Thanks to the reviewers! You guys rock. I'm not very confident about this chapter but I hope you all like it.
Disclaimer: Characters and stuff belong to J.K. Rowling.
Chapter 3
When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade
Severus and Lily rocked back and forth on a swinging chair, placed in the cool shade of Lilly's back porch. Severus had a large, moldy book open in his lap, enthusiastically explaining some of the pictures to Lily with a gleam in his eye.
"And these are the dementors you always ask about. They can make people, even really happy people, feel despair. They just suck the happiness right out of the air you breathe. The worst thing is when they kiss you."
"Ack! I can see why," Lily grimaced as she looked at the floating, scaly-handed monsters.
Summer, for all its lazy meandering, was finally coming to a close. The first day of primary school was fast approaching, but it did not bother Severus so much as it usually did. He and Lily had been joined at the hip for the better part of the summer. That stupid Muggle school was now a distant worry. His darker thoughts told him she was his friend merely out of necessity, once she knew enough about the wizarding world, she would detach herself from him. But a kind world from her lips and a smile assuaged his worst fears.
"They just call it that," Severus explained, "When a dementor kisses you, it is actually sucking out your soul. Then you're just a body. You're alive, but…"
Lily shuddered, "But isn't there any way to, you know, get away or to stop them?"
"There is. You just have to think of the happiest thing that has ever happened to you, then your wand makes a patronus—it's sort of like your happiest memory comes out of your wand to protect you," Severus watched as Lily closed her eyes and smiled. No doubt she was thinking of her happiest memory. He wondered what it was. Watching her rosy cheeks and perfect smile, he had no uncertainty of his.
"Lemonade, kids?"
Severus quickly shut the book and looked up at Mrs. Evans. She was a blonde, prim woman who looked as though she had never heard the words "women's liberation." She was carrying two tall glasses of lemonade, which were perspiring water in the summer heat. The lemon wedges were still on the glasses and both had the most precious little pink umbrellas resting against the side.
"Thanks, Mom!" said Lily, accepting her glass. Severus merely snatched his and began gulping it like a man who had been lost in the desert.
Mrs. Evans frowned. The boy seriously lacked any sort of manners, though that was not surprising given the nasty rumors whispered about the Snapes. But Mrs. Evans was a good-natured woman and the boy did not seem so bad—besides her Lily just seemed to adore him. Whatever her little Petunia said, the greatest threat this boy posed was dirtying the floral patterned cloth she had on the swinging chair.
When Mrs. Evans went back inside, Lily stopped sipping her lemonade and instead decided to contemplate it.
"I was thinking, Sev," she said after a moment, "Fighting dementors is sort of like making lemons into lemonade. Y'know, 'when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.'"
Severus scowled, "That doesn't even make sense."
"Yes it does! The dementors are the lemons, they make you think about the bad stuff that has happened to you and make you bitter. And the patronus is the…wait," Lily's brow furrowed in concentration, "Okay, you have bad memories, but you make things better by adding good ones to them…" Lily sighed in frustration, "Agh, I dunno, you're right. It doesn't make any sense."
A pit grew in Severus's chest at the look of Lily's disappointment, "Well maybe, when bad things happen to us, we can use them to make good things. Like when…" he was trying to salvage Lily's idea but no words would come.
"Like when people are cruel to you, but then you are able to treat people better because you know what it's like when people treat you badly!" Lily piped.
Severus inwardly scoffed at her sentiment, but spared her his cynicism and offered, "Or when dementors make you despair, but are also defeated when you make something beautiful like the patronus."
Lily beamed, "See? It makes sense after all."
She set her empty glass on the floor and stretched before she slouched back in the slowly rocking chair. She laid her head on Severus's shoulder and yawned loudly.
Severus stopped breathing for a moment. So close, someone was close to him. Lily was close to him.
"What are you two weirdosdoing?" huffed a bossy voice. Lily's sister, Petunia had just climbed up the porch steps and was standing in front of the two friends with her hands haughtily placed on her hips.
"Nothing, what are you doing?" Lily countered mildly.
"I was just over playing with Alice Winchell. She just got a brand new authentic Victorian style dollhouse and we spent the whole afternoon playing with it," Petunia said snootily.
"Yeah well it was just a Muggle dollhouse," said Severus, "Our dollhouses have moving dolls and the rooms rearrange themselves," he finished smugly, satisfied with the look of inferiority on her face.
Petunia quickly recovered, "Of course you would know. I bet you like to play with dolls all the time, just like you like to wear your mom's clothes."
Severus glared at her so violently, she squeaked in fright and ran down the steps.
"Stop it both of you!" Lily cried, her head leaving Severus's shoulder as she leapt up to glare at the both of them.
For one mad instant, Severus wanted to grab her and pull her back down. He wanted to force her head back to rest on his shoulder. The thought was immediately forgotten in the wake of her anger.
"It's not my fault you hang around with that creepy freak all the time! You're going to end up just like him!" Petunia snapped before turning and running down the road.
Lily let out a small sob before rushing into the house, the screen door clanging shut behind her. Severus was alone. He slid off the chair and heavily went down the porch steps. His guilt and fear turned his insides to lead. He had not felt this horrible since he and Lily had their first fight. Petunia was involved in that skirmish as well.
