The second Santana left the girl's apartment she knew that the only right thing to do was to be upfront and honest with Brittany about the matter. She had in that second resolved to tell her girlfriend face to face. No she hadn't cheated but Santana still saw it as some sort of betrayal, however small, and thought transparency was the best way forward.
Of course she couldn't just duck out of her classes or skip any of her work shifts so she had to wait a few weeks until her regular scheduled visit. The plan was to arrange a weekend to reconnect and hopefully clear the air, because sitting on a secret was only bound to eat at her.
She had confided in Kurt about the matter. While he agreed that Santana hanging out with a cute girl who clearly had eyes for her probably wasn't the best decision he told her that in the end she did the right and loyal thing and that's all that mattered. He thought her confessing to something she didn't even do would only hurt Brittany.
Santana however had made up her mind, although that didn't stop Kurt from trying to talk her out of spilling her guts one final time on the day of her flight. She humored him and listened to him blather on as she made her way through the terminal.
''I still think you're overreacting here. You didn't even do anything and now you're flying off across the country to confess what exactly?'' Kurt stressed.
Santana sighed and pulled her bag behind her. ''To tell her that I made a mistake.''
''That's my point though,'' Kurt insisted. ''You had the opportunity to make a mistake but you didn't. You're a good girlfriend with a good heart. If you go out there and tell Brittany you were drunk and at some other girl's apartment and had a slip up with some weird almost-kiss, it's going to hurt her. Why put her through that...why put yourself through that?''
''Because I love her too much to hide something like that from her.''
''I don't understand why you can't just go out there and have a nice, sweet weekend together. She deserves that, so do you, telling her about that Dani girl throwing herself at you is just going to make things unnecessarily complicated. Why put yourself through that?''
''Are you saying you'd be happier if Blaine never told you he cheated on you? You would've wanted to just, what, live in ignorance?''
Kurt paused and went silent for several moments. ''That's different.''
''How?''
''You and Blaine had the same opportunity to stray, the difference is he wasn't strong or faithful enough to walk away from it. You were, Santana. You know how much I love Brittany and I normally wouldn't encourage you to hide things in your relationship but-''
''But nothing. I'm getting on the plan and I'm telling her.''
''Well…'' he exhaled and accepted that this matter was beyond him. ''Good luck.''
Santana smiled. She knew Kurt was only trying to help of course, but she had to go with her gut on this one.
''You'll be okay there for a few days by yourself?'' she asked him, eager to pivot the conversation in another direction to get the focus off of her.
''I'll be more than okay.'' He waved her worry off. ''The loft to myself for a weekend? Sounds like heaven. Besides if I get lonely I can invite Elliott over, or Sebastian.''
Santana narrowed her eyes at the mention of the former Warbler.
It had been three weeks since Santana's sorta-kinda kiss incident with Dani, but it had also been three weeks since Sebastian Smythe came into the picture too. Ever since that night Santana had noticed that Sebastian had been hanging around Kurt fairly regularly. She didn't quite get it at first until Kurt explained Sebastian's downfall.
Sebastian didn't have any money and had found out that he may have been a big fish in a small pond at Dalton but New York was a different matter. Bitchy Ohio gays really had nothing on bitchy New York gays. The city had slapped him across the face and given him a reality check. With no friends and with no Warblers acting as yes men to him, he really had no support system.
Kurt kind of found Sebastian pitiful now and well, he hadn't objected whenever Sebastian would invite himself along on their nights out. Still, Santana thought it was weird. She still thought Sebastian was working some kind of angle. She had made a note to keep an eye on whatever that was.
''I still don't get why you're giving that guy the time of day, he doesn't deserve your friendship.''
Kurt laughed. ''I'm sure some people said the same thing about you when we first became friends. Who's to say what anyone deserves.''
''He's a jerk.''
''Says the biggest bitch I know. Are you the same person you were a year ago, two years ago?''
''No.''
''Well, neither is he. You know I seem to recall not too long ago there was another lost and lonely soul who leaned on me for companionship in her great time of need?''
''He and I are not the same.''
''If you say so. Is he still utterly obnoxious and petty? Absolutely. But he's humbled himself, somewhat anyway. Santana, I'm not trying to be best friends with him but he literally has no one and nothing so I let him tag along when Elliot and I go out. What's the big deal?''
