's door, but once he took a closer look, he realised something was dreadfully wrong. "...This is a lock-down system to shut down the rooms using remote control...Fuck, they installed this shit here? Road, are you in there?!" He waited for a moment, and then a muffled voice from beyond the door was heard. The door was thick, so it was hard to tell what the voice was saying, but Lavi was definitely sure that it was Road, trapped in her room.
"Wait, okay? I'll find a way to get you out!" Lavi promised, before he ran off to other rooms. These kind of doors cannot be pried open, for it will trigger an alarm, and Lavi did not want to pull attention to himself right now. His suspicions were confirmed; majority of the patients were locked down as well in their own rooms. Lavi deduced that the key to unlocking all doors laid with the security room. But how was he to go there...?
"So you were Awakened."
The voice startled Lavi, who turned around just in time to see a baton aimed at his head.
* * *
The clock was crawling to four, and Tyki knew something was wrong. He got up from his seat, heading to the door. Doug got up as well and asked hastily, "Where are you going?"
"To the restroom. A guy's gotta go when nature calls," Tyki scoffed, playing his role naturally. Leaving the room, Tyki made his way to the office. He would confirm Lavi's absence in the office before searching elsewhere. The doctors looked at him as if he was an alien, most just ignored him. "Excuse me, has Lavi been here?" Tyki questioned. The receptionist looked at him in disdain.
"He's gone home early."
Tyki was startled. His Lavi, gone early? Chrome eyes narrowed; this was the stupidest lie he had ever heard. Lavi may have reasons to leave early, but not on this day. On this day when Allen was facing this dangerous therapy, Lavi would not go anywhere. Sure, Lavi displayed rather strange behaviour throughout the day, but his worry for Allen did not change. Tyki leant down, staring at the receptionist with undisguised hate.
"Where is Lavi?"
The doctors looked at each other, before they stood up one by one. "This one has found out. We'll have to eliminate him," one of them murmured. Like robots, they all nodded their assent and turned to Tyki. Tyki, realising what was actually happening, did the smartest thing. He ran. Almost immediately, the whole group chased after him. Tyki cursed under his breath. He should have known! They targeted Allen when he was vulnerable. They already took Road under the pretext of tests. Lavi...They had Lavi in their hands, he was sure of it. He had to escape. He was alone; he was their only chance...!
All of a sudden, a hand abruptly shot out and pulled Tyki aside. The group of pursuers ran on without noticing Tyki was taken. The Portuguese was about to punch the person who pulled him when he saw it was Timcanpy. The man raised his finger in a shushing gesture, looking outside the pharmacy door. Timcanpy then gestured for Tyki to enter the pharmacy store. Slightly suspicious, Tyki complied, but he did not leave his back open.
"You idiot; now you've gone and alerted them..." Timcanpy chided, looking displeased.
"Why do you care?" Tyki muttered, glaring at him. His sister was in captivity, his brother was heading to his doom, and his lover was in danger! He didn't have the time! Timcanpy sighed, shaking his head. Men lost it easily when they were in love. "If I didn't care, I wouldn't be switching your medicine with sweets. If you move any further, you risk jeopardising everything."
"...Everything...?"
Timcanpy nodded, sitting on a box. It would take some time to explain so he might as well get comfortable. "For starters, Road is safe. She and many other patients are locked down in their own rooms. We have to wait for Lenalee to deactivate the security system to get them out. Secondly...They took Lavi to where Madarao and...Lero are. I suppose they're going to be hostages, in case any of us raised a hand against them. Lavi is obviously connected to you, that was why he was taken alive. Lero...It can't be me because they don't suspect me at all...It could be because he was related to the Noahs in his past life, so they are taking that into account as a preventative measure. Madarao...I have no clue, but Link may be the key."
"How do you know all these?" Tyki demanded.
"I rigged the security cameras in this area so that no one may see what's actually going on here, and I have created a live feed from the main security room. I hid it in the panel of the walls, so no one knows...Tyki, you stay here with me so that we can evacuate people when time comes," Timcanpy ordered, brushing the blonde bangs out of his eyes.
Tyki stood up, displeased at the order. "Why do I have to do as you say? I don't have the time to deal with you. Road may be safe for now, but Allen is still in danger. Are you telling me to just abandon Lavi? I can't do that, but I guess you don't get it, do you? It's not as if you..."
