''My name's Gia Gunn. I don't jump guns, I am the boom boom gun, honey,'' Gia sassed in the work room.
There was a collection of ''ooooo's!'' from the rest of the queens as Bianca Del Rio spoke up in annoyance. ''Oh is that it? You can handle it but don't worry, some other bitches in here know how to throw it, kk?''
Santana, Kurt and Brittany were once again in his basement bedroom for Drag Race night.
They were watching as Gia and Bianca ruffled each other's feathers. Dramatic operatic music began to play in the background. They were rapt and at the edge of their seats watching it all go down. Thankfully a few minutes later they were able to relax when the show cut to commercial and they could all exhale when they put the TV on mute.
''So can we all agree that Bianca Del Rio is what would happen if you and Kurt mixed your gay DNA together and had a giant gay baby, Santana?'' Brittany asked.
Santana twisted her face up in repulsion. ''First of all gross. Second of all…yeah I can see that.''
''You would be lucky to have my gay baby, Lopez,'' Kurt said with a playful nudge to her arm as he sat in the middle of the couch this time around.
''Bianca reminds me of the two of you,'' Brittany added lightheartedly. ''She's charming but in a super mega bitchy way. Also she has your dimples.'' She reached over to poke at Santana's cheek.
''I do like Bianca though,'' Santana expanded, because how could she not identify with Bianca's viper tongue and attitude. ''I didn't expect to root for the one that looks like a clown but I feel like she might be my fav of the season.''
''I like her too but I also think Courtney Act is lovely,'' Kurt chimed in.
''Oh yeah,'' Santana hummed deeply. ''I really like Courtney.''
''That's because you have a crush on Courtney,'' Brittany laughed.
''I do not have a crush on Courtney Act!'' Santana shouted in embarrassment and began to eat the popcorn in her lap with a weird almost comical kind of intensity, shoving it into her mouth like an angry toddler.
''Lies. Liza Minelli, lies,'' Kurt countered in his best Vivacious impersonation.
''Do you want me to slap you in your squirrel face?'' Santana threatened.
''Baby, you kind of do,'' Brittany chuckled at Santana in a soothing, calming way. ''Remember I called this when I caught you drooling on her Instagram. Courtney's a leggy blue eyed blond bombshell, clearly you have a type. There's no shame in having a crush.''
Santana lifted a shoulder and hesitantly nodded. ''Right. Okay. Yeah,'' Santana relaxed. ''Maybe I do have a little crush. Courtney in drag is a really beautiful woman.''
''Personally I'm kind of crushing on Josyln,'' Brittany admitted with an easy nod. ''Joslyn Fox is one foxy lady. Wonk-wonk!'' Brittany did Joslyn's signature boob wonk on herself and snickered. ''But you know who I think will be the underdog of the season? Adore.''
''Ohh I love Adore too,'' Kurt beamed.
''Me too,'' Santana thirded their sentiments. ''She's like that slightly annoying kid sister type who tags along with you and your friends to the movies and embarrases you because she has a booger on her face the whole time or something. I love her.''
''Honestly, everyone's so great,'' Kurt said, gushing. ''I can see a few of them taking the crown. Season six is going to be a hard one to call.''
''I am so lost,'' Blaine said through a chuckle, finally speaking up in the conversation for the first time as he sat in a chair off to the side.
So this was a thing that happened recently.
Blaine had finally decided to join them for Drag Race night.
It was a shock to Santana but Brittany had confided to her that she may have taken Blaine aside and gently encouraged him to show some interest in one of Kurt's hobbies. Brittany was under the impression that she had gotten through to him. Santana however thought that Blaine finally joining them for Drag Race had less to do with Brittany's pep talk and more to do with his feeling guilty about recently taking the Tony role in West Side Story.
Kurt had set his eyes and heart set on the lead role of Mckinley's West Side Story. Blaine had told him he was going to step aside only to later agree to read for Tony. Kurt had dimmed a little at first sure but after a tiny bit of moping he shook it off and made the choice to be happy for his boyfriend. The day the cast list went up Kurt and Brittany had even snuck off school grounds to buy a couple of bouquets of flowers to surprise Blaine and Santana with.
