What would we ask our beloved Mike if we could?
So me and M were talking, and our conversation (naturally) turned to Mike. We began to realize how little we actually knew about the man who provides me with daily transportation every weekday morning. This brought up the great question: what WOULD we ask Mike if we were given the chance?
M-
why was he mad at you now?
K-
I didn't sit down quick enough he's like NO STANDING ON MY BUS! SIT DOWN, YOUNG LADY!
I was so tempted to say something you have no idea someday I will have a conversation with that man I will learn of his life struggles and his siblings and I will know his birthday so that on that day i can send him a snuggie it'll be like a poop colored snuggie too and he'll like love it WHY, I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A COLOR! I DO SAY, IT COMPLIMENTS MY NATURAL HAIR COLOR VERY WELL!
i want to like interview him and film it i wish we had a class we could do that for so we had a legitimate excuse "have you ALWAYS wanted to be a bus driver'
'what is the most rewarding part of chauffeuring cranky teenagers every day'
'how do you handle the stressful aspects of dealing with said teenagers'
really? that is somewhat distressing. tell me mike, do you have a conscience? Or was that not in the job description?'
M-
in your opinion, how do you think the miserable attitude you portray gets the kids attention?
Do you yell a lot?
K-
'what is your opposition to "twist and shout"'?
M-
Do you have any family? You do? Oh, I sypathzise for them.
Did you have a terrible experience when you were a little boy that now you are emotionally scarred for life because of the "twist and shout?" Oh? You ripped your pants when you were doing that? When was this? 1859?
K-
"did you twist and shout when you were beaten up for your lunch money mike? It's okay to cry, mike. these things take time to heal.'
M-
Why are you crying right now? Is this story correct? Did kids pick on you? Oh? Monkies did too? Hmm.. Even your parents?? They called you what now!? A butt ugly monkey boy?
K-
"tell us more about your parents. did they dress you up like a girl when you were little? Were they really so unaccepting of you"
"why, yes, I do agree. That IS unacceptabe"
M-
Why WERE they so unaccpetable though? Oh, your dad wanted you to be a quarterback and your mom wanted you to have a girlfriend? But you dressed in leotards instead and pranced around like some love struck 14 year old girl?
K-
Oh, I see. tell me, how did your siblings react to your, shall we say, quirks?
M-
They called you nasty names? What kind of names? OH, DEAR ME!! They called you a monkey buttwiping pansy? Oh, such hurtful things to say. So hurtful.
K-
do you think these experiences have made you a stronger person in life?
M-
They permanently put that frowning face on you and made you so stressed out you turned balled? Oh, so it's all your family's fault? Oh, I'm sorry I didn't hear that, what? Oh and the damn kids? Well, you chose to be a bus driver, Mike. What? It was either be a bus driver or be a hobo? Well, that is kind of late to be not taken as a hobo.