AN: If this chappie seems a tad bit short to you, the most likely reason would be the fact that it was supposed to be part of the previous chapter. Indeed, the title for this one was supposed to be used as the title for the last one had it not been for the last minute change in plan (that is to say, splitting this part and the previous chapter due to length). Asakura's mysterious part in these shenanigans may or may not be revealed here.

Disclaimer: You wanna know who the One True God is? It's Tanigawa-san! Worship Him, the one who created and owns Haruhi!

Chapter 4: It's Not a Continuum Transfunctioner

When I turned fifteen, my aunt gave me a jigsaw puzzle that depicted the sunset skyline over Kobe. Kobe is the city right next to ours, just so you know. Anyway, when I first gazed upon that orangey box cover, I don't remember giving it any thought other than considering the fact that it was orange, and that there was a small flock of birds near the top left corner flying in a highly nostalgic manner into the sunset. After she left, I casually deposited it on my shelf, and promptly forgot that it even existed.

Who would have thought that such a simple, innocent looking puzzle game would turn out to be such an important clue that helped decide the fate of, as that crazy-ass Russian put it, 'an infinity of timelines'? I shivered in my coat as I stepped outside into the cold January morning. Nobody said it was going to be snowing today!

And yet, there they were, the little flakes descending like dandruff freshly brushed off of Zeus' scalp or something like that. Yes, not exactly the most positive simile I could think of, but I wasn't really feeling positive about this snowfall. Now you're probably wondering where my school shoes are. Not to worry, they're safe in my bag. I brought a pair of snow boots with me today, and for good reason: the stuff was already in by several inches. Damn that clueless weather forecast.

Maybe Haruhi decided today would be a good day to go skiing or something. The fact is, however, that this was mostly wishful thinking on my part. She had called me at around 4AM, continuing to rant on about the case for the Return of the Knife-Hugging Psycho. This obsession has become something most unhealthy… for me, at least. Honestly, what is that girl thinking, always disturbing me at such ungodly times? Give me a break already. Don't you usually forget about some investigation if you wind up at a dead end? The thought of what she did after checking out the Computer Society President's apartment came to mind. 'It'll work itself out', she said, before strolling on home.

As I began the snow-infested trek up that cursed hill, I felt the familiar energetic slap on my back. Though judging from the intensity, it was a lot more energetic than usual. "Yo."

I was faced with the biggest idiot grin on Taniguchi's face since I'd met him.

"Guess who's got a date with the AA+ tonight!"

"Your brother?" Weak comeback, but enough to reflect my sentiment towards the idea. Taniguchi didn't even have a brother that I was aware of. The very thought of this poor bastard getting a date with anybody who even came close to scoring an 'A' on his personally designed list, hell, anybody worth dating at all, was exactly the same as the thought of seeing a day where Haruhi acted like a normal high school girl: an impossible dream.

"Very funny, Kyon!" a left jab into my shoulder. "I'm serious, man! I managed to bag Asakura yesterday!"

I'm sorry… did you just say 'Asakura'?

"That's right!" Taniguchi put a hand on the bicep of his raised right arm, as if posing for some imaginary camera. God, I wish somebody would wipe that annoying grin off his face. I didn't know why he was sporting a pearly white disposition that somehow made Haruhi's five-star smile almost pale in comparison. I don't even know how he was nearly able to beat something that could easily win an Oscar for 'best facial expression' or some similarly fictitious award. It was already blinding enough a moment ago. "You look surprised," he teased.

"I don't know what you're talking about." We passed by a full-size glass window store, and that's where I saw the inane reason. My face was twisted into something that I couldn't even begin to call an expression. My eyes were practically bugging and bulging out in a cartoonish manner, and I could swear my lower jaw was more or less dislocated like a snake's would, suspended by the flesh of my cheeks. If this were some manga, you could exaggerate that appearance, and maybe, with some proper shading and swirly lines at the right positions, give off a comedic effect that would make anybody laugh. I should try asking the Manga Club for some drawing tips so that I can immortalize this candid moment and burn multiple copies at the stake. I was so ashamed of how I looked. And that idiot Taniguchi was taking it as a compliment.

For all that's good and holy, Taniguchi, leave her. She'll kill you once it crosses her mind that your death might somehow provoke me into provoking Haruhi into provoking some kind of provocative activity that will provoke yet another of her speculated 'Golden Opportunities'. Now how many times did I just mention provoke or one of its variations there? But back on topic, it won't affect me at all.

"What won't affect you at all?" And now Taniguchi's eyebrow was arching upward, obviously having no idea what I was thinking aloud to myself about.

"Oh, no, it's nothing," I waved my hands as if to shrug it off, absurd expression of disbelief replaced with a nervous smile and laugh.

