*Everything here is Stephenie Meyer's, not mine.
CHAPTER 2
Every single day, I fight the urge to go back to Forks. But every day, I satisfy myself of the fact that my absence is helping Bella. Maybe she has let go by now. Maybe she has a boyfriend, or at least something that is heading in that direction. And subconsciously, maybe I want that for her, but in reality, the anger and rage that I feel toward anyone who is infatuated with Bella, or asks her on a date, can be compared to only the rage I would feel if someone was trying to kill her. Like James, for instance. Except this anger is egged on by jealousy.
And all I can think is, it should be me. Selfish, I tell myself. No, selfish would have been if I had stayed, and put my Bella in danger for my own selfish gain. Selfish gain, which, had I let it get out of hand, would have most likely gotten Bella killed.
I had been wandering the streets for hours now, aimlessly walking, slower than usual, going nowhere. When you were a broken vampire in Rio, where would you go? Lonely and desolate, I walk for hours, every night. These are times in which I wish I could sleep. Succumb to the ignorant bliss or unconscious for a few hours, at least, where I could dream, dream of Bella, dream that we were still together and content.
My phone rings, then. A shrill, annoying reminder of reality. I answer it slowly. After 3 rings, not right away, like usual. I looked at the caller ID. Rosalie. I wonder what she wants. I don't really care, nor do I want to talk to her right now, but I answer the phone anyway.
"Rose?"
"Edward- something's happened to Bella."
That snapped me out of my reverie. "WHAT? Is she okay- oh my god, what happened?"
My sister began talking so fast that no humans could even comprehend one syllable. She told me that Alice had seen Bella in La Push. She was on the edge of a cliff, and it was a straight drop until it intersected with the writhing ocean. Bella was standing, toes hanging off the edge, with an absentminded smile playing across her face.
And then, eyes closed, My Bella flung herself off the cliff. In a surprisingly graceful swan dive, she plummeted towards the dark water, screaming, not in fear, but exhilaration.
And she didn't resurface. Alice had watched for a while, and then her future disappeared. Bella was dead. Her body lying at the bottom of the water. Perhaps they would find her quickly, her car was near the cliff. They would have a funeral, and Charlie would be so sad. And it would be all my fault. I had driven my dear Bella to commit suicide. I, in the process of trying to help her have a more normal life, free from danger, I had basically killed her myself.
It felt like the world was crumbling around me. There was no floor, no walls, no one around me. I sank to the ground, but with my seemingly deteriorating mind, I had made a choice, and that choice calmed me.
I had really made the choice months ago. Bella was going to die sometime, and I had no plans to outlive her by very long. I remember, back when I was with her, watching Romeo and Juliet, and telling her that I would never live without her. I would go to the Volturi and provoke them into killing me, if they would not oblige when I asked them nicely. She had been horrified, but I want dead set on that. I had known that I would do that from the beginning. From the day I realized I had fallen in love.
"Edward- Edward? Say something, please." I had forgotten Rose was still on the phone.
"Goodbye Rose."
"No, Edward. listen to me, please. You don't-" she didn't even get to finish her sentence. I had ended the call, walked up to a trashcan, and thrown my phone into it. My world suddenly seemed very steady at that moment. I would see my Bella soon.
When we had both ceased to exist, she would be in heaven, and I would be god knows where, but maybe, if Carlisle was right, perhaps after all these years of refusing the blood of humans, and trying as hard as we could to be good, maybe I belong in heaven as well. In a silly gesture, I crossed my long fingers, because if I was going to die, and get into heaven- to be with Bella- I needed all the luck I could get. I chuckled a little internally. What voluntary imminent doom was doing to my mind, I wasn't really sure.
I called over a cab. There were almost none out, so I had to walk for ten minutes to find one. But it didn't really matter in the long run. What was ten minutes to a shattered man who had lost his reason for life, and was about to have her again, in his arms. Her sweet floral scent penetrating the air. What was ten minutes, when I had resisted this long.
Everything. I couldn't wait ten minutes, who was I kidding? I was so selfish, even though the object of my affections had just flung herself off a cliff. I had always been impatient.
I got in the car quickly, and spoke only two words.
"Rio Airport."
I would see my love soon.
Author's note- This chapter was not as edited as the first one, because I thought that I would do a chapter before I went away for a week and a half on vacation. If none if you like it, I'll redo it when I get back.
XOXO