The Cast of Lord of the Coffee
NescaFrodo (hero), CoffeeRing Bearer, son of Go-go and Trimula TeaBaggins, nephew and heir of Bilbean. A half-caff.
Sanka Gamgeek, a half-caff waiter, side-dish, and friend of NescaFrodo
MochaMerry StarBrandybuck, son of Sarahlee, friend of NescaFrodo and Drippin Tookas a half-caff.
Drippin Tookas, highly expendable friend of NescaFrodo and MochaMerry, half-caff and kleptomaniac
Gandgulp the Grey Wizard, see also Grandélf the White and Milkeeway. A white-hat fellow
Aromagorn, heir of Isillydur, a Man. See also Styroamer chief of the ReadyRangers, Delissar, and Iman Alias. Companion of NescaFrodo.
Legolatté Collardgreens, an Elf of Milkwood, Companion of NescaFrodo. Sharpshooter and clotheshorse
Gemli, son of Glóinchop, a Dwarf, Companion of NescaFrodo. Ax master and cinnamon roll baker
Boromocha, son of Dentynethor, a Man, valiant, loyal, entranced by the One Coffee, Companion of NescaFrodo
Supporting Cast
Bilbean TeaBaggins, CoffeeRing Bearer and amateur burglar. An adventurous half-caff.
Elground the Édainish, Lord of the Cupcakes, master of Imladrip also know as Rivndell Perk
Arwenchiel, daughter of Elground and sweetheart of Aromagorn. A Cupcake
Elédee and Elédumb, twin sons of Elground and brothers of Arwenchiel. Also Cupcakes, ReadyRangers
Glorfindelano, an Elf-Lord. Hero of Gondolinseed and slayer of the Foulgrog. Eye-candy
Godivariel, Queen of Chocolate. An Elf-Lady, Ruler of Loríandadanish
Celebraun, spouse of Godivariel. An Elf-Lord and eye-candy
Haldiroast, a hot Elf in Lóriandadainish, does not die at Helmund's Dip (sorry PJ)
Orophine and Rumilstone, brothers of Haldiroast, coffee addicts and more eye-candy
Glóinchop, father of Gemli, a Dwarf-Lord, one of Bilbean's companions
Barleycorn Butterrum, a Man, Inkeeper and owner of the Perculating Pony
Gaffer Gamgeek, father of Sanka. A half-caff. Tater chef and truant officer of the Shire
Bred Candyman, a half-caff, son of the Miller of Hobbeanton. A Shire-weenie
TeaTreeBeard, a Therment, a non-hasty tea-herder
Sacchrineman (the Wizard formerly known as White), Led astray by the guile of the Dark Lord. See also Sweetums
Sour'on, Dark Lord and coffeeoholic. Forger of the CoffeeRing. The Big Eye and the Bad Guy. Black hat fella
Dentynethor, father of Boromocha and Faramocha. A Man who is the Breward of Gonoroma and a dental hygeinist
Faramocha, brother of Boromocha. A Man who is (quite) a few quills short of a hedgehog
Karóden, King of Yuban. A Man, who for a brief time, was mentally short-sheeted by Sacchrineman, by means of his servant, Grahma Burntongue.
Grahma Burntongue, the double-crossing butler, sleaze-interest of Mayówyn, a Man
Mayówyn, daughter of Helmans, a woMan. See also Poúpon (the grey)
Héomer, brother of Mayówyn, a Man who looks really good in armour. sigh
Hámandrye, a Man, doorwarden of Breadoras
Gulp'um/Sméagolatté, CoffeeRing Bearer, used to be a Half-caff. See also Stinky, Slinky, and Peter Lorré.
Poúpon, a Man of Rohan. (Actually, he is the sister of Héomer in drag. The family doesn't like to mention it...)