AN: songs used in this chapter are If I Dream by Rupaul and Boy is a Bottom by Willam Belli which is actually a parody of Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys. You might want to Youtube them for reference, though just a warning there are raunchy sections of Willam's parody.
X
Instead of letting it hurt or devastate him Kurt had - thanks to Santana's words of encouragement - decided to accept and wear his crown with pride for the rest of the night.
If they wanted to give him a crown he decided he was going to own it with everything he was. Shuffling off to cry in a corner and crumble into himself, that was exactly what they wanted Santana had said. Knowing this to be true Kurt thought that the best revenge, the best screw you was to stand tall and proud and shante his ass in front of the entire student body.
Everyone who had voted for him had all thought that to be a queen was somehow disgusting or demeaning but Kurt knew better. As did Santana.
To be a queen you had to be brave, you had to be strong, you had to be a star, anointed by the universe, destined for greatness. And one day he was going to show all of them, all of those small minds, just what a queen could do and accomplish. This, he knew as he found Santana's face out in the crowd of people, was only the beginning.
Just like the song said.
And so with a new resolve, determination and fire Kurt had danced the rest of the night away with Blaine and Brittany as well as the rest of the glee club members who had shown their own support after the fact. Many of the glee clubbers had come up to make sure that he knew that they had his back in all of this as he took this negative and reclaimed it for himself as a positive. Reclaiming it meant rejoicing, celebrating and dancing in the spotlight with Blaine until their feet were sore and their faces hurt from laughter.
When the evening winded down he found himself waiting outside with Santana for Blaine and Brittany to drive around with their respective vehicles. It was there on the sidewalk just outside of Mckinley under the stars that Santana inspected and admired the crown as it sparkled on top of his head.
''To quote the Ru song you wear it well,'' Santana laughed.
''I do, don't I?'' Kurt replied to her, preening a bit in front of her. He was in a much better state of mind than he had been earlier.
''Who would've thought,'' she sighed in wonderment. ''Out of everyone, out of all the infinite possibilities, you and Jinkx were both crowned queens this year.''
Kurt let out an airy chuckle. It was strange and unexpected and completely ridiculous and perhaps if this had happened before, before Santana became his friend, before they bonded over Drag Race, before any of it, it might have been able to break his spirit and shatter him completely. But it hadn't. Once he decided he wasn't going to let it dictate or control him he felt a sense of empowerment.
Scattered among episodes there were messages there in the show that he had tucked away in his heart, about how to navigate friendships, life, love and the world at large. The most important message it had imprinted on him was that as a young gay man sometimes the family one was born into wouldn't always be there or if they were they wouldn't always understand but that there was refuge and comfort in going out into the world and finding your own family within your own community.
We get to choose our family Rupaul told a queen in season five who had been abandoned by her mother.
When Santana had found him in the hallway and with tears in her eyes had quoted Jinkx Monsoon, he knew then that whether he liked it or not, whether she liked it or not, Santana Lopez would always be family to him.
And that, that more than anything gave him that extra bit of strength he needed in order to take her hand and pull himself back up. Knowing that made it just a little bit easier to walk back into that room and demand to be crowned in front of all to see because queens didn't cower and cry, they ruled with dignity and poise.
In that moment he had been so hurt and humiliated that he had forgotten that important lesson. It took Santana's words to make him remember that.
Jinkx never gave up on herself in her season on her journey to win the crown, and Kurt wasn't about to let down his most favorite queen. And he didn't.
''I don't think anybody in that room is ever going to forget the name Kurt Hummel,'' he said proudly back on the sidewalk.
Santana smiled. ''Good.''
''Do you and Brittany have any plans after this?''
''Brittany and I were invited to a couple of parties a few days ago but they all sounded kind of lame. My parents are conveniently out of town again though so we were just going to stay in at my place.''
Kurt hummed pleasantly. ''That's sweet.''
''That was the plan anyways…'' Santana paused and gave him a devilish grin. ''But then we got to talking tonight and Brittany had a pretty genius idea.''
''What?'' Kurt asked with a wince, he was both intrigued and terrified. Santana's ideas were often wild, he had to imagine Brittany's ideas were probably Tammie Brown level strange.
''She said that since we have my house to ourselves we should do something big to like celebrate your coronation or whatever.''
''My coronation?''
''That's what Brittany said.''
''What kind of celebration are we talking about here?''
''House party at mine, are you in or what?'' she cut to the chase.
''A party?''
''I talked to some people. Glee club is in, the jazz band is in, some Cheerios who said you helped them shape their eyebrows when you were on the squad last year said they were in, a bunch of randoms got word too so who knows who else will show up. What do you say? Cause I already sent Puck and Finn on a beer run, plus Tina, Mike and Mercedes volunteered to go on a snack run.''
Kurt was stunned and moved. He shook his head as he tried to find the words. Laughter spilled out of him when he finally did. ''A party...a party in my honor? Are you sure about this?''
''Was Raven robbed of the Season 2 crown? Hells yes. I'm sure about this.''
''I appreciate the gesture of course but it's not necessary. I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything for me tonight, you've already done plenty. I'm sure you were planning on having some romantic time with Brittany tonight.''
Santana laughed inwardly at his phrasing and tone. ''Hummel you aints gots to worry, alright, I'm still getting laid regardless. I mean I just got laid in the girls bathroom like twenty minutes ago and let's be real I'm probably gonna get laid again sometime later tonight, I'm cool, Brittany is cool.''
