Probably, like, the second to last chapter here. Having fun with it. We had hell deciding how to work this chapter, but I think it's going to turn out well.

I show up to Trig early to go over my notes again and the usual "Be a Good Test Taker" bullshit. Truthfully, it's an excuse to get the hell out of my dorm. I don't even know why I went back. … Fuck, yes, I do. I'm… Shit… I think I want Zack Fair in the way he wants me.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

"Probably not a good thing to lose that many brain cells before a test, yo." I look up from banging my head against the desk and- bow chicka bow wow- there's Reno, looking down at me like a bug. Oh shit, Zack implied that he and Reno dated. Shit.

"Fuck off."

"Whatever, man." Weiss starts the class with a sneer, a reminder not to cheat or he'll personally chase us around the parking lot in his car, and tossing the tests around. I get mine and look down. Uhm… What? Raise my hand.

"What is it, Strife?"

"My test… This can't be right."

Weiss looks it over. "No, this is your test."

"But… Sir, it looks like it's in Greek."

"Greek letters are frequent parameters in mathematics. Do I need to send you back to Statistics?"

Frig no. Hojo is a scary psycho. "No, sir. But… There aren't even any numbers given on this test."

"Reno," Weiss summons up aforementioned redhead from his seat three rows ahead. "Is this the same test you've been given?"

Reno looks over my worksheet and looks at Weiss, clearly about to say, "WTF, this isn't Trig!" when Weiss gives him this Look. It's not a nice, lusty Look like anyone would kill for from someone other than Weiss. No, this is a malice-filled, evil, "I will kill everyone you ever loved" Look.

And, of course, Reno fucking caves.

"Yeah, this is the same thing I'm looking at. Quit your bitching, yo." Weiss smirks and Reno goes back to his seat.

Note to self: Get more friends in this class.

So, after that fucking disaster (I just wrote "4" on everything), I decide that I have earned something. Normally, I would get "You've Had A Sucky Day" sex from Tifa. Yeah, not happening now. Fuck. I'm not going back to my dorm because I'll probably get "You've Had A Sucky Day" sex from Zack.

And that's how I found myself in Vincent Valentine's kitchen, passing a wine bottle around the table with him and Reeve. It is to be noted that I am a lightweight, Vincent is a veteran emo, therefore very good at holding his liquor, and Reeve is in his late thirties.

"So, he hands me the test and it's in fuckin'… I dunno… Spanish or something… Point is I had no idea what was going on. Then that fucking… Cocker-Spaniel Reno says that the test was perfect and I was bitching." I take another pull from the bottle and pass it to Reeve. "Was so not bitching."

"Sounds like you had a rough day."

"'Course I had a rough day. Doesn't help that, like, you know, I'm madly in love with my dorm-mate or whatever."

Vincent's eyebrow disappears under his headband and bangs. "You're in love with a dude? Kinda hot…"

"I donneven know anymore." My head develops a pulse and push my forehead down into my palm. "My head huuuurrrts…"

I lose track of everything that happened after that, except that Cid came downstairs. Then I heard things around me, in and out, like an old radio.

"Jesus, he looks dead. Get 'im in the car."

"Found 'im in Valentine's kitchen like this. Take care of 'im."

"Oh, yeah, absolutely."

"Want you, Zack."

"W…What? What?"

"This gonna hurt?"

"I'll… Uh… Yeah, probably. Want it gentle?"

"I'm fuckin' drunk. It'll only hurt in the morning."

"Zack, I think I love you."

"You're drunk, go to bed."

"Really, I do."

"… Yeah, I love you too. Sleep, okay?"

Then light hits my eyes and sends shockwaves of pain through my eyes. And my ass hurts. Did I fall or something last night? Makes sense, falling on my ass while I'm drunk. Screw it, I just want to sleep. Nice warm bed.

"Mmmhnnn…"

I sit straight up and the sheets fall off my bare chest… onto my bare lap. Uhm… Zack's in bed with me… I'm naked. Frig… No, fuck is a much better expletive for this moment. No, fuck does not do this moment justice. I think I had sex with Zack Fair last night.

Confirmed when I look over and, bam, there he is, completely naked. Beautiful skin, porcealine only prettier. Fuck, no, stop being queer.

"Zack… Get up!"

"Mmnnnmmm…"

Fuck! I get my back to the wall and push him off the bed with my feet. Not a smart idea to place pressure on my ass. Feels like a fucking flagpole got shoved in there. Repeatedly, as it were. Oh, god, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Zack's near-lifeless body flops off the bed, taking about half the blankets and comforter with him. Gives me a glance at the sheets. "Oh, my God… Blood… Was there a fucking sacrifice here?!?"

"Morning…"

"Don't 'morning' me, you fucking rapist!! What the hell?!?"

"Cloud-"

"No! I came back here, I fucking trusted you, and th-"

"Cloud, listen to me, you asked me!"

"I… I what now?"

Zack sighs, holding the sheets over his guy bits. Like they weren't just in my ass probably less than 5 hours ago. "Some blond guy named Cid came over, holding you up. You looked like you were asleep or something. I tried to get you to sleep in your bed, but you said no. Then… Uh… You asked me to... Ya know… And… I… Well, I did it."