Uneasy feelings about him aside Santana couldn't really begrudge Blaine for taking a role that was offered to him. She more than anyone understood that you had to take every opportunity as a performer, she just thought it was a sucky ass thing for Blaine to give Kurt his word on something and then turn around and go back on it. In her eyes it would've been way simpler and less complicated, not to mention more honest, if Blaine had just been up front and told Kurt it was something he wanted to try for too. Why give your word if your word meant nothing, Santana thought.
Maybe she would've been more receptive to having him join their Drag Race night if she thought he was genuinely trying to share something with them but she got the feeling that Blaine's coming around was more about soothing things over with Kurt than anything else.
Still she tried to do her part as she, Kurt and Brittany each took turns explaining the show to Blaine. There was nearly always a mini challenge at the beginning of the episode to determine team captains and then once teams were picked the queens would proceed to the main challenge which was usually an acting, dance or comedy challenge or some variation involving all three. The preparation period was always the part of the show that was most entertaining. Watching the queens write, rehearse and interact with each other around the workroom was the best way for a viewer to get a sense of everyone's personality. Each season there was always a mix of introverts and extroverts, seasoned queens and baby queens, congenial queens and drama queens. And when put in a room together it always made for something compelling, a perfect balance of silly and sincere.
Kurt, Santana and Brittany were cracking up as the queens worked to construct and film their very own wacky horror movie skits. Blaine however just smiled and looked slightly confused as he silently watched their shoulders bounce with laughter through it all. But when it came time for the lip sync portion of the show he did have a few questions, the primary one being ''why couldn't they just sing?''. He didn't outright criticize the performances, he did however question the importance and significance of lip syncing. Santana and Kurt tried to explain that lip syncing was in actuality a drag queens bread and butter and generally a staple in most every drag queen's repertoire. Blaine didn't protest or challenge that but he did furrow his bushy brows, almost as if he was attempting to do some complex math equation in his head in order to understand the humor and the heart of it.
Brittany tossed a small throw pillow at Blaine's gelled head. ''I think you just need to loosen up and stop over analyzing,'' she said just as the show went to commercial break and they put the television on mute. ''And I know the perfect way to do it.''
''What?'' Blaine asked with a comically fearful expression.
''Dance party,'' Brittany declared and with that she lifted up the remote to Kurt's sound system and queued up a track that immediately began to fill up the room. It was Rupaul's Dance with U which was fitting as it was the theme song of the season.
Without word Brittany jumped up and onto her feet and starting shimmering around the room. Santana really didn't need any encouragement to start moving along with her girlfriend, after all it was tradition that they have at least two random mini dance party breaks per Drag Race night. Kurt laughed and looked to Blaine as Santana and Brittany started hopping around them, dancing on couches and coffee tables.
Despite his stiffness and confusion Blaine exhaled and with a small smile took Kurt's hand when it was offered to him. He was pulled into the mix and finally lit up as Kurt started dancing in circles around him. Blaine eventually started to take part and move along to the beat. He might not understand Drag Race but this was something he looked more comfortable taking part in, this he could definitely have fun with.
It was then that Santana had to admit to herself that Blaine was clearly trying. Maybe he was trying for all the wrong reasons, but she guessed trying was trying regardless. And anyway she supposed it really didn't matter either way, at least not to Kurt who looked over the moon at finally getting to share something special to him with his boyfriend.
After it was all said and done they watched as Vivacious sashayed away. After the show and after Untucked they helped pick up until Kurt shoo'd them away, insisting that he and Blaine had clean up duty under control.
''Admit it, you just want us gone so you and Blaine can get all up on each other,'' Santana teased as she and Brittany stood at the bottom of the stairs.
''What Blaine and I may or may not get up to is none of your business,'' Kurt replied in an amused and scandalized tone. ''Unlike you and Brittany we keep our private life private.''
''Uhhhhhh Brittany and I are plenty private,'' Santana sassed back.
Kurt remained straight faced, completely unconconvinced. ''What are you talking about? You two did it on my couch! In the middle of Drag Race night! In front of me and Rupaul almighty!''
''Yeah but we didn't finish so it doesn't count,'' Santana reasoned.
''Stop pestering Kurt,'' Brittany said, buttoning up her jacket. ''If he and Blaine want to warble each other we should leave them to it.''