''It's just weird.''
''Whatever.''
''Anyways I'm about to board so I'll let you go.''
''Right. Give Brittany a hug for me. Tell her I miss her.''
''Of course.''
''And Santana? ...Don't fuck it up.''
That's what went through her head during the entire plane ride to Los Angeles.
Don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up.
She thought of a million different ways to tell Brittany about what had almost-but-not-really gone down during her flight to LA. She imagined telling her once they were in the car, or over dinner, or before bed. She imagined every possible outcome too, everything from Brittany pushing her out of a moving vehicle to chunking her luggage out of her apartment window. The worst ones though were all the scenarios that ended with Brittany in tears.
However this was going to go down she just knew she had to do it right and responsibly. Of course each and every hypothetical went out the window when she landed and Brittany met her at the gate.
Her plan was knocked out of her, literally, when Brittany ran to her and wrapped her arms around her. Santana was taken back at how tight and smothering it was. She loved every second of it.
"Baby," Brittany whispered into her hair.
Santana sank into her. "Britt."
"I missed you."
"I missed you too."
Brittany pulled away slightly to press their foreheads together. "You did?"
Santana nodded and brushed her nose against Brittany's pale one. She closed the tiny space between them and pressed their lips together. It felt like coming home. Soft and warm and tender.
"Does that prove how much I missed you?" Santana asked with a grin and went back in for another peck.
Brittany squinted and looked off into the distance beyond Santana as if she were giving it some great thought. "I'm not sure, I don't know if I believe it."
"No?" Santana playfully raised an eyebrow.
"Nope, I think I need more proof."
Santana pulled Brittany impossibly closer and went back in, connecting their lips in a slow and languid pace. This time she pressed even more emotion and want into it, as if she were devouring Brittany with desire.
"How about now?"
"You can do better than that," Brittany teased.
And again Santana was up to the challenge. She wasn't going to stop kissing Brittany until she made her point. This time when her lips found Brittany's, her tongue danced gently inside flicking against her girlfriend's. After several moments Brittany pulled away, this time out of breath.
"Now?"
Brittany's only response was to nod and blink unevenly as if she was dizzy. She licked her lips and Santana was tempted to go back in for another even more deeper kiss but restrained herself. They were embracing in a public place and she didn't exactly want to start giving people a show.
"Let's get out of here."
After a handsy make out session in the car that lasted for a good half hour they were out on the road with Brittany behind the wheel. Brittany had actually wanted a little something more in the airport parking lot but Santana had insisted that she didn't want to have Brittany when she had airplane all over her. She told her she wanted to shower and take her time with Brittany in bed. Brittany had pouted about not getting her way but agreed.
As they made their way to Brittany's place they held hands in the car, their fingers linked on top of the middle console.
"I have this whole weekend planned," Brittany said as she drove.
"Yeah?"
"Tonight we're going to have a nice quiet romantic dinner and then have awesome sex, tomorrow night we're going to a really cool art walk downtown followed by even more awesome sex, and then the next day I was thinking we could go out for a walk on the piers, again followed by awesome sex. Then the day after that if we have time maybe we can visit Rodeo Drive. I've been saving up my money so I really want to treat you to something hot and/or blingy which you can then thank me for with-"
"Let me guess, awesome sex?"
"I haven't seen you in what feels like forever, sorry if I'm a little eager. Or well, a lot eager. I've just missed you so much."
"I know and the feeling is definitely mutual." Santana gave Brittany's hand a reassuring squeeze. "And trust me we'll do plenty of that, Britt. But as for everything else, you really don't need to plan every second of this visit. I'm okay to just hang around your place watching TV and getting our cuddle on. I don't care about sight seeing, I just want to spend time with you."
''I just know that you're taking time out of your schedule to come be with me and I don't want you to feel like it's for nothing.''
''Hey, all I care about is us being together.''
Brittany nodded in understanding and raised their linked hands up to press her lips onto the back of Santana's palm.
When they eventually arrived at Brittany's place there were some pleasantries Santana had to get through with her roommate/dance friend. He was a sweet and flamboyant man who went the extra mile to make Santana feel at home and welcome. He even made the three of them a really fabulous dinner. With an extra person at the table the meal wasn't all that romantic but Santana still found herself having a lot of fun.
