Title: A cure to insomnia
Genres: Romance slash (though really soft), hurt/comfort (sort of), fluff
Rating: T
Characters: Edgeworth/Blackquill (yep you read that right!)
Disclaimer: I don't own Ace Attorney (I don't even have the games, snif), and I'm not making any money with this fic.
Warnings: Huge spoilers for Dual Destinies and all the games before!
Author Note:
Hey there! I'm coming with a ship so under loved it's pretty much buried in the deep of the sea, but oh well. EdgeQuill isn't exactly a cute couple (by that I mean it is difficult to make fluff with these two antisocial tsundere), but I find it really enjoyable and beautiful. They have much in common, as both try to hide their suffering behind an uncaring mask (Edgey with his arrogance and Simon with his black humour). But we know that deep down they are really sensitive and really need love and comprehension. The good point is that they would understand each other really well and I think they wouldn't have any problem living with one another.
I hesitated a long time before publishing (this was on my computer for weeks, maybe months), but finally I decided to because EdgeQuill really needs more love. I hope it'll make at least one person want to write it as well. I so want to read about this couple!
For those who have read The perfect Family (one of my fics), it is a sort of spin-off. But you don't have to read that fic to understand this one, of course.
So yeah, I think I'll let you read now. Feel free to tell me your opinion on that ship!
One thing Simon learned in the months following his acquittal was that leaving prison didn't cure insomnia. He had predicted, of course, that it would take some time to adjust to a normal lifestyle, but he had perhaps been a bit too optimistic.
He had always thought that his insomnia was directly linked to his incarceration, as he had never suffered from it before. However, he had neglected to take account of the after effects. Truth be told, while he dreamed a lot about taking back his liberty, it had never been tangible enough for him to consider it seriously.
This only led to one discouraging truth that, despise sleeping in a comfortable bed in a comfortable life, he still didn't get enough sleep at night.
Even after so much time, he was still plagued with nightmares – only the content seemed to evolve over time, not the frequency. Every night, he would wake up drenched in cold sweat, his face stained with tears, unable to tell for a while what was reality and what wasn't. Some times, he would even think he was back at the clink, his acquittal nothing but a sweet if cruel dream.
The first nights, he had curled up in his bed, trying to find back the sleep he so deserved. Over time, though, as he came to realize how futile that was, he would get up and try to change his mind by reading a book or working on a case. This brought him to learn that Miles also suffered from a mild case of insomnia – he didn't have problem sleeping every night, but at least once a week.
They had established sort of a ritual by now: should they end up both in the living-room during the night, they would sit on the couch side by side. After a quiet greeting or silent acknowledgement, they would get to some personal business. Most of the time, Miles would make green tea for Simon, knowing by now it was his favourite, while he would stick to Earl Grey or some other black tea.
They never talked about it, as they never talked about a lots of things. By the standard of most people – and Simon would often use the Wright Anything Agency as reference, while knowing full well they weren't normal people –, this would be deemed as boring, even cold. But to Simon, this was exactly what he needed. Some peace, some calm, and someone he could talk to should he ever get the need.
Maybe they didn't talk much, but they had came up with a sort of understanding, based on mutual respect for privacy. Simon would never forget he was living with him as a guest, as someone Miles was doing a favour to, and therefore they wouldn't get in a fight for who used what. Simon made a point of following every rules Miles had implicitly and explicitly made.
Moreover, Miles seemed considerate enough not to rush him into moving out. He had suggested he lived with him a couple of days at first, until he found an apartment of his own, but the days had morphed into weeks and months without him objecting. Simon hadn't meant to take so long, but he was quite content with their arrangement and wasn't in any rush to break it. He would happily stay there permanently, if such a thing was possible.
It felt nice when, once a week or more, Simon would wake up from his nightmares, all scared and disoriented, to find the comforting presence of Miles in the living-room, reading some thing or another with his glasses on. Overall, his boss had helped a lot in his quest for a normal life, and Simon wasn't sure how far he would have gotten should he had not moved in with him. For that, and for everything he did for him in the past years, Simon couldn't even begin to describe how indebted he felt for the man.
One night, though, their unspoken rule of not speaking should they meet past midnight was broken.
As Simon sat down besides Miles, he noticed the older man closed his book and took off his glasses, scrubbing his eyes to ease away the tiredness. Simon looked at him from the corner of his eyes, distractedly playing with the cover of his novel about samurais, wondering if he should read or wait for the older to get to something.
The older got up and went over to the kitchen, meaning he was about to make tea. Simon didn't object and finally opened his book, ready to read the night away. Hopefully it would be interesting enough so he could forget all about his nightmares.
When Miles came back, he set down the two cups – a Japanese-styled for Simon and a British one for himself. As usual, the Twisted Samurai thanked him with a slight nod and a small but genuine smile. He immediately took his cup to take a sip, recognizing once more Miles was a genius at making tea. One day, he should tell him.
For now, though, he was brought out of his delectation by his boss who, after a long sip, put down his cup and said, in a louder voice than ever in their nighttime meetings, "I have a question for you, Blackquill."
