DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own any of the characters from TBAA. They belong to CBS.
God loves you
"Gloria's Reason"
A week later, Tess sought her 'little angel out. She wanted to ask Gloria something and she hoped the youngest angel would talk to her. She knew they weren't as close as Gloria and Monica were, but Tess still loved Gloria all the same.
Tess found Gloria in the sunroom, reading a book. She was engrossed in the story, everything else blocked out.
Tess waited until Gloria put a bookmarker in it before making her presence known.
"Can we talk, little angel?" Tess asked. She came into the room and sat down next to the youngest angel.
"Okay. I guess." Gloria replied. There was reluctance in her tone and Tess detected it instantly.
"I need to ask you something." Tess began, praying silently that God would give her the right words to get through to Gloria.
"Okay." Gloria said again. She gave Tess her full attention before her gaze landed on the half opened door.
Tess knew what Gloria was thinking and gave her a half smile.
"Monica's outside watering some plants. She should be in soon."
Gloria nodded.
"Gloria, why did you do it?" Tess inquired, her brown eyes searching Gloria's identical ones for an answer. "Why did you take ecstasy? I know you didn't know what it was or that it was dangerous, but why didn't you think before acting?"
Gloria thought about this for a few minutes before answering Tess's question.
"I…I guess I did it because I was desperate."
"Desperate for what?" Tess asked, not sure she was following Gloria's train of thought.
Gloria shrugged as she gazed at the floor.
"I was desperate for an escape. But mostly, I was just…" Her voice trailed off and the elder angel was sure she heard a small sob escape the youngest's
lips. "…I was just homesick! I missed Heaven so much and that boy said that stuff was prayer in pill form. I just wanted to go home so badly, if only for
a few minutes…I just missed God and Heaven so much!"
"Gloria, sweetheart, God is always with you. He hasn't left you."
Gloria nodded as she choked back a sob.
"I know, but I missed Heaven so badly!" The youngest angel admitted, the tears streaming freely down her face now.
"I know how you-" Tess began, but was cut off by Gloria's tearful, but slightly frustrated tone.
"No you don't!" Gloria shouted, not caring that she was overstepping major boundaries at the moment.
"Excuse me?" Tess asked, more in reference to Gloria shouting at her rather than what she had said.
Gloria, not understanding the meaning behind Tess's words and blinded by frustration, lashed out once again.
"Don't sit there and tell me you understand because you don't! You don't understand! You don't know what it's like!"
"Then help me to understand." Tess encouraged, her voice as calm as it could be under the circumstances.
Oblivious to Tess's willingness to listen, Gloria launched into a verbal rant, not caring if her voice rose in volume. She had been holding this in for a month now and she was going to let it out.
A part of Gloria was angry at Tess and she was going to make her point loud and clear.
"You don't understand at all! You don't know what it's like to be born and have to leave the only home you ever knew and hardl what it's like to want to go home so badly, but know you can't! You don't know what it's like to be trapped somewhere you know isn't truly your home and spend nights missing it so badly it hurts! So don't tell me you understand because you don't!"
Gloria turned away as a sob escaped her lips.
Tess was caught between a rock and a hard place with this one. She wanted to comfort Gloria, but another part wanted to scold her for her outburst.
Heaving a sigh, Tess took the high road. She glared at Gloria before addressing her verbally.
"I know you're upset, but you better tone down the attitude, little angel as well as the volume of your voice. I'm not the enemy here. I'm just trying to help you."
Gloria jerked her head around and glared at Tess once again.
"Help me? That's new. All you've ever done since God sent me here was lecture me and criticize me! If that's what you call helping me, then I don't need it. I have a supervisor who actually cares about me. And it's not you!"
Before Tess could say anything, Monica entered the room. She had heard the commotion from outside and wanted to know what was going on.
The Irish angel gazed from her crying case worker to Tess, who looked as angry as Gloria felt.
"What's goin' on in here? I heard you two all the way from outside." She then rephrased her statement. "Actually, I heard my little one all the way from outside. What happened?"