''Really?''
''Hey it's not every day one of our friends becomes royalty.''
For someone who claimed to be cold and unfeeling Santana was really one of the most thoughtful people he had ever known. Bitch still refused to use a coaster on his coffee table during their viewing nights when he asked her to but, when it came to the big things he was beginning to see she would always be in his corner.
How could he refuse a party where he was guest of honor?
When Blaine and Brittany arrived a few minutes later they talked it out. Santana told Kurt and Blaine to give her, Brittany and the rest of the glee clubbers a half hour to prepare her house for the festivities. It was no kind of proper celebration if he didn't have a grand entrance and in order to do that, they needed him to wait a little while until they had a few things in order. With that Brittany and Santana buckled themselves up and drove off, leaving Kurt to doddle along with Blaine.
The two of them opted to take a slow meandering drive around town while they killed time. Eventually as the half hour mark approached Kurt guided Blaine to the Lopez residence. When they arrived there were already dozens of vehicles parked in front of it so Blaine parked his car several houses down. There wasn't any music playing and no huge commotion but through the windows they both observed a good deal of movement from within the house. They sat for several minutes.
''I live five blocks from here,'' Blaine noted casually as he glanced around the neighborhood.
''Yeah,'' said Kurt with a nod.
Blaine made a small strange noise with his mouth.
''What?''
''I guess I always just assumed she was…''
Kurt raised his eyebrows questioningly. ''Was…?''
''How can I phrase this delicately,'' Blaine continued in a gentle tone. ''I assumed she was from an area with a generally lower income bracket.''
''You mean you thought she was poor?''
''I didn't say that.'' Blaine shifted in his seat uncomfortably. ''But judging from the way she often acts and speaks…'' he went quiet and made a wave with his hands. ''I suppose I wasn't expecting her to be one of my neighbors.''
Kurt tried to hide the flinch on his face. He knew Blaine wasn't trying to be judgemental at heart but his boyfriend did have an air of privilege about him on occasion. ''The one thing I've learned from spending time with Santana is that you can never assume anything about her. I know she can come off as rather abrasive but...she's become one of my best friends this year. One of my best squirrel friends.''
Unfamiliar with the phrase or the endearment behind it Blaine wrinkled up his face. ''Squirrel what?''
''Nothing.'' Kurt sighed at his boyfriend's inability to get the joke.
''Sorry,'' Blaine softened and shook his head at his own words. ''I didn't mean to insult her. I actually really like Santana and Brittany for that matter. They make a really cute couple.''
''That I agree with, although it's a little less cute when one of them is groping the other on my couch but, they really are good together.''
Blaine reached over to take Kurt's hand and give it a squeeze. ''I'm glad you have them to watch your little show with too.''
Hearing Blaine dismiss Drag Race as his ''little show'' made Kurt's heart sink slightly with disappointment.
Early on it had taken Kurt a few months into their relationship to share his Drag Race obsession with Blaine. Part of him had hoped that his boyfriend would embrace the show along with him but realistically he knew it wasn't everyone's cup of tea so when Blaine showed no real interest in sharing it Kurt took it on the chin.
Lots of couples had different hobbies and interests and there was nothing wrong with that he told himself. After all his own father was an avid football fan while Carole was really into something called fairy gardening (Santana giggled every time it was mentioned in his household) and neither of them ever displayed any interest in learning about the other's passions. Then again his father and Carole did seem to at the very least respect the other's hobby. Even though Carole never once sat down to watch a football game with Burt and even though Burt never once sank his hands into soil to garden along with Carole they made the effort to support these things in other ways. Burt would sometimes come home with an interesting little piece of decor for Carole's fairy garden just because he had been in a home improvement store and saw it in the lawn ornament section. Carole would occasionally bring home a trinket she saw in a gas station or in the grocery store simply because it had the logo of Burt's favorite football team printed on it. Kurt knew it was perfectly healthy for couples to have their own separate interests in life.
He just really wished that Blaine would show the slightest bit of respect for his.
Blaine himself had never bothered to watch the show. When he first revealed the show to his boyfriend Kurt had shown him a promo video or two and Blaine had smiled but expressed disinterest. He had said it looked ''silly'' and ''campy''. Kurt had tried to reason that while yes parts of it were silly and campy there were other more impactful and powerful components of the show, and that even if there wasn't there was still nothing wrong with being silly or campy. Those weren't bad things. Still Blaine insisted that Drag Race simply wasn't for him. He had never bothered to give the show a chance and while he didn't quite mock the series when it still came up in conversation Kurt always sensed a certain dismissiveness in his tone. Blaine often referred to the show as ''cute'' or ''goofy''.
Sometimes when it came up in conversation Kurt would get a little excited and carried away talking about it and Blaine would give him this look, as if Kurt were some silly child Blaine was required to indulge.
It always made Kurt feel small and more than a little foolish. It was also perhaps part of the reason why it was a little hard to watch Brittany come to be a part of their little Drag Race family. He was happy that she and Santana were happy of course but there had been one or two occasions where it was hard to watch Brittany sit there on the other side of the couch cuddling with Santana and simply supporting her girlfriend by being there.
It made him a little sad that he couldn't share this thing that he was really and truly passionate about with the person he was closest too.