"Well, whatever. I don't have time to worry about your personal issues." Taniguchi shrugged and continued up the hill, looking as smug as he'll ever be. Just what was that psycho thinking, picking Taniguchi to go out with, of all people? Well, that's two girls I'll never fully understand…

When I got to the classroom, Haruhi didn't even wait for me to sit down before repetitively stabbing my back with her mechanical pencil. Her precision was uncanny in that the lead always struck the exact same spot. Either her eyes were sharp enough to see the little gray dot against the dark green background of my coat, or her hands were steady enough so as to hit that spot over and over again. "Hmm?"

"So what did you lose?"

I sighed. "This jigsaw puzzle my aunt gave me for my last birthday." Somehow, I get the feeling that that's not important enough to merit her consent to search.

"Three."

"What?"

"You now owe me three lunches for asking for help to look for something so pointless."

You're really being the penalty giver this week, you know that? Is this your latest punishment game or something? If I give the right answer, you reward me with a fine?

"Would you prefer doing ten laps around the field naked or taking a swim in the river tonight when it's at its coldest?"

"Well, that's uh…" I would salute your generosity in suggesting such alternatives, mein Führer, but with such choices, the only good selection is obvious.

"That's what I thought." She smirked. "Honestly, Kyon, don't waste my time for such petty reasons as wanting to play with a jigsaw puzzle."

Hey, I'm not the one who wants to play it. If you're looking for the culprit, here's a clue: she's short, acts a lot like you, and goes to elementary school.

"Oh, so it's your sister who wants to solve the jigsaw?" Haruhi stopped to think for a moment. "Fine then. I'll let you off with two lunches for now, but only because it's your sister who's looking for the puzzle."

Now why is it that her special mention saves me a meal's worth of allowance money? As I pondered this strange turn of events, though I can already think of a few reasons why Haruhi would do something so caring as giving me a discount for the sake of my sister, the bell for homeroom period rang, and Okabe-sensei, punctual as ever, stepped inside. I took a look at the front of the classroom and noticed something rather unusual. Taniguchi was walking back to his seat from the front… What the hell… Was he talking to Asakura or something?

That still-present look of smugness on his face told me all I needed to know. Jackass. I don't envy you at all. In fact, I feel very sorry for you. I can only pray that you don't end up with a knife in your gut within the next few hours. I glanced over at Kunikida, who was apparently now mirroring that comically cartoonish look that I had from the daily uphill battle. Hang in there, man. I know how you feel.

It was almost some twisted variation of Nagato's book-shutting ritual. Taniguchi sat down, and class began. I'm not about to start getting used to that, because it's too out of place to even try. How many periods did I spend staring at my open blank notebooks without writing a single character now? Yes, I was too distracted to do what I come to this damned school for in the first place. Now, at this point, I know I have to improve on my grades and all that, but seriously… with the kind of life I'm currently living, failing high school seems insignificant.

However, a certain classmate of mine demanded that I also had to take care of that part of my life. Why? For the simple, selfish reason that if I ended up as a lowly dropout, it would make her club look bad. Why don't you help do something about this and tutor me too, eh? Hell, I'll probably be able to get to know that bespectacled kid better if in your laziness, you decide to hold his tutorials alongside mine.

"Taniguchi seems to be looking more of an asshat than usual," she commented as the lunch bell rang.

Shouldn't you already be set to Warp 10 and on your merry way to the cafeteria by now?

"Normally, yeah. But don't you think it's strange? He's been smiling like that since this morning."

Ah, so you're also one to notice. Well, of course. How could this highly observant girl, who always has both eyes open in her search for the paranormal, miss something abnormal in a usually normal setting? "Eh, the idiot managed to land himself a date with Asakura tonight or something."

A bunch of startled heads, including mine, whirred around to look at Haruhi when her palms came crashing down onto her desk. This rather loud gesture, which seemed vaguely familiar, coincided with her practically screaming, "AHA! THAT'S IT!"

That's right! That's exactly what it is! Wait a second… why the hell am I agreeing with you on something that I can't even understand? Am I missing some vital point here? "What?"

She hunched over and pulled me back until my seat's backrest was doing some resting of its own on the edge of her desk, before whispering into my ear. "We'll get our info on the case by eavesdropping on their date…"

My reaction? Well, let's see… I remember seeing the same expression and stance on Taniguchi when he walked in on Nagato reconstructing the 1-5 homeroom after saving my ass from last May's reenactment of that Trilogy of Terror segment with the Zuni hunting fetish ('fetish' as in 'doll'). Something about having forgotten his stuff? You get the idea. "… What?"

"People usually have their guard down and are more susceptible to parapraxes while having conversations over dinner!"

I'm sorry… can you say that again? Parallel Practice…?

Exasperated, Haruhi threw her hands into the air as she yelled that Greek word again, "Parapraxes! Freudian slips! Jeez, Kyon! You really need to read more, you know that?"

