Craig knelt for a long time with his head resting on John Paul's lap as John Paul ran his fingers lazily through his hair. There was a peace between them that both men found comforting.
"I'm sorry," John Paul said quietly.
"What for?" Craig asked looking up.
John Paul paused to look into the depths of his lover's soulful brown eyes until he felt himself completely engulfed by their gaze. Looking into Craig's eyes could touch him deeper than anything he had ever known before. Just one look and John Paul felt safe, he felt like he was home.
"I need to learn that I can trust you." John Paul ran his hand gently over the tilt of Craig's chin.
"I know I've given you reason not to in the past," Craig said catching hold of John Paul's hand, "But I won't do it again… I promise." Craig touched his lips to John Paul's hand, kissing each finger in turn before pressing his mouth warmly to the curve of John Paul's palm. "No more secrets…"
"No more secrets," John Paul agreed.
John Paul smiled as Craig got to his feet and stretched. There was a time when Craig's words would have felt like nothing more than that, just words, but now his promises felt like a guarantee that John Paul could trust and he finally realised that he did.
"I think I fancy a bath," Craig said as he stretched out his arms widely and headed out of the room.
Craig stopped at the door and turned back with a cheeky grin. "So?" he said holding out his hand, "Are you gonna join me?"
---
John Paul stood with his arms folded over his chest and one eyebrow raised as he observed the bathtub before him.
"So just how much of a girl ARE YOU?" he asked with a laugh.
"What?" Craig replied defensively, "I LIKE the bubbles, they're relaxing…"
"Bubbles are one thing," John Paul said, "But THIS??? It's like an explosion in a shampoo factory."
Craig skimmed his hand over the mass of foam that rest on the surface of the filled bathtub.
"Well I like them," he said dropping his clothes onto a pile on the floor and stepping carefully into the hot water. He sighed as the perfumed liquid covered his body until he was almost hidden under the sea of bubbles.
Scooping a handful of bubbles Craig blew them at John Paul. "And if you don't want to join me," he said laughing, "you don't have to."
It only took John Paul a second to consider his options before his own clothing has been discarded and he stepped gingerly into the bathtub.
The water was hot against his skin and it took a second to adjust to the temperature as he sank deeper into the tub and let his back come to rest against Craig's chest.
Leaning his head back to settle back on Craig's shoulder John Paul sank deeper into the water until the bubbles tickled at his chin and he let out a contented sigh.
"Told you the bubbles were relaxing," Craig gloated as he slid his arms around John Paul's chest and held him close.
"OK you win," John Paul conceded, "The bubbles are great." He sighed again. "I think I could stay here for the rest of my life."
"Oh I don't know," Craig said thoughtfully as he ran his hands over John Paul's soft skin, "You'll get wrinkly!"
"Hey! Are you trying to say you wouldn't love me if I was wrinkly…"
"Of course… I only like you now coz you're young and gorgeous!"
"Charming!" John Paul laughed as he playfully aimed his elbow at Craig's stomach.
Craig touched a kiss to the top of John Paul's head. "I'll love you however old and wrinkly you get," he said lovingly, "Just as long as you're always here."
"I promise," John Paul replied.
They lay back for a while and simply enjoyed the pure physical pleasure of their closeness mixed with the warmth of the bath that soaked away all the stresses they had felt over the past few days. The rise and fall of their chests caused the warm perfumed water to wash gently over them with soft caresses.
John Paul took hold of one of Craig's hands and stroked lightly at his fingers.
"There's something I should tell you… if we're gonna have no more secrets."
"Let me guess… someone's in love with you too," Craig joked.
John Paul smiled as he turned his head to look at the man behind him. "Well I hope at least one person is," he said with a laugh.
"You can count on it," Craig told him and he leant forward a brushed a kiss across John Paul's lips.
John Paul snuggled back against his lover and continued to run his fingers over the hand that he held.
"I knew about Adam," John Paul said quietly, "I knew how he felt about you…"
"You did? How… when…"
"He told me… well no I guessed and he admitted it… the other day when he got wasted and we almost had to carry him home… I should have said something but I didn't think it would do any good…"
Craig was thoughtful for a moment before he spoke. "That explains why you got so weird… asking me if I fancied him… I was worried what that was all about…"
"Sorry… I should have said but…."
"It doesn't matter…"
Craig kissed at the damp skin of John Paul's neck as he held him closer. "I already knew as well," he breathed into John Paul's ear, "At least I suspected…"
John Paul laughed softly. "We really are gonna have to talk more," he said lightly raising Craig's hand to his mouth and dropping feather light kisses over his fingers.