Still aside from that things were generally good between he and Blaine. They did have a very minor tiff when Blaine actually said he would attend the reunion special and crowning ceremony at the end of season five because it was a special event for Kurt only to bail and claim he had Warblers duties he couldn't get away from. He had apologized profusely and Kurt had accepted it and moved on because in the grand scheme of things it wasn't such a big deal he told himself. He had a sweet and handsome boyfriend who was proud to hold his hand, why bother stressing or sulking about anything else he convinced himself.
''It means a lot that you came tonight,'' Kurt said as they continued to sit in the car. ''I know you were hesitant for your own reasons and I want you to know how much it means to me.''
Blaine smiled and blinked. ''Of course.''
''So...are you sure you're up for this?''
''I'm here with you. No matter what.'' Blaine leaned over the console as if to offer a kiss but paused when Kurt's phone went off and his ringtone began sounding off to the tune of Alicia Keys hit song Girl on Fire. Kurt automatically recognized the voice of Willam Belli.
This boy is a bottooooom, this boy is a bottooooom, bottom, bottom, bottom, this boy is a bottooooom, this boy is a bottom, bottom, bottom.
Blaine squinted in confusion. Kurt closed his eyes and half laughed, half grumbled. ''Damn it Santana is always changing my ringtone to Willam's stupid songs.''
''Who's Willam?''
Kurt didn't respond to Blaine, instead he simply answered the call. ''What have I told you about changing my ringtone? Also while that Willam song is funny it is not entirely accurate and for the record Santana, you don't exactly have any room to be making fun of bottoms considering that from everything I've unfortunately had to witness you're the biggest bottom I've ever known.''
''You shut your mouth,'' Santana sassed with affection.
''Excuse me! Is that any way to speak to your reigning prom queen?'' he sassed right back.
''Whatever. Are you here?''
Kurt glanced at Blaine as he replied. ''Yeah, we're just sitting in the car down the street.''
''Well we're set up now so whenever your highness feels like gracing us with his presence you can mosey your royal ass on over.''
Kurt quickly ended the call and he and Blaine exited their vehicle and started for Santana's house which was still oddly quiet considering it was most likely filled with a few dozen teenagers judging from all the cars out front.
''You ready?'' Blaine asked as he touched the doorknob.
Kurt touched the crown on his head, moving it just so it sat on top of him perfectly before giving him a confident nod. ''I'm ready.''
Blaine twisted the knob and pushed the door open and in the next second they were both bombarded with bombs of confetti and ear piercingly loud music. The Beginning, Jinkx's crowning song, blasted forth as everyone in the room hooted, hollered and applauded as Kurt stepped inside. Tina and Mercedes were the first to approach him, greeting him with a couple of hugs, high fives and pats on the shoulder.
''What is going on?'' Kurt asked loudly and through laughter.
None of his fellow glee clubbers answered him and instead insisted that all would be revealed once they completed their duty to see that he made his way in to his throne.
''Throne?'' he questioned as he was gently nudged forward further into the house through the crowds of people.
Before he knew it he was being helped up onto a high backed cushioned chair that was placed onto wide sturdy wood coffee table. His throne looked like it was a fancy dining chair decorated with a red tablecloth but he grinned at the thought of it all. Standing below were several dozen classmates who he had always been on good terms with as well as a bunch of Cheerios he had been friendly with during his brief time on the squad but scattered amongst them there was also Sam and Mike and Lauren and Artie, Quinn, Finn, Puck and Rachel. Blaine was only a few feet away as well, clapping proudly along with the others.
''Alright, alright, alright, will you bitches be quiet already,'' Santana shouted into a mic as she pushed her way through people to Kurt's throne. She had changed out of her prom outfit into one of her trademark body contouring mini dresses. She stepped onto the coffee table in order to be seen properly as she addressed the room thanks to the nearby karaoke machine and speakers. It took a few moments for everyone to eventually hush and that's when she began again. ''We are gathered here tonight to honor our new reigning queen, Mr. Kurt effing Hummel. And I just want to make it clear if you're one of those people who think being a queen is disgusting or deviant or whatever you can just march your basic ass out of here cause we ain't having that here, okay? Tonight we're here to dance and laugh and get our drink on and celebrate. I don't want to see any disrespect up in my house tonight and if there is I've given Lauren and Puck the authority to boot you so best know that. Now that I've made that clear, drinks are in the kitchen, food is in the dining room help y'alls broke ass selves. Friendly reminder that by the end of the night each and every one of you are required to come and curtsy in front of our new queen. Also, if anyone breaks any of my shit I will key your fucking car. Now let's party!''
Despite the fact that Santana's speech was sprinkled with a small threat or two the room applauded and everyone began to disburse. Some made their way to the drink station in the kitchen while others opted to grab some snacks from the dining room, many others remained on the floor of the living area which was operating as the dance floor for the evening.
''Santana, are you out of your mind?'' Kurt asked, motioning out to everything. ''I don't know how but there has to be close to a hundred people here. I can't believe you.''
''Right, I'm amazing,'' she said as if greatly impressed by her efforts.
Brittany suddenly appeared, moving towards them with a tray. Like Santana she too looked like she had changed into something a little more easier to move and dance in. ''Shots for your majesty,'' she said in offering, doing a sort of bow before picking up a shot glass and handing one to Kurt, and then a couple more to Blaine and Santana before taking one for herself.
''Wait, I want to make a toast,'' Santana announced to them, raising her tiny glass up. ''To our charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.''
Brittany and Kurt immediately got the reference and clinked their glasses in approval. Blaine meanwhile just smiled cluelessly and knocked his shot back.