She enjoyed hearing and learning about how Brittany was finding herself in L.A. She loved hearing about the goings on in the dance world. Apparently there were really awesome choreographers and directors who knew how to work and treat people and then there were the people in the biz who dancers knew not to take calls from. The dance scene, just like every other scene, had its share of divas and backstabbers and shady casting people. One really had to be incredibly driven in order to navigate through it all. Brittany seemed to be doing a hell of a job all on her own, consistently booking jobs and earning herself a reputation of being incredibly hardworking.
It was a nice look into Brittany's life and career. By the time they said thank you to her roommate and called it a night Santana had a feeling of warmth and contentment running through her. This is what Brittany was meant to be doing, this was where she was meant to be doing it. they ret had made the right choice all those months ago.
She had a few moments to dwell on all of that as she got herself washed up and changed into fresh sleep clothes, of course the minute she entered Brittany's bedroom and saw her girlfriend sitting there with a look of anticipation on her face Santana knew the blonde had enough of talking and was in the mood for something else.
''Hi,'' Brittany greeted.
''Hi.'' Santana said. She couldn't stop smiling. She really missed crawling into bed with her girlfriend.
''Have a nice shower?''
''Very. I wish our shower back at the loft got that hot. Ours feels like it runs out of warm water after five minutes.''
''It's pretty nice especially when my muscles are achy, though just to be clear steamy showers aren't very steamy when I have to take them without you.''
Santana went and crawled onto the bed as well as Brittany, blanketing her body with her own. ''I know, but I'm here and we have time now. We can totally take a nice steamy shower every day that I'm here. But right now what do you say you and I get our cuddle on?"
X
''So remind me again, how exactly do you know Kurt?''
With Santana out of town Kurt had decided to make the most of his time in the loft. Of course for him that didn't mean a wild late night booze filled party but rather a quiet night in making homemade cinnamon rolls with Elliott while talking about their mutual love of vinyl records.
Kurt made the mistake of posting about their hang on Twitter and lo and behold, a half hour later Sebastian was at his doorstep claiming he was ''just in the neighborhood''. The next thing Kurt knew Sebastian was in the kitchen with them, trying to help but in the end making what had to be the world's most deformed cinnamon roll. The former Warbler did look like he was having fun though and only tensed when Elliott decided to find out more about him, specifically how he knew Kurt.
''That's...a story,'' Kurt offered hesitantly but shrugged in Sebastian's direction, silently telling him he had permission to share.
Kurt wasn't really bothered by sharing that bit of history but it looked like it gave Sebastian pause. ''We...uh...knew each other in Ohio. From high school. Pretty boring story.''
Elliott looked between the two men and gave a slow nod. Perhaps there was history there but it looked like it was history they weren't about to share. Before he could laugh and tease however Sebastian let out an awkward yelp as he mishandled the pastry bag of white sugary frosting. He had sprayed himself across his front with the concoction. A few sprays had even reached his face and hair.
''Christ,'' Sebastian muttered, dropping the bag to inspect himself.
''Looks like you had an accident,'' Elliott chuckled.
''It looks like I was in an orgy,'' Sebastian countered, trying to wipe the white glaze off of his cheek but only working to spread it around.
''You do look like a messy bottom,'' Kurt couldn't help but crack.
Sebastian's head shot up to give Kurt a comical glare that turned into a grin. He really did look like he stepped out of one of those videos he sometimes clicked on.
Kurt stepped forward though and placed both of his hands on Sebastian's shoulders. He pointed him to the rear of the loft. ''Go clean yourself up in the bathroom. My bedroom is down the hallway on the left. You can borrow some clean clothes.''
''Yeah, I'm not gonna wear your clothes,'' scoffed Sebastian.
''Yeah well I'm not gonna have you in my kitchen looking like you just stepped off of a gay bait bus.''
''How do you know what a bait bus is?''
Kurt rolled his eyes and gave the man a push. With laughter Sebastian walked off to clean himself up. When Kurt turned back to Elliott the man raised his eyebrows.
''So do I get the story?'' he asked Kurt.
''What story?''