"So you're not angry that I didn't say anything then?" John Paul asked.
"No of course not… I didn't either…"
John Paul ran the tip of his tongue lightly over the length of Craig's index finger. "Only if you were," he continued, "I might have to think of a way to make it up to you."
Craig swallowed hard as John Paul took the tip of his finger between his lips. "Well… maybe I'm a little bit angry," he said pressing his chest firmly into John Paul's back, "So if you feel the need to make it up to me…"
Craig took a shaky breath as his finger was pulled deeper into John Paul's mouth and the soft heat of his tongue moved temptingly over it. He slid his other hand over the firmness of John Paul's chest, feeling his nipples harden at his touch, and then down over his taught belly and across his soft smooth thighs.
John Paul released Craig's finger from his mouth as he gasped at Craig's touch skimming over his flesh and awakening every nerve. Both of Craig's hands slipped over John Paul's thighs, stroking the soft skin that was warm from the heat of the bath and squeezing gently at his firm flesh.
John Paul relaxed his body back against Craig, his head falling back against the man's shoulder as he sighed with the pleasure that Craig's attentive touch was arousing in him.
"I thought you were supposed to be making things up to me," Craig breathed teasingly into John Paul's ear.
John Paul stretched his arm back behind his head and took a gentle hold of Craig's neck, pulling the man's mouth closer to his.
"Oh I will," he promised as he turned his head and kissed Craig passionately, his tongue slipping inside the mouth that was yearning for it.
Their kiss deepened as Craig's hands continued to explore the slickness of John Paul's body until they finally reached their target causing John Paul to moan softly into Craig's mouth as he felt Craig's strong fingers begin to stroke lightly over his cock.
It never failed to amaze Craig just how much pleasure he could get from touching John Paul, from making him moan that way and making him cry out Craig's name as he came. Even the simple thought of pleasuring John Paul would arouse him, but to have him this close, to hold him this way and to know that John Paul loved him without question was more of a turn on than anything he had ever known.
John Paul's eyes were closed tightly as Craig's hand moved slowly over his cock, making the bath water swirl enticingly around the sensitive flesh as he pressed back against Craig until he could feel the firmness of the man's cock pushing into his back, demanding attention.
"Craig…" John Paul's voice was heavy with desire as Craig's hand continued to work its magic, easing back his foreskin to allow the hot bathwater access to the tip of his pulsing cock and then stroking back in the other direction until John Paul could hardly contain himself.
Craig's mouth nibbled at the hot damp skin of John Paul's neck, licking at the intoxicating taste and sucking the flesh into his mouth.
"God Craig really…" John Paul's voice shook as he spoke and his breathing was heavy, "If you carry on doing that I don't think I'll be able to…"
Craig laughed lightly into John Paul's neck as the knowledge that he could arouse such desire in this man made him feel giddy.
"Tell me that you want me," Craig breathed heavily into John Paul's ear.
"You know I do," John Paul panted, "More than anything… I want you so much…"
"I need you John Paul… I really do… I…"
John Paul pulled himself forward, sitting upright and then, struggling slightly and laughing due to the confines of the tub he finally managed to move himself onto his knees, his legs on either side of Craig's pushing them together as he squeezed against the sides of the bath.
He reached a hand behind him and gripped the throbbing hardness of Craig's cock, making the man gasp at the sudden touch.
"I want you Craig," John Paul repeated, "I want you to make love to me."
John Paul lowered himself slowly onto the hardness of Craig's cock and guided it into his tight opening. His body was relaxed by the warm bath and Craig's cock was slick with the soap bubbles suspended in the water but John Paul still gasped as he felt himself being stretched by the fullness of Craig's erection.
He paused for a second to allow his body to accommodate Craig before pushing the man deeper into him until he had lowered himself onto Craig's lap.
John Paul sat motionless as he took a moment to savour the sensation of Craig's cock buried deep inside him and Craig's hand still curled tightly around his own cock.
Craig kissed the smooth skin of John Paul back. "God you feel amazing," he breathed as John Paul began to raise himself up slowly causing the bath water to rush back over the exposed skin of Craig's cock and then lower himself back down to consume its length once more.
Craig wrapped one arm tightly around John Paul's chest and held the man close to him. They moved together in a slow deliberate rhythm rising and falling in time, their bodies coming together under the hot soapy water and their moans mingling into the steam that filled the room.
John Paul whimpered in pleasure as Craig's hand held him tightly, caressing the length of his cock, his strokes growing tighter and faster in time with John Paul's own motions.