She had followed the two into Lily's hideout in the forest and hid behind a tree. When she made herself known, she and Severus got into a petty shouting match, which resulted in Severus willing the tree branch above her to break. Petunia disappeared into the brush, sobbing.
"Tuney!" Lily cried.
Severus could not help smirking until he felt a shove from behind. He stumbled a few paces and whirled around. He had never seen Lily so angry—he had never even seen her upset before. Her anger terrified him more than any other, especially when it was directed at him.
"Did you do that?" her green eyes had a spark of fire in them.
He lied, and she knew it.
She had stomped away and left him alone.
She did not speak to him for a whole week and even when they reconciled she treated him rather coldly for some time. It was torture for the boy who had temporarily forgotten how to be lonely.
Would she forgive him again? Though he did not hurt Petunia this time, he had still made Lily very upset. She might think it best never to see him again. Severus shuddered. He could not lose her. He ran the rest of the way to his house.
Mrs. Snape scowled at her son as though he were some foul-smelling thing the dog brought in. Severus could tell she was a sour mood by the way she was cleaning the kitchen. Several plates were already broken by her violently cast cleaning spells.
"What do you want?" she said as if he was the one who caused her to be so weary and drawn.
"Is dad here?"
Another dish shattered, "Gone again. Been gone since last night. Good for nothing pig."
Severus was silent. He left his mother and went to the den, which was populated by a ratty couch, a rickety stool, a television, a radio and an ancient, wall piano. Severus sat in front of the piano. He attempted to tune it, a futile habit as the instrument would forever be out of tune. He shuffled some of his music sheets and picked one—an old Ray Charles creation.
He plunked the weary keys rather gracefully for a boy his age until he was sufficiently warmed up and started with a tune of his own. After a few simple chords he started humming the words—he dared not sing—there was something about the Snape household that discouraged song.
Severus frowned when he hit a sour note. He turned the Charles sheet around and scribbled notes on it. The song would be called 'Lily'. He worked on it until the sun fell, until the moon rose. Scratching out, adding, crumpling, rewriting.
It was finished.
Severus stuffed the sheets into his overcoat, close to his heart. He stood up, his legs hurt from sitting so long. He grinned, Lily would be sure to forgive with this present.
"Boy?"
Severus jumped. His father was standing unsteadily in the den. In his fervor, Severus had not heard him come in. He backed into a corner as his father advanced.
"Goddam…boy," he slurred.
Severus received what was by previous experiences, a minor thrashing by the time he managed to escape to his attic. His ribs ached and there was a sharp pain in his arm, but he would sleep it off. He was going to see Lily tomorrow.
The sky was pink and misty and the road of Spinner's End was deserted except for an incredibly disheveled boy who was running down the middle of the street, a wad of papers clutched in his hand. Severus ran up the steps of number 7 and rang the doorbell. He bounced on his toes impatiently.
A man in plaid pants and a matching bathrobe answered the door. He looked down at the shabby looking boy in bemusement.
"Is Lily here?" Severus asked.
"Ah—well, she's eating breakfast right now…but I'll get her," Mr. Evans disappeared into the house, "Lily, that young Snape boy is here to see you," he called.
Lily walked sleepily to the front door, rubbing her eyes. She was wearing a candy floss colored nightgown and her dark red hair was perfectly tousled, whereas Severus was wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday and his hair was unspeakably tangled.
When she saw him she folded her arms, "What do you want?" she said sharply.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
"No!" called Petunia from the hallway.
"Why?" Lily asked, keeping her frigid tone.
"I-I have something for you," he said, letting his hair fall in front of his eyes. He did not see her eyes soften.
"Okay."
Severus walked nervously into the usually welcoming foyer. His doubts had finally caught up with him. Why on earth had he come here? Why on earth had he written the stupid song? Like that was going to make things better. He could not even sing. It didn't make sense. Stupid.
He walked over to the foyer's beautifully carved piano and sat in front of it like he always longed to do when he was invited into the Evans' household. He took the rumpled sheets from his jacket and set them up while Lily watched quizzically.
"I-um, wrote this," he said.
The opening notes resonated wonderfully on the superior piano. Simple and sweet, like his voice. The words were sung quietly at first, but grew confidently louder as the song went on. His voice was hoarse and light. He sang:
"Sweeter than honey, lighter than air,
No sun brighter, no moon fair-er
Loving, living, soulful, spring
Of water comes her laughing-ring
Green-eyed girl
By my side
Green-eyed girl
In my mind
Green-eyed girl
In my heart.
Like a drink in the desert,
Like a home in the rain,
What if I never, see her again?
Green-eyed girl…"
As the final notes rang he turned to Lily, who, unbeknownst to him, had kept her eyes on him for the entirety of the song. From the somber look she gave him, he thought she was still mad at him and his heart sank.
He made a last desperate attempt, "I-I'm sorry…I've been…I just want to…"
Lily leapt on the seat and threw her arms around him, "Sev! That was so—so wonderful!"
And for a moment, nothing else existed. Not the puzzled parents in the doorway, not Petunia scowling through the bars of the stairs, not the persisting pain in his shoulder.
And for a moment, Severus felt as if he had made something truly right.
Phew, long chapter. Thoughts?