''You and Sebastian. What's your deal? He showed up on the night of my birthday and then never went away. You told me you knew him from Ohio but you never said how. When you two are going back and forth with each other it's…''
''It's what?''
''I dunno,'' Elliott smirked. ''It feels like there's some history there. Romantic history?''
''What? Oh my god no, no, a million times no.''
Elliott looked tickled at how put off Kurt was by that idea. ''What, why is that such a wild thought?''
''It's just that he's so….'' Kurt went quiet and he made a weird dismissive gesture with his hand. He truly didn't have the words. There was no way he was ever attracted to the Sebastian Smythe that walked into his life junior year. ''And I would never-and he-he surely would never-no.''
''If you say so.''
The rest of the night was filled with cinnamon rolls, wine and long thorough conversations about music. There was laughing and eating and a healthy amount of debate.
It was odd though, Kurt noted, how Sebastian was uncharacteristically quiet. This was a guy who, to Kurt, had always seemed to thrive on being the center of everyone's attention. Sebastian always thought himself to be King Warbler if there ever was such a thing. It was strange how he was now seemingly more comfortable watching Kurt and Elliott take the lead in conversation through the night.
Several hours later Elliott, full of drink and deserts, had dozed off on the couch. This meant Kurt was left alone to entertain Sebastian who had decided to explore Kurt's domain. His snooping about wasn't critical however, he did look genuinely curious as he poked around Kurt's bedroom. He studied some of Kurt's fashion sketches and art prints. He fingered through his books and shelves of Broadway memorophilia. Eventually he made his way back to Kurt's closet where he pushed around hangers to better inspect his wardrobe.
''This hippo broach is the gayest thing I've ever seen in my life,'' Sebastian stated in observation.
''Must you?'' Kurt asked with a roll of his eyes. ''Why does everything out of your mouth have to be offensive?''
''How is that offensive? Sorry if I disrespected your homosexual fashion.''
''Which you happen to be wearing by the way.''
''Don't worry about your precious threads, Hummel, I'll get your clothes back to you,'' Sebastian said as he admired a stylish burgundy suit jacket before hanging it back up. He then made pause and gestured to his body, indicating the clothes he had changed into earlier after his cinnamon roll mishap.
''It's fine, those are last season anyway. I was surprised you fit so well into my stuff.''
''I guess the city really does suit you. You really filled out since coming to New York,'' Sebastian said. ''You've become more…''
''More?''
''Very…''
''Very?''
Sebastian looked a little unsure of how to phrase things. ''Tall.''
Kurt wasn't sure how to receive that. Sebastian seemed for once awkward as he stood there in Kurt's loft, in Kurt's bedroom in Kurt's own clothes. More importantly, in Kurt's city. A city that had embraced Kurt Hummel in a way that it hadn't quite embraced Sebastian Smythe.
''Thanks for inviting me over by the way,'' Sebastian added.
Kurt shrugged. ''I didn't really invite you, but-''
''Well thanks for having me over,'' Sebastian amended with a shrug.
''It's a Friday night. I would've thought you would have better things to do than make cinnamon rolls in the kitchen of your former nemesis.''
''For the record my cinnamon rolls were the fucking bomb and... I don't think you were ever my former nemesis. Not, like, officially. I lost interest in Blaine and by extension I lost interest in you. If you and I were ever true enemies I would have annihilated you.''
''Sure,'' Kurt said with a surly disbelieving tone. ''God all of that seems like forever ago.''
Sebastian leaned against Kurt's desk and gripped the edges. ''Does it?''
''It's strange,'' Kurt mused and plopped down onto his bed to reflectively stare up at the ceiling. ''I liked who I was then but at the same time I also feel so far away from that...that kid. I feel so much more confident and grounded and-''
''Buff?''
Kurt laughed and shook his head. He had indeed put on some lean muscle and his profile had somehow just chiseled itself something fierce, but that wasn't what he was on about. Kurt was talking about the internal. ''Sure, but it's more than that. I finally feel like a man, not because of how I look but how I feel on the inside. I know who I am and I think New York helped me to see him, Kurt Hummel, fully and completely.''
Sebastian looked quietly moved by this. He also looked somehow sad. ''I'm glad for you...honestly.''
''You don't sound like it.''