John Paul's hands gripped the sides of the bathtub as his body trembled. Craig's cock was so hard and deep inside him and each upward thrust of Craig's hips sent shooting stars behind John Paul's eyes he was urged closer to release.
Craig panted against John Paul's back as the mans hot tight body moved over his cock, gripping it so perfectly that every inch of it vibrated with desire.
"Oh god Craig…" John Paul's knuckles were white as he held the sides of the tub and his breathing was laboured and urgent.
Craig could feel John Paul's cock throbbing against his palm as it begged for satisfaction. He squeezed it tighter as he bucked his hips and drove his cock deeper into John Paul making the man cry out as the hard presence inside him hit the spot that gave him the ultimate pleasure.
John Paul called out Craig's name as he came, Craig's hand stroking his cock firmly as it pulsed out its liberation sending heat from John Paul's body to mix with the heat from the bath.
Craig pulled John Paul harder down against his body, feeling John Paul's climaxing flesh contract around his cock, holding him that bit tighter until the joy of being deep inside his lover was more than he could stand and he cried out his pleasure coming hard and fast inside the body he worshiped, filling John Paul with his desire until he relaxed back into the bath tub completely spent.
John Paul carefully uncurled his legs and adjusted himself until he was resting back against Craig's chest.
"So, have I made it up to you yet?" he asked with a breathy laugh.
"Maybe," Craig considered, "I suppose it all depends on what else I get if I said no!"
John Paul turned his face to kiss the full pink mouth that was smiling at him. "You can get anything you want," he said, "You always can…"
Craig wrapped his arms around John Paul's chest and hugged him.
"I love you," he said kissing at John Paul's ear.
"You'd better," John Paul told him, "Coz you're stuck with me now... permanently!"
---
"There's no beer left…" Craig's voice called from the kitchen.
Adam and John Paul exchanged amused looks but didn't reply.
Craig walked into the living room and leant in the doorway. "I said… there's no beer left," he repeated.
John Paul opened the can in his hand and took a deliberately slow drink as he eyed Craig over its rim.
Craig sighed. "I suppose I'll go to the shops and get some shall I?"
"Good idea," John Paul agreed, "Pick me up some chocolate while you're there would you?"
"What am I? Your slave?"
"If you play your cards right!"
"You DO know it's pouring down out there?" Craig pouted in the vain hope that either John Paul or Adam would valiantly offer to go out for him but they both just settled themselves deeper into the comfort of the sofa.
"You'd better hurry then," John Paul teased, "You don't want to get too soaked!"
"Thanks for your concern," Craig replied as he pulled on his coat, "If I get pneumonia you'll be sorry…"
"Don't worry I'll nurse you back to health."
As Craig turned to leave John Paul called after him holding his hand out. "Hey haven't you forgotten something?"
"What?"
"Come here…"
John Paul caught hold of Craig's hand and pulled the man towards him planting a firm kiss against his lips. "Don't take too long," he said softly, "I'll miss ya…"
Adam watched the exchange between the two men with a smile. It had been a few days since he confessed his feelings to Craig and he had been waiting ever since for the awkwardness to build between them, but it never did.
Craig treated him the same way he had since the day they moved in together and, as much as Adam hated to admit it, Craig's handling of the situation only served to make Adam love him more. But at the same time Adam had found a great sense of relief having expressed how he felt.
For so long the thoughts of "what if" had hung over him. What if Craig felt the same… what if John Paul wasn't the right man for him… what if he had a chance. All that changed when Adam used the L word and Craig gently told him that his heart was with John Paul and it always would be.
Adam knew that he would eventually get over Craig, and he even hoped that their friendship would survive long after Craig returned home to Chester, but for now he would hold his unrequited love close and just enjoy what time he could with the man he loved.
Adam became aware that John Paul was staring at him and he shuffled uneasily, had he been able to tell that he was thinking about Craig?
John Paul ran his tongue over his lips as he took a moment to think, there was something he wanted to say but he felt that he had to choose his words carefully.
"Look Adam…" he began as he cleared his throat, "I just wanted to say… well to let you know… I mean Craig told me… about what happened the other night…"
"You mean when I made an idiot of myself," Adam laughed self-consciously.
"Nobody thinks that," John Paul reassured him, "I know it's been hard for you recently and I don't suppose me being here helps either."
"Seeing Craig happy helps… I probably shouldn't have said anything to him but I guess he just found me at a weak moment and I needed… I don't know…"
John Paul took Adam's hand. "I know," he said, "Really I do. Craig doesn't make it easy not to love him… not that he would ever believe it."
