Goodbye My Almost Lover
Summery: -
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI NY
A/N: I apologize, I am not a medical profession nor do I or have I ever paid attention in bio before XP so, if anything's medically wrong bear with me.
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'Detectives,' the doctor began, emotionlessly and frank. 'I have some good news and some bad news,' everyone sat to attention, waiting for the words that linger on his lips.
'We were able to extract the bullet from Detective Angell successfully, however,' he paused, eyes glancing over each and every one of the eagerly waiting team. 'She hasn't yet recovered from the surgery.'
There was the deafening moment of silence as everyone tried to process the doctor's words. 'What do you mean 'hasn't yet recovered'?' Sheldon asked.
'Well, everything's gone according to plan, there was nothing wrong with the procedure, it is just… she has yet to wake up. The concussions, minor fractures to her skull and not to mention stress and shock from the gun shot has well… slipped her into a coma. She hasn't woken from the procedure yet and we're not sure if she will. '
The room turned pale, all the faced drained of any source of life. Lindsay turned away, holding her hand to her mouth to stop the squeeze of distress leave her. Stella strained herself to show no emotion while Mac sooth her comfortably. Danny and Sheldon sat silently until Don stood up and walked over to the doctor.
'Can we see her?' he asked, quietly, solemnly. The doctor gave a small nod and led the team out of the confinements of the room and down the long, never ending corridors of the hospital.
Walking into a ward, Jess lay motionlessly and pale, eyes shut as the blue fluorescents from the ceiling washed over her. She was peaceful, the true angel her name bared but there was something missing. The heart and soul of her ripped away as her vacant mind drifted in a never ending sleep. The scene was too painful, to see a member of your team, weak and helpless, fighting for their life even more than they'd ever done before. Jess was a fighter; she endured anything and was determined to prove her strength. She worked for what she wanted and only took what she needed and gave everything else away. She never asked for anything in return for her duties while risking everything she had on a daily basis but today, it was different. Today it wasn't the same fighting they'd witness her to do, escaping for the evil clutches of her captor, here, they were witnessing her fighting against life, fighting against death, to over come everything and walk out a free person – not someone trapped in an unwilling body.
'Jess,' Don walked slowly and carefully to Jess's bedside taking his place in a small seat next to her. The rest of the team slowly crowding to watch her, captivated by her stillness.
'Jess?' Don asked again, quietly still, almost trying not to wake her. Her picked up her hands in his and stroked the back of it - skin still as smooth as porcelain but this time just as cold. Instead of her warmth and forever brightly glowing ambience she was a mass of nothing. No beams of joyfulness radiating from her. No glowing smile or twinkling eyes beckoning you closer. She was a wreck. Hair plastered against her forehead, skin pale and blotchy, lifelessness hovering an inch from death. There was nothing they could do.
Don sat silently, feeling the pain and torture she was putting him through by lying there. He'd known Jess all of 3 years. She arrived a rookie; fresh from college, she as determined to make a statement the moment she walked through for her interview. She had criminal knowledge as well as stance. The sexist comments never bothered her and she wasn't afraid of going in head on with another officer. She kept quiet, feeling no need to spread her background. If people knew, would they think her weak for possibly getting the job through connections? Don hadn't of known until almost a year ago. He knew her when she first joined the precinct. He was her mentor for three weeks until his replacement came through and took over. Three weeks spent showing her the ropes. The bond was weak then, but eventually they were assigned the same case and then partners. No one would have guessed, not even Don, himself, that one day their friendship would go strong and strong until the point when there was no boundaries between them any longer. However, maybe that wasn't their finest choice. They'd heard countless stories of partners who had gotten too fond of each other. The loss of them caused more than just a little significant pain. The emptiness and aching of the heart was too much to bear, officers normal quiet or got reassigned to dampen the memories but Don didn't want that. He feared that the separation of them in work would old cause him to reach out more. The urge to simple see her would over ride all better judgement so, was it simply better, to turn away now, in case she ever woke up, or stay and endure the countless amount of pain that would come with it?
Don failed to notice any sense of passing time through the hours he stayed, sat on the cold, hard plastic chair, waiting for Jess to wake. The team had arrived and left, other officers came by to visit, no one daring to say a word to Don. His humbleness and salience was enough to make a church cry out for noise but everyone knew what was going on in his head. They'd all either lost an officer or been in the presence of one badly hurt but the have the mutual emotional bond that they share would never pull him away from her.
'Don,' Mac arrived, 4 hours after the first glimpsed of Jess in the hospital room, to arrive to see Don still there, waiting. 'Don, you need to go home.' Mac was trying to be kind, sympathetic. He'd lost someone but in a different way to how Don was about to lose his lover. Claire was simply gone one day never to return, they was no need for the pain of suffering or a constant reminder that she may never wake up. The feeling of slowly, gradually losing someone, Mac thought, was much greater that losing them in a second.
'I'm fine here,' Don replied, eyes growing darker as minutes ticked by.
'No, Don. She'll be fine, under constant monitoring and care until we hear something. If she begins making recovery they'll call us and you'll be the first to know. I promise you.'
'Can you promise me she'll wake up?' Don asked quietly and respectfully. He didn't mean anything against Mac but Mac understood how much he wanted to be around Jess. If she was to accidentally pass away in the night Don would never forgive him self for not being there at that exact moment but he needed to get some rest. Almost 48 hours of sleep was nothing to Mac and maybe even Don but 48 hours of constant worry and anxiety was taking a toll on him.
'No, I can't but you know her, right Don?' he looked up at his towering senior, 'You know she would never leave without saying good bye.'
Don stole one last glance at Jess, her vacant lips, her empty eyes, her soulless presence. He was only going to be away for a few hours and he'd be back. He wanted to come back to see her looking better, healthier, happier.
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For once in her life, Jess felt lost and alone. She'd never been bothered with solitude. She lived alone, spent years without a partner and even though, when she was a child, she was constantly surrounded by her older brothers there was nothing in the world that felt worse than being the only daughter, playing alone, working alone, doing everything alone. But for some reason, here, right now in a place that she couldn't really understand, she felt lost and inconsolable. She couldn't help but feel lonelier now, than she'd ever been in her whole life. 28 years of solitude was nothing compare to how she felt. The cold, blank eeriness of what ever was in front of her was daunting. Her warm, happier memories were where she wanted to be. She remembered Don, his bright blue eyes, unruly black hair and funky colourful ties – they were all the things she wanted again. She needed to see him again. Even if it was only for a second she needed to get that one last honest glimpse of him in case anything happened. She didn't want anything to happen but somewhere in her heart she could feel herself being pulled away from life. She always knew it would be in the line of duty was what would bring her down but it felt too early. There was so much more she wanted to do, to see, to understand, leaving now would leave hundreds of questions unanswered, such as would her children have blue or brown eyes, would she really get that little suburban house she always wanted, is life as picturesque as people perceived it to be? Life was full of unknowns and mysteries that she felt she simply could not leave without understanding or experiencing. She couldn't leave without hearing him say thoughs three little words.
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A/N: I could just imagine 'Almost Lover' by A Fine Frenzy playing during Don and Jess's monologue (DYK that song was sung was in 401 but the actual singer? 'Course you knew that!)