Disclaimer: No I don't own fullmetal, live with it. This is a T rated one-shot.
Roy looked down, seeing his military uniform, caressing his skin. The brown coat around his arms and back, not for heat but to hide himself in. To disguise the fact he was the state alchemist they hired to kill all these people. Once the red flames started from his spark, the world around him went up in flames.
He'd pretend this was all a dream most of the time. Letting his thoughts go numb as he tried to do as ordered. To try and rise in the ranks.
Only one person knew his dreams, the same person who cooled down the world around him.
Maes Hughes.
He'd have feelings for the man for quite some time but he never found himself able to tell him. Maes always talked about a girl who was waiting for him back in Central. Roy never got the chance to tell Maes how he wanted to just fuck him right in that tent. To lose himself in Maes to escape this hell.
Now he stood...looking down at the marked grave of his college. His friend...and the one he loved. It was too late now to do anything about it. But he couldn't stop blamming himself. He kept telling himself that it was because Roy and Maes were friends. But he couldn't stop thinking of the time he'd finally told Maes.
"Hey Roy, what you doing here so late? I mean I know you always slack off on paper work but every one left hours ago." Maes asked as he walked his way over to Roy's desk from the main door.
Roy ignored the man the best he could. He tried to focus on the paperwork but it was lost in his thoughts. Maes was leaning over the desk, so close to Roy that Roy almost looked up so he could kiss the man.
"C'mon Roy, why have you been ignoring me? Ever since I told you I proposed to Gracia you've been avoiding me." Roy kept his head down, but words continued to slip through his lips anyway.
"Because I love you Maes and I want you for myself. I don't want you to marry her, now if you please get the hell out of my office." Maes was taken aback at the words and Roy cursed inwardly that he'd said them aloud.
"Damn-it Roy your a fool. If you had told me this before I proposed I would have picked you. It's too late now, but I can give you one thing to prove that I cared for you that way. But I thought those feelings were wrong and that you'd hate me, so I never told you. I have a feeling you did the same, and now were stuck."
Maes lifted Roy's chin up and gave a light quick kiss on the lips. Only long enough to get a taste and Roy hated when Maes pulled away.
"I'm sorry Roy, but we can't. I'm going to get married, but I still love you. Remember that."
Maes left the office, taking the memory with it.
And now he here was, wallowing himself in his apartment. Trying to remember what he'd forgotten all those years ago. He'd never be able to do it, but he'd try even if it killed him. There was no one left for him here. So he painted the circle the best he could and let his fingers touch the edges, falling into the soft embrace of the alchemy. And he was gone. Riza burst through the door after hearing the sound of the alchemy, a familiar tone to her ears by now. All she saw was paint surrounding the main floor and a delicate array in the center.
Requested by Angibugg as part of a contest from one of my other fics. Hope you enjoy it and I hope it's the level of angst you wanted.
I had fun writing this, but it took a while to do the most of it. Sorry it's so short, but that's how I wanted to end it...kinda.