"He was so understanding," Adam said as his deep green eyes misted with the memory, "I was such a mess, picking that guy up and everything, I don't think I'd ever felt lower and he was there… just when I needed someone to hold me he was there…"
"He's good like that. I sometimes think he's got a sixth sense, he always seems to know when someone needs him… when I need him." John Paul couldn't help but smile as he remembered the times when he'd been missing Craig so much it seemed unbearable and within minutes a text or phone call would let him know everything was going to be OK.
"When he held me," Adam was continuing, "Things didn't seem so bad any more… I don't know why but it just seemed better…"
John Paul nodded his understanding as he squeezed Adam's hand.
"And when he kissed me it was like he was telling me that it was gonna be alright…"
John Paul continued to smile, but the smile was frozen in place and Adam's words turned into white noise as four words started to spin in his mind…"when he kissed me…"
Craig had never mentioned that. Why had Craig never mentioned that? Obviously because it wasn't important. But if it wasn't important why had he tried to hide it? What did he have to hide? It was nothing, of course it was nothing. He trusted Craig… they'd already been through this and Craig had promised him that he would never give him a reason not to trust him again. Why again? Did that mean he had given him reason to before?
John Paul didn't notice when Adam's hand slipped from his hold or the way that Adam's words had trailed off into silence. He needed Craig to get home… he needed to feel the reassurance of that steady brown gaze and the comfort of his strong arms. He needed to know that the fear that was gripping his chest was unfounded.
Adam fell heavily against the back of the sofa as he pulled his hand from John Paul's grip. He had seen the look in the man's eyes and he knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing. "Shit!" he thought to himself, "Shit, shit, shit… why do I always manage to cause trouble? Damn Craig why didn't you tell him that bit… now he's blowing it all out of proportion in his mind… I can see it… and if I try and explain it's gonna sound like I'm hiding thing… SHIT!"
The silence in the room became impenetrable as the two men waited for Craig to get home.
---
Craig was shaking the rain from his hair as he entered the living room, scattering droplets everywhere. He grinned at John Paul as he stuck his hand into the carrier bag he was holding and threw a large purple packet to him.
John Paul caught the pack and looked at it. "Chocolate buttons!" He said with a mildly disgusted tone, "What am I six?"
"Sorry…" Craig said, "I thought you liked them."
John Paul felt a stab of guilt at the hurt look in those gentle brown eyes and cursed himself.
"I do…" he said apologetically, "I really do… thanks…"
Craig smiled but there was an uncertainty in his eyes. Something seemed wrong with John Paul and he felt almost afraid to find out what it was.
He hadn't realised just how cold he was until his teeth began to chatter noisily, which encouraged the rest of his body to begin shaking.
John Paul was gripped with concern as he noticed just how soaked Craig had gotten. His clothes were dripping wet, leaving puddles of rainwater on the carpet.
"For gods sake Craig you need to get out of those things," John Paul insisted getting to his feet.
"Anything to get me naked," Craig teased around chattering teeth.
"Not this time," John Paul replied, "I know I offered to nurse you through pneumonia, but I'd really rather not have to! Go on… get in the bedroom and take those clothes off… I'll get you some towels."
Craig had already dropped his jacket and shirt into a sodden pile on the bedroom floor when John Paul arrived with armfuls of soft white towels. He unceremoniously dropped one onto Craig head and began ferociously drying the man's hair.
"Careful," Craig said with a laugh, "I do want some skin left on my scalp!"
"Sorry," John Paul said letting go of the towel and grabbing a larger one to wrap around Craig's shoulders.
"Is there something wrong?" Craig didn't want to ask the question, he certainly didn't want to know the answer but those were two things that he couldn't really avoid.
John Paul shrugged. "Why should there be?"
"You tell me…"
"You'd better get out of those jeans before you get a chill."
Craig struggled to peel the soaking denim from his skin as John Paul wrapped another towel around his waist. As John Paul began to rub the softness of the towel over Craig's back he started to feel some warmth returning to his body.
"John Paul what's wrong?"
"Nothing…"
"I know you better than that," Craig took a hold of John Paul's shoulders and looked him squarely in the eyes, "What's wrong… tell me…"
John Paul's eyes flicked down to the carpet for a second and when they raised Craig could see the confusion shining brightly amidst their blueness.
"Is there anything you haven't told me?" John Paul asked quietly.
"Anything… like what?"
"Just anything… anything that maybe you didn't think was important at the time… that slipped your mind…"
"You're gonna have to give me more of a clue than that."
John Paul took a deep breath. "We said we weren't gonna have any more secrets right?"
"Right."
"So how come you never mentioned that you kissed Adam?"