For the first hour or so as people danced all around, Kurt sat up on his throne as his classmates and friends took turns coming up to chat with he and Blaine, sometimes they even brought drinks and snacks in offering. It was kind of relieving and satisfying to talk to classmates he knew of but had never quite properly met until tonight. It meant a lot to him to see that not everyone in Mckinley had that kind of hate or poison in their heart. There was a girl on the cheer squad who said she was going to break up with her snot of a boyfriend for voting for Kurt. Even Jacob Ben Israel had discreetly approached him and offered to look into who - if anyone specific - was behind the write in prom queen debacle. Kurt however told him to not waste his time, that what was done was done and he wasn't going to waste another second on the people behind all of that nastiness.
Kurt had more pressing matters to worry about. Especially when Santana said that his crown came with responsibilities such as judging the impromptu Lipsync for Your Life battle that started out of nowhere when without even being told to Sam and Puck started dancing and lip syncing to a Maroon 5 song. They had somehow commanded the entire dance floor as the rest of the party goers moved aside to watch and shout them on, encouraging each of them to outdo the other in terms of dance moves and overall presence. They took turns trying to show each other up, doing jumps and body rolls and in a desperate attempt to get more cheers for himself Sam lifted his shirt briefly to show off his abs. In the end, Puck just couldn't keep up energy wise and fizzled out.
Santana nudged Kurt to declare a winner. It was only right and obvious that he gave the win to Sam who lifted up his hands in glory as the room clapped for his performance. Sam's moment of triumph was short lived however when Santana said they were going to make it a real competition.
''This is called Lipsync For Your Life! The rules to this game are simple,'' Santana explained to the crowd. ''You lip sync against an opponent and at the end of the song Kurt will tell one person 'shante you stay' and the other will have to 'sashay away'. The person who shantes will face a new lip syncer with a new song.''
''Also in the case of a double shante,'' Kurt spoke up, ''in which I can't decide a clear winner I'll ask the two lip syncers to perform another song together.''
''Yes!'' Santana shouted, delighted that Kurt was getting into the spirit of things. ''On top of that Kurt also has the authority to declare a double sashay.''
Out in the crowd Rachel raised her hand. ''What's a double sashay?''
''That means I think both lip syncers performed poorly and I can send both of them away and two new players will take their place,'' Kurt answered matter of factly.
''At the end of the night someone will be named the ultimate lip sync assassin,'' Santana told the room. ''Last person standing wins bragging rights...and a bottle of their choosing out of my dad's liquor cabinet. Who's ready?''
And so the game began, with a majority of the glee club eager to take part. Even if it wasn't actual singing it was a type of performance. Sam had won the first round against Puck, but after that Tina had stepped up to battle him. Using his phone via bluetooth Kurt controlled the song selection through the sound system. To make it fair for them both he decided upon Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland which allowed them to amp it up and play towards the crowd as well as each other in a funny flirtatious way. But this time around no amount of abs or body rolls could save Sam, Tina triumphed and Sam had to sashay away. From there Tina also managed to knock Quinn out during a rendition of I Wanna Go by Britney Spears. Tina probably would've went further had the next song not been a Celine Dion standard and had Rachel not been her next competitor. Rachel beamed when they were both told they would be lip syncing to My Heart Will Go On, and even informed the audience that she was fairly certain she was conceived to that specific song.
''Gross!'' Brittany hollered from the side of Kurt's throne.
Tina was an adequate lip syncer but Rachel however was just more skilled in the art of giving trademark obnoxious overly dramatic Celine Dion faces the singer was known for during performances. Rachel shante'd and Tina sashayed away. Mercedes stepped up to be the next contender. Sadly for Rachel their song was It's Not Right But It's Okay by Whitney Houston. Needless to say Mercedes was able to bring more passion and soul to her lip sync as she evoked the spirit of Whitney in her performance. After that and without much effort Mercedes knocked out Artie and Finn. And that's when Santana stepped in to challenge.
Kurt thought he would make it interesting and give them a truly challenging and iconic song and so Santana found herself battling Mercedes to Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. It was intense and lively as they each poured everything they had into it, dancing and mouthing the words with fire and conviction. They strutted around the dance space performing for Kurt who watched them closely, paying attention to their every move and breath. When it was all said and done and the music faded Mercedes and Santana were panting slightly from exertion. Mercedes fanned her face while Santana soothed her own locks back into place. The crowd remained silent in anticipation of Kurt's decision. Kurt meanwhile studied them in an intense silence, channeling Rupaul during Drag Race eliminations.
''Santana Lopez...shante you stay,'' Kurt announced.
''Yes! In your face!'' Santana playfully stuck her tongue out at Mercedes who only rolled her eyes in response.
Kurt held up a hand making it known he wasn't quite done speaking. ''Mercedes Jones...shante you also stay!''
''WHAT?!'' Santana comically huffed. ''You're gonna double shante us?! That is some bullsh-''
''The time has come for you to LIPSYNC FOR YOUR LIIIIFEEE….again,'' Kurt instructed them to go for another round against each other.
Kurt was generous enough to give them a few moments to recover before he pulled up the next song for them. Again, because he thought they were both incredibly talented he wanted to give them a classic. He chose Natalie Cole's This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) to which Santana openly scoffed. ''Ah hell, she's gonna Dida Ritz my ass,'' Santana sighed to herself.