This certainly was new – Simon wasn't good at dealing with new in his social interactions. On edge, but trying hard not to show it, he answered, his voice lower than usual, "What might that be, Edgeworth-dono?"
Miles had established since the beginning that he shouldn't call him 'Chief Prosecutor' out of work, so Simon had took the habit to call him that way. It felt comfortable, to use that suffix, and they were nowhere near close enough to be on first name basis.
The chief prosecutor played with his collar nervously – he wore a pink-magenta pyjama that didn't cover his neck, unlike all of his clothes –, and decided he might as well get it out with, "I was wondering if you planned on moving out at some point."
Finally, they were coming down to this. Simon couldn't help but wonder why his boss took so long. Still, it didn't make it any easier. He had more than enough reasons to stay, but he somehow felt like, should he even utter one, he'd appear to be making excuses. He wanted to avoid at all costs looking like he was only delaying – though he must admit it was the truth –, so he stayed silent while pondering what he should say.
Miles exhaled quietly and Simon wondered if he had irritated him with his lack of response. However, what the older said contradicted his first impression, "I may not have phrased that correctly. Allow me to ask again in a better fashion."
Simon arched an eyebrow and studied his housemate. He was looking at the other side of him, as if to make it more difficult to see his expression, and he was fidgeting with his sleeves now. It was a behaviour Simon wasn't used to see on him, but he deduced this meant he was embarrassed by what he was about to say.
"What I should ask is..." The older stopped awkwardly before going on too quickly, "Do you still want to move out?
The younger wasn't sure he should believe what he was understanding, for it seemed too good to be true. "Are you saying me staying here is an option?" He asked in bewilderment.
There it was, out in the open, and neither of them could avoid it now. Miles hummed in agreement, his voice low but steady, and admitted, still looking on his far right, "At first, I suggested you live with me so you wouldn't have to rush to find yourself a home, but, as you have noticed, our agreement became... comfortable. Therefore, I wouldn't have any objections, should you want to stay for a longer term."
Simon still didn't know what to say, but he managed to croak out, his insecurity catching up sooner than his inhibitions, "Are you sure you want me, Edgeworth-dono?"
He didn't want to sound that desperate, but the truth was he was desperate. The simple idea of living alone made him shudder in apprehension, as he knew full well no one would be there to comfort him if need be. Miles comforted him only by being there, and that was something he realized he didn't want to lose.
The older finally looked his way, his eyes earnest and his expression serious. "Maybe I never made it clear enough," he claimed, "but I enjoy your company very much. In truth, I'm not sure I would want to go back to living alone."
This was one statement Simon had almost dreaded to hear as much as he had hoped to. He felt incredibly happy knowing their feelings were mutual, but he still felt insecure beyond words. He was so used to living alone in a cell, and even though the past months had proven he could behave, wouldn't he, over time, become a burden for his boss?
Not to mention he was pretty sure that for him to become independent, he needed to have his own apartment, to manage his own life. As it was now, he was dependent on Miles, both at work and outside of it. Even if it was pleasant to live with him and he felt like he needed it, perhaps it wasn't such a good idea after all.
Going against his own desire, he objected, "Wouldn't I get in your way if you were to find your 'special someone'?"
Miles startled, surely not expecting this line of reasoning, and his cheeks became red. Simon observed with amusement and wondered if he ever had someone in his life. By the looks of it, and given what he could gather here and there, he deduced it must not have been the case. If anything, he was married to his work. He could easily picture him saying romantic interests were unimportant and only work mattered.
He was expecting something along the line, but his boss surprised him greatly when he admitted, "Actually, I have already found my special someone, and it so happens that I'm living with him right now."
This was so unexpected Simon gawked ungracefully, his mind in an endless spin. It couldn't mean what he thought it meant, right? He must have heard it wrong, surely! There was no way Miles could be in love with... him, of all people.
They stayed in an awkward silence for a long time, Simon trying to process and failing to come with a counter argument. After a while, he heard his boss sigh before he voiced, his voice slightly uneven, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spring this on you... I wasn't thinking. You can forget it all. I'll never mention it again."
And Simon was pretty sure that he would, in fact, never mention it again. It was his way of dealing with everything he felt embarrassed about: he would first mention it, and upon thinking it was a bad idea, would never ever bring it up again. He was always quick to give up on personal matter as opposed to his job.
Simon didn't know why, but this one time, he didn't want him to abandon, not yet. It was the first time he had said something so heartfelt to him and he didn't want to pretend it never happened. He tried to be as honest as he could and finally spoke up, "I don't want to forget it, Edgeworth-dono. I'm just... not ready yet for any romantic relationship. I still need time before I can function as a normal human being, as you must have noticed."
"Of course," Miles quickly agreed. "You can take all the time you want. I'm happy with being able to live in the same apartment as you. I wasn't and won't ever expect more from you." He paused a second to look Simon in the eyes, very intent on making his next statement even more serious. "So, stay with me." And, as an afterthought, he added, "If you still want to, of course."