"Don't say that!" Timcanpy snapped, taking Tyki completely by surprise. Timcanpy closed a hand over his face, breathing deeply to calm himself down. He had been absolutely livid when he saw how they manhandled HIS Lero and tossed him to the ground like he was trash. The blonde would have gone to dish out justice if he had a choice, but he did not. He had to wait and do his duty, all for the sake of a future with Lero. And if that meant gritting his teeth and watch Lero being afraid, in captivity...He'd force himself to accept the bile in his throat. Timcanpy looked at Tyki straight in the eyes, his bright yellow eyes flashing in the semi-darkness of the store.
"...Do you know they've rigged bombs all over the building?"
Those words caused Tyki's heart to nearly stop beating. "Bombs...? They're planning to blow the whole place up?" Timcanpy nodded grimly. "...We still haven't been able to find out, but they are planning something with Allen. Once they are done with him...We believe they'll blow the place up to destroy all witnesses and evidence. That's why, Tyki...You must stay here and help me. You are saving Lavi this way too."
* * *
Alma looked on in worry at the sleeping form of Kanda. His friend had not woken up since the morning, but a few phrases and words which escaped him allowed Alma relief. At least Kanda was not waking up because he was in the process of retrieving his memories. He felt a pang in his heart, when he remembered how Kanda used to wake up suddenly from nightmares. Kanda moved slightly, catching Alma's attention. The young man froze at the sight of tears coming from the sleeping Japanese.
The battlefield was chaotic. I knew Lavi was already dead. But there was not yet a time for grief. Grief comes only after we win the war. I was busy fighting off the Akuma, when a sudden silence commanded the war-torn grounds.
'We're free...'
And like a wave, they all burst forth from their mechanical bodies, souls that have been captured, tied down, corrupted. And suddenly, everyone's Innocence dissolved into silver ashes. Everyone's...Except Mugen.
The war was over.
But where was moyashi?
I scoured the battlefield in search of the lover I ignored in favour of concentrating on this day, so that we would have a life together.
What I found was the death of my future.
My love, my fragile love...Broken.
'Moyashi!'
I cradled his limp body in my arms. Warmth was fading from him. He looked up weakly at me, as if not daring to believe he was truly seeing me.
'Yu...Why?'
Why, he asked? Was there any reason I needed?! He was fading, and I was powerless to do anything. In the minutes which mattered most, I have degraded myself into a common man.
'Moyashi, don't give up! Hold on, the medical team will come...'
Uttering irresponsible, hopeless words. Even moyashi understood the futility, but I refused to admit it. Not now, not when it was finally over. He coughed up even more blood. Desperate, helpless, I wanted to say the word he would have wanted me to say to him, so that he would remain in this world with me, even if a little while longer.
'Allen! I lo-...'
'Don't...Don't say it now...It'll only be empty words.'
But he refused to listen. And my love laid in my arms, dying. Slowly, his hand came up to my cheeks. The cold in his palm spread to my body.
'I'm sorry, Yu...I'm sleepy now...'
He smiled. Such a heartbreaking smile.
'Good night.'
Kanda sat up, making Alma jump in surprise to have his friend wake up suddenly like that. "Are you alright, Yu? You were crying in your sleep." Kanda gripped his head hard. The torrent of memories were violent and strong, but the more they came, the more he understood. Everything that surrounded him, Allen Walker and the strange relationship they shared. He now understood the full meaning of the searching look Allen always gave him.
His young lover had been waiting for him to return.
And with that, he finally realised...How much hurt he had caused Allen with his words. Kanda got up, grabbing Mugen and heading out the door. "W-Where are you going?!" Alma asked, hurrying after him. Kanda never stopped walking, prompting Alma to jog to keep up with Kanda's quick, precise pace. "I'm going to go to moyashi."
"Again?! Yu, you know that we said..." Alma was cut off when Kanda glared at him.
"He was crying!!"
"...What?"
"He was crying when he died! Moyashi...He didn't even let me tell him that I love him...And even smiled that stupid fake smile...! That's not my moyashi! My moyashi was proud, beautiful and strong...So why the hell did he die looking like he was the most lonely person in the world?!" Kanda snapped. His anger was growing, but it was all directed at himself. His question could be easily answered. Allen died with the thought that Kanda had abandoned him.
But he did no such thing!
He didn't care, consequences be damned. He was going to get his moyashi. He would apologize, no matter how many times it took until Allen would be satisfied. And finally, he would love Allen until there was no space left in the boy's heart for another person. With his Awakening, the knowledge that Allen had been imprisoned in the facility for ten years made Kanda even angrier. That the one he cared the most for had been abused like that was unforgivable!
