In spite of the fact that Genrou had told her they would be checking some of the other traps, Kai went to the stable after finishing her morning chores. Nami had already gone down the mountain with the others from the day before so there was no way she could join up with them. She quickly saddled the smallest horse and mounted it, hoping to escape before anyone caught her.

Her melancholy of the night before had persisted, even when she told herself that Genrou had invited her to drink with the guys after bringing her the music box, and she rode toward the gate. She wasn't entirely sure where she was going but she needed to get out of the fortress. Alone. Kai rode to the gate, hoping she'd caught them at guard changing time, only to find that someone was waiting for her.

"Where're ya off to?" Genrou stood by the front gate with his arms folded over his chest. "Thought we were gonna check the traps." Kai nodded toward the path.

"Going down the mountain," she said. "Gotta pick up some food and stuff."

"Without a cart?"

"It's not very much stuff." Kai wished he would just let her go and stop asking so many questions. More than anything she just wanted to be alone so she could think about things, and it was hard enough for her to leave when all she wanted to do was be near him. "I'll be back before dinner, don't worry."

"Hang on for a minute, okay?" Not waiting for her to say yes or no, Genrou went back into the fortress, leaving Kai and her impatient horse to stand in the sun. Part of her considered leaving while he was gone but she vetoed this in favor of seeing what he was going to bring her. Larger saddlebags, possibly, or more money for something he wanted. If that was the case she would gladly wait for him. Bringing him something that would make him give her a smile was worth the wait as far as she was concerned. No matter how she felt, she couldn't stop wanting him nearby.

"Sorry for the holdup," Genrou said, and Kai turned to see him astride his own horse. Surprised, she watched him ride alongside her. "I thought I'd go with ya. Checkin' the traps is borin' by yourself."

"What about Kouji Aniki?" As much as she'd wanted to be alone, seeing Genrou in the morning light changed things again. It didn't matter if he didn't care for her like she did him, or if all she was good for was a laugh, she would take whatever she could get as long as he was with her.

"Nah, he's hangin' around with the guys near the Kaou pass since we were supposed to keep checkin' the traps." He rode past her a little and she followed, suddenly feeling guilty about trying to leave without telling him. "If ya wanted to go to town ya shoulda let me know. I don't want ya runnin' into any of the bastards from over there by yourself."

"I brought my sword. Besides, I didn't want to bother you," she said.

"It ain't a bother," Genrou said, grinning. "The place wouldn't be the same without ya if somethin' happened to ya." His words made Kai happy in the same amount she'd been sad the night before and she wondered how she could have ever thought he didn't care. Even if it wasn't the same thing, he did want her around, and that was enough. "I saw ya didn't eat much this mornin' either. Here." He tossed an apple at Kai, who barely caught it in one hand. "Don't pass out."

"You don't have to look after me," Kai said, trying once more to give him an out if he needed it.

"Maybe not, but I wanna. When I was a kid, our old leader, Hakurou, kinda took me under his wing," Genrou said, looking over at her. "He was a great guy."

"Your names are so similar," Kai commented with a smile. "Maybe that's why."

"My name's not really Genrou, that's just what he called me and it's stuck. For, uh, let's see..." He looked up and squinted his eyes. "Almost fifteen years now." He was grinning and Kai thought to herself that it seemed like just about everyone in the mountains picked their own names.

"Oh. It's a good name, though. Suits you."

"Thanks," Genrou said, still grinning. "What about you? Is Kai your real name?"

"Y-yeah. Shima Kai," she said, hoping her face didn't turn red. She wanted to tell him her real name, wanted him to recognize it, wanted him to know the lengths to which she'd gone to be near him, but knew that if she did it would all come crashing down. Instead, she raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I've gotta know. What's your real name?" She half-expected him to tell her it was none of her business but he just smiled.

"Kou Shun'u," he said. "The only people who call me Shun'u any more are my family when I go visit 'em, though."

"That's a good name," she said, her heart speeding up. He had actually told her his name, the one that very few on the mountain – if any – knew, and it made her feel like she could fly. Kai carefully folded up this information and tucked it into the back of her mind to reexamine when she was alone. "You've got all kinds of good names."