Tess sighed as she tried to explain.
"I tried talking to Gloria and she decided that talking back to me was a good way to express her feelings."
Monica shook her head in disbelief. She then gazed at Gloria, her hazel eyes pleading for a reasonable explanation.
"Gloria, you didn't. Please tell me you didn't talk back to Tess."
Gloria nodded, ashamed to look Monica in the eye. She had been angry at Tess before, but now she was afraid of what her supervisor was going to say.
It was true that Monica was gentle with Gloria most of the time. But during those few times when the youngest angel wasn't listening or did something wrong, the Irish angel didn't hesitate to put her in her place verbally.
Rather than scold Gloria at the moment, Monica tried her best to understand why she had done it.
"But why?" Monica inquired. She was searching her charge's innocent and usually joyful eyes for the answer. "Why would you do somethin' like that?"
Gloria shook her head. She didn't have an answer for her supervisor at the moment.
"Gloria, please, talk to me. I want to help, but I can't if you won't let me. I'm not mad at you, I just want to know why you did it."
Gloria let out a sob as she glanced at her superior before her gaze landed on her supervisor once again.
Monica saw Gloria's actions and tried to get her to focus on her.
"Gloria, it's okay. Look at me, little one. I need an answer. It's me you need to answer, not Tess. Try and concentrate on that."
Gloria did so, but it was hard.
"I don't know!" Gloria finally exclaimed.
Monica could sense fear and frustration in her case worker's voice and decided to talk to her privately. She could sense Gloria was feeling too many bad emotions to be reasoned with at the moment.
"Gloria, could you leave Tess and me alone for a minute, please? Go wait for me in the den."
"But Monica…" Gloria started, but stopped at the look on the Irish angel's face.
"Gloria, please. I'll be in to talk to you in a few minutes." Monica told her, her voice as calm as it could be. She truly wasn't mad at Gloria, but she had to help straighten this out and fast.
Gloria gave Monica a pleading look, but the Irish angel just shook her head and pointed to the hallway.
"Now, Gloria." She said. There was a finality to her Irish lilt that Gloria recognized instantly.
Without another word, Gloria left the room.
Once she was gone, Monica turned her attention to her former supervisor.
"Tess, please, let me talk to Gloria. I think I know why she talked back to you. It's not an every day occurrence, but it was still wrong. And I'll let Gloria know that. But I honestly think she's been holdin' this in for a long time now. She's been home sick now for awhile and you just played it off."
Tess was about to protest, but stopped at the earnest look on Monica's face.
"I'm not tryin' to take sides, Tess. I promise you. But Gloria's in a lot of emotional pain and the only way she's gonna heal is if we both help her. But in order to do that, you need to understand her a wee bit better. Let me go talk to her and then you can try. I know she didn't mean to talk back to you."
"Okay, Ms. Wings. But you better get through to her."
"Ye of wee faith." Monica said, teasingly. She gave Tess a half cheeky grin before leaving the room.
Upon arriving in the den, Monica found Gloria sitting on the window seat. She was still crying and the new supervisor could tell there were more tears to come.
The Irish angel made her way over to the youngest and put a hand on her left shoulder.
"Gloria? We need to talk, little one." With that, Monica sat down beside Gloria and pulled her in for a hug.
Gloria buried her face in Monica's shoulder as another sob escaped her lips.
Monica knew she had to get Gloria calmed down first before she attempted to reason with her.
For the next five minutes, Monica just held Gloria and combed her fingers through her hair. She encouraged her to cry it out and assured her that she was there.
It took Gloria ten minutes, but she was finally able to calm down.
Once her breathing went back to normal, she said something that broke Monica's heart.
"Tess is never gonna forgive me!" Her voice was lost and full of pain.
"Aye, she will. Gloria, Tess will forgive you. You just need to give her time. She knows deep down that you didn't mean to lose your temper with her. She knows."
"Monica, I'm sorry. I just…" Gloria's voice trailed off, giving way to more sobs.