Ah, right… the Freudian slip. But you can't really be serious about that, can you? I mean, last time I checked, you can't possibly get that many Freudian slips over something as mundane as dinner. You can't even get that much information from a single slip anyway.

"Collective release! One slip is related to the next… in that essence, we'll be able to get the info in tiny bits, piece them together, and make sense out of it."

So basically, you're expecting Asakura to slip at least a few times, each time giving us some kind of obscure clue, then treat it like a jigsaw puzzle. From what I can remember, solving mysteries such as this uses deductive reasoning…

"Sometimes, if you can't, you'll have to make use of inductive reasoning! Like a puzzle!"

"Okay, so let's say she does slip enough to give us a rough idea. Who's to say that the slips are about her transfer?" Now one facet of Haruhi's personality that I have come into contact with on several occasions, would be her uncanny ability to seemingly siphon the things she wants to hear out of what somebody says. It's this little bunch of words and phrases, perhaps even sentences, if a person is lucky, that make it through her ear canals and into her brain for processing. There are times, however, where none of what somebody says registers at all. Such skill in shooting down unwanted words more efficiently than an AEGIS Cruiser could take out unwanted ICBMs is truly worth merit! Had she been in command of SDI during the Cold War, the Americans could have attacked the Soviet Union without any fear of nuclear retaliation whatsoever!

Unfortunately, when this power is used against you, well… I hung my head. If ever she did take the effort to listen to what I said, it would probably be something on the lines of, "I got that feeling! All her slips are gonna have something to do with the transfer!" I decided to go back to the last point of the discussion where she was listening. "Speaking of puzzles…"

"Don't sweat it! We can search for your silly jigsaw this afternoon. Then tonight, we'll tail those two!"

"We? You intend on bringing the entire SOS Brigade with you to stalk a dating couple?"

"Of course not! I'm talking about you and me! We'll disguise ourselves as a couple and 'coincidentally' tag along."

Well, if we're talking pretend dates, then maybe we could make it a pretend group date with Koizumi and Nagato? Not that I'm actually asking for it, since those two no doubt have important matters to take care of, but even in disguise, you have no idea how scary it is to go out with you alone.

"What are you, crazy? Group dates attract too much attention! We won't be able to effectively eavesdrop on them that way!"

Now, I'm beginning to wonder how exactly we managed to lose everybody's attention after her two earlier outbursts. But as seemed the case, this was lunch period, and eating or talking with friends was a lot more important than paying attention to oddball Haruhi Suzumiya and her loyal cohort. 'You know, that guy who sits in front of her?' 'What's his name again? Kyon?' 'No, his real name!' 'Actually, not even his family gives a damn about his real name. I heard it was his sister who spread it around.' Seeing as her powers of persuasion were once again hitting me, I had no other option but to concede. "Alright, you win."

"Right! Just so you know, I'm dismissing you early today so I can get my hands on the disguises."

"Does that mean you think we'll find that puzzle quickly?" Now why the hell did I just state the obvious? This is Haruhi we're talking about here! You don't even have to give her a sliver of evidence about something, and her conviction will drive her to believe in it more than any martyr in history!

"With my foolproof item finding method, we'll find it in no time flat! Trust me, Kyon! Has my intuition ever failed us before?"

Not that I recall… nope. Does that mean we're good? I certainly hope so. Because right now, there's another you running around, probably messing with your intuition so that it leads us straight into whatever she's planning. Universal domination, or something like that. 'But that's not what it's all about'. Then what else could it possibly be about? Bah… "What method would that be, exactly?"

It took several hours before she came up with an answer. To be more specific, when she burst into the clubroom this afternoon. Haruhi was holding a pair of brazen L-shaped sticks in her right hand.

…

"Divining Rods?" My eyebrow shot up. You've got to be kidding me.

"Don't be silly, Kyon! Of course I'm serious!" Our commander playfully spun the brass wires around with her fingers. "When you asked me to help you look for something yesterday afternoon, I knew I had just the book for it!" She raised some thick, with a bright yellow and black cover, which read 'Dowsing for Dummies'.

I'll say it again. You've got to be kidding me. How can somebody possibly become an effective dowser after reading a beginner's manual anyway? But let's face it. This is the great Haruhi Suzumiya we're talking about. Some people have gone so far as to tell me she can do anything! Though with the way she was treating those divining rods… "So while you're off divining, what do you want us to do?"

"What you do is simple! Follow me!" Without further adieu, Haruhi positioned the rods parallel each other, and walked out.

I looked at the two other members that were present. Koizumi had his usual vacant smile as he started packing up the chessboard. Nagato didn't even bother to place a bookmark (does she even use them?) as she shut her book. I sighed as I glanced over at the tea brewing kit that was gathering dust in the corner. It was only Tuesday, and already I was craving for more of Asahina-san's divine tea.

