I do not own D. Gray- Man!
Chapter 38:
I opened my eyes at the knocking on the door.
"Hannah?" Lavi's voice came from the other side. "Lenalee said you were looking for me." I got up, unlocked the door and opened it. Lavi gasped when he saw me. "You look like a mess." He looked me up and down. " A hot mess." He looked at my face closely. "What happened, Hannah?"
"What do you mean?" My voice, hoarse from crying myself to sleep, didn't seem to want to sound nonchalant.
"What happened between you and Kanda?" I blinked at him, surprised. "Come on, Kanda nearly cut my head off when he saw me. Well, he was trying to cut anyone's head off if they were dumb enough to stand in the corridor he chose to walk down. Then, when I'd finally ran to someone he wouldn't try to hurt, meaning Lenalee, the moment she said that you wanted to see me he tried to cut my head off again." He lifted my face so he could see my eyes. "What's going on?"
"Come on in." I whispered, then turned and sat on the bed. I heard him close the door and he sat next to me. I breathed deeply a few times and he waited patiently. "I fought with Kanda."
"About what?"
"I'm not even sure myself." I started crying again and he hugged me.
"Tell me what happened." So I told him how I'd gone out of the infirmary and thought maybe to invite Kanda to lunch so we could talk. I told him how I felt about knowing nothing about him. How Japan made me realize that he knew me and I didn't know him, so I wanted to talk with him. How I over heard his conversation with Lenalee. How I felt jealous, yes, jealous, of Lenalee because Kanda said she was strong. How I understood that he treated me the way he did because I wasn't- he never treated Lenalee like that, after all. I explained how when he came out of his room he yelled at me for wanting to talk to Lavi, how overly protective he was of me, how it hurt that he was like that- that he thought I couldn't protect myself. How I told Kanda he was my best friend and I wasn't his, how it hurt to know that it was true.
Lavi just patted my back and listened the entire time, saying nothing, just letting me cry. When I calmed down a bit more he leaned into my ear.
"Hannah, why does that bother you so much?" I leaned back and looked at him surprised.
"Because he's my best friend and I'm not his."
"Don't you think you mean more to each other than just best friends?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look," He sighed and scratched his head. "I don't know what to say. All I'm saying is that there's a reason he's listened to you all these years and why he's so protective over you." I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off. "It's not because he thinks you're weak. You're one of the few people who can take him on in a fight. He'd never think you're weak. He does think you're too stubborn." He got up and pulled me up too. "Let's go get something to eat. You just think why Kanda would act the way he does. Think about him like you always have, you're surprisingly observant."
"I don't get it." I said, objecting. "I just told you-"
"And I'm telling you, you're wrong." He opened the door and led me out. "If you were right Kanda wouldn't be trying to kill everyone in sight, he wouldn't care what you were wearing and he wouldn't hate Reever."
"He hates Reever?" I asked surprised. Lavi jumped and looked guilty, he probably wasn't supposed to have said that. "Why? See, why didn't he tell me that?"
"Because he knows you love him."
"I don't love him." I said automatically. This made Lavi turn to me surprised. I was surprised by my reaction too. "I don't know why I said that."
"Maybe you should think about that too." Lavi smirked and we continued on our way to the dining room.