"You've Awakened?! W-Wait, you can't go just like that!" Alma yelled, but his ringing cell phone distracted him. Kanda walked on, regardless of Alma. He appreciated Alma's concern, but right now Allen was his main worry. It didn't take long for Alma to suddenly reappear beside Kanda, looking a bit shocked. "On the other hand, let's go! We need to get to the institute a.s.a.p to stop them from doing that therapy!"
"What therapy?"
Alma paled, realising that none of them informed Kanda of it yet. They were afraid that Kanda would go berserk if he knew, but there would be no difference if he knew now. Kanda was Awakened, and he was like a beast going to defend its territory. So, with little hesitation, Alma told Kanda what had the institute offered Allen, and that Allen accepted. He was about to continue talking about their operation to save them, but Kanda slammed Alma into the wall, looking murderous.
"...Moyashi agreed to it...? Don't fucking joke with me! Why isn't anyone telling me anything?!"
"It's because you'll react like that, Yu! The last thing we want is you out of control! Now let's go and save them before it's too late! The operation was originally scheduled at 6pm, so in accordance we would interrupt at 5.30pm, but Tyki put them on the alert, and now they're starting prematurely, so we'll have to go all-out on our side too!" Alma exclaimed, pushing Kanda aside and jumping into his car.
Kanda slammed the door as hard as he could, but there was nothing he could do except urge Alma to go faster. Allen, agreeing to the illogical actions of the institute? It didn't make sense! But Kanda forgot one thing; being trapped in the same place for ten years changed people, and Allen was no different. Allen was subjected to their experiments for years on; there was no surprise that he didn't reject the proposal this time around. Silently, Kanda knew it was his fault. It was exactly like last time...When Allen fought recklessly and died.
"Damn it...You never made good choices when you're disturbed..."
* * *
Allen had been reading his book, but even he noticed the subtle tenseness within the room. Doug was distracted, the twins could tell. He was not talking as much as he usually did. The little peace they had was disrupted when a group of doctors entered the room. Surprised as they were, no one spoke at all. After looking around, one of them addressed Allen. "Walker, we have experienced...technical difficulties, so have no choice but to perform the therapy now. This way, if you please."
Allen was surprised, but he obediently got up to follow the doctors. "...See you guys later," he whispered, a small smile on his lips. Devit bit his lips, forcing himself to stay in his seat. If he had it his way, he would fight those doctors and get Allen back, but it was Allen who willingly chose to go. Something in his gut told him that Allen wasn't going to come back, and it made him cold. Jasdero nuzzled his cheek, understanding what his twin was feeling. Doug was pale as a sheet.
"Johnny...We'll have to shift to plan B. Jasdevi, I have a favour to ask of you both."
Johnny looked tense whereas the twins were surprised at the sudden severity in Doug's expression. "First, we'll make sure Johnny gets to the restroom safely. Then...We'll sneak onto the third floor and cause some havoc," Doug suggested, prompting confusion from his charges.
"Why?" Jasdero spoke for him and his brother.
Doug smiled. "To save everyone. I think something went wrong, that's why they proceeded with the therapy ahead of schedule. Johnny needs to get somewhere where he can get some important documents, and it is my job to distract people guarding the place...So will you help me?" Jasdero and Devit grinned at each other. Doug was always helping them, but they never expected him to go this far. This question didn't need much consideration. In fact, it didn't need any at all.
"Trouble is our middle name, Doug!"
In the darkness, Lavi's consciousness lingered. He felt something insistently shaking him. "...vi...Lavi...Lavi...!" Lavi was about to say "Five more minutes," before he remembered that he was clubbed in the head. The redhead immediately tried to sit up, but found himself unable to, as his wrists and ankles were bound. A mop of orange hair appeared in his vision. Lero wriggled under Lavi's lying body until Lavi's head was resting on the back of his neck. Satisfied, the boy began to lift his upper body.
Madarao lent a hand by biting onto the back of Lavi's collar and pulling him up. Soon enough, Lavi found himself in a sitting position. "Hey, that was great teamwork...Wait, now's not the time for that! What are you guys doing here?! Where the hell is this?!" Lero winced at the volume of Lavi's voice. Madarao was the only one who remained calm. Lavi looked indignant, while Lero looked as if he was about to cry at any moment.
"We're in a disused room, as you can see. I suppose you have been captured as well."