Santana lifted a shoulder and slid herself into her own thin, tight coat and zipped herself. ''Alright, alright. You two love birds enjoy the rest of your evening.''
Once they were out of the Hummel home and on the sidewalk she and Brittany began strolling in the direction of Pierce house.
Brittany's folks were pretty laid back and didn't object to Santana sleeping over on occasion as long as it didn't interfere with school. If it had been up to Brittany Santana would've been sleeping over every other night, but Santana was a little more hesitant. She didn't want the Pierce parents to think she was taking advantage of their hospitality so she tried to limit their sleepovers to only a couple of nights a week. And even though they had permission to sleep in the same room, Santana wasn't exactly comfortable having sex while the parental units were under the same roof which meant their sleepovers were usually PG-13, a fact which didn't exactly please Brittany.
''I just think you're being a little overly cautious,'' Brittany said from within her bathroom. ''It's not like we've never done it with them around before.''
''Britt, we've been over this.'' Santana was already changed into pajamas and laying on her side of the bed as she leafed through a book. ''That was different.''
''Different how?''
''That was before when we had to sneak around and didn't have a choice. We're together now though.''
''I don't see how that changes things.''
''I'll make it up to you this weekend, we'll have some alone time at my place when my parents are out, okay?''
''You promise?''
''I promise.''
Santana looked up from what she was reading just in time to see Brittany walk out of the bathroom. There her girlfriend stood in nothing but a t-shirt and panties and Santana had to bite down on her bottom lip because legs. The mischievous twinkle in Brittany's eyes led Santana to believe that girl knew exactly what she was doing.
Santana put down her book and sat up, alert. ''Where are your pajama bottoms?''
''They're dirty.''
''All of them?''
''Yeah. I'm super behind on laundry,'' Brittany said as she walked her way over to her side of the bed and took her spot. But instead of slipping under the covers Brittany instead pulled a bottle of lotion out from her side table and began to apply it to her legs, giving them a shiny, smooth sheen that had Santana aching to reach out and touch.
''That uh...that smells good,'' Santana managed to croak out. Her eyes remained glued to those legs however. Brittany's were so long and toned and perfect.
''Mmhm,'' Brittany hummed innocently.
Santana inhaled. ''Coconutty.''
''Yeah, I got it because you said you loved that scent.'' Brittany applied even more lotion to the palm of her hand, this time though she rubbed it onto her thighs, slowly making her way upwards. ''Want some?''
''You have no idea,'' Santana sighed inwardly.
''I can put it on you if you'd like.''
Santana flared at that and in a swift little maneuver pulled Brittany up and onto her lap causing Brittany to squeak out. Santana hiked one of those long legs up and over her own hip so she could stroke that smooth pale skin and marvel at it. Just because they weren't having sex tonight didn't mean she couldn't at least cop a feel she reasoned.
''I know what you're doing,'' Santana said.
''What am I doing?''
''You're not playing fair.''
''What if we were really quick?''
Santana groaned again. ''Don't tempt me.''
Brittany pressed a kiss onto her jaw. ''But it's so fun.''
''Britt, it's not that I don't want to, you know this.''
''Then why not? If I want it and you want it…'' Brittany began to let one of her own hands slink down and under the waist of Santana's shorty shorts.
Santana stilled her hand, pulling Brittany's away from her underwear and up to her mouth. She laid a single soothing kiss into her palm. ''Trust me, I want it. But I also don't want to be disrespectful to your parents.''
''You wouldn't be though. My mom and dad love you and obviously trust you.''
''Exactly, and I don't want to betray that. We're lucky that they're cool with me staying over so often. I don't want to give them any reason to change their minds.''
''I'm pretty sure my parents already know what we get up to.''
''Probably, but that's beside the point. Listen if it was just the two of us here it'd be a totally different story but your parents are like two rooms down. Plus your kid sister. I just want to respect your family and you.''
Brittany seemed to accept that with a nod. ''I still think you're being silly but...it means a lot that you care enough about my family to even consider what they might think and feel.''
''If you and I were just fooling around like we used to it wouldn't matter, but you and me, we're real now aren't we?''
''We are, we're really real.''