"No kidding, you fucking did it! Do you have any idea how much pain I'm in right now!?"

"Yeah, actually. Uh…"

"I don't wanna hear it… Did you at least use a condom?"

"Of course." He looks offended. "You were the drunk one, not me. I've got some common courtesy." Common courtesy?! That's fucking rich, coming from the guy who just fucked me in the ass.

"… What else did Cid say to you?"

"Lots of things. Can I get on my bed now?"

"Fuck you. What did Cid say to you?"

"He said, and I'm paraphrasing, that you got drunk at Valentine's (I'm guessing that's a bar), and to take care of you. He also said something about you being a lightweight, puking in his car, singing Freebird out the window." Good. My secret is safe. "Oh, and he said that you masturbated while thinking about me the other day."

I choke. "Fuck…"

"So, he wasn't lying."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "No. He wasn't. I… Fuck…"

"Just say it."

"IloveyouZackFair."

"Slower?"

"I… Love… You… Zack Fair."

"Good." And then Zack touches his lips to mine. Oh God, he's got morning breath like a fucking dog! Then again, I've got cotton-mouth, so what the fuck ever. He crawls back up on the bed. "Do you… want to do it again?"

"Fucking animal, I'm in pain."

Zack smiles sheepishly. "Sorry. My bad… Do… Did you want to top then?"

"Are you serious?"

"It's just like anal with a girl, or so I'm told."

"I'd rather not."

He looks thoughtful. "I still feel like we should, ya know… Uh… What's the phrase?"

"Consummate the union? Are we even dating?"

"Are we?"

I make a mental list.

Relationship with Zack Fair pros: He's not an asshole. He's kind of sweet, in the puppy way. He's not flamboyantly gay, like Reno. His uncles will kill me if I don't.

Relationship with Zack Fair cons: He's gay.

Deciding factor: I'm in love with him.

"Can I think about it? When I don't need ibuprofen?"

"Uh… Yeah, absolutely. I'll, uhm… I'll go get you some. Just lie down… Try not to put any pressure on… it."

Then he rushes out of the room.

My phone rings after Zack goes to his first class. "Hello?"

"Cloud?"

"What Tifa?"

"Vincent told me you got drunk at his place last night. You alright?"

"Yes… Kinda… I had… Fuck, I'm not saying this."

"Who did you have sex with?"

Fucking women's intuition. "My dorm mate. The one you said was gay for me. Yeah…" Have you ever heard a woman squeal? How about a woman who clearly likes the idea of men kissing? Yeah, I rest my fucking case. "…Ah…"

"How was it?"

"Uh, gee, felt like roses and sunshine dust. It hurts!"

"Oh… Well, it could be worse… I mean, you could have remembered the whole thing. Knowing you, it's just bits and pieces, right?"

"Yeah… Tifa, I think I love him."

"Does that make me your fag-hag?"

Whatever that is. "Tifa, I don't fall in love with men."

"And I didn't fall in love with blonds, but look at where you've been since high school. You're thinking with your head. Next time you see him, think about what your heart and body are telling you. You'll be better off."

"That's, like, the shittiest piece of advice I've ever gotten. Worse than when Cid advised me to jump off the roof of the science building in high school."

"You did that, though."

"That's how I know it's shitty advice."

Tifa is fucking crazy, let that be known. But she's not stupid, so I take her advice and wait.

Zack comes back into the room around 2-ish, and my spine feels like it's just melded back together. "Can we talk?"

"Uh… Sure…" He sits down. "Feeling better?"

"Much better." Fuck, how do you start an "I love you sooooo much" conversation? Jump in? Waltz around the subject? Oh, what the hell am I doing? I'm a man!! "I think I'm in love with you."

"I think you've already said that, kinda."

"But I'm not in pain and I'm sober. I think I actually mean it now."

He does two contradicting things. His eyes light up like freaking Christmas and he smiles. But then his face kinda drops and he looks kind of… Oh, God, does he look horny for God's sake? Fucking psycho… "So, uh… What do you want to do? I mean, like, God, I love you too, I have since we met, but…"

"Uhm…" I don't know what to do either. I mean, when I said I loved Tifa, she just tackled me into the mattress… Oh dear God, what if this is how girls feel after sex!?! Oh my God, I am apologizing later for every time I've wanted it more than once in a night.

"You're… Ah…" Zack is looking at his blood-stained sheets. "Probably not up for round two yet."

"Not even fucking close."

"Well, uh… I could just… Ya know…"

"Masturbation isn't exactly union consummating."

"Wasn't talking about that. Good thoughts, though." Zack flips me a grin and I scowl back. "We could just do it and you be on top."

I almost scream. "Are you serious!? I don't even know how that works!"

"I'll walk you through it." He's kidding. He's gotta be kidding. "I'm kidding. You're in pain. It wouldn't be right."

"O-Okay…"

"But," he says and I freeze up. Ho shit… "I wanna be close to you tonight. Maybe we could… Sleep in the same bed, but… ya know?"

"Y-Yeah… Actually, that would be best. I… I can't sleep without you anymore." I blush at that statement. Soooo gggggaaaayyyyy…

Zack smiles.

That night, before I drop off, I feel Zack's arm snake around my waist and, for the first night in forever, I don't freak out about him feeling me up.