''I am, I do, I-'' Sebastian stumbled over his words and lowered his head. ''It's great that New York has shown you the man you were meant to be. I guess I'm...envious of you.''
''Me?'' Kurt almost squeaked as he sat up, propping himself up with his elbows. ''How? Why?''
''New York has turned you into this,'' Sebastian waved at the taller, fitter slightly more chiseled Kurt who seemed to radiate confidence both inside and out. ''But all New York has shown me is how I've been a total and complete asshole for most - if not all - of my life. You know?''
''Not really?''
Sebastian pushed himself off the desk and began to pace around the room as he listed off his grievances with the city. ''No one thinks I'm witty or charming here. Administrators at my school aren't as dazzled when I tell them that my dad's a state's attorney in Ohio because apparently half my class is made up of the spawn of New York elite. I have great hair for Ohio, but apparently in New York this hairstyle is like so five years ago.''
''I could've told you that.''
''If anything New York has shown me how I'm not as special or talented or exceptional as I thought I was and you know what-''
''What?''
''I'm not even mad at it,'' Sebastian laughed a pitiful, pathetic laugh. ''I'm not even mad at New York for showing me what I was or...wasn't. I'm mad at myself for buying my own BS for so long.''
Kurt looked taken back. That. Was a lot. When he and Sebastian had wandered off to his bedroom Kurt thought he would probably hear Sebastian judge his belt collection for an hour. He hadn't been expecting a real and honest confession like this.
''New York showed me what I was, what I am. Arrogant and privileged and small. I was a jerk ass jerk,'' Sebastian sighed.
Kurt wasn't about to lie or coddle or pity though. ''Yeah. Yeah, you were.''
''I was an asshole to you not because of you but because of something totally wrong and defective in me. How I treated you, how I treated people...that was about me more than anything. And that me was-''
''Selfish and disrespectful, elitist and rude?''
''I was gonna say a dumb slut,'' Sebastian admitted with a smirk. ''But fair is fair, I was those things too. I shouldn't have treated you that way. I shouldn't have treated your friends that way.''
''No, you shouldn't have.''
''I said a lot of horrible things to you, did a lot of horrible things and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry in more ways than I can count.''
Kurt swallowed. ''Well. Glad you can acknowledge that.''
''I mean it, Kurt. And the fact that since that night in the alley you've never asked for or demanded an apology…'' Sebastian took a breath, shame and guilt were itched all over his face. ''I don't know how you can look at me and not slap me clear across the face.''
Kurt tilted his head and squinted his eyes as if to ponder. ''A slap would be gratifying in a dramatical sense but it wouldn't make me feel better about us. As for an apology? I guess the reason I never required one from you is because...I don't need it. I mean, it's nice that you gave me one and I appreciate it but I don't need it.''
''That's very enlightened of you.''
''Not really. I'm just trying to be the best me.''
''You know you're pretty cool, Hummel.''
''You know you make some pretty disgusting cinnamon rolls, Smythe.''
''Whatever,'' Sebastian scoffed and then with a smug smirk he came and tossed himself onto Kurt's bed, starfish style. ''You're stuck with me now though so get used to it.''
''Fantastic,'' Kurt sang mirthlessly.
X
''This has never happened to me before,'' Santana said sitting up in bed.
''I'm sure it happens to a lot of people,'' Brittany replied sitting beside her.
Back in LA they had been getting down and heavy under the sheets. Brittany wanted it and god, Santana wanted it too but every time Santana attempted to take things up a few degrees it was like there was some weird mental block halting her, giving her some sort of ''performance anxiety.''
And if that wasn't the shit.
''Maybe you're just tired?'' Brittany said.
Santana's right eye twitched. When it came to sexy times one Santana Lopez did not get tired. She was a fiend, a machine, a god; or so she thought. ''But I'm not though. I'm totally here and in it. I've been waiting to be with you for what feels like forever. I'm like for realsies horned up over here, babe.''
Brittany nodded and smiled sympathetically. ''I'm sure you are.''
''I am!''
''Are you okay?'' asked Brittany.
''No,'' Santana squeaked. ''I mean yes.''
Brittany tilted her head. ''Are you sure?''
Santana's eye twitched again.