My only respite from all the stress of this world, taken away from me just like that! No doubt, the other Haruhi had taken her out for this very reason! After all, she could have just as easily disabled Asahina-san's communications with the future as she did with Nagato and Koizumi's respective groups. It's just like Haruhi to use dirty tactics for her own personal gain…

Haruhi took a few moments to pause and lock the door before resuming the execution her 'foolproof item finding method'. We really had no other choice but to follow her down the hallway.

First stop, the cafeteria. The few students who had no clubs to speak of would pass after-class time here with some drinks and snacks before going home. Our fearless leader wound around tables, chairs, and students, making unexpected turns here and there.

Those who were there watched with a mix of curiosity, amusement, and a 'WTF' on their faces as Haruhi rounded the perimeter of the room one more time before going behind the counter. Wait, are we allowed back there?

"From the looks on the cafeteria lady's face, it seems that way," Koizumi surmised as he waved at the aforementioned staffer, who had that same 'WTF' on her face as everybody else here.

Honestly, does that look like a face that says 'come on in'?

"I was kidding."

It's not even funny…

The SOS-Brigade plowed into the kitchen. At this time, there wasn't much activity. The last batch of whatever was available was already at the counter. These guys in here, a skeleton crew, by the looks of it, were simply cleaning up for the day.

"You know…" a thought struck me as we continued to walk aimlessly in Haruhi's wake. "Isn't dowsing supposed to be for finding minerals and untapped ground water?"

"If it works in locating such important things as those, it's bound to work when searching for something as childish as a puzzle!"

But if the method itself is occult, with zero basis in science, wouldn't modern people consider that childish as well?

"The point is, Kyon," Haruhi never took her eyes off whatever absurd location the rods were leading her to, "Is that it works. I mean sure, divining rods were originally crafted to help dowse for minerals and water, but look at the modern applications! Espers use them to locate corpses when even the police dogs can't!"

And if the police occasionally rely on them that way, then that makes it practically sound, despite not being so to science?

"Exactly!" She faced (or rather, the rods led her to) one of the kitchen counters. This one in particular had leftover chopped cabbage that was going either into the trash or into the compost pit. It really depends, if the staffer in charge of cleanup was too lazy.

The rods crossed, and as exciting as that might sound, the most excited of this motley crew was none other than our ever-rowdy Brigade Commander. She tucked the parapsychology tools into her skirt pocket and pointed at the door of the counter closet. "It's in there!"

How am I supposed to believe that my jigsaw puzzle magically jumped from my house and into an under-counter storage space in the school kitchen? I shook my head as I followed Haruhi's finger down to the handles and pulled it open. The kitchen staff continued to stare as I peered inside. Stored up kitchen utensils, pots, pans, and maybe a cockroach or mouse hiding in some dark corner. Nope, no jigsaw puzzles here.

"What!?" Haruhi shoved me out of the way and examined it herself, going so far as to displace the neatly arranged contents, instead piling them on the tiled floor as she stuck her head and upper body inside. Upon merely confirming my earlier conclusions, she growled and, as quickly as she threw the tools outside, returned them to their places in perfect order, as though they had remained untouched.

"Perhaps they were improperly aligned?" Koizumi suggested.

It had always occurred to me that divining rods aligned themselves properly once you got into position. So how, pray tell, can they be not properly aligned?

"This might be the case," he continued. "I recall seeing this documentary where an esper detective was unable to find a corpse until the very end simply because he forgot to properly align his divining rods." That's gotta be the dumbest story I've ever heard. Images of some guy in a trench coat and fedora trying to 'adjust the alignment' of a pair of rods in his hands came to mind.

"The book says this is the proper alignment!" Haruhi countered.

I'm not really surprised that you also have the photographic memory to remember an illustration in a book or something. Still, it's a 'for dummies' book, and I'm sure it doesn't cover searching for missing objects instead of just minerals and water…

"It must be their charge!" She recovered the divining rods from her pocket and gave them a look that said 'I'm recharging their chi using energy from my own reserves!'

I shook my head in pity as I saw the kitchen staff continue their staring. While it was obvious that they had no idea what in God's name was going on, it was also pretty obvious that our sudden intrusion was bothering them. At the end of all this, Haruhi led us out of the kitchen and continued the search. It took us about half an hour to sweep at least three locations, two of them outside the school, until we finally came to Haruhi's 'best bet', the main library storeroom, that same library I had once taken Nagato. Tell me, if this was your best bet, then why the hell did we have to spend half an hour running around town like a bunch of idiots, searching in places that were less-than?

"I wanted to make absolutely sure!"

Figured you'd say that. The librarian paid us no heed and returned to performing her mid afternoon duties as we silently opened up the storeroom and stepped inside. It was a dusty old place, the kind that told you that nobody had been there in a long time. Webs were already coating several of the shelves that were inside. Termites probably had colonies in between the rat bitten pages of the books that lined them. Haruhi sallied forward to the very end of the room, and stopped when the rods crossed yet again.

