Disclaimer: D. Gray - Man is owned by Hoshino Katsura. And No 6 is owned by Asano Atsuko!

Chapter Twenty-One: Falling Apart

It was well over a month and half ever since they started their normal lives, and Lenalee thought the former patients adjusted well to their environment. However, Road's recent behaviour had her worried. The young girl had not yet done anything that particularly merited questioning her brother, but Lenalee somehow sensed that there was something 'off' with Road. It was common of course, for Road to be clingy and desirous of skin contact, but now it seemed that Road actively STALKED her.

The first time, she caught the girl observing her as she left class. During then, Lenalee didn't put too much thought to it since Road's classes were finished for the day and the girl had come forward to greet her. A little after that, Lenalee found Road watching her when her classes were supposedly still going on. Questioning Allen later, she discovered that Road had been cutting classes just to see her. Confrontation had been pretty much useless since Road ran whenever she tried to find her.

Road pretty much continued to observe her, but she no longer approached like she usually did. The usually knowing and bright semi-smirk on Road's expression had faded into one of sharp, PURE obsessed concentration on Lenalee. This couldn't go on, she had to consult her brother right after class. "Hey, Lenalee! You look absent-minded today! Here, you actually forgot your notes." The abrupt call startled her, but it was only one of her classmates, who handed her the notes she had forgotten.

"Thanks. I just had a lot on my mind today," Lenalee answered, gratefully accepting the notes.

"Hey, no worries. Everyone has off days too," her classmate answered and lightly tapped her shoulder. All of a sudden, a black blur appeared before Lenalee and smacked that hand off. Road was scowling at the surprised girl, yelling, "Don't touch Lenalee!"

That did it.

"Road, what are you doing? I'm sorry, she isn't usually like this," Lenalee hurriedly apologised before dragging Road away to a quieter place. Road had followed her obediently, her violet eyes boring holes into the back of Lenalee's head. Finally reaching a quiet corner of the campus grounds, Lenalee confronted the younger girl. "Road, what is wrong? No, don't run. This time, you have to tell me. I'm not letting you leave until you do," Lenalee sternly commanded.

As if she had run out of strength, Road stared blankly at her. Slowly, both her hands reached out to cup Lenalee's cheeks. Lenalee could feel how calm Road was from her unwavering touch, but that only unnerved her more. And gently, Road's thumbs rubbed over her skin, the girl's eyes never breaking its grasp on Lenalee's own.

"Lenalee...You're mine. Mine...No one else can touch you, no one else can have you. I've waited for so long...Are you really here? Am I safe now? Each time I watch you...I'm afraid you'll disappear...It's not a dream, is it?" Road slowly murmured, looking rather sad and curious.

Lenalee understood by those words why Road acted so strangely. She reached around Road and held her close, crying tears of shame, wondering why she had not noticed all this while. Remorse filled her, overflowing like a glass too full. "It's alright now. I am here, and I won't leave. Come, Road...It's time we talked to someone about this..." Lenalee gently held Road's hand and lead her to Komui's office. Her brother would surely have a solution.

"Damn it, stop this!"

A pillow landed in Tyki's face following the exclamation. Lavi was fuming at the older man. He had suspected something was not right with Tyki, but this really was overboard. As a teacher, Tyki was allowed boarding in the staff wing of the Black Order University, so he had a room to himself. Lavi was a student and naturally stayed in a different part of the facility.

Recently though, Tyki had taken to requesting that Lavi stay with him. At first, Lavi indulged him and stayed for a night or so. He did miss his lover after all, but it wouldn't do for their reputations if a student was found lingering a teacher's quarters. As much as Lavi loved Tyki, he wanted to be discreet about it in public places. That was when trouble began.

Tyki was essentially becoming too attached, refusing to be left alone in his room. He would even wander to Lavi's dorm room. This incident coincided with another. For reasons he did not explain, Allen asked Kanda to momentarily trade rooms with him, resulting in the room arrangement being him and Allen while Kanda bunked with Alma. When Tyki came intruding their room, Allen merely gave him a strange smile and encouraged Lavi to leave with Tyki, or risk Tyki outraging his modesty before the white-haired teen.

Needless to say, Lavi had to stay in Tyki's for the week. Tyki hadn't done anything lecherous; in fact the man merely held him as he slept during the nights. But it escalated quickly. Even during the day Tyki wanted to cling to him, which was seriously going to create rumours if Lavi wasn't quick-thinking enough. This morning, enough was enough.