And she was right. Mercedes totally Dida Ritz'd her ass good.
And so Mercedes was declared the ultimate lip sync assassin of the glee club. Kurt even made a big production of her winning moment, taking her by the hand and raising it up in victory as the rest of party goers cheered. Brittany even presented her with a sash that consisted of paper towels and a large piece of cardboard where she had taken a sharpie and drew on it to make it look like a giant check for ''one hundred thousand duhlahs''. Mercedes didn't quite get that joke but she basked in the attention and the applause all the same.
Kurt also announced that as the winner Mercedes got a little quality time on his throne and left her to it because after watching the others get down he really wanted to get in a dance or two. With a smile he hopped down and together with Blaine took to the dance floor to join the rest of the party goers.
Santana, meanwhile, had since made her way to a corner where she began to lick her wounds. She was drowning her sorrows by knocking back drink after drink. ''That shouldn't have been a double shante, I won that first round fair and square,'' Santana said weepily in Brittany's arms.
''Well,'' Brittany began quietly and soothingly as she petted Santana's hair. ''Maybe Kurt will want to do an All Stars version of the game and bring you back.''
Santana sobbed again. ''Oh god, Brittany, I hate Drag Race All Stars Season 1, why would you remind me of that?'' if anything that made the tears rush out harder and faster. Rivers of tears streamed down her face making her look adorably ridiculous. After all the first rule of Drag Race was you do not talk about All Stars Season 1. ''It was such a disappointment, there was no Shangela and no Willam. Who was there instead? Mimi Imfirst, Mimi Imfirst was number three in the voting I could not believe it!''
Brittany just hugged her girlfriend and rubbed her back calmly. ''There there, there there.''
Santana eventually stopped crying when Brittany started letting her do body shots off of her. It was really hard for Santana to be upset when her tongue was tracing the tiny indentations of Brittany's abs. Of course body shots turned into making out and making out turned into some light grinding and light grinding turned into them sneaking out the back and into the Lopez pool house and making use of the nice firm couch. They had a couple of playful rounds and eventually fell asleep curled up with each other as the music from the main house thumped in the background.
Maybe it was the sex or maybe it was the quick nap but when Santana woke up nearly an hour later she felt a little more clear headed. Her buzz had dissipated for the most part and she felt suddenly wide awake. Brittany however was snoozing hard at her side. Santana smiled, leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her forehead before she started to pick herself up. Leaving Brittany behind was the last thing she felt like doing but she had a wicked case of cotton mouth and needed some water. She went about putting her clothes back on but decided to forgo her heels. She quietly exited the pool house barefooted and gently closed the door behind her, careful that she didn't wake Brittany.
She turned towards the house and noticed a figure sitting out and relaxing on a chaise lounge chair near the pool. The closer she got she realized it was Kurt. He was laying under the stars, staring up at the moon with one of his hands over his stomach while the other rested beneath his head. He looked...serene.
''What are you doing out here?'' she asked as she approached him and went to take a seat on the chaise at his side. ''Shouldn't you be inside enjoying your party?''
He smiled at her. ''I have been.''
''Is everything okay?''
He nodded. ''Yeah actually. I'm just taking a little break from the noise for a few minutes. I'd ask you what you've been doing out here but I already know. I think the entire house knows, we all heard some strange noises coming from your pool house a little while ago.''
''Shut up.''
Kurt's shoulders shook in silent laughter. ''Sounded like two squirrels squeaking at each other.''
She threw a chair cushion at his side which he was quick to swat away. ''Anyway, why did you need a break?''
Kurt's chuckles faded as he answered seriously. His gaze went back to focus on the sky above. ''I don't know, inside everyone is laughing and dancing and I love it but being in the middle of it, it's kind of a blur. I guess I just wanted a quiet moment tonight to let everything sink in. I wanted to appreciate every second of this so that whatever happens...whatever comes next...I won't ever forget it.''
Santana moved her own hands behind her head and relaxed back along with him. She two found herself staring up into the night, so perfect and clear and vast. In that moment they were both staring the universe in the face.
''I'll never forget what you did for me tonight either,'' he continued, still staring straight ahead, not bothering to face her. He didn't need to look at her to mean it or for her to hear it wholly and completely. ''And I'm not just talking about the party. I mean everything else. Walking after me, picking me up.''
Santana blinked up, her eyes still looking above. ''Yeah well...what are squirrel friends for.''
''Did you really mean it?''
''Mean what?''
''What you said earlier in that hallway,'' he said. ''About you and me getting out of this town one day and ruling the world?''
''I guess so. I mean, it's like I said this is a small town filled with mostly small people and...and I sure as hell know that's not me. There's nothing for me here. Lima isn't a total pit but I can't imagine myself staying here and being fulfilled in any way shape or form. I'd suffocate. All I know and all I'm sure of is I'm gonna be something. Something big, something different, something no one has ever seen before.''
''You're bigger than Lima, Santana, we both are.'' He finally turned and found her eyes with his before continuing on sincerely. ''We can do this. I'm in if you're in. We can make it out together.''
''Together huh?''
''Yeah together,'' he laughed with lightness, with hope. ''You can be the Michelle Visage to my Rupaul.''
Santana waved her hands around dramatically and let out a loud puff of air in offense. ''Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's get one thing straight here, you're the Michelle, I'm the Ru.''
''Uhhhh I don't think so,'' Kurt snickered. ''You're the Michelle!''
''No, you're the Michelle!''