''And because we're real I don't want to do anything to screw it up or make anyone upset. I want your folks to know I'm serious about you, about us. More than that I want you to know I'm serious about us.''
''Sometimes you are impossibly sweet.'' Brittany continued to kiss her, moving her mouth across Santana's features slowly in worship. She spoke between soft tender pecks. ''You know what's funny?'' she asked, snuggling closer towards her.
''Hmm?''
''No one would ever suspect.''
''Suspect what?''
''This, here, right now. No one would ever suspect you would be this sweet and old fashioned.''
Santana laugh-scoffed. ''I'm not old fashioned.''
''You are though about certain things. About heart things anyway. Maybe old fashioned is the wrong word. Honorable. That's a better word for it. No one would ever suspect you of being this honorable. I love that it's a part of you that I get to see. This tender, patient, thoughtful side. You're like a total gentlewoman you know?''
''Only for you. And believe me the next time we're alone I'll give you everything you want.''
''I know you will, but in the meantime I'd be happy for some quality cuddles.''
Santana opened her arms and wrapped them around Brittany. That was very much something she could do. ''Well I mean the only thing I'm better at than orgasms is cuddles. I'm like a total beast at cuddling, babe.''
''A beast huh?''
''Oh yeah. I'm a total cuddle fiend. Live fast, die cuddling; that's my motto.''
''So since we're not getting up to anything tonight, I do want to talk to you about something. It's sort of serious though.'' The usual playful lilt of Brittany's voice was gone, replaced with something more heavy and inquisitive.
''Whatever it is you can tell me. I'm here.''
Brittany let herself down from Santana's lap and fell into the space at her side. Their legs tangled and rubbed together as she continued. ''It's not bad or anything but I've been thinking. We've all been taking care of things to get ready for New York. I know I've been taking my school work a lot more seriously and well I was thinking maybe I needed to do something big this year to set myself apart too.''
''Uh huh.'' Santana encouraged her on and listened intently. ''Like what?''
''Well, I was helping Kurt put up his campaign posters for senior class president the other day and we were talking about how he wants to change things. It made me think...I want to change things too.''
''Okkkkaaaay.''
''And you know I love Kurt and I totally think he has a great message but like, his posters were all fancy and grey and boring. I tried to talk him into adding some color but he was mega insistent on doing it his way which like, is his choice. But I don't know if it's enough to get people's attention and if he can't get people's attention how is he going to change things. So then I thought...what if I tried?''
''What if you tried what?'' Santana had an idea about where Brittany was going with this but she wanted to be sure.
''What if I were to run for class president too?''
''Is that something you want to do?''
''I want to help people realize that it's okay to step out of the ordinary. Just because we live in a small town doesn't mean we have to have small minds you know? I want to show people, teach people that and like what better platform would there be than the student body president.'' Brittany sat up, extracting herself from Santana as her words flowed out of her, each one brimming with excitement, with possibility. ''Like I'm super hot and super popular, people are going to pay attention to me and maybe it'll be for those reasons in the beginning but what if I could use my hotness and popularity to like teach people without them even realizing?''
''That...that wouldn't be half bad idea.'' Santana tilted her head in thought. ''Actually that'd be kinda brilliant.''
''Right? I could totally run a wild and colorful campaign and make people think I'm all about root beer water fountains and pixy sticks but once I got their eyes on me, once I get their votes then I start changing things and educating people.''
''You could totally do that.''
''You think so?''
''You can do anything, Brittany. You're a genius. I think if people were as open and accepting and magical as you the world would be a much better place.''
Brittany beamed. ''I think so too, or I hope so at least. I have some ideas but if I go through with it that means I'd be running against Kurt.''
''Well….'' Santana had to take a few moments to find her words. She was ready and game to support her girlfriend but at the same time she didn't and couldn't dismiss Kurt. They were both important to her and she wanted to be there for them both. ''If you ask me you should totally talk to him and tell him what's what before you make any announcements but as long as you both run a clean campaign I don't see why there would be any issues.''
''I don't want him to hate me though.''
''It's Kurt, he would never hate you. And anyway there's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition.''
''You don't think things will get weird?''
''Why would it be weird? Both of you want to change Mckinley for the better, you just have two different visions. I would think he'd be happy that someone like-minded was trying to get into the mix.''