"Don't sell yourself short," Genrou said. "Shima's a good name too. And Kai suits ya." He laughed. "Though I guess you're already kinda short to start with." The apple bounced off the side of his head and he looked over at her. "Hey!"

"Sorry. My hand slipped."

"I'll give ya slipped, ya little punk!" Genrou pulled his horse alongside hers and smacked her across the back of the head with his tessen.

"Careful with that thing," she said, ducking her head. Kai kicked her horse to speed it up. Not to be outdone, Genrou put his tessen back on his back and slapped his horse on the backside. He caught up with her, both of them laughing as they rode down the side of the mountain. Kai's horse was faster because it had a lighter load and Genrou slowed his down to a walk.

"Okay, okay, ya win," he called after her. Kai looked over her shoulder and saw that he was far behind her and she pulled back on the reins, then stopped to wait for him. "For someone who couldn't ride worth a damn a couple of months ago, you're doin' pretty good."

"Thanks."

They were on the edge of town now and Kai was surprised to see just how busy it was. Market stalls had been set up along the streets, and in the center of the town there were tables and booths everywhere. This was more than just the usual sellers and their wares and she looked back at Genrou, who was already dismounting.

"C'mon, we'll tie them up over here and go over to the market. You got a list or somethin' to go off?" Kai shook her head.

"I remember what I need," she said, leading her horse over to a long post where a number of horses were tied up. "Just a few things. Spices mostly, and some dried meat. And Nami wanted me to bring him soap." None of these things were true and she felt a stab of regret at lying to him but if he suspected her he didn't say anything.

"Soap?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna bring him back something really flowery. I can't wait to see the look on his face." Kai grinned at this and was pleased to see that Genrou was grinning too. He smiled easily and it made her happy every time. "This place is so busy today. I don't remember it being this crowded the last time we came down."

"It wasn't," Genrou said. "A couple of times a month they have a big market day. There's all kinds of vendors here from all over. 'S why I was wonderin' why ya weren't bringin' a wagon."

"It was a last minute idea," Kai said. This was true. She hadn't thought of coming down to Souun until just after she'd woken up. The first thing she'd seen when she opened her eyes was the music box and it had brought back the confusing feelings from the night before, making her think only of leaving to try and sort them out.

"Might as well look around since we're here. There's a lot of great stuff here that's not usually for sale." He pointed down the row. "There's a guy down there that sells-" He stopped suddenly and Kai looked at him curiously. "-never mind. Let's check out some of the stalls. They might have more stuff like that music box."

"Okay," Kai said, wondering what he had been about to say. It was far more interesting than the idea of another music box but she didn't know how to ask him without sounding like she was prying. There were plenty of things she wouldn't want him asking, and it was this that kept her mouth shut for good. "Is there anything you want to look for?"

"Nah. It's whatever ya want to check out."

"Oh. All right." Feeling a little strange about leading Genrou around, Kai went down the row he had indicated and he followed. Then, halfway down the row, he stepped in front of her and pointed off to the side.

"Hey, I'm just gonna go over there for a sec," he said. "Over by the food. I'll meet ya back here in a couple of minutes, okay?"

"Sure," Kai said, a little confused. She watched him go, then turned back to the stalls and sighed. Two down the way were selling china and pottery, much like the one she'd broken and then replaced from the storage room. He still thinks I'm mad about the basin, she thought. Kai wondered if she should tell him again she wasn't mad, then decided to act like it never happened. She walked past the china sellers and her attention was immediately caught by something else.

There was a young woman at the end of the row selling jewelry that drew her toward it and she leaned over the table after greeting the seller. Kai's eyes fell on a necklace that was a ring of shiny black stones with a single large stone in the center and she picked it up, looking over her shoulder to see where Genrou was. He was discussing something with another seller and she held up the necklace to see it in the light. The stone in the center was deep red, almost the color of blood, and two smaller ones of the same color were evenly balanced on either side of the necklace.