Tyki actually tried to stop him from leaving.

The man in question merely gave him a sad, confused look, stirring the feeling of guilt in Lavi's chest, but the redhead quickly shook it off. He would get to the bottom of this right now, or it'd never be solved. "I was just...lonely. Every day, I get worried when I think I'll wake up to a different tomorrow. You know...A tomorrow without you, with me still stuck in the institute. Day after day of waiting...I just wanted proof that this is all real. That you're really with me. But...I guess I was going a bit too far. Sorry..."

Lavi was speechless even as Tyki got up to leave. "No, wait, Tyki!" Lavi immediately launched himself at the man. Tyki paused in his steps, but his downcast eyes did not rise to meet Lavi's. Lavi wanted to beat himself up for not noticing that something was wrong with Tyki. He should have noticed it the moment Tyki wanted to stay close to him. The man was insecure and scared, but it was clashing with his previous behaviour. Had something happened to Tyki to threaten his sense of security? The redhead decided that this was out of his hand.

"We need to talk to Komui tomorrow."

While these two finally settled down in the night, one of them was wandering the halls still. Allen had been undergoing a strange phase of withdrawal. Unlike Road and Tyki, Allen had not grown clingy or possessive of Kanda. In fact, with Kanda and Alma bunking in the same room and Lavi gone with Tyki, Allen was alone for most times. Perhaps it was due to Allen's long confinement; he had recognised the signs of his own abnormality before he spiralled out of control.

The reason he asked for the room switch was precisely for that, he could not stay close to Kanda. He had noticed the strangeness in him when he discovered the black feelings that reared its ugly head when he had been staying by Kanda's side. Allen had felt threatened when he saw anyone approach Kanda casually, even though he knew they meant nothing. But the more time Allen spent with Kanda, the uglier those feelings grew.

And Allen suddenly realised; there was something wrong with him. And it was centred on Kanda, so the logical choice was that he had to get away before he hurt Kanda. Allen did not quite know yet how to deal with his problem, but he was resolved to look at it objectively and take it one step at a time. Until then, he had to maintain distance with Kanda to protect the young man from himself.

Recently on nights he could not sleep, he would wander out to the open courtyard and enjoy the chilly night breeze. The sting of the coolness kept his mind sharp, and Allen could calm his thoughts better. He didn't notice that another person stood just right behind him.

"Sion…"

Surprised by the sudden voice, Allen turned around though it was not his name that was called. He stood still for a moment, shocked. At first glance he almost thought Kanda was looking back at him, but the intense silver eyes that stared into his own told him that it was obviously a different person. This person had his hair tied up as well, but it was definitely shorter than Kanda's elegant ponytail. Even he seemed mildly surprised at Allen.

"I'm sorry, I got the wrong person."

"No, not at all. Although, I wasn't aware that there were people I could be mistaken for. I mean, with features like mine, it's hard to mistake me for someone," Allen answered easily, sensing slight relief that his dark feelings did not stir at a face that was similar to Kanda's. The teen opposite him paused for a while, observing Allen's features. Then, a snarky smile crossed his lips, but it did not mar the handsome beauty.

"It's rare to find someone silly enough like him to walk in the night when it's cold after all."

"That so? What about you, then?"

Allen's comment had won when it left the other speechless. But then the other suddenly started laughing. Allen was startled, but he too was drawn by the laughter and began chuckling quietly. When their voices had finally subsided, Allen held his hand out in a friendly gesture.

"I'm Allen Walker. You?"

"…Just call me Nezumi."

The teen who introduced himself as Nezumi briefly shook Allen's hand before withdrawing his into his pockets once more. The night is chilly after all, but both were dressed comfortably warm enough. It was quite an unusual feeling, as Nezumi had supposedly confused Allen with someone he knew, and Allen was thinking that he looked rather like Kanda. That quiet moment however was interrupted when a familiar voice called out,

"Moyashi!"

As the teen expected, Kanda was stalking towards them while wearing that incredibly fearsome frown of his. However he stopped short in surprise when Nezumi's face came clearly into view. Nezumi too, blinked in return, coming face to face with someone who could, with one glance, be mistaken with him. Noticing both parties' confusion, Allen broke out into chuckles once more, prompting dual discontented stares.

"What's so amusing?"