''You know what?'' Kurt held up one of his hands and reached for his phone with the other. ''It doesn't matter. The point is me and you...a deal's a deal, Lopez. We're getting out of here one day if it's the last thing we do.''
Santana nodded silently at that and then watched as he smiled down at his phone. It was still very much connected to the sound system inside via bluetooth, the music throughout the house had been from his own playlists. He swiped around a few times until he found the song he was looking for and then he pressed play. The sound was loud and crisp enough that they could clearly hear it from their spot at the pool as she they stared at the stars. They fell into a comfortable silence as they listened to the lyrics of a familiar tune from their favorite show.
...night after night I close my eyes, I wonder when the sun will rise, day by day I live my life, I try my best to do what's right. A moment of hope is all I need to keep me moving on, through the dark till I see what's left to be revealed to me. If I dream everything I wanna be, if I dream all the possibilities, if you just believe in your wildest dreams, they will come true, they will come true…
Kurt chanced another glance at Santana and knew then on some level that going forward it would be the two of them against the world.
X
And like that the days began to fly by.
Nationals came and went. Finn had made a fool of himself as well as the rest of them when he had acted rashly and planted a kiss on Rachel on stage during the competition. It was unprofessional and hadn't impressed the judges one bit. Then again it wasn't like they deserved to place. Mr. Schue hadn't thoroughly prepared them and even had them writing their original song on the fly the day before. Any hope of bringing home a national title were dashed then and there.
Kurt was quietly devastated of course, as was Brittany who didn't care so much about winning as she was with seeing the others happy. Santana however turned into Snix, aiming most of her blind rage at Finn and Rachel for once again making everything about them. There was even a point where Quinn, Sam and Mike had to hold her back because she was going to go all Lima Heights on Finchel's asses. Eventually Kurt and Brittany intervened and managed to diffuse the situation by escorting Santana out of the room.
They all had a quick change into their casual clothes and after grabbing a few necessities they were off and onto the streets of New York in the hopes that some fresh air would calm Santana's dramatic ass down. Santana was still a little grumbly about everything but the further they got from the hotel and the more distractions they came across the less bothered she seemed to feel.
They meandered for a long while, content to stroll with no real destination in place as they observed several buildings and landmarks or street performers doing their thing. They tossed some money at some buskers and a dance troupe they came across at Bryant Park. It was only when their tummies started to grumble in hunger that they paused and decided they needed a game plan. Kurt was insistent on them grabbing a bite to eat at a fancy eatery he had read about on some restaurant review site, according to him it was a very exclusive trendy restaurant. Santana and Brittany had no qualms about grabbing something from a street food vendor but Kurt wouldn't hear of it. If the three of them were in New York they were going to do it up big he insisted. They followed the GPS directions for a good half hour but either this restaurant had disappeared or his cell phone had lead them astray. Either way the three of them found themselves hungry and at a loss in Time Square in the middle of the afternoon.
''This is stupid, let's just find a fast food joint and get something, I'm starving over here,'' Santana whined.
Brittany was in agreement. ''I'm with Santana, Kurt. Come on please.''
Kurt was studying the map on his phone and shaking his head at them. ''Absolutely not. We did not come all this way from Lima to New York to eat at a Burger King, ladies, okay! We're going to eat fine cuisine.''
''Ughhhhhh,'' Santana groaned in annoyance. ''Whatever, if you're so hung up on us eating at some fancy-shmancy place you need to put your phone down and ask someone for some real directions.''
''Fine,'' Kurt sighed and began looking around.
He wrinkled his nose up at several people who also appeared to be tourists, they probably wouldn't be any more knowledgeable than he was he figured. What he needed to find was a real New Yorker who knew the streets like the back of their hand. They didn't exactly have a lot of options although there was one group of people standing about nearby on a piece of pavement chatting amongst themselves. They looked like the were perhaps a part of some kind of demonstration but were taking a break, their signs were placed near their shoes anyway. Kurt figured he had nothing to lose by asking and so he started for them with Brittany and Santana at his side.
''Pardon moi,'' Kurt said, making himself known to the group of demonstrators with a smile and a wave. ''Me and my friends here are trying to find a restaurant and we were wondering if you'd be kind enough to point us in the right direction.''
Several of the demonstrators turned around to face them and that's when Kurt noticed that a few of said demonstrators were actually drag queens.
A tall statuesque black queen stepped forward. ''Sure, kid. What joint are you looking for?'' the queen asked.
Kurt eagerly handed his phone over so the queen could take a look at the map and the address. The queen immediately pulled a silly, gaggy face.
''Ah hell nah, the food at that restaurant blows. Trust me I used to work there,'' the statuesque queen laughed. ''It's a bunch of overpriced garbage, nobody eats there but dumbass white hipsters.''
Santana and Brittany cracked up at the queen's nonchalant dry tone, and at the fact that she had totally made fun of Kurt's stuffy taste.
''But if you want some good ass food, my buddy runs the best place like five blocks that way.'' The queen then pointed off in the distance and then with a shrug offered. ''We were actually just talking about grabbing a bite ourselves if you want us to show you the way.''
Kurt looked over to Santana and Brittany who made no response. There was an awkward moment of silence that passed. This queen and her group seemed harmless but they were total strangers.
''What am I thinking, allow me to introduce myself, I'm Bob,'' the queen said.
Santana laughed. ''Bob? What the hell kind of name is Bob for a drag queen?''