"You knew that… I told you… when I came back to Chester…"
"I don't mean then," John Paul could feel a frustrated rage building inside him, "I'm talking about the other night… when you were in his room…"
"You mean when he was upset..?"
"Unless there have been other times you haven't told me about."
John Paul shrugged Craig's hands from his shoulders and turned away. He had planned to ask Craig about this calmly. He had been given no reason to expect the worst but his jealousy had taken over. The very thought of Craig kissing someone else, no matter how innocently, made him feel physically ill.
"Of course there haven't been any other times."
"So it's just that one time you didn't bother telling me about then?"
"It didn't seem important." Craig placed his hand on John Paul's shoulder but it was shrugged off again as the man spun around with anger flashing in his eyes.
"My boyfriend kisses someone who's said that he's in love with him… how is that not important?"
"It wasn't like that…"
"So what was it like? Tell me, I'd like to know."
"He hadn't said he loved me when I kissed him."
John Paul let out a snort of a laugh. "Oh well that's alright then… you just kissed him coz you fancied it."
"No that's not what I meant." Craig head was spinning. Where had this all come from? Did John Paul's insecurities really run this deep? "He was upset… I was comforting him."
"With your mouth?"
"John Paul please. It was a gesture of friendship… really… there's nothing more to it than that."
"Just friendship? Like the time you kissed me in the gym?"
Craig shook his head. "No, nothing like the time I kissed you in the gym… there is nothing like kissing you."
"I don't understand why you didn't tell me… if there was nothing in it." John Paul didn't realised that his hands were clenched into fists at his side until he felt his nails begin to dig into the flesh of his palms.
"Because there was nothing to tell," Craig could feel his temper begin to fray at the edges. Why couldn't John Paul believe him, just once? "He was upset and I kissed him for a second… in comfort… end of story and if you can't understand that…"
"What? If I can't understand that what?"
"Maybe we're not as strong as we think we are…"
"And if you feel the need to go around kissing random men then maybe we're not."
"Oh for gods sake John Paul," Craig snapped, "ONE MAN, my friend… who was upset… it's not any random men!"
"Well that's what you say…" John Paul knew he was being unreasonable. He knew that he was starting to sound ridiculous and he even realised that he pretty much believe what Craig was telling him but still he felt unable to back down. The more Craig reasoned with him the more he resisted until the anger sparked between them with enough heat to start a forest fire.
"Yes that's what I say…" Craig snarled between gritted teeth, "Because it's true." Craig didn't realise that he had raised his hands until they connected with John Paul's chest with a shove.
John Paul stumbled back with surprise at the sudden blow.
"And how am I supposed to know that?" John Paul asked angrily, "Just because you say so?"
Craig closed the distance between himself and his lover before raising his hands and shoving John Paul again. John Paul felt the wall collide with his back as he staggered against it.
"Yes because I say so," Craig said with his face only inches from John Paul's. "Because I say so… and because I love you."
There was a silence as the two men locked eyes. Their chests rose with the heavy breathing of their combined anger and their fingers clawed at the air.
"Say it again," John Paul said, his voice still laden with unspent rage.
"Say what?"
"That you love me."
Craig fingers dug into the soft flesh of John Paul's forearms. "I love you," he said with a fierce passion, "I love you and only you."
"Then show me," John Paul said as he wrapped his arms around Craig's shoulders, pushing the towel to the floor, "Show me just how much."
Their mouths collided in desperation as the fire of their anger soon changed to the heat that fired their desire.
John Paul's hands clawed at the small of Craig's back as he pulled the man tightly into his arms. His fingers caught on the towel that was still wrapped around Craig's waist and John Paul quickly released it, dropping it to the floor leaving Craig completely naked in his embrace.
Craig could feel the roughness of John Paul's jeans scratching against his bare flesh and the softness of his t-shirt pressing against his naked chest. John Paul's hands seemed to be touching him everywhere at once and it was no longer the cold that was making him shiver.
"I'm just gonna have to make you realise that you can't go around kissing other men anymore," John Paul whispered into Craig's ear.
"And how d'you plan on doing that?" Craig asked breathlessly as he felt John Paul's teeth bite into the softness at the crook of his neck.
Craig couldn't stifle the soft whimpers as John Paul's mouth travelled over his skin. The heat from John Paul's tongue running lightly over his bare flesh until his whole body trembled with desire. Craig could never quite believe how easily John Paul could arouse him. A few touches and kisses from the man was all it would take to reduce Craig to desperation and leave his body aching for satisfaction.