''No I mean, weird between me and you?''
''How would it affect us?''
''I'm your girlfriend and Kurt's your friend, if I go for it I don't want you to feel like you have to choose between us or like you have to support one over the other.''
''Brittany, I don't ever want to be the reason you don't go after something you want. I'm your girlfriend no matter what. You make your decision, talk to Kurt and whatever you decide on, I'll be there.''
Brittany nodded and plopped herself back down into Santana's arms. ''See, just like I said you're totally a gentlewoman.'' Santana squeezed her butt and gave it a playful swat. ''Okay maybe not entirely,'' Brittany yelped, enjoying the attention to that part of her body. ''Do that again but like harder this time.''
Santana shook the bed with laughter. ''Oh my god, go to sleep.''
X
As the next few days passed Santana didn't press Brittany for details on what her plan was. Instead she just reminded her that she'd be by her side either way and that she believed Brittany could accomplish whatever she put her genius brain to. She was confident that her girlfriend could make her own choices.
In the meantime Santana began to focus on West Side Story rehearsals. Things were really going forward and it felt like they were all really creating something.
For the most part Santana found herself working long hours alongside Rachel. It was a surprise to both of them when they found that they had chemistry while playing off of each other. Berry could be annoying as hell to sit next to in the choir room but Santana had to admit being on stage with her pushed Santana to step up even more, to show not just the imaginary audience but Rachel herself, that they were equals.
If there was one thing they both cared about it was about doing their roles justice. They saw a dedication in each other and from that dedication sprung a sort of appreciation and from that appreciation something that almost felt like a friendship began to form.
''To think you and I could've been doing this the whole time,'' Rachel started as the two of them sat down on the edge of the auditorium stage. They were in the middle of taking a break to rehydrate.
''Doing what, singing together?'' asked Santana as she grabbed a bottle of water for herself and even thought to toss one into Rachel's lap.
''Like it or not, Santana, you have to acknowledge that you and I have a certain sympatico when we're performing together.''
''We work well together in the professional sense sure but as for why it took us so long to get here I can think of a couple reasons. One being you're a bitch.''
Rachel made a sour face.
''Two being I'm a bitch,'' added Santana which put Rachel a little more at ease. ''Hey game recognize game, Rachel, but let's be real, your giant ass personality tends to nag at my giant ass personality. Putting the two of us in a room together sophomore year, even junior year, that was always going to lead to a little bit of drama and mayhem.''
''But now it's senior year,'' Rachel said brightly, as if she thought time had allowed them to turn a new page. ''We've found a way to work beyond the friction, haven't we?''
''To tell you the truth, Berry, as amusing as it once was for me in the past I don't exactly have a lot of time to devote to making your life hell anymore. There's school, glee, cheerios, Brittany, the musical...Breadstix just unveiled this awesome all-you-can-eat buffet option; my time is precious now.''
Rachel laughed. She didn't appear to be put off by Santana downplaying it all. After a few minutes though her smile fell and she turned serious. ''For what it's worth and for everything I've done...I'm sorry.''
''You're sorry?'' Santana asked cautiously.
''I know I haven't always been kind or supportive of your talent, of anyone's talent really, other than my own but now that we're staring senior year down all of that pettiness between us seems so pointless and reductive.''
''Really, from what I remember it was a lot of fun on my end.'' For this Santana was rewarded with a nudge in her side.
''When you get down to it, you and I are a lot alike. Competitive, ambitious, strong-willed. We're both bigger than this place.''
Santana took a swig of her water and shrugged. She still wasn't entirely competent at heart-to-hearts. Brittany and Kurt, well they were special, they were something else. They were squirrel friends. And Rachel, despite becoming a lot less intolerable, hadn't yet penetrated that inner circle. Santana didn't quite know how to respond other than with a tight slightly awkward smile.
''I heard you and Kurt were making plans to go to New York together,'' Rachel carried on in a slightly stuffy manner.
''We are. Brittany too.''
''I don't know why but I always assumed Kurt and I would bosom buddy up by now. I'd make an excellent hag and he'd be my best gay and-''
Santana held a hand up. ''Just a little advice, probably shouldn't refer to anyone as your 'best gay'. For one, it's not witty and for two, Kurt's not an accessory.'' She wasn't being combative or cold as she spoke but she wanted to make sure Rachel knew there was nothing cute about that turn of phrase. ''At least he's not to me.''