She really loved jewelry. Maybe it was because it reminded her of her parents, or because she had to sell off her mother's after they'd died. Whatever the reason, an ache filled her chest as she looked at the necklace and it intensified as she put it back. There was no way she could wear it now.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" Genrou's voice over her shoulder startled her and she looked up suddenly. He was standing over her with a steamed bun in his hand. "Jewelry?"

"Y-yeah," she said, thinking desperately of something to say. A good excuse didn't present itself so she went with the truth and pointed at the necklace on the table. "The stone on this is really nice," she said, not knowing if he'd seen her holding it or not. "What kind is it, do you think?"

"Probably a garnet," he said, taking a bite of the bun. "Here," he said, through his mouthful. He was holding a bun out to her and she stood up, surprised. "Since ya threw your apple at me."

"Thanks," Kai said, taking it from him and looking down at it. Tendrils of steam were rising from it and the smell coming from it was heavenly. She was about to tell Genrou she wasn't that hungry when her stomach growled loudly. Embarrassed, Kai took a bite of the bun. "It's good," she said.

"Yeah, they make some of the best butaman around," Genrou said. "The guy next to 'em's got the dried meat ya want, too, and I think I can get us a good price on it." Kai nodded, her mouth full. "Was there anything else?"

"Just a couple of things." With a wistful look at the necklace as soon as Genrou's attention was elsewhere, she left the jeweler's table and followed him. Remembering that he didn't want her trailing behind him, she walked a little faster so they were side by side and smiled. A couple passed them by and she looked up at Genrou, wondering if they would look as good if she was dressed as a girl. Not willing to let this thought settle in her head, she took another bite of the bun and focused on the market.

They walked around the stalls at a leisurely pace, eating their butaman, and while Genrou was haggling with the vendor over the dried meat, Kai noticed a bookseller nearby. She went over to him as if drawn by some unseen force and picked up one of the books.

The Tale of the Suzaku Shichiseishi. Kai had only been a small girl when Suzaku no Miko had come from the other world and saved Konan from Kutou and Seiryuu. She'd heard people tell their story many times before but the idea of reading it herself was appealing.

"Now what're ya lookin' at?" Genrou came over to her, holding a package wrapped in paper and tied with twine. "I swear, you've got the attention span of a gnat." He looked at the book in her hands and frowned. "Ya don't wanna read that," he said.

"Why not?" Kai looked up at him. "I was just a little kid when Suzaku no Miko appeared. I wanna read more about her and the Shichiseishi."

"Find somethin' else to read," Genrou said, almost irritably. "I'm goin' over here." He didn't specify where he was going and Kai put the book aside quickly, as if it had burned her. She wanted to go after Genrou but at the same time she wanted to leave him alone until he cooled down. Kouji had told her before that he could be hot-tempered but this was different and she didn't understand why.

Instead of going after him, she looked at the rest of the bookseller's wares. There were several books about swordfighting that she thought looked useful, as well as a few books of poetry that she knew would get her teased mercilessly by the others if she showed up with them. In the end she selected a book about the different animals that could be found in the mountains in part because it had a wolf painted on the cover, then stood up and looked around to see if Genrou was nearby.

"Genrou?" Kai frowned and glanced up and down the nearby rows. The leader was nowhere to be seen and she felt panic creeping up into her chest. Did I make him so mad by trying to read that book that he went back without me? The idea was enough to make the panic spread faster and she stepped away from the bookseller. "Genrou?"

The thought that he had left without her was terrifying, even though she knew she'd be able to get back the fortress on her own. Hoping that they had just gotten separated, she walked up and down the street, past the stalls and blankets covered in goods. She was tempted to call out to him again but didn't want to sound like she was desperate.

Not realizing where she was going, Kai ended up close to the teahouse district. She stopped in the middle of the street and looked around, thinking that he might have come this way. If that was the case, he definitely wouldn't want her around. She was debating going back to the market when someone grabbed her arm. Thinking it was Genrou, she turned with a smile and an apology on the tip of her tongue.