"Captured? Why you guys?"
"Because you are all of value," a third voice added.
Shocked at the unexpected guest, all three prisoners turned to the door. On the door, a panel was opened, enough to reveal a face. And that face was recognizable to both ex-Exorcists. A wave of iciness washed over Lavi. On one hand, he should have expected it. On the other hand, he never saw it coming. Inspector in the past life, Lvellie was currently observing them from beyond the door. "What do you plan to do with us?!" Lero exclaimed, glaring at the man.
"You, young boy, I keep because you may give me hints on the weaknesses of those Noah. That former Bookman..." Lvellie made a distasteful face, "Can be used to restrain that Noah, once we find him. As for Madarao...Hn, I wonder."
"Why are you doing this? What are you planning?" Lavi asked quietly. This man used to serve the Church, but if Lavi's deduction was not wrong, he was also the one who was forcing all the needless treatments on Allen. If Lvellie's appearance here was any indication, something was really going on. The man smiled; to Madarao, it was a disgusting smile. It was the expression of someone who saw them as lower than animals.
"Does the Bookman recall the experiments we have done on the relatives of Exorcists, so that we might find a compatible?" Lvellie's tone was light, as if he was talking about the weather. Lavi's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What does it have to do with this?"
"...I am looking for someone. However, she will not come. She can however, be lured out by someone who is synchronised with an Innocence. You died early, so you may not know, but all Innocence were destroyed after the end of the war, except two. One of them is Allen Walker's. So, in order to lure her...I found the Innocence. And now, I'll make Allen Walker synchronise with it, so that he serves as my bait."
Lero was momentarily confused. "You found the Innocence?"
"You motherfucker!"
It didn't take much for Madarao and Lavi to figure out what Lvellie meant. And Lavi was furious, no, there was no word suitable enough to describe his loathing of Lvellie now. The man had the gall to smirk, knowing the underlying message had been understood. Lavi struggled to his feet and hopped to the door, forcing Lvellie to lean back as he approached the open panel and snarled,
"You bastard...You dug up Allen's grave?! You defiled his resting place?!"
Lvellie was not bothered at all by Lavi's accusations. "What do you fear? An Innocence is better off being used than rotting in a grave. Do not worry, I have his bones...Or rather, the bones of him, you and someone else's disposed of properly. Some desperate family must have dug his grave once since there were the bones of another person tossed into his coffin as well. Be glad that I have at least that much mercy for your long-forgotten remains."
The conversation about the remains of his old body was surreal, but Lavi didn't care. He growled, slamming himself against the door. This monster before him dug out their graves, touched their bones, and dumped it God-knows-where! He didn't give a shit what happened, but Lvellie was his to kill! The matter that made Lavi most angry was strangely, the possibility that Kanda and Allen's bones may have been separated when they were disposed of. Lavi already knew the owner of the other bones, because Tyki had told him about his memories about Kanda before the Japanese died.
It was Kanda's own way of following Allen into the afterlife, and that Lvellie had the nerve to disturb their final resting place, destroying it even, filled Lavi with unspeakable rage. "When I get out of here, you're dead meat...I swear on behalf of everyone, you will suffer for what you've done!" Lavi shrieked like a provoked Harpy. Lvellie only smirked in return.
"Say what you want. You will not live for long anyway. Come, Link. We must leave."
Madarao, who had not reacted until now, looked up in shock when he heard Link's name being mentioned. At that moment, Link walked by the panel, without sparing even a glance for Madarao. Lavi, exhausted by his anger, sank to the ground. "S-So...We were all here...For so many years...A-All because he wanted an E-Exorcist? All because of his wish, we were i-imprisoned here...?" Lero stuttered, tears already choking his eyes. He was praying for Timcanpy to come save him.
Madarao suddenly chuckled out loud, but to Lero and Lavi, it sounded sad, desperate, and void of hope. "...I always knew he would choose the Inspector..." Madarao murmured. Lero observed the man a while. "T-Then, why is Madarao looking so hurt?" Madarao's head bent down, not looking up. But puddles of his tears were forming on the floor. Lavi's weary eyes had no tears to cry. His anger had consumed it all. He cursed Lvellie for causing such misery to everyone.
"Damn him...Damn him to hell..!"
* * *
Allen couldn't believe what he was hearing. He could barely believe who was standing before him. Link stared at Allen, hiding his thoughts very well. Link peered at Lvellie, and thought back on his choice when Lvellie approached him just yesterday
"I-Inspector...What is the meaning of this?"