''Okay, what is going on with you? Why is your eye being all twitchy?'' Brittany moved her body around so that she was facing Santana. She reached over and nudged Santana to do the same, to open up her body and face her. ''And like, I know I made it into a huge thing earlier because I missed being with you too but if you're tired or something's wrong, we can just cuddle up and go to bed or stay up and talk it out. We don't have to do anything, Santana.''
''I know, I know,'' Santana said softy. Because she did. No matter how much she wanted it or Brittany wanted it, if something was wrong the other would always want to fix it and make things right rather than force any kind of intimacy.
''So what's going on?''
''I have to tell you something.''
''Okay...judging by your face and your super serious voice...it's not good?''
''Before I tell you I need you to know that I love you. That no matter what happens or where we are or who we are, I will always love you the most.''
Something broke across Brittany's face then. Something that looked like fear. She didn't react though and she didn't say a word, she remained silent, waiting on Santana to speak whatever she needed to speak.
And so, Santana did. She spoke slowly and calmly. She told her all about Elliott's big gay birthday bash and how she and Kurt went out with some of his other friends. She told her about the hot pink cake and the countless drinks and some kind of ''energy exchange'' with a girl named Dani. A girl named Dani who kissed her.
She took Brittany's hands in hers and told her that she stopped it before anything could even start and that even in her inebriated state she had made it clear that she was very much taken and very much in love and dedicated to that love. Once Santana got it all out she exhaled, it felt like she could finally breathe again. She wasn't sure what was going through Brittany's mind though. She could see that her girlfriend's blue eyes were watery and that she had pulled her bottom lip into her mouth.
''Brittany...say something. Anything. Just tell me what you're feeling. Yell at me, kick me out of bed. Something. Please?''
''How could you-''
Santana felt like something inside of her was about to collapse.
''How could you think I would be angry with you,'' Brittany finished.
Santana swallowed and felt a sense of relief. That sentence could've gone a whole other way.
''You mean you're not upset with me?''
Brittany looked a little unsure about how to answer. ''Am I upset with you? No. Of course not. Am I upset that it happened? ...Yes. I mean, did you...did you want it?''
''No.''
''Did you like it?''
''No.''
''Did you like her?''
''No. Not like that. She planted one on me and the second I told her it wasn't gonna happen she backed off. Nothing happened. I swear, Brittany.''
''I believe you and, I get it,'' Brittany admitted. ''If I met you in a bar or club I'd jump at the chance to make a move on you too. It's not your fault you're so hot and some girl wanted a piece of that.''
Santana laughed at her phrasing.
''It just sucks to hear,'' Brittany admitted.
''I'm sorry.''
''But you have nothing to be sorry for, not really. The thought of some other girl's lips on yours…'' Brittany shivered, hating the imagery. ''I hate it but I know it wasn't something you invited.''
''For what it's worth, for those short few milliseconds...I felt nothing. As much as I missed feeling you and touching you and having you and ya know, there wasn't a second of temptation.''
''I know.'' Brittany reached over to tenderly play with the ends of Santana's hair. ''I've always trusted you.''
''You know if the roles were reversed I don't think I'd be as cool-headed as you,'' Santana said.
''Oh you'd want names-''
''And addresses,'' Santana laughed for a few moments but it eventually petered out. ''For the record though, if something ever did happen I wouldn't be angry at you either.''
''I know that too and just so you know...there hasn't been any moments of temptation for me either. Like, okay yes people have definitely hit on me but that's as far as it's gone.''
''You've never thought about it?'' Santana wasn't asking to be accusatory but rather out of genuine curiosity.
''No. Don't get me wrong I've totally missed sex but only with you. I can obviously see when another person is hot but it's never, I'm never...they're not you.''
''You're not being satisfied in the way that you should,'' Santana said in realization.
''And neither are you but that's the choice we made for the time being. It's not ideal but I still stand by it because I know you're worth it. We're worth it.''
''It still makes me sad.''
''Me too, but that just means we have to work harder at staying connected in every way. I didn't like hearing it but thank you for telling me the truth.''
''Always.''
Brittany moved forward, placing her lips against Santana's in reassurance. Firm and passionate. Sometimes Santana needed that extra little bit of physical affection to reaffirm what they were and had. When Brittany pulled away Santana was smiling a sheepish smile.