"Gloria, look at me, sweetheart." Monica gently coaxed.
Gloria did so, noticing Monica's stern tone was gone.
"Tess still loves you. She does. She told me as much downstairs."
"How can she still love me after what I did?" Gloria asked, her voice full of sadness and guilt.
Monica smiled.
"Because she's Tess. And because she knows you didn't mean what you said."
Gloria shook her head.
"That's just it, Monica. I did mean what I said. I meant every word. Tess doesn't understand me like you do and she doesn't know how…it's just hard!"
Monica sighed. She knew Gloria was right, but she also needed to help her understand that talking back to Tess was unacceptable.
"Gloria, I know you're goin' through a hard time right now. Believe me, I do. But that doesn't give you the right to talk back to Tess. It's disrespectful and Tess won't tolerate it."
"I know. And I'm sorry I did it. " Gloria admitted, sincerely.
"I know you are, little one. But you need to apologize to Tess, not me."
Gloria nodded.
A few minutes of silence passed before Monica broke it.
"Gloria, I do know what you're goin' through. I promise you, I do."
"I know you do. But Tess doesn't understand me like you do." Gloria said matter-of-factly.
"Aye, I know. But the Father put you and me together as supervisor and caseworker because He knew we were a perfect match. He knew I would be able to teach you how to be an angel of God. But most of all, the Father knew I would show you the same love He has for all of us."
"But Tess doesn't do that!" Gloria practically whined. She then added, "She doesn't get it! She doesn't understand!"
Monica sighed.
"Tess loves you, little one. She would do anythin' for both of us."
Gloria nodded. She knew Monica spoke the truth on that point.
"Monica?" Gloria said, a few minutes later.
"Aye, little one?" Monica replied. She gazed down at Gloria with nothing but sincere love in her honey colored eyes.
"Do you still love me?" Gloria asked. She sounded so unsure.
"Oh yes. Aye, I do. I love you so much, Gloria. I love you so much. Why would you think otherwise, sweetheart?"
Gloria shrugged as best she could in Monica's embrace.
"Well because you scolded me downstairs."
Monica knew this was coming and she had to play it carefully.
"Gloria, the reason I scolded you was because you back talked Tess. And you know angry or not, that's somethin' you shouldn't do. The other reason I scolded you was because you weren't listening to me."
"I know, but I just felt so trapped, I didn't know what else to do." The youngest angel admitted, calming down slightly.
"But Tess is NOT the enemy. She loves you so much." Monica tried, hoping Gloria would believe her.
Gloria didn't answer, choosing to snuggle further into her supervisor's protective and loving hold.
"I will never do something like that again." Gloria stated, referring to the ecstasy.
"Do you mean taking ecstasy or back talking Tess?" Monica wondered aloud.
Gloria thought about it for a minute.
"Taking ecstasy." She finally replied.
"I'm glad to hear that. But what about back talking Tess?"
Gloria grinned a wee bit.
"I'll try my best not to do that again."
"That's good to hear." Monica said, hugging Gloria close.
The smile quickly vanished from the youngest angel's face and was replaced with a frown. She sighed and Monica heard it instantly.
"Gloria? What is it, little one?" The Irish angel asked. Her gentle Irish lilt was full of concern.
"I just…I miss home so much!" Gloria admitted, tears spilling from her brown eyes like a smoothe, spring shower.
"Shh, it's okay, it's okay. I know, Gloria, I know you do. I miss it too."
"Tess doesn't get it!" Gloria repeated, her voice full of distress. "She doesn't understand!"
"Aye, she does. She does understand, little one. Tess knows you're home sick. She understands you want to go back home to Heaven."
"I miss it so much!" Gloria cried, her voice desperate and full of longing.
All Monica could do was hold Gloria and reassure her she was there.
"It's okay, sweetheart. It's all right. I'm right here. You're okay. The Father is always with you, Gloria. He hasn't left you. But I know you miss Heaven somethin' awful. Like I said, I miss it too."