Tucking them away into her skirt pocket, the great leader of the SOS Brigade looked down at her discovery. It was a large cube of sorts, plain black, with no decorations whatsoever. If this was some kind of box, then it must have some kind of manufacturing error. I can't see any means to open it at all.

"That's because it's a puzzle box!" Haruhi grinned as she crouched to the geometric shape's level.

So it's a puzzle box, eh? While I have no idea how to solve it, I can bet that Nagato would be able to figure out the fastest way to crack this little safe open. She probably didn't even need to solve it to open it up. Just a flick of her bogus magic and the thing would break open like an egg on the edge of a mixing bowl. "Now what are you doing?" I asked as Haruhi started fiddling with the thing.

She ran her fingers over the smooth black material in an almost perverted manner, stroking this side and that for the next several seconds. Finally, she stopped at the center and pushed down with both thumbs. You could imagine how surprised I was when the top half suddenly popped open, revealing its contents: a pile of assorted puzzles, on top of which lay a very familiar box… the interesting part in all of this was that that particular box was not at all dusty, as opposed to everything else in there. Would somebody actually go through all the trouble of stealing my jigsaw puzzle in the middle of the night just to put it there? I don't believe this…

"You know," Haruhi picked up the jigsaw box and casually said, "I remember somebody gave me one just like this some years ago."

"Was it at Tanabata?" I asked.

"How'd you know?" she shot me a suspicious glance.

"Wild guess," I lied. Don't tell me I'm going to have to go back to that night again and give her this stupid thing… "Who gave it to you?"

"My aunt," Haruhi paused to think. "Why are you so interested anyway?"

"It's nothing. Forget it." I waved her off.

"Well, here you go," she tossed the box at me and started out the door. "We're done for the day. I still have to get our disguises for tonight. Also, remember those two lunches!" And with that pointless reminder, that girl disappeared from sight, being so kind as to slam the storeroom door shut on her way out.

I looked closely at the box. This was definitely mine, alright. But why the hell am I going to give this over to Haruhi? She was obviously lying about her aunt giving it. I could tell. Well, it's not like I'd be missing it, but whatever. Knowing Asahina-san (big), the only explanation she would give me if I asked for an answer to 'why' was that it was predetermined. And so, to keep things in proper order, I'm going to have to give this stupid puzzle to her three and a half years ago. Sorry Sis, but there are more important things than your wanting to play with a puzzle you never even tried before.

"So this is 'Scribe'?"

Nagato didn't budge. It took approximately five seconds before she gave her reply. "I… don't know."

Well that's just great. Just what was the exact extent of your screwing around with Nagato, Haruhi? Don't tell me you deleted her ability to speak other languages too just because you thought it would be funny.

The interface shook her head. "I am still fully capable in communicating in all forms of organic and data-type information transfers." That's good to hear. "However, my abilities in determining whether or not a physical object is an avatar for a program have been disabled."

"It's entirely possible that this jigsaw puzzle is an indirect clue, something that will lead us to 'Scribe', but not 'Scribe' in itself." Koizumi mused. "The most sensible clue here is that 'Scribe', or at least its physical appearance, falls under the same set as this jigsaw puzzle."

"In short?"

"While this puzzle might not be 'Scribe'," Koizumi turned to look at the box full of assorted puzzles. A 15-puzzle, scattered Tangram, unsolved Sudoku table, slitherlink, Rubik's Cube, 10-piece Tower of Hanoi, and the scattered pieces of a 10-piece Soma Cube littered the inside of the puzzle box, all apparently waiting to be toyed with. Even if I did have the free time to do so, I'd rather not. Thinking, moreover solving puzzles, was never my strong spot anyway. "One of its companions might be it, or perhaps, all of them comprise a small portion of the program as a whole. Either way, with how things are looking right now, the only way we'll be able to ascertain this is if we activate 'Scribe'."

"And… how do you propose we do that?" That philosophical esper gave me the worst reaction he could possibly have. I bet he was practicing it at home to make himself more convincing. Koizumi shrugged.

I turned to look at the ever increasingly unreliable Nagato. Her hair swayed slightly, as if a miniscule gust of wind had swept through them. That would be a no. I sighed in defeat. This girl was a real pain in the ass no matter which timeline she's from. It was at that instant that my phone rang. Upon checking the screen, I was enlightened to the fact that the number was unfamiliar, something that struck me as odd.

I flipped it open and answered. "Who is this?"

"You forgot your shoes," the voice from the unidentified number said. Despite being unidentified, that voice was pretty familiar. Before I could ask and confirm it though, the call had already ended.

