Lord of the Coffee Java of the Ainur

by Lothithil

A Parody of Professor T's magnificent books, written by someone who drinks entirely too much coffee. No potty humour or smut, just lots of cream and sugar and not a little amount of silliness.

83. Chapter 83 The Fall of the Black Café

Lord of the Coffee
The Fall of the Black Café; Putting out the Eye in Irony

In the greater distance, Sour'on looked on in annoyance as his multitudes were destroyed by the oldest trick in the food-service business. He became suddenly aware that nearby, in the bowels of the burning mountain, two tiny half-caffs and a scrawny java-hound were fighting over his CoffeeRing. He turned his swiveling bloodshot eye toward them just in time to see Sméagolatté fall to his death with His Ring clenched in his coffee-stained teeth.

Blinking rapidly in his great exasperation, Sour'on the Lord of the Coffee slowly began to fall as his great towering Café of Barad Dunkin crumbled like a cookie beneath him.

Just before he exploded in a fireball of petulance, he thought loudly, "Sure... it's all fun and games until someone loses an Eye!"