Nessie has joined the teen population at last. This isn't finished, obviously, because we were just goofing off. That, and it was in an email chain on facebook, and our other friends were getting annoyed at us for filling up their inboxes. But I thought I'd post it anyways. We don't get much of Nessie anywhere else.

K-
You know Edward would totally sit on the fuzzy pink panda chair in Nessie's room room to make sure she doesn't die in her sleep

M-
Then she'd be like I'M NOT THREE ANYMORE!

K-
IT'S OUT OF LOVE, SWEETIE! DADDY LOVES YOU!

M-
DAD, CUT IT OUT! I'M NOT A BABY!

K-
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY, HONEY!
Oh an you know he has embarrassing nicknames for her too, like pookiebear or something.

M-
And if she forgot her lunch money one day, he'd show up wearing tee-shirts that say things like 'I Heart Nessie' or 'Worlds best Dad'.

K-
Hahaha and they'd have all her baby pictures on them! He probably even has a snuggie with her face on it too.
No, I can totally see Nessie being a rebellious teen when she grows up.

M-
And he'd be like BUT DARLING, I LOVE YO!!! GIVE ME A HUG! DADDY LOVES YOU!

K-
She'd be like NO DAD, I AM NOT YOUR 'BOOGER BUTT'! LEAVE ME ALONE! *slams the door and calls Violet* Hey gurlll heyyy! You wanna go out tonight?? LETS PARTAYYY!

M-
And he'd look at her and be like MUST YOU WEAR THOSE PROVOCATIVE CLOTHES!?!?!? I MUST INSIST THAT YOU CHANGE AT ONCE!

K-
NO, DAD! JACOB LOVES THESE CLOTHES! UGH! YOU'RE JUST SO NOT COOL WITH THE TRENDS! GET OUTTA MY GRIL!
And Edward would like make her wear baggy turtlenecks everyday.

M-
And layers of clothes and she'd be like I AM 17 YEARS OLD! I CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT!

K-
And then he would wrap her up in bubble wrap. THE WORLD ISN'T SAFE, SUGARPLUM! THERE ARE PERVERTS WAITING TO VICTIMIZE INNOCENT GIRLS LIKE YOU!

M-
Then she'd be like F*** OFF DAD! I'M LEAVING!

K-
OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!! YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY! IF YOU TAKE ANOTHER STEP OUT THAT DOOR YOU ARE SO GROUNDED! SUCH LANGUAGE! NO RESPECT! NONE!

M-
~leaves with Jacob~
GOODBYE FATHER! YOU EFFING **** ~has spent too much time with Emmett~

K-
RENESME CARLIE CULLEN! YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH THAT DOG!
JACOB, SHE CANNOT GO OUT TONIGHT! OR ANY OTHER NIGHT THIS WEEK! THIS IS FINAL! SUCH DISRESPECT!

M-
~has already left~

K-
~is ranting to Bella~ AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAID NEXT! MY EARS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!
WHERE DID I GO WRONG? I AM A HORRIBLE FATHER! A MONSTER!!!
SHE USED TO BE A SWEET LITTLE GIRL, BELLA! THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLANATION! I HAVE TAINTED HER WITH THE MONSTER WITHIN!
SHE HATES ME! THOUGH I CANNOT BLAME HER FOR HATING A MONSTER!

M-
And then she'd come home like hours later and go directly to her room and talk to Jacob for hours.

K-
And Edward would totally kick him out. Literally.
YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS HERE! THIS YOUNG LADY HAS VIOLATED HER 6:30 pm CURFEW! SHE IS GROUNDED! INDEFINITELY!

M-
Then she'd like push him out the door and lock it.

K-
And then Edward would just climb in through the window and try to hug her
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!!!

M-
and then she'd be like DAD YOU RUINED THE MOMENT! GET OUT!

K-
NO! I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU LOVE ME AGAIN! WHY MUST YOU BREAK MY HEART SO, NESSIE-POO?
IS IT BECAUSE I AM A MONSTER?
I WILL TRY HARDER, SWEETIE! DADDY LOVES YOU!

M-
Then she'd leave with Jacob again.

K-
NOOOOOO!!! COME BACK!!! I CAN'T LOSE MY ONLY CHILD! I LOVE YOU!!!
~has a breakdown in the middle of her girlishly pink room that he and Alice obviously decorated for her~
NESSIE!!! NESSSSSIEEEEEE!!!!
WHY???? I LOVE YOU!!! COME BACK! COME BACKKKKKK!!!!!!!

M-
Then she wouldn't turn up for days...

K-
He would like curl up into the fetal position the whole time she was gone, too. Rocking back and forth and sucking his thumb. And mumbling.
'It's all my fault. My fault! All my fault!'
And Emmett would like beat him up.

M-
You so know he would!!!
BE A MAN, EDWARD! MAN UP!

K-
And Edward would be too far gone to care.
And you know Esme would be flipping out over the whole thing too.
EDWARD! IT'S ONLY A PHASE! SAY SOMETHING, SWEETIE!
(EDWARD:) my... fault....