Rachel paused and went silent and suddenly solemn, quietly rethinking her words. ''Sorry and you're right. Poor choice of words. He's not.''
Santana nodded at that but instead of continuing on this weirdly open and honest conversation she said their fifteen minutes were up and they needed to get back to rehearsing. She stood up and made her way back towards the middle of the auditorium stage and waited for Rachel to join her.
Santana was thumbing through her script when she heard Rachel's voice behind her, for this first time there was no sense of pride in it.
''I can see it,'' said Rachel.
''See what?'' Santana asked without looking up or behind her.
''You...in New York. I can see it. It almost makes too much sense. Santana Lopez, New York. I can totally see it and however the rest of senior year pans out...I hope you get there.''
Santana swallowed and smiled, except this smile wasn't tight or awkward or forced. It was real. ''I hope you get there too, Rachel.''
They were definitely making some progress, not just with the musical or their characters but with their relationship. Santana still felt compelled to roll her eyes at half the things that flew out of Rachel's mouth but no longer did she feel the urge to throttle the girl. That was what Santana liked to call growth.
Of course no amount of growth could've prepared her when several days after that conversation Rachel began asking her about sex.
They were once again sitting on the edge of the auditorium stage when it came up. Naturally Santana began to dry heave.
''I'm being serious,'' Rachel said.
''So am I!'' Santana shouted, horrified and unsettled by the topic. ''I don't want to hear about you and Finn bumping uglies. Straight sex is an abomination and good god fearing people shouldn't have to hear about it!''
''Santana,'' Rachel said, stressing her name to the point where it sounded like pleading. ''I'm turning to you as a friend with questions. Trust me if I was close to another girl in this way I'd be asking her but I don't exactly have very many options.''
Santana calmed her breathing down and stopped the dramatics. ''Why are you bringing this up, like why now?''
Rachel grimaced. ''Yesterday Blaine and I were running through a song together and Artie remarked to us about our lack of...passion...and well, he questioned our ability to perform the role adequately due to our lack of experience. This of course gave me pause, as you know I take my performance very seriously and now I'm wondering if perhaps I should take that leap with Finn in order to better convey Maria. Artie did in a very not so subtle way suggest it might enhance my portrayal.''
''Wow, that's ten kinds of gross.''
''Is it?''
''Uh yeah.''
Rachel's shoulders sank as she stared down at her hanging feet.
Santana tried not to sound hurt or offended. ''So let me guess you came to me because you think I'm the 'most experienced' when it comes to sex.''
''Well...yes.''
''Right.''
''I didn't mean - not like that,'' Rachel hurriedly began to peddle back. ''Not for the reasons you think, Santana.''
''Then why are you asking me?''
''You haven't made any huge public announcement but it's been abundantly clear to anyone with eyes that you and Brittany are together. Really, really together. I haven't seen either of you with anyone else for months and months. I can tell something is different now. Something has shifted for the better between the two of you and I admire that. The way you look at her and the way she looks at you, there's clearly intimacy there and not just in the physical sense. I thought you would be the one to ask seeing as how you're in a committed relationship like me.''
Santana relaxed with that slightly though she was still slightly weirded out to be talking about sex with Rachel of all people.
''Fine I guess I could answer some questions. I don't know how good I'll be at answering and you'll have to excuse me in advance if I happen to like accidentally vomit or whatever.''
''Understood.''
''So, shoot.''
And so Rachel did. Santana sat there and listened as Rachel prattled on about sexual awakenings and her dedication to her craft and how all she wanted was to give the best, most honest performance as possible as Maria. She used words like copulation and coitus, it was thoroughly disgusting. Not to mention clinical.
''You know what,'' Santana interjected after hearing Rachel utter the phrase 'amorous congress'. ''I think you need to chill, Berry.''
''Chill?''
''Yeah chill. You're thinking about all of this like way to hard. If your main reason for wanting to experience sex is to better your performance and not about wanting to be closer to Finn...then that says it all. Cause if you ask me that's a dumbass reason to do it and I'm not saying that because sex with Finn is like being smothered by a sweaty sack of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray. I'm saying that because you don't need anything to make your performance better.''