Even their questions were identical. Unable to hold back any longer, Allen started guffawing like he couldn't help it. Kanda and Nezumi looked at each other before staring at Allen, behaving most unusually. "What is wrong with you, moyashi?" Kanda demanded, finally breaking Allen out of his fit of laughter. The white-haired teen wiped away the tears that came with the laugh, calming himself first.

"I'm sorry, but it's just that…Both of you looked so surprised at seeing each other, then asking me the same question, and making the same expression again…It was priceless. By the way Nezumi, this is Kanda Yu. Yu, this is Nezumi. We just met," Allen introduced each to the other, trying to gauge their reaction to knowing someone who looked like themselves. Nezumi smirked at Kanda, casually commenting, "I don't think he's a friendly one."

"Oh yes, he's quite nasty to strangers. Until you get to know him better of course, but he still remains a jerk mostly," Allen's prompt agreement left Kanda scowling and Nezumi laughing at the blunt truth in which Allen spoke with. Kanda stalked up to Allen's side, snatching his wrist.

"Don't make me do something to embarrass you, moyashi! What the hell are you doing out here at this time?"

And then Allen suddenly remembered why he had been distancing himself from Kanda. But that black feeling was still slumbering in the depths of his chest, nothing to instigate it at the moment. Nezumi watched them quietly, before shaking his head. "If it's a lover's spat you guys are having, I'll be leaving."

"Right, see you around Nezumi!" Allen answered in return, but was immediately pulled back into the current situation when Kanda tugged almost painfully at his hand. With Nezumi gone, Kanda was free to say what was on his mind. "You're hiding something from me, moyashi. First you want to bunk with Lavi. Then I find out the rabbit's been hounded by Tyki! And you're avoiding me! You better tell me what's wrong before I force it out of you!"

Kanda looked angry; he sounded angry, but he wasn't angry. Not to Allen, at least. His lover was worried, concerned for Allen's wellbeing, and anxious to know what was bothering the teen that he could not tell Kanda. Such expression only increased Allen's affection for his beloved. With Kanda blatantly asking for the truth, Allen simply decided that it was best to tell him the truth.

"Yu, I think something's not quite right with me."

It was by these three separate events that led the same three couple into one Komui Lee's office. When Lenalee and Lavi told their stories, Kanda was surprised, but he kept it well-hidden behind his poker face. Road and Tyki's course of action sounded completely more drastic compared to Allen's docile 'isolate and wait' approach. Of course, Allen had been aware of what he experienced, so that made a big difference.

"It's a slightly different form of acute stress reaction. They may not look it, but Allen, Tyki and Road have suffered confinement for almost a decade. In Allen's case, he did. On the outside, they seem to be well-kept and protected. They can go to classes and play games to entertain themselves in the facility, right? But that sort of stress-relief activity is nothing compared to the stress placed upon them during their confinement. They themselves are not truly aware of the trauma due to the fact that they're already numb to it, especially those who were exposed long-term, meaning these three."

Komui's explanation made a lot of sense, but it didn't quite explain how it related to the outbursts of possessiveness. When Lavi questioned the man about it, Komui nodded thoughtfully.

"It's because of their trauma and subsequent release. In their trauma, they suffered the extreme side of depression or anger, depending on their case. But after they were released, they must be happy for most times. Imagine after a while, you realise the polarity between the two extremes. It's quite unreasonable to be able jump from one end to the other in one leap, isn't it? Precisely because it happened, they start doubting themselves due to their trauma, and seek constant attachment and acknowledgement from their focus points to be able to rationalise their positive feelings. I don't think I have to elaborate on that one," Komui explained, watching Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda pointedly.

"I'm sorry, Road…I thought as soon as we rescued you, it'd be over…" Lenalee apologised profusely and held the younger girl close. Road kept quiet, and snuggled closer to her love. Lavi was about to say something, but Tyki placed a finger upon his lips. "I don't need apologies, Lavi. If anything, I should be the one to apologise for all my irrational requests. All I ask is that you continue to love me despite my failings."

"Of course I love you! I'd be crazy not to! Tyki…I need you," Lavi murmured, hugging the taller man. He did not feel quite deserving of Tyki's feelings, but he loved Tyki, and he would be there for his lover no matter what. Allen and Kanda were in a most peculiar predicament, as nothing extreme had happened between them. In fact, Allen kept himself most rigidly in control. But that did not please Kanda.