"I'm gonna show you what you stand to lose," John Paul said as he continued to nibble at Craig's sensitive skin, "And then I'm gonna make sure you don't want to look at anyone else anyway…"
Craig opened his mouth to protest that he never looked at anyone else but the suddenness with which John Paul grabbed his shoulders and spun him around until his back was pressed firmly against the cold wall stole the air from his lungs and the words from his lips.
"You're mine Craig Dean," John Paul breathed with his mouth only a fraction of an inch from Craig's lips, "And don't you ever forget that."
There was an aggression in John Paul's kiss that both surprised and excited Craig. He felt completely powerless as John Paul held him against the wall and kissed him so hard that he felt certain his lips would be bruised. Yet he felt no compulsion to resist, instead he felt himself submit completely to John Paul and allowed the other man to take control of his body.
John Paul's mouth left Craig's lips and travelled slowly over his neck, nipping lightly at the soft skin and pausing to run his tongue over the heavy pulse in his throat.
Craig's breathing was slow and heavy as John Paul's tongue brushed over his naked chest, his teeth biting at the firmness of his nipples causing a yelp to escape from Craig's lips as the heat from John Paul's mouth moved ever lower down the bare flesh of his lover.
John Paul ran his hands along Craig's sides, following the curve of his slender waist, as he sank to his knees. He paused for a second to look back up into the deep dark pools of Craig's eyes and was gratified to see a mixture of love and desire in them. He stroked his hands over Craig's thighs, smiling at the sound of sighs his touch was evoking, and ran them to the top of Craig's legs where he gently but firmly cupped Craig's balls in his palm.
Craig's nails scratched against the cold wall at his back as John Paul's hand massaged his balls lightly. He could feel the heat of John Paul's breath close to his cock and every inch of him ached for that heat to engulf him.
John Paul knew just what Craig wanted, what he needed and it took great restraint to resist giving in too quickly. Instead John Paul leant forward and touched his tongue against the inside of Craig's thigh. He tasted at Craig's skin as he licked over the soft flesh, his tongue travelling to meet the contents of his hand at which point he pressed his mouth against Craig's balls and listened in satisfaction at Craig's moans and whimpers as he sucked the flesh gently into his mouth.
Craig's eyes were closed tightly and his legs trembled as John Paul continued to tease him, his mouth passing so close to Craig's cock that it would jump in anticipation only to be passed over time and time again.
When John Paul finally took the head of Craig's cock into his mouth it was so unexpected that Craig's knees buckled and he had to hold on to John Paul's shoulders to keep himself from falling.
John Paul's mouth was hot and wet as his lips passed over the tip of Craig's cock, his tongue running in delightful circles over its head, taking it deeply into his mouth and sucking its length into his throat.
His head moved back and forward, passing Craig's cock in and out of his mouth in a steady rhythm as he held firmly onto its base. Craig's breaths were coming in short heavy gasps as John Paul sucked on him harder, his tongue lapping at the drops of precum that escaped from its tip with the promise of more not far behind.
"Oh god John Paul… I…" Craig's voice shook as the pressure of his climax began to build inside him. He could never resist John Paul's seductive mouth for long and the man's aggressive attitude had made it even more difficult.
John Paul could feel Craig's body shudder and he knew exactly what that meant; he knew that within moments Craig would fill his mouth with his hot desire. But John Paul had other ideas.
As quickly as he had taken Craig's cock into his mouth John Paul let it fall from his lips and he pulled himself to his feet.
Once again he looked into the depths of Craig's eyes and this time in with the love and desire he saw confusion and desperation. At the last second Craig had been denied the release he had expected, had wanted, had needed and he felt even more under John Paul's control that ever.
"Not yet…" John Paul whispered to him as he kissed his lover gently, "Tell me again how much you love me."
"More than anything," Craig replied breathlessly, "More than my own life."
John Paul smiled as he realised that he didn't doubt the truth in Craig's words, not for a single second.
He took a step back and could help but admire the sight of his naked boyfriend stood with his back still pressed firmly against the wall and his cock standing proudly in front of him, glistening with the remnants of John Paul's saliva.
"Turn around."
Craig obeyed John Paul's instruction without hesitation and was quickly stood with the palms of his hands flat against the wall he faced trembling in anticipation of John Paul's next move.
"Let me show you just how much I love you."
John Paul placed his hands against the smoothness of Craig's back. His skin was still cool from his recent soaking and it trembled at John Paul's touch. As John Paul moved his breath was hot against the back of Craig's neck and it sent shivers down his spine that John Paul could feel under his fingertips.
"I love you so much Craig," John Paul whispered into Craig's neck as he kissed it, "I guess that's why I get so crazy when I think you want someone else… I couldn't stand to lose you."
