A/N: Ahhh, only one review. :( that makes me sad. Oh well, I'll just keep posting the chapters, it's getting a lot of hits, but no reviews. It makes me really really sad. If you're reading the story and even if you don't like where it's going so far, then please please just tell me, flame me, I don't care! Anyway...onto the story.
Chapter 3: When It's Quiet
Dear Apathy,
How do you tend to give me nothing when I desperately need you? Why won't you take away my pain and emotions, I don't need them, I swear I don't need this constant torment on my heart, would you please please take it away?
It was cold. Freezing even. It was terribly miserable as I sat down by the bank of the frozen river to reminisce on the times I used to love. The white ground felt soft as fleece when my hands touched it gently.
I pulled my knees up to my chest in some feeble attempt to keep warm. Memories of my dad and I came back and I thought of how we used to play in the snow. The colors around me faded at teh remembrace of my father and I felt my fists clench quickly. I was cold and angry, which wasn't a good situation. With a rushed push, I was off the ground. I walked toward the river and soon found myself on the icy texture. I looked down at the unmoving water with my face paled.
"Why did you leave me?" I whispered softly. I collapsed on the ice as I felt my face turn to ice as I shivered. "Why? Did you have to leave?"
I felt my tears fall off my face, but I wanted so badly to not cry. I tried not to allow it, but everything inside of me screamed for me to. I was so caught up in the crying and overwhelming emotions, I didn't care to notice my body temperature slowly drop. My dark hair looked almost blue against the ice.
I heard a cracking noice below me and couldn't make out where it had come from. I noticed a small crack in the ice by my face, but I didn't think anything of it. The cracking grew louder and my body slightly shook when the the noise hurt my ears. The block of ice I was on broke off and took a dip in teh water. I was soon soaking wet in my winter clothes and to top it off, I wasn't the best of swimmers.
So, I did the most logical thing for being surrounded by a huge block of ice, I screamed. My voice probably carried a little farther than the forests I swore I would never visit. My hands grapsed onto the burning cold ice and I screamed out once again.
Tears welled up in my eyes and it didn't matter if I cried or not, no one would be able to tell. I felt as if there was nothing left for me to try to live anymore. It didn't matter if I lived or not. My body stopped giving in to the struggle of survival and my hands slipped off the ice. I felt my mind begin to lose consciousness and just before my eyes shut I saw a pair of blue eyes - the eyes of him. Of the betrayer.
-
My mind began to wake and my eyes refused to open. I felt like I was ina caccoon and my body was shaking feverishly. Slowly, my eyes opened to a dim light that didn't strain my eyes too much. I tried to recollect what had happened before I had fallen asleep. As soon as realization after another hit me, I rapidly glanced around the room. It was unfamiliar to my vision and I jumped to my feet. The door opened just as I composed myself and my figure went rigid.
"You're awake." He barely whispered. It was a boy in his late teens, he looked like he was nice, and his hair was a soft color. But what I focused on was his eyes. They were piercing blue and I couldn't bare to look at him for too long.
"Go away creep." I said crossing my arms. I approached him cautiously and made a feeble attempt to get past him, but he merely grasped my arms and gave me a confused expression.
"The last time that I checked, I only saved your life. You know, I could have just let you go completely under the water and drown when the water filled your lungs to capacity." he stated matter of factly. With his arms parallel to mine he took a hold of my hand. "You're still cold. If you would let me, I would be glad to get you some soup or a warm beverage."
"It's okay, really. I can do just fine on my own. I'm sure that my mother is..." I trailed off my sentece. I couldn't think of anything to say. My mother had honestly never worried about where I was so I could not lie to him.
"Yes?"
"Nevermind. It has no importance anyway."
He nodded curtly and his eyes wavered down to my hands. He still had a strong hold on them.
"I'm sorry about that. I never really saved someone and I just want to do everything in my power to accomodate your needs." he gently let my fingers go at first before completely releasing my hand. "Now, if you don't mind, I will be getting you some soup."
He left the door in a rash manner. I rubbed my hands together for some warmth. I soon decided that he was right, as much as I hated to admit it. So, I got under one of the several blankets that was sprawled on the floor and tried to warm myself up. My skin was a pale purple and I could feel it within every bone of my skin.
Had the water been that cold? Had my fingers been so numb I didn't even feel it? These thoughts flooded my mind as I found msyelf drifting off into a daydream of sorts. I was brought back to reality witha gentle tap on the shoulders from my caretaker. He didn't seem all to bad once I thought about it.