"Shika? Is that you?" The madam from the teahouse stood before her and Kai's stomach dropped to her knees. "It is you! What's happened to you?"

"Kaachan," Kai managed. "I don't know what you mean."

"We were so worried about you, dear. You disappeared without so much as a note and now I find you dressed up like a boy and running around the marketplace! You've lost weight, too, I can see it in your face. Come home with me and we'll get you fed and properly clothed." Still holding on to Kai's arm, she tugged her toward the teahouse that had been her home for almost three years.

"I can't come with you," Kai said, standing her ground. She might not have been strong enough to swing her sword as surely as Nami but she was definitely strong enough now to resist the older woman. "I'm looking for someone."

"Don't worry about that," the madam said with a shake of her head. In the past her tone would have been enough to make Shika quietly do as she asked, but she was no longer that girl. She was Kai now and she was going to stay that way. "I'm not sure you're hanging around the right sort dressed like that anyhow. Let's not be stubborn, Shika. Come with me."

"No," Kai said, shaking off the madam's hand. "I have to go. I appreciate everything you did for me but I'm not coming back, so please don't look for me." Without waiting for a reply, Kai started running down the street, back to the marketplace and back to the place she'd last seen Genrou. "Excuse me," she said to the men she pushed past along the way. "I'm sorry, excuse me."

"Hey, Kai! There ya are!" A familiar voice spoke as she passed and a wave of relief washed over Kai. "I was lookin' all over for ya."

"Genrou," Kai said, the tension draining from her body. "I was looking for you too," she said before she realized it was coming out of her mouth.

"We musta got separated somehow," Genrou said, not seeming to realize how relieved she was. "Ya can't go walkin' off like that on a big day like today." He was grinning at first but his smile faltered for a moment. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Kai smiled, shaking her head. "Nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?"

"Ya just look like somethin's up." He looked at her more closely. "Ya sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Maybe just a little tired."

"We can head back if ya want." Genrou tossed a wrapped package to Kai. "Here, your meat. Did ya already get the soap?"

"No," Kai said. "I was-" She closed her mouth before she could say that she was worried because she thought he'd left her behind. "I just didn't."

"It's okay, we can get it quick." He turned around and started toward the middle of the marketplace and Kai stared after him, a mixture of relief and longing in her heart. He turned back around after a few steps and looked at her. "Hey, are ya comin' or not?"

"Sorry!" Kai ran to catch up with him and they walked together until they found a booth selling toiletries. Her desire to get something that would annoy Nami was gone and she picked up something that looked as generic as possible, dropping the coins into the hand of the man behind the table. Her errand finished, she stood up straight and looked at Genrou. "Now I'm finished."

"Good. If we ride quick, we'll probably be able to get back in time for ya to get started on dinner." His words were half-teasing and Kai shrugged, not sure what to say. After all, it was her job. "I'm just kiddin.' What's up with ya bein' so serious all of a sudden?"

"Who's serious?" Kai shifted the packages so they were under her arm and looked up at Genrou. "I was just thinking of what I was going to make for dinner. Something different this time, or maybe I was going to try that thing with the lotus root again."

"After ya almost killed everybody last time? No thanks."

"My skills have improved considerably since then," Kai said, putting her free hand on her hip. "Besides, you're probably the only one who remembers something like that."

"Trust me. If ya bring out that disaster again, everybody'll remember." For a moment his gold eyes shifted to her as if he was expecting her to be offended but when she gave him a petulant look he relaxed. "Why don't ya do the thing with the carrots and onions? It's one of my favorites."

"Is it?" Kai looked at him with interest. This was something she hadn't known. "I don't know, they've got a pretty good deal on lotus root over there."

"Keep walkin,' kid."

Laughing, Kai clutched the packages to her chest and ran for the horses. Genrou caught her easily and threw his leg over the saddle easily while Kai struggled to do the same. He sighed and shook his head.

"Put your stuff away first, genius."