"You won't," Craig promised with a sigh as John Paul's mouth kissed the back of his neck tenderly, "I could never love anyone as much as I love you…"
Just as he had done with Craig's chest, John Paul now covered the man's back with kisses and trailed his tongue over the lightly tanned skin. He pressed his mouth into the small of Craig's back as his hands squeezed at his buttocks. Sinking back to his knees John Paul kissed firmly against the roundness of Craig's buttocks before nipping playfully at Craig's skin with his teeth.
Craig gasped as he felt John Paul's hands gently part his buttocks and push his tongue firmly between them. The sensation of John Paul's tongue pushing against his opening was so incredible that Craig almost forgot to breathe. The heat from John Paul's mouth seemed to totally envelope Craig and the unrelenting motion of his tongue turned Craig's legs to jelly.
As John Paul circled his tongue against Craig's body he could feel that exquisite entrance react to his attentions, pulsing against his mouth in a most inviting way. He pushed his tongue harder as he felt Craig begin to open up to him and heard a sharp intake of breath from Craig as he continued to lap enthusiastically at Craig's trembling anus.
John Paul pushed his thumb against Craig's moist opening and eased it gently inside. Craig bit on his lip as he felt John Paul's thumb inside him, moving in slow circles in preparation of what was to come, of what Craig hoped was to come. John Paul's thumb was deep inside the heat of Craig's body and he could feel it contract around him as he guided it slowly in and out.
His cock was aching for release from his jeans and eventually John Paul could not resist the demands of his own body any longer.
He pulled himself to his feet and kissed at Craig's neck as he pulled down his zip and released his throbbing cock to the air.
"I want you so much," he murmured into Craig's ear as he directed the head of his cock towards the tempting opening.
"Please John Paul…" Craig begged pushing back against his lover and forcing his cock inside.
It was John Paul's turn to gasp as he felt Craig open up to him. His desire had built to such intensity with the remnants of his anger still lingering at the back of his mind that all intentions of gentleness were forgotten as he slammed his cock hard into Craig, forcing the man firmly against the wall.
Craig whimpered for a second at the aggressive way John Paul drove into him but it soon felt so good to have that cock deep inside him that any desire for complaint was quickly brushed aside.
John Paul held tightly onto Craig's hips as he moved deep and hard inside the man, filling him and possessing him completely until he was aware of nothing other than how much he loved Craig and how much he wanted him.
"You feel amazing," John Paul panted, Craig's body gripped him so perfectly as he moved into it.
"Oh god John Paul," Craig could hardly think straight as the hardness of John Paul's cock pushed deeply into him, brushing against that magic spot over and over again, "Fuck me…. Please god fuck me hard…"
John Paul moved harder and faster into Craig as the man repeated his request with a trembling voice. Slipping his hand around Craig's waist John Paul took a firm hold on his cock and stroked it in time with his thrusts until the words coming from Craig's mouth no longer made and sense but had become sounds of pure pleasure.
He could feel Craig's cock begin to pulse in his hand as Craig's moans got louder, his climax racing towards him at an unstoppable rate. And then, just as Craig thought he would explode John Paul froze. He stopped all motion and loosened his grip on Craig's cock until it just rested lightly against his palm. Craig whimpered at again being denied his final satisfaction but at the same time found a perverse excitement in John Paul's total dominance over him, knowing that he would only be allowed to come when John Paul decided.
"Tell me that you're mine," John Paul said leaning into Craig's neck.
"I am… completely…"
"And you'll never want anyone else…"
"Never…"
"Now tell me what you want…"
"I want you… I want you to fuck me… I want you to… oh god please John Paul… I want you to make me come…"
"I love you so much Craig," John Paul said as he curled his fingers tightly around Craig's cock and resumed his slow steady thrusts inside him, "You're all I've ever wanted."
Craig's body shook as John Paul drove hard inside him again, his hand stroking the length of his cock faster and faster until once again he felt it begin to pulse against his palm.
Craig moaned loudly as John Paul's cock slammed forcefully inside him urging his climax on.
"Come for me Craig," John Paul said quietly, "I want to hear you scream my name when you come…"
As he spoke John Paul fucked Craig harder and harder, his hand gripping tightly onto Craig's cock with a motion to match his thrusts until Craig could resist no longer.
He cried out John Paul's name as he came, the intensity of his climax ripping through every atom of his body with a pleasure he could hardly stand. His cock throbbed heavily in John Paul's grip as it spilled his lust heavily with each new stroke of his hand until he felt completely drained.