''I don't?''
''I don't know what Artie told you but it sounds like messed up bull to me. I've been on stage with you, Berry. We've sang together, we've acted together. You got this. And this is me saying that so you know I'm not comforting or coddling you here. You don't need to have sex to sing better or act better or be better, period.''
Rachel took a deep calming breath and nodded as she silently digested all of this. ''You're right. You're completely right.''
''And hey, even though I think het sex is unholy and all, when you do it, whenever that may be, it should be about you and the person you're with. It's called intimacy for a reason.''
''You know, Brittany is a very lucky girl,'' Rachel said.
''Whatever.''
''You know what I think Santana? I think you like to play the badass but deep down you're probably a romantic at heart.'' Rachel waggled a finger at Santana's form. ''This is adorable.''
''Shut up.''
''No, it is,'' Rachel began laughing, looking more at ease and comfortable than she had been at the beginning of this exchange.
''Call me adorable again and I will set your hair on fire.''
Rachel grinned as if she were talking and humoring a toddler. ''So precious.''
''Enough of this,'' Santana laughed. ''Let's get back to rehearsing before someone gets backhanded.''
''Yeah, yeah, yeah.''
X
''So you're sure you're okay with this?''
''I'm sure, Britt.''
''I'm glad because I really wanted to do this with your blessing.''
''You have it, not that you even needed it to begin with.''
Kurt and Brittany had just arrived at the Lima Bean. Brittany had pulled him aside after school and asked him if he was free for a chat and a walk. As they walked their way to the closest location Brittany broke the news to him.
She was going to run for senior class president alongside him and wanted him to be the first to know. Kurt had been surprised but it was sort of impossible to be angry. It wasn't like he had some kind of monopoly on the thing. Brittany was her own person and while he knew it was definitely going to make his campaign more challenging he put on his brave face and wished her luck.
He even decided to buy them a couple of giant cookies in celebration of her decision to run. He left Brittany busying herself with her phone at their table while he got in line to place their order. It was there in line that he caught sight of Blaine and some weasley looking guy in a Warbler jacket sitting together.
''I just would never want to mess my thing up with him…'' Blaine said all flustered like to the nameless Warbler. ''He's really great.''
''Who's really great?''
Kurt found himself standing at his boyfriend's side. Blaine looked up and sputtered a bit in a nervous, almost guilty manner. ''Y-y-you are!''
This Warbler's name it turned out was Sebastian and he was a lot less charming than the singing lobster in the Disney classic. Kurt studied the guy as he practically showered Blaine with praise that felt very much like flirtation. Kurt linked arms with Blaine in a clear display of affection but it didn't seem to deter Sebastian who continued spewing out words that left Kurt feeling uncomfortable and slimey.
There was nothing wrong with being a bitch, lord knew Kurt had his tendencies and his best friend was Santana but something about Sebastian felt off. He didn't seem like every other Warbler. There was something underneath the surface, underneath the straight teeth and the perfect hair, something smarmy, something almost repulsive.
When Sebastian invited them to join him for a night out the next evening Kurt almost felt like it was a challenge. And maybe all of his time with Santana was beginning to rub off on him to a certain degree because Kurt felt compelled to accept it.
''Let's do it,'' Kurt said.
''What?'' Blaine chuckled at his side.
''Yeah, we have a whole bunch of firsts to start crossing off our list. We're in.''
Sebastian smiled wickedly. ''Great.''
''Now if you'll excuse me I left Brittany at our table and I have a couple of giant cookies to buy…''
Kurt kissed Blaine on the cheek, stood up and made his way once more to the line to place his and Brittany's order. He looked back at Blaine and Sebastian for the briefest of moments and found himself wondering how their conversation would've went had he not made his presence known.
He didn't want to think about it.
X
''So you and Britt have to come with me tonight to Scandals,'' Kurt said in greeting the next night when Santana went to answer her phone.
She was in the middle of cleaning up around her house in preparation for the evening ahead. She had already picked up their dessert from the local bakery and Puck had even pulled through for her and delivered a bottle of something-something to her door at her request. Now she was going from room to room, tucking pillows into place and making sure everything was tidied up. Not that she and Brittany planned to spend a ton of time in the family room or anything but still.