"Tess doesn't." Gloria stated, her tears starting to subside.
"Yes she does. Gloria, listen to me. Tess misses Heaven too."
"Monica's right, little angel. I miss it too." A familiar and wise voice said from just inside the doorway.
Monica glanced up to see Tess standing there.
Upon hearing her superior's voice, Gloria tried to push herself deeper into Monica's hold.
"Gloria, it's okay." Monica assured her. "I have you. It's all right, little one. You're safe. Tess isn't going to hurt you."
Gloria nodded, but stayed where she was all the same.
"Little angel, it's okay." Tess assured her, sitting down on a chair across from her two angel babies.
Gloria glanced up and made brief eye contact with Tess before turning away.
"Tess, I…I'm sorry! I shouldn't have talked back to you. I'm really sorry!"
"I know you are, baby. I know. I also know you were afraid and confused. You felt trapped and you were pushing at anything you could. I got the message loud and clear. But you know I don't tolerate back talk from anyone."
"I know." Gloria replied in an effort to show Tess she was paying attention. "It's gonna be okay, sweetheart. I know you miss Heaven something awful, but it'll get better. I promise. I know you want to go back, but you can't right now. The Father wants us to stay here most of the time. But you'll get to go back home to Heaven every once in a while."
"I know. But it's not enough!" Gloria cried.
"I know it feels that way sometimes." Tess comforted. "Believe me, I know." She came over and sat next to where Monica and Gloria were sitting. "But you're not alone. Monica and I are here and the Father is always with you, Gloria. He loves you just like we do."
Gloria raised her head and glanced at her superior.
"I love you too, Tess." She replied, sincerely. "I love you too."
Tess grinned, despite the situation. She held her arms out to her 'little angel.
The youngest angel hesitated, but after one reassuring look from Monica, she took the plunge. She remembered how safe she had felt when Tess had held her a few nights ago and a part of her wanted to feel that safety again.
Once Tess had secured Gloria in a loving hug, she planted a kiss on the top of her head before combing her fingers through her hair.
Gloria just buried her face in Tess's shoulder, letting the remaining tears fall.
Much like Monica had done, Tess encouraged Gloria to cry it out while assuring her she was safe.
"Shh, it's all right, honey. It's okay. Gloria, it's okay." Tess continued to soothe Gloria until she started to calm down.
Monica spoke up just then. She was fighting back tears of her own at this point.
"Tess, Gloria didn't mean to be disrespectful. She was just feelin' so lost and afraid. She was missin' home somethin' awful and she just…" Her voice trailed off as she gazed at her former supervisor.
Tess nodded to show Monica she understood.
"I know, angel girl. I know. I also know you miss it too."
"I do," Monica admitted. "But not as much as Gloria does. Tess, she's just a baby. She's still so young."
Just then, Gloria let out a quiet sob.
"Gloria, it's okay, sweetheart. I gotcha, little angel. I'm not gonna let you go." Tess assured the distraught angel in her arms.
Tess then started to sing, knowing it would help Gloria calm down.
It took Gloria a good half an hour, but she was finally able to relax.
Tess smiled down at Gloria as she felt the tension leave the youngest angel's Human form.
"That's it, little angel. You're okay. I still have you."
Gloria mumbled something before snuggling into her superior's hold.
Monica grinned, despite the few tears that had made their way over her pretty Irish features.
Tess noticed her angel girl's mood and opened her free arm to her as well.
"Come here angel girl." Tess said, her voice full of motherly compassion.
Monica wasted no time in taking Tess up on her offer.
"I love you both so much." Tess told the Irish angel, hugging her close.
"I know you do. " Monica replied, calming down almost immediately. "I love you too. And I think for the first time, Gloria realizes it too."
Tess nodded as a smile of love crossed her wise features.
"Amen to that, angel girl. Amen to that."
As Tess sat there, both of her angel babies safely in her arms, she glanced up and into the slowly darkening sky.
"Thank you for blessing me with these two precious angel babies, Father. Thank you."
THE END