(The following story contains exaggerations, swear words, 4th wall breaks and ships you may not like! Viewer discretion is advised! )
Momo White and the seven dwarves
Long ago in a far away land, the king and queen of the Superhero kingdom were expecting a child. When the baby was born it was a beautiful girl with snow-white skin and hair as black as the night. The king was curious how could this happen, since both he and his wife were blonde. In result of this the queen died under unknown circumstances.
The king remarried to a beautiful woman with blue skin, pink hair and an evil heart. It didn't take the new queen long to get rid of the king and completely take control over the kingdom.
The evil queen (Chitose Kizuki) had a magic mirror. Every morning she would go to the mirror and ask it the same question:
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, am I the fairest of them all?"
And the mirror (Twice) would respond "Uuummm I don't know..."
The evil queen would then take off her top and review her breasts. "How about now?" she would ask.
"Oh you, you are the fairest of them all!" the mirror would finally say.
As for the princess, she was named Momo, but she was mostly known as Momo White, because of her as white as snow skin. The evil queen had no problem with Momo White. She was even planning to marry her to one of the princes from the neighboring kingdoms. But that all changes one day...
"WHAT!" the evils queen yellow at the mirror.
"You heard me right, bitch! Momo White is the fairest of them all!"
"But don't you see my boobs?!"
"I do, but Momo White's are better than yours."
It was true. Momo White had grown into a beautiful young woman, truly the fairest of them all. But the evil queen was having non of it. She called the royal huntsman (Sato) immediately.
"What is your wish, my queen?" asked the huntsman.
"I want you to kill Momo White!" the queen answered angrily.
The huntsman was shocked by that wish. He couldn't voice his thoughts, because the queen had one more request.
"Once she is dead I want you to take her heart and liver and bring them to me!"
"Dare I ask what would Her Highness do with-" the huntsman started asking, but the queen answered immediately.
"I will cook and eat them! Now GO!"
The huntsman didn't waste any time. He wanted to get away from the queen as fast as possible. He found Momo White picking flowers at the edge of the forest. The huntsman tried to sneak up to the unsuspecting princess and raised his knife but he found himself unable to kill her.
"I...I CAN'T!" he yelled and dropped the knife getting the attention of Momo White.
"Were you trying to kill me?!" Momo White asked, shocked.
"I am sorry! The queen made me! She wants to you dead!"
"But why?" asked the princess.
"I don't know, but you have to run away!" the huntsman point at the forest "There is a small cabin in the woods! You should be safe there."
"So you are sending me to the forest, filled with beasts and thieves, to look for some cabin?!" Momo White asked sarcastically.
"Look I know it's not perfect, but it's still better than staying with the queen who wants to eat your heart and liver, isn't it?"
"I...guess..."
"Then don't waste any more daylight and run! I will cover you!"
"Thank you, my friend!" Momo White thanked the huntsman and ran off into the forest.
The huntsman killed a boar and took its heart and liver. He delivered them to the queen, who cooked them and viciously devoured them.
"Crazy bitch!" the huntsman said to himself.
As for Momo White, she long wondered in the forest. She passed by a cabin made out of candy, but the granny inside freaked her out, especially when she asked for Momo White's blood. Finally the princess found the cabin the huntsman was talking about.
She managed to get inside and found seven small beds inside. It was already dark outside so after eating and making some fire, Momo White lay down across three of the beds and fell asleep.
Unknown to her, at that moment the owners of the cabin were coming home. They were seven dwarves who were mining gems in the nearby mine.
The dwarves' names were:
Speedy (Iida)
Mighty (Midoriya)
Explody (Bakugou)
Chady (Kirishima)
Birdy (Tokoyami)
Sparky (Kaminari)
and Pervy (I think we all know who's that)
"Explody, that was very reckless of you!" Speedy scolded his fellow dwarf, while chopping the air with his hands "You could have caused the mine's stability with that explosion!"
"Oh eat my ASS, Glasses!" Explody yelled at the other dwarf "We found more gems, so what's the problem!?"