Lvellie smiled, but Link felt intimidated. "I need your assistance, Inspector Link. I know that I could always depend on you for a job well done."
Link was, for the first time, scared in the presence of Lvellie. "But, why would you choose me to accompany you now?" The man before him looked into his eyes, and Link found himself unable to look away. "Because I know I can trust you. After the experiment with Allen Walker, I need someone I can put by my side. And there is no one better than you for the task. Do not worry about Madarao. I have him...restrained," Lvellie answered.
Link felt hesitant. In the back of his mind, Madarao's voice echoed, warning him against trusting Lvellie. But the man had never given him reason to doubt. Still...The plan about Allen Walker was too...Link shook his head. He had nowhere else, but Lvellie's side to be. He was never suited for anything else.
"...As you wish, sir."
Madarao was right, Link mused inwardly with a mellow sadness. Crows were given skills that tied them to their owners. Allen didn't pay attention to Link. He had no right to judge Link's choice, which had been obvious the moment the boy saw him enter with Lvellie. "...And what if I say no, Lvellie? What would you do?" Lvellie smirked at Allen's defiant answer, despite being strapped and tied down to the operating table.
"There is no choice for you, Allen Walker. Even if there is no willing synchronisation, we will use the electro-convulsive therapy to activate your body and brain cells to 'persuade' them to accept the Innocence. And...I believe I find it in your best interests to co-operate. Otherwise...Your friends might be in danger."
Allen's eyes narrowed at the threat, knowing Lvellie would not hesitate to go through with his words. Link was shocked. He thought the eletro-convulsive therapy was a cover, not used as a torture tool. "Sir, are you sure this is wise?" Lvellie nodded confidently and whispered into Link's ears. "As long as Walker becomes synchronised, nothing else matters. As it is...I already have the building ready to be detonated once we are finished here." Link suppressed the shiver rising up his spine. Suddenly he felt like such a fool for agreeing to go with Lvellie. Allen didn't answer Lvellie, but he began singing softly, as if trying to block out reality.
On the night
When silence envelops the town
The incessantly falling white
On my held up palm
Melting the moment it touches
A fleeting fragment
'Madarao...I'm sorry...I made the wrong choice.'
Link bowed to Lvellie. "I will go check on the pursuit for Tyki Mikk." As Link turned to leave, he could feel the gaze of silver eyes falling heavily on his back. Link was determined now to do what he should have done. He left Allen alone in the presence of his enemies.
Piling up soundlessly
Gathering up light
You laughed
'But never at me...'
The boy felt foolish now. Regardless of who and how, he should be happy that Kanda still had the emotions in him which allowed him to smile and laugh. He should not have been jealous...Even if he still yearned for Kanda. Ah, how he would have liked to see Kanda for the last time...
What does it sound like now?
Even if I answered
You can no longer hear any thing
Tell me you're in pain
Tell me you're lonely
I'll come for you
No matter where you are...
'Please, tell me that I'm not alone in this suffering...'
Allen stared passively at the Innocence. His Crown Clown that they acquired by digging up his grave, and taking it from his rotting bones. It glimmered a gentle green, but Allen no longer found a reason to fight with it. Akuma were gone, he needed his Innocence no more. The lives of those dear to him were at stake, though. He would not fight their attempt of synchronisation, but he would not fully accept it either. He did not find it in his heart to accept. Perhaps if he died mid-experiment, it would foil their plans.
Don't depart to anywhere
Don't leave me...We were always
Two persons as one, weren't we...?
But it was too late, wasn't it? Kanda was gone. Allen knew there was no other reason for him to keep on living. The doctors didn't care about the strange 'symptoms' that Allen was displaying. As long as he didn't fight against their administration then it was fine with them. The boy lay like a lifeless doll on the operating table, singing that song. Allen strained to focus only on the song, hoping to lose himself in the words rather than in the pain in store for him.
You, who is disappearing
Along with the thickly falling snow
I can do nothing but embrace you
If it can be granted then just once more
I want to hear your voice
Once more, just once...
Call me...
The outer door was locked when they arrived. Alma tried to break the door open to no avail. "Stand back, Alma," Kanda suddenly spoke. This door stood between him and his moyashi. And anything that did would be cut down. The Japanese stared at the katana in his hand. For so many years Mugen lay silent, and once he loathed the Innocence for causing him pain. But now, it was the power he needed to save Allen. Mugen would surely understand his desire.
