I do not own D. Gray- Man!

Chapter 39:

"You're up early." The head nurse looked up at me surprised. "Those clothes are quite revealing too." She added in distaste.

"I can't sleep anymore and if there's a problem with the clothes, take it up with General Cloud. I'll be back by eight." I stepped out of the infirmary. I felt bad for being so short with her, she really didn't deserve it. She had a reason to worry. The shorts and the revealing blue shirt were inviting, and since there weren't many women in the Order, the men could get the wrong ideas. I really didn't understand why General Cloud dressed like this.

I started walking to the training grounds, not so that I could train- with a broken leg and arm, the head nurse would tie me to the bed if I tried.

I needed to find Kanda. I needed to talk to him. One on one- face to face. I knew he'd be in the training grounds.

I'd thought a lot about what Lavi said. I still couldn't see how I was wrong. Everything that Kanda had done pointed to condescending over-protection. I remembered the hug and 'Sayonara' as I left Denmark. That was the only thing that didn't fit. I told Lavi, he just smiled and told me to talk to Kanda. So that's what I was doing.

At least Lavi had some good ideas.

I'd also thought a lot about Reever and realized that I meant it when I said that I didn't love him. I still thought he was cute and smart and handsome and brave and hot- not like Kanda, heaven knows no one can be- there! I did it again! Why was it that whenever I would think of Reever my mind would go to how he wasn't like Kanda?! It was insane!

So, I didn't love Reever- I looked up to him and had a crush on him. I liked the guy. He was nice! Kanda wasn't nice! Kanda had never been nice.

Here I go again! Obviously I need to talk to Kanda, it's bothering me way too much.

"Hey babe, where you going?" I turned to see someone who looked like they were from the Asian branch.

"Training grounds. My mentor said it was a healthy way of letting my anger out. That way he doesn't have to pay for new walls." The guy stepped back and I continued on my way down the corridor.

Guys could be such jerks. Kanda would have sliced his head off if he'd have been- Oh my God! I have to talk to that stupid idiot just so that I could get him out of my mind and get things back to normal! How did I even get like this?! Crying and being weak like this?! It was driving me insane!

Kanda was driving me insane! The fight with him had bothered me so much that I'd even dreamt about him! That's why I'd woken up so early! And now, not only was he in my dreams, he was invading my every day thoughts! I had to talk to him! I had to get the problems with him solved so that things could go back to the way they were!

I burst through the doors of the training room with more force that what I had intended. Marie and Kanda turned to face their brash intruder.

"Hey Marie, nice to see you! How are you doing?"

"I am well. It is good to know you are lively as ever." He smiled, placing the cushions he'd been holding up for Kanda down. "What brings you here? Not training I hope, you still have a few broken bones, no?" I frowned.

"No, not training. I wish it was training." I sniffed and looked at the cushions. It would be fun to punch and kick those things for hours on end. It felt like years since I'd done it last, though I knew it had only been three months.

"Are you here simply to watch?" Marie asked, I didn't know what to answer. I knew I came in for a reason, but I could remember why. I kept staring at the cushions, maybe they'd give me the answer.

"Do you mind?" I asked Marie sitting down on the steps, placing my crutch next to me.

Marie picked the cushions back up and Kanda started punching them again. Kanda was wearing a tight sleeveless turtleneck, sweat bands on his arms, sweatpants that went down to his calves, a cloth belt and shoes. It all looked so comfortable and soft.

I could see him wearing that, standing under the wooden archway when we arrived in Japan. Only this time, instead of asking why we were late, he simply turned around and walked up the stairs. I heard someone calling my name, but I wasn't paying attention. The wind was blowing pink petals on the receding back of the Japanese exorcist.

"Hannah!" Marie shouted and I snapped back to reality, he and Kanda were staring at me again. Only, Marie looked worried this time. "Are you sure you should be up? Your heart was beating far too fast for someone who is just sitting down. It sounded like you were in pain." Curse Marie and his uncanny hearing.

"I'm fine." I answered, my mouth dry. I remembered why I came. "Marie, do you mind cutting the training short? I really need to talk to Kanda."

"Not a problem." Marie placed the cushions down and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. Kanda remained where he was and just stared at me impatiently. He was mad. I flinched under his gaze.

"I'm sorry." I said looking at the ground at his feet. "I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday, I'm sorry for crying and I'm sorry for wearing clothes like this… yesterday and today. I never realized how oblivious I am to things, and I'm sorry if I hurt you. It wasn't my intention." By now I chanced a look at him, he was calm so I continued. "About yesterday," He looked a little uncomfortable, but said nothing. I really didn't know what to say myself. This had never happened to me before. "what I said," I searched for the words. "I should probably explain wh-"

"Enemy attack alert!" Komui's voice came through the golem, cutting me off. Both our heads snapped to it. "To all exorcists and members stationed at headquarters! Akuma have invaded the fifth laboratory! Two exorcists are currently at the scene and engaging the enemy! Generals and other exorcists should proceed urgently to the third gate of the ark! Noise Marie! Miranda Lotto! Proceed urgently to the third gate! All finders are to standby according to the supervisors orders!"

I got up quickly and lost my balance due to the broken leg. Kanda caught me and helped me get my balance back.

"You're not going." He stated, moving to the door. I grabbed my crutch and walked with him in perfect step, crutch held in my arm. "Hannah your leg is broken and so is your arm!" I pulled the sling off and was feeling the white hot pain in my leg. "What do you intend to do?! Kill yourself?!"

"And you don't have your innocence!" I shot back at him. "What do you intend to do? Kill yourself?"

"Hannah, it's too dangerous for you!"

"And it's not too dangerous for you?! And don't tell me you're okay because you heal fast, 'cause that's a lie and you know it!" By now we'd both stopped and were facing each other. I poked a finger in his chest. "Your tattoo is getting bigger and bigger! Do you plan on wasting all your life?! What about that person you're looking for?!"

"Don't bring that subject up unless you want me to bring Reever up!" He snarled at me, smacking my finger away from his chest and glaring down at me.

"I was going to tell you that I don't love Reever after I explained the rest of what I said yesterday! But fine! If you want it now, you can get it now! I don't love Reever!" I yelled at him. "It was a crush! He's a nice guy, but I don't love him! And you can blame yourself for that because it's you I think about suddenly when I'm thinking about Reever! Out of nowhere comes the thought of how he's not like you! And it happens every single time! Are you happy now?!" The ground shook, it almost felt like the ark again. "Let's go!"