Bob made a funny face, ready to have some fun and throw it right back. ''Well what's your name miss thing?''
''Santana,'' she answered.
''Well what the hell kind of name is Santana for a teenage girl,'' Bob smarted in a playful, lighthearted way. Kurt and Brittany laughed in response. Santana even chuckled too. It was hard not to smile at Bob who had a certain charm. ''What about you two?'' Bob then tossed a nod at Brittany and Kurt. ''You two Muppet Babies got names?''
''I'm Brittany,'' Brittany said through giggles.
''Kurt. Kurt Hummel.''
''Well, Brittany, Kurt, Santana, take a flyer.'' Bob motioned to another queen to come and join the conversation. The second queen that came over was smaller and white. ''This is my friend Miz Cracker.''
''Actually, it's Brianna Cracker, Miz Cracker if you're nasty,'' Cracker informed them gleefully as she handed them each a flyer for their cause.
''What is this?'' Brittany asked as she looked it over.
''It's for our group,'' Miz Cracker answered. ''Drag Queen Weddings For Equality. We do mock weddings here every Saturday from noon to four.''
Bob nodded along. ''And we won't stop until there's marriage for all.''
''That's so cool,'' Brittany exclaimed as she continued to read over their info.
''I don't know how old you guys are but it's never too early to start standing up for what you believe in,'' said Bob who dropped the jokester attitude for a moment to get serious. ''Whether you're LGBTQ or allies, change begins with your generation and the world needs you in it.''
''Wait,'' Santana started. ''You all really stand out here in the middle of all of this and perform weddings?''
''Yeah,'' replied Bob. ''But that isn't all we do. Listen I'll be glad to talk all about it but uh, we gotta talk and walk. These heels are making my feet howl, not to mention I's fucking hungry.''
The three of them laughed at that and then without anyone really saying anything or verbally coming to any kind of consensus they all just started walking in the same direction as Bob, Cracker and their group in search for food. As they strolled Bob spoke to them, explaining what their groups mission was which was to be proudly queer, proudly visible while trying to inform the public about issues of inequality. Their group, Bob explained, didn't just talk about marriage equality, but they also out about the right to adopt, the high suicide rate for LGBTQ kids, and the desire to simply exist without fear or persecution. Bob said they did some pretty radical stuff and that more than a few of them had gotten arrested but that was simply the price for progress.
''They hauled my ass off to jail in full drag,'' Bob reminisced.
''Oh my god, were you scared?'' asked Santana.
''Was I scared? Shitless,'' Bob said honestly. ''But was it worth it? Yes. Would I do it all over again? Absolutely, because I believe in what I was fighting for.''
''That's amazing,'' Kurt said with admiration and wonder in his eyes later on when Bob escorted them into a nearby hole in the wall restaurant.
They all found a large empty table in a corner to sit and situate themselves at since it seemed they were going to be dining with their new New York acquaintances. Bob and her friends were kind enough to let them tag along and talk to them, they really didn't have a reason to say no. And anyway there was something special about Bob who was a total hysterical wiseass that made them want to listen to her shoot the bitchy breeze for as long as possible.
''So what about you three?'' Miz Cracker asked. ''What's your deal? What are you about?''
''What do you mean exactly?'' asked Brittany as she cracked open her menu.
''Well, you're obviously tourists,'' Bob said. ''No offense. What brought you all to New York?''
''Oh,'' Brittany chirped. ''Well we're in glee club.''
''Yeah, we just competed in a show choir competition,'' said Kurt.
''And bombed tremendously,'' said Santana.
Bob grinned. ''Wow. Show choir huh, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard of, and that's coming from a man in a wig.''
Miz Cracker gave Bob a friendly swat to the shoulder. ''Be nice to the children.''
''But I am gay,'' Kurt said.
''I'm totally bi,'' Brittany chimed in.
''I'm a lesbian,'' Santana said with surprising ease.
It was the first time she had said it out loud and in front of other people, but if she couldn't be honest now in front of Brittany and Kurt, in front of Bob and Miz Cracker, who could she be honest in front of. There wasn't an ounce of judgement at the table as she claimed the word for herself.
''Oh my god I love lesbians,'' Bob exclaimed. ''I swear to fucking god the world would be a much better place if lesbians ran it and that's the truth.''
''Ain't gonna argue with that,'' Santana replied, holding her hand up in agreement. ''So what's good in this joint?''
It wasn't quite what any of them had been expecting but they all found themselves relaxing and enjoying this unexpected turn of events as they dined with drag queens.
It gave them all a sense that this, this is what life could be like for them in a big city. One could go out and meet someone new and unique and find common ground from belonging to the same community. New York was a big, open vibrant place where you could walk out of the door and find yourself somewhere completely unexpected, living an adventure. It was so far away from Lima and its stifling oppressive air.
By no means was New York some magical place where everything was perfect, after all Bob and Cracker had even mentioned that they encountered occasional assholes while they were demonstrating, but to them, to Kurt and Santana and Brittany, it felt like in a city like this, like New York they at least had a fighting chance to be themselves.
Kurt told them about being crowned prom queen. Bob and Miz Cracker both paused and listened intently, because ''that was real fucked up'' said Bob who was stunned and pissed off at the story. Kurt assured them though that he took that moment and turned it into something powerful and beautiful for himself, thanks to Santana. Miz Cracker and Bob said they were sorry that happened but that at the very least they were glad they had each other to lean on in moments like those.