"Mugen...Activate."
Hollow and wandering
The single drop
Reflected in these eyes
The gray-coloured world
Frozen as it always was
Only the snow gently falling
'Lavi...Please be safe.'
Tyki was pacing the store, even as Timcanpy was pulling out the screen from a panel of the wall. The blonde was working on tweaking his makeshift live feed. If they had heard right, Allen's experiment had begun already. Timcanpy waved over to Tyki. The ex-Noah hurried over to his side. Timcanpy handed him something that looked like an earpiece.
"Link is on the move...I think he's going to help Lavi to escape. Take this. I'll be your map and direct you to them so that you won't get caught. Go on, Tyki. It's your chance to save Lavi," Timcanpy ordered. Tyki paused. "...Will you be alright?"
"...Look after Lero for me."
It's becoming colder
That voice which will not return
Unforgivable even, to melt into one another
Listen to my voice, laugh again...
Even the tears are completely dried up
Unable to melt you
Mugen gleamed hot white, comfortable in the grip of its conformer once more. Alma was following behind Kanda, slightly in awe at the synchronisation and slightly afraid because Kanda looked very likely to cut down anything, human included. A soft voice was drifting throughout the building. It was humming a song, the words almost barely heard. Kanda's grip on Mugen tightened. His moyashi was calling.
He sounded so sad, his song was his cry. Kanda raced through the halls, in search of the voice's source. He wanted to hear no more sorrow from Allen. Kanda bit his lips down, flashes of Allen's smile in his mind. He used to think it was stupid of Allen to smile so much, especially when more than half the time it was fake. But right now, the Japanese wanted nothing more than to see his lover smile.
"There's the intruder!"
Kanda growled when he saw the security guards going towards him. Alma gasped when Kanda raised Mugen. "Y-Yu, you're not going to kill them are you?!" Kanda's glance never left its target.
"I won't kill them...Underworld Insects, First Illusion!"
But it didn't mean he wouldn't hurt them. No one was going to stop him from accomplishing his mission.
If it can be granted then let this voice
Steal everything
And give it all to my beloved
If I am to be left all alone
In a world without you
Just like this...Together...
I will rot away with you
The jolts made him annoyingly lucid, but Allen refused to cry out from the electric shocks. He would not give them the satisfaction of hearing him in pain. The doctors around him now approached with the Innocence. Through dazed eyes, Allen lazily observed the Innocence attempting to fuse with his arm. He could sense the raw power trying to bury itself in his skin, and sudden human fear overtook him; instinctively causing Allen to reject the Innocence.
As if to punish Allen for pushing it away, a pulse of power burst from the Innocence. The pain reverberated throughout his body, causing the white-haired boy to cough out blood. Irritated by Allen's subtle refusal to co-operate, the doctors ran another round of the treatment, hoping to break the boy down enough to get the Innocence fused. Even though he was on the verge of hyperventilating, Allen only sang louder to drown out everything else. His own voice sounded almost foreign, but at least it was his own, preventing the invasions of other sounds, even the keening cry of the Innocence.
On another level, Lavi was working with Madarao and Lero to loosen their bonds and try to find an escape route. Despite the fear, Lero couldn't help but be amazed by the gusto in which Lavi used his teeth to rip and pull at the bonds around Madarao's wrists. It was a stroke of luck that they didn't use handcuffs, but perhaps that was due to handcuffs being easier to get out off. The young boy cheered when Lavi triumphantly resurfaced with the wrangled bonds clamped between his teeth.
Madarao undid the knots around his ankles quickly before moving to release Lavi and Lero of their bindings. Allen's voice was haunting, drifting through the air ventilation systems to reach the room in which they were captured. Lavi was determined to get the hell out of there and save Allen. The beeping sounds of the door unlocking attracted the trio's attention. Lero immediately hid behind Madarao, who stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Lavi, not knowing what to expect.
Blonde hair flickered before their visions momentarily before they realised it was Link who unlocked the door to their prison. Link stared at them for a while, before shaking his head as if to snap himself out of a daze. "Come on, we have to hurry. The situation grows dangerous by the minute," he ordered, but Lavi still had his suspicions.
"How can we trust you? You were with that bastard just now."
"Because..."
"Lavi!"
Another voice entered the fray; one which Lavi was so happy to hear. "Tyki!" The redhead jumped into Tyki's arms, who held him tight, as if afraid he would lose Lavi again. But Tyki remembered his mission and quickly addressed the others, "Wait, we need to evacuate patients! This whole place is rigged with bombs! Link, Madarao, you both better get to the pharmacy to see Timcanpy. He can tell you what to do. Lero, you better follow..."