If anything, it annoyed him. Allen's superb self-management came from one thing; his prolonged stay in the facility trained Allen not to show his true feelings. If Allen did, it was going to be life-threatening. But his life in the facility was over; Kanda hadn't realised that Allen was still dictated by that dark history in ways he had not seen, until now. Kanda felt himself dealt a blow; that Allen continued his way of self-control only seemed to point out Kanda's poor reliability as his lover.

It wasn't as if Kanda blamed Allen for it; such a hard habit takes time to change, but seeing it and understanding it made Kanda felt the severity of it all the more. Kanda wanted Allen to depend on him more; he wanted Allen to allow himself weakness before him. Okay, when Kanda said he hated weak people, it was true. He still hates weak people, especially those who can't stop complaining.

But it's different when it's about Allen. It was not about being weak, it was about Allen trusting Kanda enough to be vulnerable before him. And Allen couldn't do it, which made Kanda irritated.

"What can we do about this, Komui?" Lavi asked, wondering how in the world they were going to help Tyki, Allen and Road WITHOUT sending them to a psychiatrist. God knows that would only worsen their hidden trauma. Komui smiled in response, glad to have an answer. Or rather, glad to obtain an answer from observing a certain someone else.

"Well, what you have to do is get to know your partner better. Know their past, understand how they grew, and fill the gaps between the extremes. Lero is one very successful example, or should I say, a very exemplary self-cure."

"Lero?" Allen echoed in surprise. Now that Komui mentioned it, Lero, who was confined for about the same time as Tyki, had not shown any adverse reactions as far as he recalled. Komui nodded with a grin, proceeding to explain just why Lero was the answer to their troubles.

"You see, Lero and Timcanpy started off knowing how the other was doing. They talked about their pasts, how they came to this present in this life, how Timcanpy lived until he joined the facility as a doctor, and how Lero was a orphan being sent from house to house until he was taken to the facility. Lero, being the shy and simple boy that he is, was not aware of the polarity of his emotions. That is because he had no extremes. I mean, have you seen how angry he had gotten at Timcanpy? I believe he was also sad at one point, and he did feel utter annoyance at Timcanpy for being awfully touchy-feely. In between feeling completely depressed and completely happy, Lero had filled the gap with various other emotions he experienced with and without Timcanpy. That's why he's just fine."

"So it's up to us now…Come, Road. We'll go bake cookies together," Lenalee patted Road's head lovingly and the two girls went out of the office. Lavi and Tyki were quiet, but they gave each other a reassuring smile and left the office together. Kanda however, gave Allen an annoyed glance to which Allen answered with a confused gaze. The Japanese snorted and pulled Allen out of the office. Neither stopped until they reached their room. Or rather, Kanda's room. Lavi had agreed to permanently exchange with Allen, so now the redhead was sharing dorm with Alma.

"There, talk!"

"Talk what?"

Allen was bewildered. Kanda had been saying close to nothing, and now he was demanding Allen to talk? His lover however, was not happy to hear such response. Kanda didn't want Allen to avoid issues with him, although Allen was truly surprised rather than avoiding the talk initially.

"You heard what Komui said. I want to hear about your past."

It was not just about knowing Allen further. To Kanda, it was asking to be accepted by Allen. Few know of Allen's past, and if there were those who do, they were the very patients who spent time in confinement along with the boy. Even so, the one closest in years was Road, and she had spent seven years. What of Allen's first three years then? Was there anyone who knew? But Allen turned on a rigid expression and shook his head.

"There is nothing to say…Like you have known, I've been in an orphanage until five, before I was taken to the facility. That's all there is to it."

The denial unexpectedly hurt. But the Japanese understood; the hurt just proved how much he actually cares for Allen, and it made him more determined than ever to get the truth. It was the only way Kanda knew to avoid past mistakes; when he used to abuse Allen with horrible words, especially during the time he helped Kanda understand Alma's intentions.

Even before they had gotten together, Kanda had once spoken cruel words to Allen's face, accusing him for being a Noah despite being part of the Order, blaming him for everything. Yet the boy had sent him off with a gentle smile, even while possibly understanding they might never see each other again. When he returned and found out that Allen left, Kanda had been the one most determined to find Allen.

He had returned then, just for Allen. Kanda wanted to repay his debt to Allen, but it had become something more along the way and they became lovers. But even then, Allen had kept quiet about the Fourteenth, until almost the end. And Kanda lost his composure, despite all that he had felt. It was almost no wonder that Allen would not trust Kanda with certain things. Yes, Allen's refusal to trust Kanda certainly hurt, but it would not stop him.