"Shut up," Kai mumbled, embarrassed that she hadn't thought of it herself. She put the packages in the saddlebag, then went about trying to get into her saddle. Back in the fortress she had used the salt block to get up on it as usual but there was no such help for her here. She put her foot in the stirrup that came almost to her waist and used every bit of her strength to hoist herself up. The last thing she wanted to do was have Genrou help her up on the horse the way Kouji had before in front of a marketplace full of people.

"Hey, good job," Genrou said, giving her a thumbs-up. "Guess ya really are gettin' stronger."

"You had any doubt?" She grinned at him and he shrugged, still smiling. As much as she'd wanted to be alone before, she thought that this was much better.

They spent the ride up the mountain telling stories about their lives and laughing, Genrou pointing out the locations of traps along the way. Kai supposed she was glad they weren't walking off the path. She couldn't imagine how they would get a horse out of a net if she tripped one. She was busy thinking about this when she heard a soft thump and felt her left foot suddenly dangling free.

"Oh dammit," Kai said, looking down at the stirrup that had fallen on the ground. "How the hell did that even happen?"

"Probably just slipped off the leather," Genrou said. He pulled his horse up short. "This saddle's pretty old but one of the guys can probably fix it. I'll get it for ya."

"No, I'll get it." Kai carefully got off on the left side of the horse just as Genrou got off his own horse and they went for it at the same time, hitting their heads together as they bent down.

"Ow," they said at the same time, then looked at each other and laughed. Genrou bent down and picked up the stirrup and handed it to her, rubbing his forehead with the other hand.

"You've got a hard head," he said. "Shouldn't surprise me, you're so stubborn."

"Coming from you, that's a compliment." Kai took the leather strap from him and found herself standing so close to him their chests were almost touching. Instantly her face was hot but she couldn't make herself step away. In fact, everything in her body was screaming for her to move closer. "Thank you," she said, her mouth dry.

"'S nothin,'" Genrou said, looking as if he didn't quite know what to say either. Kai took a deep breath, then decided she'd go all in.

"I'm really glad you came with me," she said with a small smile. "It's always so nice talking with you."

"Yeah," he said, returning her smile. She hoped it wasn't her imagination that he was blushing too. "I like talkin' to ya too. You remind me of some friends I used to have."

"I hope that's a good thing," Kai said, feeling so breathless it amazed her that she could even get the words out.

"Trust me, it is."

"Then I'm glad."

Neither of them spoke for another long minute, then, out of nowhere, they moved in to kiss each other, as if they'd both had the same idea at the same time. It wasn't a long kiss or particularly passionate, but all Kai could think was that it was the best thing that had ever happened to her or would ever happen to her. Then it was over and they separated, both blushing furiously.

"Sorry!" Genrou put his hands in front of his chest and backed away from her as if he thought she was going to hit him. "I-I wasn't thinkin!'"

"It's, uh, it's okay," Kai said, squeezing the stirrup so she had something to do with her own hands. She was having a hard time meeting his eyes. "I mean, I didn't, it was kind of my fault too." She didn't know what to say any more than Genrou seemed to and they stood in silence, this time a full horse's width apart, long enough to make it uncomfortable again.

"W-we should get back," Genrou said. "Ya know, so ya can have some time to yourself before makin' dinner. Or, y'know, read your book or-or somethin.'"

"Right," Kai said, remembering that she had indeed bought a book. "I can do that. Sounds good." She went around to the side of her horse that still had a stirrup and mounted it with only a little difficulty this time, then followed Genrou back to the fortress.

The easy, laughing conversation they'd had on the way down had dried up as soon as they'd come together for that brief moment, leaving behind an awkward silence that neither of them knew how to fill. It was a relief to see the gates of the fortress in front of them and they sped up on their way to the stable instead of having to find a way to talk to each other.

Once they were back at the stable, Genrou was the first off his horse and immediately took it into the barn while Kai stalled outside. She opened and closed the saddlebag to make sure her purchases were still there, pointedly not looking in the leader's direction. Knowing she couldn't stay on her horse forever, though, Kai slid off the saddle to the left. She fully expected the stirrup to hold her weight but realized at the last second that it was still missing.