"Lero will go with you."
Tyki was surprised. "But Lero, we're going to rescue Allen. I can't risk your life. I'm sure Timcanpy..." Once again, Tyki was cut off by Lero, who calmly answered, "No, Lero will go with Tyki and Lavi." There was no light in his tawny orange eyes.
'Timcanpy...Liar.'
I love you
Even that I never was able to say
Forever sealed away
With the world I had with you
Even if I scream it will never reach
Your voice is no longer...here
Lenalee had heard the brief report from Timcanpy, but she could not believe her own eyes once she infiltrated the security room. With her martial ability, she was more than sufficient to deal with the weak forces in charge of the security room. Obviously, they did not expect an invasion on the security room. Lenalee trembled in indignant anger at the sight she saw. She thought in her new life, it would be wonderful. There would be no more suffering for her or her loved ones; she was even reunited with her brother in her new life.
But this institute, and what it tried to do the Walker Syndrome patients, was unforgivable. Even now, her Road was sitting on the floor listlessly facing the door, her lips moving in time with the song which drifted through the ventilation shafts to reach even her. Road Kamelot...Once Lenalee thought she would never be able to understand or like the Noah, but now there was nothing but affection for the younger girl. Even on her first day as Road's overseer, the girl had attached herself to Lenalee immediately.
Lenalee remembered her promise to Road clearly; that Road would not be reborn to live a life of pain. Right now, she would fulfil that promise. Another screen caught her attention as she released all the patients locked down in their rooms. Smalls red lights flickering...With numbers counting down from fourteen, fifty nine, fifty eight...Her eyes widened.
* * *
Allen could no longer tell if he was still attached to his body or not. He felt so distant from reality, with only pain anchoring him to it. Each time they tried to put the Innocence to his arm, the rejection would happen. The doctors were at a loss on what to do. Lvellie finally interrupted the process, looking at Allen with barely hidden contempt. "Enough. The explosives have been set. Take the boy. We will proceed elsewhere." Allen's vision swam as it looked at Lvellie's retreating back, barely registering those words. But slowly, clarity came to Allen.
Explosives...?
They were planning to blow the whole place up? What was going to happen to everyone else? Did he possibly plan to have them all die here? Three doctors remained in the operating room, one of them handling the Innocence while the two others worked to remove the straps tying Allen to the operating table to move him to their transportation. As they lifted Allen from the table, the Innocence suddenly glowed brightly.
Oh snow which falls incessantly, please
Do not stop falling and so
As you fall, take everything away
The whole fleeting life of that voice
Erase it all
Into white...
Road had heard the song, and sang along with Allen to herself because she knew every word of it. As her voice reached the end of the song, there was a blood-curdling shriek echoing from the ventilation shaft. She stood up once more, alerted by the sound. It was Allen, she was sure of it. At the same moment, the door opened automatically. There was no time to think why; Road was already dashing out of the door.
No matter what, she would save Allen.
Her progress, however, was halted by the presence of Doug and Jasdevi. "Road?! You're free?!" Doug exclaimed in wonder, as he had been too busy distracting and fighting the guards to even think about the progress of the mission, though they were dispersing quickly...The bombs must be about to be started soon. Road didn't want to stop.
"Where is Allen?! We have to go save him!"
"Road, wait..." A shrill ringing tone went off, causing Doug to fumble about in his pocket for his cell phone. "Hello?! Timcanpy...What?! Oh no...They're gone? I understand!" Doug hastily stuffed his cell phone back into his pocket. "Jasdevi, Road, I need your help! There are bombs rigged in the building and it's already been activated. We have to go help the other patients escape!"
Road stubbornly shook her head. "No, I want to go help Allen!"
Doug's hands gently clasped her shoulders. "Road...I understand your feelings. But at times like this, we must do what only we can accomplish. If you are worried, Tyki and Lavi are already on their way to help Allen. What we can do now is to save those who still do not know what is going on. So, will you help us, Road?"
Road bit her lips, but Doug's words contained truth. After what seemed like a long while, she nodded. If they escaped, they may finally lead a normal life. And maybe...She could live with Lenalee.