"…Allen, look at me."

The boy shivered, as it was not very often that Kanda called him by name. Still, he defiantly kept his eyes on the ground. He was absolute in his decision, there was nothing to tell Kanda. He could sense Kanda approaching, but he only backed away. Kanda frowned and grabbed Allen by his shoulders. He wasn't going to let Allen run away.

"There really is nothing to tell you, Yu," Allen muttered almost incoherently.

"Then why aren't you looking at me?" Kanda's unusually calm voice only distressed Allen further.

Allen then looked up at Kanda, with his silver eyes murky with a sadness foreign to his lover. He slowly shook his head and pried himself away from Kanda, leaving the room in silence. Kanda was confused by the mixed signals coming from Allen, but Allen's refusal to answer wasn't mere distrust. Kanda bit down his lip, frustrated that he was nowhere closer to understanding Allen.

As for the boy, Allen was once again wandering the halls. When he wandered, he felt free. And that was how he ran into Nezumi again. The teen had been coming from the other side of the hall when he spotted Allen. He had planned to just go by, but something in Allen's forlorn expression tugged at his gut and Nezumi couldn't ignore it. When Allen looked so much like him, Nezumi couldn't help but think back of that person, and when he did, he felt that he couldn't ignore Allen. Cursing his undeniable weakness, Nezumi put on his usual snarky smile and approached Allen.

"Someone's feeling under the weather."

Allen was surprised at first, but he slowly managed a smile.

"Hello…"

"You don't seem the type to play truant. Boyfriend made you cry?" Nezumi asked with all the flair of a bystander, but Allen was just glad someone was talking to him like everything was normal. It gave his senses time to calm down.

"And you're playing truant as well? And I'm not crying." Allen managed a comeback, but it wasn't a jab strong enough to faze Nezumi. He inclined his head towards the other end of the hallway.

"Yeah, sitting still was never my style anyway. Let's take a walk."

For a while, these two simply walked in companiable silence. Allen had no idea where they were going, but soon found themselves on the rooftop overlooking majority of the Black Order grounds. The silence was not uncomfortable, but Allen felt like he wanted to asked Nezumi questions, maybe get to know him better. It was strange, but perhaps it was natural because Nezumi was not one of them, those who were reborn. A stranger in a manner of speaking, but otherwise, a new encounter.

"So…How did you end up attending this school?" Allen couldn't think of any other topic to start a conversation, but Nezumi didn't seem to mind.

"I don't really have a formal education to begin with. I was just wandering the streets, performing in a small theatre as a part-time job until a teacher from this school saw me and offered a full scholarship for me in performing arts. It is free, so I figured why not? Plus, even if I play truant I won't be penalised as long as I do well in schoolwork so it's a win-win situation. What about you?" Nezumi asked.

"I…Well, do you know about the mental institution that recently burned down?" Allen slowly asked, wondering what sort of reaction he would get. Nezumi nodded, answering, "It'd be more surprising if anyone didn't. Normal facility on the surface, but in actuality a variety of prison facility used by one of the school board directors to do some batshit insane experimentation. Last on the news was that the prisoners were rescued and being facilitated while authorities are hunting the one responsible."

Nezumi's eyes turned dark momentarily when he mentioned those words, as if he had something unpleasant to think about. But it was normal human reaction, anyone would be horrified by such an unthinkable act of cruelty. It was an abomination of human rights violation. Allen quietly looked out at the scenery, before he let spill the truth.

"I was one of the prisoners. I am on scholarship too. I was in school custody until I was adopted recently."

Nezumi's eyes widened. This boy, a captive? No matter how he looked at it, Allen's demure and gentlemanly behaviour gave no sort of indication of suffering. But now that he knew the truth, Nezumi could not see Allen as a stranger any longer. Allen was a kindred spirit.

"I see…Hah, what a small world."

Allen, not quite understanding Nezumi's words, was just grateful Nezumi did not make a big deal out of it. Instead, he was more curious about another matter. "Well, you said you were wandering the streets. Is your friend a wanderer like you then? The one you mistook me for…Sion, was it?" Nezumi's face seemed to change colour the moment he mentioned Sion, and Allen almost panicked and thought if he had needlessly touched a sensitive subject. Instead, Nezumi had put on a worn, almost resigned smile.

"I was stupid; Sion won't be here in the first place. I left him behind."

8D I have no idea what to say...except that Nezumi and Sion will be part of the regular cast of TWS soon!