Disclaimer: Nope! Don't own harry potter at all!! Nada! Though... it would have been fun... -sighs-

A/n: Wow! It was an Almost new record on how fast i typed this chapter... Though sadly my internet went dead alll of a sudden so thats i'm updating now! Wow... 2 reviews!! That's the real reason i'm so slow -shifty eyes- Review!!

Chapter 2: Oh my lovely Pineapple!

As everyone knows Sirius ran away from Harry in Peek into the past screaming about the choc chip cookies and Remus went after him. He has not recovered from the loss of his cookie buddy.

So what is he going to do to get his mind off the cookies?

"Moony! I have finally found some other object to take my mind off the cookies!" Sirius cried smiling at Moony who was looking at the pineapple in his hand, "Meet my new darling Pineapple!"

"Pineapple… What sort of name is that?" Remus sighed turning back to the book he was reading, "But then again cookies had the name cookies…"

"Yes! I have finally got over those evil cookies all because of my lovely pineapple! Oh my lovely Pineapple you are so divine!" Sirius sighed looking at the pineapple lustfully while walking out of the common room muttering, "Yes you are, you cute little thing, yes you are!" Remus shut his book after he heard Sirius talking to the pineapple his mouth was hanging open in shock that his friend was falling in love with a PINEAPPLE! He immediately got up and went after Sirius, he had to find Sirius until 'that' happened or else… He shuddered at the thought.

When Remus was searching for Sirius in the third corridor and looked in an empty classroom… Sirius had just turned around a corner in the fifth corridor where… Lord Voldemoldy was hiding from moaning Myrtle yet again. "What are YOU doing in my hiding spot minion?" Lord Voldemoldy asked glaring at Sirius and the pineapple.

"No… What are YOU doing in MY Love spot?" Sirius cried glaring at lord Voldemoldy and muttering to 'pineapple' to glare at him too.

"I am the great lord Voldemort! So get out of my lair!" Lord Voldemoldy said trying to look as great as possible.
"Ha! Yeah right! This is pineapple and my Love lounge so get out!" Sirius yelled pouting.

"I'll kill that pineapple! Darn it for stealing my lair!" Lord Voldemoldy screeched snatching pineapple from Sirius's grasp.

"You dare kill my darling pineapple and I'll kill you myself!!" Sirius growled taking out a machine gun. But Voldemoldy had already stepped on the pineapple turning it into mush… It was too late. "You bastard I'll make sure you die a slow painful death you little bitch!" Sirius sobbed and pulled the trigger killing lord Voldemoldy….

And that's how Sirius Black accidentally killed a 9th Horcux and how nobody knew the horcux existed is still unknown till this day. Remus found Sirius crying in a corner in the library sobbing about how much he forced himself to love the pineapple and how he still loved his poor Choc chip cookies… While he was dragging Sirius back from the library he bumped into peter who very shiftily said he was out for a night stroll. They then met Lily and James in the common room muttering quietly to each other.

"Hey you two love birds by any chance do you have any spare choc chip cookies? Sirius needs them." Remus sighed dumping Sirius on a sofa, Sirius was sobbing quietly to himself, "A person that had a black cloak had killed his new love 'pineapple' he said the person was pretending to be Lord Voldemort" Remus rolled his eyes and sat down on a sofa next to Sirius, Peter went up to bed already. That got James and Lily's attention, "You mean he killed that person then?" James asked frowning and Lily looked at Sirius like he was crazy.

"Obviously he did, like that time he killed that mouse that stole his 'beloved cheese' with a machine gun that appeared out of nowhere '' Remus yawned, "Well I'm going to go to bed, night!" He went to bed leaving James and Lily to look after Sirius who was now sucking his thumb. They just looked at him, and Sirius looked back with his puppy eyes making them flinch. "I think I'll go get him the choc chip cookies…" Lily muttered disappearing for ten minutes, when she came back with a box of cookies Sirius held out his hand mumbling,

"I want a cookie" Lily rolled her eyes but handed Sirius the box anyway shaking her head in disbelief.

"Black… You have to tell me… About the person who killed your beloved pineapple," Lily whispered pretending to be pitiful, "I'm sorry we have to force you to tell us but this entire ordeal is too sad…"
Sirius nodded puppy eyeing still he nibbled one of the choc chip cookies, "Well the bastard! He killed my darling! He was saying he was the great lord Voldemort and everything… not so great anymore!" Sirius laughed a little James grinned and Lily cracked a smile.

"But wait… Doesn't that mean Sirius killed lord Voldemort?" Lily asked while Sirius mouth dropped open.

"You mean he WAS the real Voldemort?" Sirius asked in disbelief shaking his head and grabbed another cookie.

"Well… Yeah I think… I mean…Lily and I bumped into him a couple of days ago… He was running away from Moaning Myrtle," James said frowning, "If he WAS Lord Voldemoldy… He's dead then."

"Whoa! I can't believe I actually KILLED the really great dark lord who knows dark powers normal people don't know… Oh wait! I killed him with a machine gun" Sirius smiled, "I'm having sweet dreams tonight! Oh and about the pineapple… I never loved it, the cookies rule all!"

Lily, James and Sirius jumped up suddenly and cried "All hail the holy cookies!!" waking up the whole of Hogwarts with their cry.

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