Like a flash, Genrou was behind her. Kai fell back into his arms, bracing herself for an impact against the ground that never came. She relaxed and opened her eyes, turning to find that once again they were so close they were breathing the same air.

"Careful," Genrou said. "Did ya forget the stirrup wasn't there?"

"Y-yeah," Kai replied. "Thanks for catching me."

"It's no big deal." He sighed. "Listen-"

"Hey, Genrou!" Kouji's voice came from the porch, making both Genrou and Kai jump away from each other as if they had been caught at something. "You got a second?"

"Yeah, I'm comin' right over!" With a last look at Kai that ended in his turning bright red, he hurried over to the porch to see what Kouji needed, leaving Kai to put away her horse and unpack her saddlebag. It was actually something of a relief. She didn't know what he had been about to say and there was as much chance of it being bad as there was of it being good.

Rather than think too hard about this, Kai replayed the kiss in her mind as she took her new book, the soap and the dried meat out of the saddlebag. It made her grin involuntarily and the memory made her blush almost as hard as Genrou had been when he walked away. He did like her. Even if it wasn't as much as Kai liked him, it was something. It could always become more, she thought, still grinning. It came to her then in a flash of light that stabbed through her chest and nearly made her drop the things in her hands.

He may have kissed her because he liked her, but he also thought she was a boy. That meant he liked men, which also meant that if she lost her mind and revealed to him that she was a woman there was an excellent chance that he would change his mind about liking her.

"Hey, brat," Nami said, stepping out of the fortress and walking toward Kai. "What've you got? I thought you were goin' to check the traps today."

"Here," Kai mumbled, shoving two handfuls at Nami as she passed. "Take these." Without any further explanation, she ran into the fortress and down to her room, leaving Nami standing in the yard looking at the soap and dried meat she'd handed him.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with these?"

000

"Goh got him pretty good," Kouji was saying as he walked with Genrou to his room. "Picked him off before he even got over the hill, then shot another into his ass for good measure."

"Did he kill him?" It seemed that while he and Kai were in town, a few of the bandits from Mt. Kaou had decided it was a good day to try and muscle in on their territory. Unluckily for them, they had tried to come through the pass where Kouji was working with their top archer.

"Nah, just winged him. I mean, I was serious about the one in his ass, though. He won't be sittin' down on that side for a while." Kouji grinned at his friend and Genrou laughed. "How'd it go with the kid? I thought you two were gonna check traps today."

"Change of plans. We'll do it later," he said, wanting to steer the conversation away from Kai. "Anything else happen while I was gone?"

"Not really. Those two big posts at the back of the wall are looking worse and Saki got a couple of deer. He already butchered them and everything, they're just waiting to be cooked or dried or whatever we're gonna do to them." Kouji shrugged. "Y'know, the usual."

"Great. Probably should let Kai know there's venison in case he wants to cook some tonight." They had reached Genrou's room by this time and Kouji nodded.

"Good idea. Maybe if he's got some warning this time it'll actually be edible. I'll show him where we put it too." He went down the hall toward the yard where he'd last seen Kai, and Genrou pushed open his doors and went inside.

When he was by himself, he stood with his back against the closed doors of his room and leaned his head against the wood. He couldn't believe what he'd done. Even knowing how he'd started to feel about the boy, he still hadn't expected to go and do something like that. The only comfort was that Kai hadn't pulled away or punched him, but he didn't know what that really meant. He figured Kai had to have been at least a little into it or it wouldn't have happened in the first place but that was as far as he'd gotten on the ride home.

Asking him was out of the question. The last time he'd been in love with someone, the answer he'd gotten had been one he expected but it still hurt. Even though he'd tried to play it off, even though enough time had passed for books to be written about their history, it still felt like there was a hole inside him. But for the brief moment when he'd kissed Kai he felt like it had closed up. He couldn't begin to think about asking Kai what he'd felt and be told again that he was mistaken. That he was a good friend. That accidents happen.

It wasn't an accident, though, Genrou thought, looking up at the ceiling. Was it ?

He wasn't sure he really wanted to know.