For the first time since his release, Simon had an urge to reach to someone else. The hostile environment of the prison had made it difficult for him to get near anyone and he had lost, he thought for good, the impulse to touch someone else. Right now, though, he needed to put his arms around his neck and hold him close. It was so sudden, so impulsive, he found himself doing it before he even realized what was going on.
If Miles seemed surprised at first, he adapted quickly and put his own hands on his back to settle them both more comfortably. Simon burrowed himself in his bare neck and closed his eyes, listening to Miles' quick heartbeat. For whatever reason, his own heart was also beating madly.
He had forgotten how it felt like to hug someone. After his release, Athena had tried to hug him, but he always found ways to avoid her touch. Not that he disliked her, quite the contrary, but he had become wary of people's proximity. The prison had tarnished his interaction with people, rendering him unable to feel someone's touch without uneasiness.
This one time, though, it actually felt right to be near him. The touch wasn't ominous, it didn't stirred up bad memories in him. He trusted Miles, more than anyone else perhaps, and he knew he, of all people, would never betray him – unlike Fulbright, or who he thought was Fulbright.
They stayed like this a long time, too long for Simon to count, and he soon found himself becoming more and more sleepy. Over time, both their heartbeat had slowed down, and the sound made him calmer than ever. The warmth of another body so close to him made him feel like home, like he was back to a child without worries, and he thought this was perhaps what he had always needed to sleep well.
When Simon woke up, he hadn't even noticed he had fallen asleep. He was still on the couch, but he was lying down and he was more hot than he had ever felt these past years. He quickly realized the source of heat and blushed, adding to his already warm state. For he could feel an arm encircling his waist, as well as a body close in his back. A breath was tickling slightly his neck, making him shudder despite the temperature.
He tried to turn around to ascertain the identity of the one spooning him, but his embrace was too tight and he didn't have enough space. However, he managed to see some grey hair, a dead give-away of their owner, not to mention the arm was draped in a pink – magenta, would he say – pyjama.
He felt himself smile a little and closed his eyes again, deciding that for now he may as well enjoy the situation. He still had a lot of doubts about all of this, but he could deal with it later. For now, it seemed more important to engulfed himself in the touch he longed for without even knowing it.
He fell in a sort of daze, not quite asleep but not much awake either, until he could feel some movements behind him. Miles distanced himself from him a little, allowing him to turn around and face him. They stayed close, though, and the older didn't detach his arms from his waist – which he felt grateful for, since he might have fallen out of the couch otherwise.
Miles smiled a little before stating, straight to the point, "You fell asleep on me and you wouldn't let go, so I had to sleep here as well. I hope I didn't startle you."
Simon felt himself blush, embarrassed by how he had acted without even knowing it. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I don't know what overcame me. I don't usually... jump on people like that."
Miles chuckled, a pleasant noise that made Simon's heart flutter, and added, "I am quite aware of that fact. Rest assured that it didn't bother me in the least."
His eyes were tender and loving, showing more than his words just how much he cared for him, and Simon found himself staring inside his grey eyes, looking for any kind of lie. He still couldn't believe the situation they found themselves in. It all felt unreal, like a fleeting dream – perhaps it was proof enough it was real, considering Simon had nothing but nightmares in his sleep.
Miles' hand left his body to move higher. It settled on his cheek, in a so subtle touch he almost couldn't feel it. He caressed it a little, as if touching something both delicate and precious. Simon stayed still, unable to tell if he wanted him to do more or stop there, but before he could make up his mind, Miles let go and got up, moving him along the way.
"I have a meeting early this morning," his boss mentioned, "but you can come in the office later if you want to. I know you're not working on a case right now, so feel free to take your time."
Simon sat up to protest, but his superior got to his own room before he had a chance to say anything. He exhaled and scanned the living room, wondering if he should take his advice or not. After some time, he decided he might as well get up and take a shower.
When he got out, Miles had already left. Since he had nothing better to do, he dressed up and ate, before going to work. He didn't have a case yet, but there always was something to do at the prosecutor's office. He knew, anyway, that it was only a matter of time before he would get a case.
All day long, he felt strangely light. Maybe it was because he had slept well, for once, or maybe it had to do with the fact that he could stay with Miles now. People didn't notice, as he was good at hiding what he really felt, but it didn't change the fact that he had never felt happier since his incarceration.
It would take time for him to finally be able to be in a relationship, but, until then, he knew he had a place to call home. Perhaps his insomnia would stop being a problem and he could look into the future with optimism. A future where, he was sure, Miles would be by his side.
Omg, this turned out so more fluffy than I intended! I'm sorry, I'm sure Simon is so OoC I shouldn't even use his name... I wanted to show a more vulnerable side of him, but I guess I forgot to show his snarky side as well.
I still hope it was interesting enough for you to enjoy reading it! The plot has more potential, but I'll stop here. Perhaps I'm gonna start something anew one more time with something more elaborate, but for now you'll have to stick with this.
Feel free to review and tell me what I should improve!