''No can do, Hummel. I'm busy. Brittany and I have my place to ourselves for the night and I promised her we'd have some alone time.''
''Pleaeeeeaase,'' Kurt sang. ''It'll be fun.''
''I already ordered our dinner. The table is set, the candles are lit and my sexy time playlist is queued up, Kurt.''
''Fine, fine.''
''But have fun,'' Santana encouraged. ''And remember to tip your local drag queens generously.''
''Will do. Well it sounds like you're busy over there so I guess I'll let you go. I'll have a Pink Squirrel in your honor tonight.''
''Those things suck.''
''They're pink and tasty!''
''You know what else is pink and tasty?''
''I'm hanging up now.''
Santana laughed and set her phone aside.
As fun as a night out would've been she knew she made the right choice later on when she opened the door to find Brittany on her front stoop. They enjoyed their dinner and dessert and sat in front of a fire for a while just talking before Santana eventually led Brittany upstairs into her bedroom.
And just like she said she would, she gave Brittany everything she wanted, everything she needed. They didn't have to rush or be quiet or careful, they took their time beneath the sheets without worry or caution.
''I love when you hold onto me like you're a baby koala,'' Brittany said later on once they had settled underneath Santana's bedding.
Santana hummed.
''You're very marsupial like after sex,'' Brittany noted.
''That better be a compliment.''
''It is. You're just so cute ugh.''
''I've been getting a lot of that lately.''
''A lot of what?''
''Rachel was calling me adorable and precious the other day.''
''Should I be worried?''
Santana made a silly face, sticking out her tongue at a funny angle and scrunching her eyes up. ''Nah. I don't know. She was asking me about sex and relationship stuff during rehearsal so I was giving her some...advice I guess you could say. Seems Artie told Rachel and Blaine that they were sexless and that they should probably open up that way if they wanted to do Maria and Tony justice.''
''Um ew.''
''That's what I said.''
''I can't stand Rachel as much as the next person but I hope you told her doing it for that reason is insane.''
''I did, and I think she took it to heart. I hope she did anyway.''
Brittany ran her hand lazily through Santana's, sending delightful shivers up Santana's spine. ''Did you tell her about your first time?''
''I've never told anyone about that. About us. I'm sure a lot of people assume a lot of nasty things about me and I'd rather them believe those things than share the truth about that. That's ours.''
''I'm glad my first time was with you. I think I knew even then, ya know. That no one would ever be able to come close to your touch.''
''I'm glad it was you too, even though it took us awhile to get ourselves together I'm glad I can look back and have that memory with you.''
''We're lucky. Not everyone has this…'' Brittany made a nod down to the bed.
''Awesome sex?''
''Well yeah that but also...connection and passion and respect. Not everyone gets that their first time. I'm happy I got that with you.''
''I'm happy I got that with you too, baby.''
They drifted off into each other's arms, satisfied and warm. It was a perfect end to their quiet and romantic night.
Or it would've been had Santana's phone not started blowing up in the middle of the night. She gently wiggled her way out of Brittany's embrace to roll over to her night stand. She squinted in the darkness as she tried to make out the name.
Kurt, her screen flashed. He'd sent several text messages which she had apparently slept through. Her eyes weren't focused enough to read them so she pushed the notification away and instead flicked her finger at the screen to accept his call.
''What's going on?'' Santana said, her voice somewhere between a groan and a yawn. She squinted at the clock in her room. The tiny red lights told her it was close to 2 a.m. ''Kurt?''
''Hey,'' Kurt said, swallowing thickly on the other side of the line. ''Are you up?''
''Uh I am now.''
She heard Kurt sniffle. ''Right, god I'm sorry. I didn't realize how late it was and-''
''Is everything okay?''
What came through was a sad and loaded silence.
''Where are you?''
''I'm outside,'' he answered, his voice shaking as he did so.
''Outside of where? Scandals?'' She swung her legs over the side of her bed and sat up, trying to shake the sleep off of her.
''No, outside your house.''
''What?'' Santana jumped up and moved to the window in her room that overlooked the front of her house. She peeked through the curtains to see Kurt's SUV. ''What's going on?''
''Can we talk?''