That point stressed out, I only realized now that I had indeed completely forgotten about the fact that my outdoor shoes were still in my shoe locker, ever since I put them there yesterday. Well this is great. I looked over at Koizumi and Nagato, who were still examining the trunk full of toys and games.

"Who was it?"

"Some concerned friend or something," I shrugged.

"I see…" the esper flipped the box of my previously missing jigsaw puzzle, analyzing it as if it were entirely new to him.

Isn't that Nagato's job? "Look, you guys just keep on figuring this problem out. I'll be back as fast as I can." That having been said, I made my run back to the school to finally switch shoes. Hopefully, I don't make such a scatterbrained mistake again.

Okay, so 'making my run back to the school' was easier said than done. It was still snowing, the little white flakes giving me this cold feeling that said they were planning something against me. The most intense part of this snowy battle was the trek uphill and back to North High. How many inches was the depth now? Ah, whatever. That's what these high-class snow boots are for!

I fought my way into the lobby and located my shoe locker, opening it. Knowing that I was opening it thanks to an odd tip I had gotten via a mysterious caller, I wasn't at all surprised by the fact that there was a note sitting on top of my outdoor shoes. What was surprising, however, was when I picked it up. There were actually two separate sheets of paper. One of them appeared to have been hurriedly cut out from a sheet of A4 paper with a pair of scissors, with some statement in Cyrillic printed on it. At the bottom of that was a long string of weird symbols. In a way, they seemed… almost like a signature of sorts, but what kind of idiot would write (or maybe print, since it was too neat to have been written) his signature in some confounded code language anyway? It's not like anybody else was going to see this letter aside from Nagato, Koizumi, and myself. I shrugged and pocketed it.

The other one was a more familiar style, ripped out of a notebook and with a direct-to-the-point message scribbled onto it. "Surrender 'Scribe' to me." The last time I had encountered such a letter was the day when I first started to take this whole crazy world seriously: when cheerful class monitor Ryoko Asakura tried to stab me with a combat knife. So let's have a recap here. The Russian, who may or may not work for the enemy, tells us that 'Scribe' is our only hope. Asakura, who has changed allegiances from her old boss in the Extremist Faction to the other Haruhi, wants me to 'surrender' 'Scribe', perhaps with threat of painful retaliation if I don't.

The way I see it is this: if Brezhnev is with us, and 'Scribe' is in fact our only hope, then Asakura is trying to get 'Scribe' so that we can't use it against her new boss, that is, the other Haruhi. If Brezhnev is with the enemy, and 'Scribe' is some kind of trap, then why would Asakura want to get it off our hands?

"Perhaps 'Scribe' poses as much a threat to her new employer as it does to our Suzumiya-san," Koizumi explained when I got back. And no, I didn't forget to put my outdoor shoes in my bag after stuffing the letters into my pocket. That issue has finally been solved. The two of them looked little different from when I left them, still standing on the same spots from about twenty minutes ago. "As such, it is her duty to protect her new employer at all costs, even if it means intentionally sparing our Suzumiya-san from a trap set by the enemy. She probably believes that such a loss is only minor, or can be compensated for."

So you're saying that she's not taking any chances? But then what if the trap is only for our Haruhi?

"Then either she is not aware of this fact, which is why she is attempting such a move, or 'Scribe' is indeed something we might be able to consider as our 'only hope', and she wishes to take it from us, possibly to destroy it."

That still doesn't improve our chances of surviving from the 50-50 thing. It's just gone from 'Scribe' being 'good or bad' to 'Scribe' being 'good or bad that may or may not be bad for the other Haruhi'. I could tell that something had been going on while I was gone, and that was evidenced by the fact that both Koizumi and Nagato had a pile of books at their feet. You're reading at a time like this?

"I tried searching these books for a solution to our current quandary."

And I can tell that you haven't had any luck. "Anyway, Nagato, it looks like the Russian left me something to read…" I took the first piece of paper from my pocket, handing it over to her. "But I'm not really good at anything other than Japanese and maybe a bit of English."

Nagato took one look at the tiny Cyrillic printout and gazed into my eyes, as if trying to convey some kind of telepathic message. If you were me, you could easily tell how uneasy she felt just by looking at her eyes. The darkness within them swirled with anxiety that only I could read. You think somebody could start paying me for translating what her eyes were saying about her emotions. I mean, it takes a lot of practice for somebody to be able to read somebody so seemingly robotic as Yuki Nagato, and believe me, I've had plenty of it.

"Make the purpose count," was all she said, before returning to her usual state of silence.

Now let's have faith in Nagato's translation! After all, she did reassure us that she was still proficient in all types of languages, so it should be something to rival even the professional translation services offered online. Babel Fish is nothing compared to her! Of course, in light of this newfound knowledge, I realized… what does that even mean? And what about the weird symbols? Nagato shook her head in her usual nigh-undetectable way. No clue for you either, eh?