All was well between them. They would survive this minor speed bump.
''So what do you want to do tonight?'' Santana asked. ''Wanna stay up and watch some TV? Don't make fun but I've really gotten into old school Baywatch and I think you'd like it too.''
''Yeah no,'' Brittany laughed heartily. ''I know you're doing this because you probably think telling me about that girl wanting you turned me off and maybe it did a little but right now more than anything I want you to show me.''
''Show you what?''
Brittany moved back towards the headboard and rested her upper body against it.
''Show me what you've been missing.''
Santana bit her bottom lip and nodded, happy to oblige. That she could do.
If Brittany needed her in that way Santana was going to give herself to her in that way.
Santana breathed with ease as she went to place a very slow and promising kiss on her. Neither of them said a word. Brittany didn't tell Santana what she wanted and Santana didn't ask. She already knew.
She helped Brittany remove her sleep shirt and in turn Brittany did the same for Santana. And then Brittany smiled, placed her hands on Santana's bare shoulders and tapped, gently urging her to move lower. Santana kissed her way down Brittany's body, pressing her lips across her shoulders and collar bone, further down beside her belly button and then on the tiny freckle on her hip. She kissed her way down until she was exactly where Brittany wanted her.
And later as Santana hummed and moaned inside of her Brittany grinned up at the ceiling feeling content and connected as Santana held her thighs open and proved just how much she missed her girlfriend.
They still had it.
No amount of miles and no amount of girls would ever change that.
They had what it took to make it because at the end of the day they had trust and that above everything else would see them through the distance.
The next morning Santana and Brittany did have a more lengthy and frank talk and reassured each other that they were still on the same page. These things might happen, Brittany had said, but as long as they always came to the other with the truth nothing and no one could break them.
And so they made the most of their time together during their trip. Both of them felt re-energized by talking their feelings out. They spent the rest of Santana's time there sight seeing and going out to dinner and yes, making love every chance they got. In that way they were able to remind each other of what they were missing and what no one else would ever be able to provide.
Santana didn't just prove her love between the sheets though. She found other ways too. She proved her love every time she reached over to hold Brittany's hand in a restaurant or movie theater. She proved it every time she smiled so adoringly at her. Every time she laughed at something she said. She proved it every time she rolled over in the middle of the night to hug Brittany's back in her sleep.
Santana proved it by always thinking of Brittany first.
They both knew that when they parted at the end of the trip there would still be longing, but nothing so horrible or severe that would drive either of them away or into someone else's arms.
Brittany had no doubt that Santana would always love her the most.
X
Of course Santana's Brittany-high ended the second her trip was over and she landed back in New York.
She had been in a really good mood and was even looking forward to seeing Kurt and filling him in on the Brittany front of things. He was supposed to pick her up from the airport so she figured they'd have plenty of one on one time in the car. She assumed so anyway. Santana was surprised when her ride arrived, swerving up to the curb in a shiny silver BMW Coupe. The window rolled down to reveal Kurt in the passenger's seat with none other than Sebastian Smythe behind the wheel.
''What the hell is he doing here?'' Santana said in greeting.
''Lovely to see you too, Ho-pez,'' Sebastian replied and adjusted his mirror.
Kurt shrugged in response. ''I was going to borrow my classmate's car but there was a sudden emergency.''
''He saw it was an old orange Pontiac Aztek and told her nevermind,'' Sebastian chimed in.
Santana narrowed her eyes. Of course Kurt would refuse a vehicle if he thought the color was hideous or didn't compliment his outfit. ''Really?''
''That car was vulgar looking,'' Kurt said. ''Besides Sebastian offered to give me a lift to get you.''
Santana was about to open her mouth to complain but the series of horns honked at her. People were waiting for them to move and what other choice did she really have. Kurt got out of the vehicle and moved his seat up so she could shimmy herself and her bag into the backseat and then Sebastian was peeling off.
Her travel bag was on her lap and she sank beneath the weight of it. The backseat was more like a chair for all the room it provided. This car was definitely one of those that provided style over comfort.
''This is such a fuckboy car,'' she said and tried to move her legs so they weren't up to her neck.
Sebastian smiled in a charming but jerky way. ''Sorry it's not a Suburu, Lopez, I know you lesbians love those.''