''We're nothing without our family,'' Bob said. ''Like one of my besties is my friend Monet, she's brilliant and I get to call her my sister.''
''Bob is actually my drag mother,'' Miz Cracker confessed. ''Even though she's a year older than me.''
''Yeah but white people age faster than black folks do,'' Bob tried to reason. ''But it's true. Family is important, the one you're born into sure-''
''But also the one you make for yourself,'' Cracker continued seamlessly.
Bob and Cracker told them all about the drag scene and the gay scene in the city, entertaining them with wild stories about wild nights. ''It's the best place to be if you want to be an artist,'' Bob told them when they all said they were interested in pursuing careers on stage. ''It's not always been sunshine and rainbows. To make it in New York you have to learn how to hustle and make things happen for yourself, but if you can make it here...you can make it anywhere.''
Time flew by there at that table as they shouted and laughed and filled their bellies and tossed back drinks (Bob was very much about sober living and was not about to watch any of them drink while under age; ''nuh-uh, your toddler ass is drinking soda'' said Bob when Santana attempted to whip out her fake ID.) It was a night they wouldn't forget any time soon for many reasons, least of all because they had made two new friends and if New York had even just a few more people as inspiring and proud and political and passionate as Bob and Cracker, maybe this city could be their escape one day out of Lima.
As their time together came to a close they paid their tab and filtered out onto the sidewalk chatting amongst themselves. Well, Kurt, Santana and Bob did, Miz Cracker and Brittany for whatever reason began to play patty cake with each other, giggling between themselves.
''Guys, Mr. Schue is telling us to get back to the hotel,'' Kurt looked to the girls as well as their new friends as he checked the messages on his phone. ''I'm afraid we have to scram, I'm sorry. I was hoping we could get to go back and see one of your weddings in action.''
Bob smiled, unbothered and unoffended. ''Maybe some other time. If you ever find yourself in the city again always be there every Saturday until there's marriage equality.''
Bob then waved down a cab for them, insisting that they shouldn't go walking about on their own and to instead take a cab so they could get to where they needed to be. Cracker bent down to hand the driver a handful of bills and instructed him to ''make sure they get to their hotel.'' Brittany, Kurt and Santana said their thanks and said their goodbyes before piling into the backseat of the cab. Santana closed the door behind her and Bob stood just beside her window.
''Here's some advice for you all and I don't want you to ever forget it,'' Bob began wisely. ''Whatever you do, wherever you go...take whatever you love about yourself and walk into the world purse first.''
Santana tilted her head in confusion but then before she had a chance to ask what that meant exactly their car was pulling away from the curb and driving away leaving Bob and Miz Cracker behind in their rear window.
It would take them a couple of years to fully grasp what 'walking into the world purse first' meant, but even then, even in the backseat as they looked amongst each other and smiled something felt real and profound about the exchange.
They drifted off into a comfortable silence as they were driven back to the hotel. With Kurt sitting in the middle, Santana and Brittany both leaned against him just slightly and laid back, watching as they passed buildings and people and places.
''Thanks for dragging me away earlier before I went all Phi Phi O'Hara on Finn and Rachel's asses,'' Santana said to Kurt. ''I needed this.''
''Me too,'' yawned Brittany.
''I think we all did.'' Kurt sighed dreamily.
They arrived back at the hotel and with the rest of the glee club began to pack and get ready for their flight.
They didn't return to Lima with a trophy or a national title but what the three of them came back with was a little bit of hope. If New York was big enough for Bob and Miz Cracker, it was also big enough for Kurt Hummel and Santana Lopez and Brittany S. Pierce.
All they had to do now was make it through senior year.
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Sooooo, was Bob and Cracker's cameo a hit or miss?
For those who don't know, Bob The Drag Queen is a Season 8 RPDR queen and Miz Cracker is from Season 10. Before they got on Drag Race they used to do demonstrative weddings for equality in Time Square back in 2011/2012. That was a real group that Bob and Cracker were a part of. If you Youtube their group you can actually see footage of them performing these mock weddings in Times Square. One of my favorite things about them both is that these two have taken the success and used it to not just further themselves but to also give back and make a difference. Seeing them walk that walk makes me realize I need to light a fire under my own ass to do more.
Anyhow. I thought wouldn't it be a hoot if Kurt, Santana and Brittany ran into them during this time period. Kurt and Santana won't know it until much later but they're going to see Bob and Cracker again, only next time on their favorite show.
I'm actually a big fan of the two of them so I've seen and read dozens and dozens of interviews, I listen to Bob and Monet's podcast, I've had the pleasure of seeing Bob perform live (IT WAS AMAZING!). So everything I have them say here is a variation of things Bob and Miz Cracker have said in real life, almost verbatim. I tried to be true to who they are, like the fact that Bob doesn't drink. I DON'T feel comfortable writing fanfiction about real people at all, however I kind of think of this as an episode of Glee where Bob and Miz Cracker make guest appearances as themselves. I hope the way I used Bob and Miz Cracker was in a very respectful way too.
If you haven't seen Season 8, please for the love of god go watch it now because Bob OWNS THAT SEASON SO HARD. As for Miz Cracker's season, I started S10 like ''omg this is the best season ever'' but I gotta be honest with y'all now I'm like ''why has god forsaken me'' lol. I was really all about Monique, Monet and Miz Cracker but...yeah. :( For reals if you're watching Season 10, I need you to tell me all of your feelings.