"Haruhi Suzumiya has selectively disabled several of my decryption libraries." I stared at her blankly for a few seconds before she dumbed down her statement. "I am no longer capable of deciphering coded messages such as this."

"So it's a coded message? Who would want to put a coded message there anyway? And why?"

The interface shook her head again. Oh well… I'd better let this issue slide, since apparently, nobody here will be able to explain this code thing to us. Nagato began to stare at the boxful of puzzles. Never seen one of these before?

Koizumi pitched in his two cents. "We can assume that Brezhnev-san had this situation in mind when he printed that clue." Leave it to Itsuki Koizumi to make perfect sense out of a perfectly senseless statement found printed in an Eastern European language on a quarter of an A4 sheet of paper and stashed in some average Joe's shoe locker. "So now then, if we apply this clue to this situation, what do you suppose he means by telling us to 'make the purpose count'?"

Q&A time eh? Well, the purpose of crazy hunt is to find 'Scribe'. As far as I can tell, we're making it count as much as we can.

"True. That situation is currently serving its purpose. However, the current situation is not to find 'Scribe', but to activate it. That is to say, in order to definitively locate the program, we must figure out how to activate it first."

"Well, you already said that 'Scribe' might be one of these puzzle games. I still don't get how we're going to make the purpose of activating 'Scribe' count, though." For once, Koizumi just nodded in agreement.

"I must admit, I'm as stupefied as you are."

The sudden clattering of multiple pieces of puzzle toys on the floor broke the atmosphere. Koizumi and I turned to see Nagato crouched next to the puzzle box, her right hand apparently preparing to reach inside. Around her, the puzzle toys lay scattered. I was somewhat confused at how something like that happened, until the alien tried to pick up one of the pieces of the Soma Cube. The wooden construct flew off in the opposite direction, as though Nagato's fingers were the ends of a magnet that had a like pole with the piece. She moved so fast that she practically teleported to the other side of the room to intercept the cuboid with her hand, which still somehow managed to escape her grasp and flew off in my direction. I had to duck to avoid it. It looks like that Soma piece has a stigma for alien interfaces.

That wasn't all. I also noticed how all the other puzzle games moved away from her in the exact same manner, as though an angry club of poltergeists was trying to keep Nagato from touching them.

"A most bizarre occurrence indeed," Koizumi commented. "The only reason I see for something like this to happen, is if the other Suzumiya-san wishes for it."

"Why would the other Haruhi play such a prank?"

"I think I understand what's happening now."

"Please, enlighten me," I kept an eye on Nagato as she pounced from one shelf to another, trying to catch the flying puzzle pieces. Despite her superhuman speed and reaction time, the things still managed to avoid her grasp. This is really starting to weird me out. "Uh… Nagato… could you um… stop chasing the game pieces please? It's… a little unnerving."

Like a trained soldier who lives for nothing but following orders, Nagato stopped and, as quickly as she had left it, returned to the spot where she was standing, any nearby pieces flying away from her.

"Why would the other Suzumiya-san try to keep Nagato-san from touching these pieces?"

"Hell should I know." That girl has a twisted sense of humor that could just as easily be the reason for this as any sort of ulterior motive.

"I would bet that Nagato-san has already figured out the meaning of the message, am I not right?"

"You are not mistaken."

"That's what I thought. To 'make the purpose count', was written in reference to these games, correct?"

"Yes."

"Therefore, the way to activate, and inevitably, find 'Scribe', is to solve its puzzle. And since Nagato-san's puzzle-solving skills are the most advanced amongst the three of us, the other Suzumiya-san has prevented her with making physical contact with them as she would no doubt, try solving them."

Okay, so let's see here… I took the jigsaw box and opened it. The pieces were all scattered inside, alright. Since Nagato here is our best bet at solving all these puzzles, the other Haruhi is keeping her from even touching them?

"That's what I said."

"But what if she tried to solve the puzzles via data manipulation?"

As though taking that as a cue, Nagato stretched out her hand in the general direction of the jigsaw puzzle, and started chanting. The pile of cardboard cutouts seemingly melted and coalesced into a single mound of goo, which stretched out to cover the inside of the box. I watched with interest as the picture on the cover slowly materialized, followed by the jigsaw lines that said it was a puzzle and not just a pretty painting. The moment all activity stopped, however, the perfectly assembled jigsaw puzzle exploded, sending puzzle pieces in all directions. So she thought of that too, eh?

I picked up the scattered puzzle pieces one by one. It was when I had picked up the last one when Koizumi tapped my back. "What?"

He held in his hand, a completed Soma Cube. "Apparently, we have been allowed to do the puzzle-solving. But with time going against us, might I suggest something else?"