''Don't be a pain in the dick,'' she warned the former Warbler.
''Will you two please,'' Kurt chastised.
''Whatever,'' Sebastian and Santana said in unison.
''Tell me about your trip,'' Kurt said to her.
''It was good,'' Santana began with a bit of hesitance. She wasn't quite sure what she was comfortable sharing with Kurt in front of Sebastian. ''Brittany and I got a lot of quality time together. She showed me around a shoot she's going to be doing next week. Did some swimming. Did some sightseeing.''
''But did you do her?'' Sebastian asked.
''That's none of your business,'' Santana said pointedly.
''That means you didn't get any.''
''Since when are you interested in the details of lesbian sex?''
''I'm just trying to make conversation, Santana, and you know what? I've still yet to hear a thank you for coming with Kurt and picking you up.''
''Yeah no, that's not going to happen.'' She gave the driver's seat the tiniest shove forward.
''Excuse you, if you damage my interior your ass is paying for it,'' Sebastian warned her.
Santana wasn't scared. ''Can you just shut up and drive. Kurt will you do me a favor since you're in the front seat and punch him in the neck?''
''I'd rather not seeing as how I don't want to get in a car crash,'' Kurt said.
And then, almost as if on cue they heard a loud noise come up from the rear. A noise that caused Sebastian to quickly and urgently pull off to the side of the busy road as a heavy thump-thump-thump sound continued. It only stopped when they came to a complete halt. Once they were safely away from oncoming traffic Sebastian hopped out of the vehicle, followed by Kurt, Santana struggled to pry herself out of the tiny backseat but eventually she too joined them out on the side of the road to see what the cause of the thudding noise was.
''Well hell,'' Santana sighed when she saw that the right rear tire had been blown out by something.
Sebastian looked pissed. ''Great. This is great.'' He turned to Santana. ''I blame you for this.''
''How is this my fault?''
''Uh, if you didn't need a ride from the airport I wouldn't have ran over whatever debris caused this.''
Santana scoffed. ''Or maybe if you'd have focused on driving instead of making lesbians-love-Suburu jokes, you would have been able to avoid it in the first place.''
''Well don't they? Speaking of, since you're a lesbian and by defacto must be car savvy, the spare is in the trunk, get to it.''
''I'm not fucking getting to it,'' Santana laughed at the absurdity. ''I don't know how to change a tire. I'm not one of those super useful I-can-build-my-own-coffee-table lesbians.''
''I thought you were a stud,'' Sebastian teased snottily.
''It's your car, you can change the tire.''
''Like hell, I don't know how to change a tire either,'' he said, practically stomping his foot.
Kurt, who had been watching this exchange, quietly, simply sighed and made for the trunk of the car without being told to. He gathered the spare as well as the appropriate tools and went to work, bending down to inspect and begin the process of changing a tire. He had been silently working for a few minutes when he noticed both Santana and Sebastian watching him like he had grown another head.
''What?'' he asked.
''You can change a tire,'' Sebastian said, astonished.
''I didn't know you could do that,'' Santana added.
Kurt shook his head at them. ''I worked at my dad's tire shop growing up, remember? It's like changing a light bulb for me. I can do it in my sleep.''
Sebastian and Santana exchanged impressed looks with one another. Kurt was too busy on the task at hand to pay them any mind. They moved and went to stand off to the side a bit, allowing Kurt more room to work and concentrate.
Santana took the moment to check her phone and exchange a few texts with Brittany. They went back and forth about Brittany's morning routine as well as Santana's minor road mishap. She took a quick pic of their friend in the middle of the process. ''Kurt's saving the day,'' she added in a text. What really gave her pause though was the picture she took.
Kurt was on the side of the road in his fashionable outfit, getting his hands dirty. There was no fretting over his ruined clothes or the dash of grime on his cheek, he was simply doing what needed to be done. That wasn't too surprising because as he had reminded her he had been known to pick up some hours in the tire shop for extra cash now and again. What was surprising however was Sebastian's face in the background of the photo.
Santana watched Sebastian who was watching Kurt. It looked like some kind of awe or maybe even admiration.
She wasn't sure what it was she saw in his expression. She just knew that yes, this was definitely something she was going to keep an eye on.