"Speedy has a point, Explody." Mighty said quietly "You should be more-"
"SHUT UP, DEKU!" the dwarf with the blonde hair yelled at the one with green hair.
Chady interupted them by pointing at their house "Guys, look!"
The other dwarves looked and saw light coming from the cabin.
"There's someone in our house!" Sparky said, a little scared.
"Whoever it is, I am going to blow them up!" Explody smiled maliciously.
"Why are you so obsessed with blowing stuff up?" Birdy asked.
"If I am going to be a dwarf in this story at least I should be allowed to blow stuff up!" Explody answered.
The dwarves quietly entered into their house and found the sleeping girl on their beds.
"It's a girl." Mighty said curiously as he and the others dwarves surrounded the beds she was sleeping on.
"And a hot one to boost!" Pervy said as saliva started dripping from his mouth.
"Don't even think about it, Pervy!" Speedy warned the other dwarf while chopping the air "This is a crime that has very harsh consequences!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HANG ME BECOME YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" Pervy yelled as he started climbing on the beds "I WILL NOT DIE WITHOUT TOUCHING THE SOFT-"
The other dwarves tried to stop Pervy but it turned out they didn't have to, because the girl woke up and punching the dwarf with purple balls for hair off of her.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME, CREEPS!" Momo White yelled, while she was trying to get away from the dwarves.
"Hey easy!" Chady stepped forward "We don't want to hurt you. Most of us are not like Pervy." he pointed at the unconscious dwarf on the floor.
"So uuumm why are you in out house? Sparky asked "Did you get lost?"
"I am afraid not." Momo White told her story to the dwarves and after she was done, they gathered around to decided what to do.
"I say kick her out!" Explody said "We shouldn't get in the queen's bad side!"
"Come on, man!" Chady looked at his best friend "She has nowhere else to go. We are her only hope."
"I don't give a fuck! Our lives are hard enough as it is! We don't need Miss Wanted over there to make it harder!"
"Why don't we let her spend the night here and decide at the morning?" Birdy suggested. The other dwarves agreed (even though Explody still wasn't up) and announced their decision to Momo White.
"Oh thank you!" Momo White said happily "I promise you won't regret this!"
"Yeah, yeah, now can we sleep? We are at work tomorrow!" Explody hissed while he was getting ready for sleep.
After making a bed on the floor for Momo White and after tying up Pervy to his bed so he wouldn't try anything during the night, everyone in the cabin fell asleep.
The next day when the dwarves woke up they found out that their house had been cleaned up and that the breakfast was prepared. All of this was done by Momo White.
"This is the least I can do after you let me stay here." the princess said to her little hosts.
After this even Explody agreed to let Momo White stay with them, though he still had his doubts.
After breakfast the dwarves prepared themselves for work. Each took his pointy hat and pickaxe.
"Even though the queen doesn't know you are here you must be careful!"Speedy warned Momo White upon leaving "Don't let anyone in the house and don't talk to anyone!"
Momo White smiled and kissed Speedy on the forehead "Okey, I will be careful."
"Good." Speedy said, a little flushed by the kiss "Let's go, men!"
"Thank you for everything, Miss White." Mighty said to the princess.
"No, I should be the one thanking you!" Momo White kissed Mighty on the forehead, which caused him to blush like crazy and giggled, before he was pushed by Explody.
"Move it, Deku!" he then turned to Momo White "Don't burn down the house while we are gone!" And he left without a kiss.
"Don't worry!" Chady said to Momo White "He is much nicer when you get to know him."
"No he isn't!" Birdy said while he was passing by.
"I would say he gets worse!" Sparky added while also passing by.
Momo White laughted gently "It's okey. I am sure we will get along." she then kissed Chady on the forehead. The dwarf happily went after the other dwarves.
Finally Pervy came, but Momo White refused to kiss him. Needless to say, Pervy was disappointed.
And so the dwarves went to work and Momo White returned in the house and started preparing dinner and tea for the dwarves when they come back. She was happy to be safe, but she didn't know that the dwarves' home was not as hidden as she had thought...
(To be continued...)
(I don't own any of the characters!)