"And you would be suggesting…"

Basically, he had suggested that we ask Nagato to coach us in solving the puzzles to save us time. Surprisingly enough, the other Haruhi hadn't scrambled her puzzle-solving skills, and we soon found ourselves breezing through the puzzle games like they were child's play. This was really starting to bug me. She seemed to be doing many unnecessary and no doubt, more complicated moves in lieu of the simpler, more obvious ones. Why erase Asahina-san from the timeline if she could just disable her communications? Why challenge me to stop her if she could just kill me on the spot? Why keep the puzzle pieces away from Nagato if she could just disable her puzzle-solving skills?

It was almost five o'clock when another complication happened. Left with the Tower of Hanoi, a sheet of Five-Star-Difficulty Sudoku, and a Rubik's Cube, we seemed to be well on our way to finding 'Scribe' via process of elimination. None of the other puzzles, my jigsaw included, created any form of indicator that it was a program. Nagato suddenly stopped giving out instructions as if she had been frozen on the spot. When I looked at her questioningly, she merely shook her head.

"Haruhi Suzumiya has disabled my puzzle-solving abilities."

Okay, maybe it was a late reaction and she only thought of doing it now. Of course, it puzzled me even more that the Tower of Hanoi, which, just an hour ago, was flying away like every other puzzle, actually managed to stay in Nagato's arms when she picked it up. "What the…"

"Perhaps the other Suzumiya-san has realized how much more convenient it is to disable Nagato-san's puzzle-solving skills, as she had not considered us asking for her guidance?"

"She would have done that earlier if that were the case. Besides, why would she permit Nagato to touch the toys now? Wouldn't that just take more effort? Something smells fishy here…"

"Hmm… you're right…" Koizumi rubbed his chin, and looked like he was about to say something, when my phone rang again.

It was you-know-who.

"Kyon, why the hell aren't you home yet!? I told you I was heading over to your house to give you your disguise before we left! I've been waiting here since Four fifteen!"

Being unable to think of any excuse at all, I just mouthed out the first thing that popped into my head. "We're still at the library, solving puzzles."

"What are you, nuts!? Now's not the time to be playing games! One of our classmates told me when and where Asakura and Taniguchi are going out for their date tonight! Six O'clock at some high-class restaurant near Tsuruya-san's house! Do you have any idea what time it is?"

I checked the little clock on my phone. "Four fifty-eight?"

"Exactly! We can't waste time if we want to catch them! Haul your ass back here RIGHT NOW!" With that, Haruhi ended the call. I sighed in defeat. This is crazy.

"Might I suggest that each of us take one puzzle home and try to solve it?" Koizumi checked his watch. "The library closes in a few minutes, anyway. It's pointless for us to stay here."

"Right." I nodded and absentmindedly picked up the Rubik's Cube. "What's easier?"

"The Tower of Hanoi should be simpler than a Sudoku table of this complexity," the esper answered. "Are you suggesting that Nagato-san take the easier one to compensate for her disabled puzzle-solving skills?"

"My thoughts exactly." Paying no heed to what the two of us were talking about, Nagato picked up the sheet of paper with the Sudoku table on it. What the hell was she trying to prove? "Oi, Nagato…" She gave me a look that said to get off her case. Yuki Nagato wasn't giving up that Sudoku any sooner than we were giving 'Scribe' up to Asakura. "Alright… you can have the Sudoku." I looked at Koizumi. "Anything else you'd like to say?" He shrugged. In that case, I guess it's time to go. After placing the solved puzzles back in the box (save my jigsaw), we exited the storeroom and quietly left the library.

TBC…

AN: Ironically, what was supposed to be the shorter second half of a chapter ended up longer than it… --; Anyway, I'm sorry for the delay in updating. Some things are going on in my RL that have prevented me from finishing this sooner. Anyway, don't forget to review! I need comments/constructive criticism to make this thing better, you know? And, as a sort of promise that I'll try updating on time, here's a li'l sumthin' sumthin':

"Hey, Kyon, I almost forgot to tell you that you have to return that suit I borrowed from-" My blood ran cold when I realized who the owner of the voice was. "What's going on here?"

Haruhi had decided to come back to pitch one of her famous follow-up lines… what's worse, was that it was at such an inconvenient time. With the sight of Nagato standing in front of me to act as a shield from Asakura, who was just about to jump us with her combat knife, who knows what that girl was going to think?

Asakura was the first to talk. While apparently surprised, she still had the guts to look like everything was under control. "Ah, Suzumiya-san! I was just about to demonstrate my proficiency with knives to your friends over here!" She began to toy with the knife in an almost professional manner, balancing the tip on her fingernail, or flailing it around in controlled, calculated swipes.

"Where'd you pick up that skill?" Haruhi raised her eyebrow, obviously suspicious. "Canada?"

The knife fetishist scratched the back of her head with her free hand and nodded with a nervous laugh as if an embarrassing secret of hers had been revealed. "That's right. Canada."