"Here you go young lady, your soup. There is also warm apple cider in the other cup if you are thirsty." he said with a smile. It seemed somewhat cocky to me, like he had a sense of pride behind being some knight in shining armor by saving me when I could have easily saved myself.
"Thank you caretaker." I said in a kind tone. I didn't look up at him once the entire time. The soup filled me with warmth all throughout my body and the hot cider had a hint of cinammon in it that gave it a great flavor.
With a sigh of satisfaction, I placed the cups down on the wood floor. He seemed pleased that I enjoyed it and he eagerly left the room with the cups in his hands. I could have easily put the cups up myself, but he seemed more willing to.
I waited patently for him to return, but it never happened. It was as if I had just made him up in my mind. I felt a quick pain tugging at my heart when the memory of my father promising to meet me for a game of play never coccured.
My breathing strained as I forced everything within myself not to cry. I tried not to think of my father, and very few things could set me off. This caretaker of mine was not helping with my emotions at all. I inhaled slowly to keep myself composed and released my breath. Everything was not going too swell that day.
He burst in the door. I could see apologies written all over his features, even his body language was telling me sorry over and over. He pulled off a jacket and sat down by my side with a morose face. When I looked closer though, I could see a bruise beginning to form under his left eye. It was the first time I didn't judge him by what color his eyes were, and I felt the slightest bit warmer.
"What happened there just below your eye?" I asked in a light tone. I knew that something must have happened for him to be gone for such a long time, but I was uncertain what it could have been. His eyes faltered from mine momentarily until he gathered his words.
"I was cutting wood for our fireplace earlier - my father asked me - and a few of the logs hit me in the eye because of where I carelessly placed them." he glanced away in some odd way to end the conversation and quickly changed the subject. "I'm really sorry I just left you here alone, that was never my intention...do you believe me?"
"Yes, I do."
We both sat quietly and let a moment pass. I shifted soundlessly under the warmth of the blanket as I watched his body shiver from being cold in the room. I wondered why he had taken off his jacket, but I did not have the decency to ask. My mind began to contemplate pushing myself off the floor and telling this caretaker how grateful I was for him saving me.
"Where do you live?" he inquired.
"Just before the entrance of the forest."
"That's not too far."
"Why do you say that?"
"We're in the forest."
My eyes panicked. I looked at him in disbelief and stumbled to my feet. I gathered anything that was mine and made a quick dash for the door. I couldn't be in the forest, that was the only place in this country side I refused to venture off to ever since the incident three years ago.
"Wait," He grasped my hand. "What happened? Did I say something to upset you?"
"It's nothing." I said, trying to convince myself more than him. "I just remembered that there is this event in the city that I must attend. I hope you don't mind if I leave right now."
"Not at all, but please allow me to assist you young lady." he said. "The last encounter I had with a girl in these woods was rather hostile." I shrugged my shoulders in response. I did not care at this point if he came along or not, I just wanted to be out of the forest as fast as I could.
He lead me out of the house in a quiet yet polite manner. I purposely looked around to see if his parents were somewhere, but I saw no one in the home except for him the entire time. I was mildly curious if he made up the story about the bruise to avoid telling me the truth about other things, but I did not press any questions.
"So, do you come to this forest often?" he asked polietly. He pushed a tree branch out of the way and allowed me to pass before he did. I courteously accepted the chivilrous act and walked a short distance ahead until I was able to answer his question.
"Acutally, I haven't been here in quite some time." I said telling half of the truth, I felt as though my caretaker wasn't worthy to know the entire truth of why I loathed the forest. "The last time I was here some prude boy thought he could use me, but he didn't."
"Really? What bad manners." he said. He lead me straight out of my nighmares and into a world where the sun was bright and melting the beautiful snow. I could see my home in the distance and I sighed with relief. It was the first time in my life I had ever been so overjoyed to see my home and be on my way to sleep in my own bed.
"Thank you so much." I said with a smile. He smiled back again with a small smirk like last time.
"You should come by sometime, you know, if ever you feel lonely this winter." he said with his tone rather low. I felt myself falter from his presense and I watched the sun glow on the color of his hair that looked lavender.
"Yeah, I should." I said aloud. In my head I thought of about fifty different things that were better to do that even thinking about the forest. I turned myself away from him and I felt the wind hit my feet.
"I'll see you around then?" he asked.
"Yeah, see you." I said and started walking away. The truth was, I doubted if I would see my caretaker again. I did not plan to fall in any frozen lakes in the near future and the forest was out of the question.
So, I skipped down the hill in relief of seeing my comfortable world.
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Expect the next chapter up in about...three or four days.