* * *
Kanda could feel his heart turn cold when the lilt of his lover's voice abruptly stopped in a scream. He prayed, to any God who may listen, that Allen would not be taken from him again. Turning around the corner, Kanda and Alma tumbled into three other people, causing a large heap on the floor. One muffled voice came out from the bottom of the pile, groaning, "What happened...? I feel like I was ploughed down by a truck..."
Disentangling their limbs, the five strangers got to look at each other. Lero automatically took a step back at the sight of Mugen. Lavi gasped, Alma pointed, Tyki glared and Kanda stood up. "Yu, what are you doing here?!"
"Save the questions for later, Lavi! Where is moyashi?!" Kanda demanded, ignoring Lavi's question in favour of finding Allen's location.
"...He's in the operating room just ahead. As to why you are here...I will question it after this," Tyki muttered, feeling the hostility that still lurked between them. Kanda stared at Tyki for a moment and nodded tersely. He finally understood Tyki's cause of worry for Allen and the ex-Noah's recent dislike for him after all.
The quintet proceeded to the operating theatre, only to find the door locked. Growling at another useless obstacle, Kanda easily sliced the door down with Mugen. Both Lavi and Tyki were shocked, but they were immediately distracted by the scene inside. Allen was lying unconscious on the operating table, with three doctors all sprawled on the floor, also unconscious. Kanda hurried to check on Allen. "Moyashi...?" Cradling Allen's head gently with his arm, he lightly tapped Allen's cheeks, but the boy showed no response.
The young man's heart clenched when he saw the traces of dried blood trailing from Allen's lips and pressed his ear to his chest, just to reassure himself that Allen's heart was still beating. The slow but steady rhythm put Kanda slightly at ease. Alma interrupted when he announced the latest update from his team mates, "The bombs are set, we have to get out of here now!" Lavi let out a string of curses which would have amused Kanda if not for the current state of affairs, and shouldered one of the unconscious doctors. He was not that heartless to let them die here.
With Tyki and Alma securing the two other doctors, the party rushed their way down the staircase, thanking the fact that the institute only had three floors, saving their time in getting out of the place. When they left the building, they could already see a large group of people gathered a distance away from the building. Road had run forward towards Allen when she saw them coming out from the building, but Kanda held Allen against himself possessively. He had retrieved the one most important to him, and he wasn't about to let go anytime soon.
"...K-Kanda...?"
The croaky voice startled Kanda. Allen's eyes were barely open, the lights in his silver irises dying. He looked disbelieving, as if he could not imagine Kanda being here. What happened? He only remembered being engulfed in a white light, and the cold steel pressing into his back, and thinking if this was the last sensation he would remember before he died.
"Moyashi?! Can you hear me?" Kanda asked, brushing the silvery strands out of Allen's face.
His consciousness was wavering, confusion preyed on his senses. He felt as if he was on fire, and wondered if this was a dream, or his last memory being relived on the verge of death. Allen tried to lift his hand, but his strength failed him if not for Kanda taking his barely outstretched hand, gently laying kisses on the back of his palm. "Kanda...It's getting dark..." Allen's words ripped Kanda's rationality into bits and pieces. It was rather dark outside, but Kanda knew that was not what Allen meant.
"Don't give up on me, moyashi! You are going to be fine!" Kanda barked, unable to control his spiralling self-control and raging panic. Only then he realised that Allen's body was burning up, and it seemed that even Link noticed something wrong. He pressed a hand on Allen's forehead, eyes narrowing at his discovery. "His body is going into overheat. They must have used too many drugs on him. Everyone, get me water! We need to keep his temperature under control!"
A loud explosion startled everyone, as the institution burst into flames, debris falling about in chunks, though they stayed far enough to avoid them. Kanda did not even hear it; he was occupied with Allen, who seemed to be closing his eyes. "Wake up, moyashi! Don't do this to me, Allen! I..."
"Please...don't say it..." Allen's face scrunched up in pain, but not a physical one. "I said it before...It'll mean nothing..."
"I love you, Allen. I don't care why you don't want me to say it, I will say it until you get it. I love you! So don't leave..." Kanda whispered, determined not to give in this time. In their previous life, he had been taken by despair and simply obeyed Allen's request, but not this time. He was going to anchor Allen to him, no matter how selfish that sounded. Allen smiled, a miserable yet somewhat fulfilled smile.
"You say that...Yet you were the first to leave me...I'm sorry, Yu...I'm sleepy now..."
The sudden deja-vu shook the man.
"Moyashi...?"
Allen's hand slowly fell limp in his grip.
"Good night."
Enjoy the cliffhanger!