The intensity of Craig's climax had increased John Paul's desire ten fold making him drive his cock hard into the still trembling, contracting flesh of Craig's body until he too felt the release he craved pulled from his body.
He let the pleasure consume him as he repeated Craig's name over and over, thrusting deeply inside him as his cock throbbed out his orgasm until he had nothing left to give.
John Paul was reluctant to relinquish possession of Craig's body but his shaking legs gave him no choice as he staggered back towards the bed and fell against the mattress with a satisfied sigh.
"You do realise," Craig said with a smile as he dropped himself onto the bed next to his lover, "That you've just made me want to make you jealous more often."
John Paul laughed as he grabbed Craig and pulled him into his arms. "Just not too often," John Paul requested, "I don't think I could stand the pace!"
---
Adam had been staring at his coffee for some time. He didn't notice the steaming hot liquid slowly cool until it was barely tepid, nor did he notice how his knuckles had whitened from gripping onto the cups handle for so long.
Adam had come to a decision and, as hard as he tried to think of an alternative, he knew that this was the only way out, this was the one thing he didn't want to do but the only thing that he could.
He didn't lift his head as Craig entered the kitchen and made himself a drink before joining Adam at the table.
"Alright mate?" Craig asked in a cheerful tone.
Adam painfully raised his eyes to his flatmate. The smile on Craig's face was wide and his eyes sparkled brightly. His dark blue dressing gown was wrapped tightly around him exposing just a fraction of skin below his throat, just enough to give Adam pause to wonder just what it would feel like to press his lips against that skin.
Of all the clichéd things he could do falling for his flatmate had to be the most stupid. But every time he looked into the depths of Craig's rich brown eyes, framed by unfathomably long lashes, Adam felt himself falling deeper and if he wasn't careful he would soon be in danger of never finding his way out.
"I've been thinking," Adam said slowly.
"Careful mate," Craig teased, "You're a student… you're not supposed to waste time thinking!"
"I'm serious," Adam continued returning his gaze to the safety of his drink.
"What's up?" Craig could hear the confusion and anguish in his friend's tone.
"I think it's time I moved out." Adam lifted his eyes a fraction in an attempt to gauge Craig's reaction.
"Why would you want to do that?" Craig asked with a puzzled frown, "I thought you liked living here."
"I did… I do…" Adam ran his hand through his hair nervously, "I just think it would be the best… for all of us..."
"I don't understand, what's happened?"
"Me… this… I just… I'm tired of…" Adam struggled to find the words to explain what he was feeling. He took the risk of looking into Craig's eyes and felt that familiar sensation as if the world had stopped spinning, the air had been taken from his lungs and the beauty of those eyes were the last thing he would ever gaze upon. "I don't want to be the cause of any more trouble…"
"You're not…"
"We both know that's not true," Adam was grateful for Craig's words but he could feel the lie hidden just below their surface, "Every time I open my mouth lately I seem to say the wrong thing… mess things up between you and John Paul… and I don't want to do that anymore… I don't want to be the reason that you two break up – I couldn't stand it. I've never seen you as happy as you've been the last few weeks with him here."
Craig's lips curled into a gentle smile as he took hold of Adam's hand and squeezed it gently.
"We're not about to break up," he reassured his friend, "Not because of you … not because of anything…"
"But if I stay I'm bound to do something, say something… like I did last night… if I'd just stopped to think…"
"It's not your fault that I hadn't told John Paul everything, besides half the fun of having a fight is in the making up!"
Adam tried to return Craig's smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. This wasn't how the conversation was supposed to go, Craig was meant to agree that Adam's leaving was for the best; he wasn't supposed to try and change his mind. And he certainly wasn't supposed to burn a look into him that melted Adam's very soul.
"I still think it's best if I go," Adam said firmly dropping his eyes to the surface of the table.
"I don't want you to go… you're my mate… I like you being here… and besides – I couldn't afford this place on my own."
"You'll find another flatmate easy enough."
"I don't want another flatmate… I'm more than happy with the one I've got… I don't want you to move out."
"I'm sure John Paul would be happier if I wasn't here, he'll be going back to Chester in a few days and…"
Craig squeezed Adam's hand harder. "I don't think John Paul would want you to leave either," he said gently, "We're mates Adam, good mates, I'd hate to lose that over… over something that will pass… and it will…"
Adam shook his head, he could feel tears pricking behind his eyes and the last thing he needed was kind words from Craig. "I still think it's best I go," he insisted, "That way there's can't be any more misunderstandings and John Paul…"
"John Paul doesn't want you to leave either."
Both men's heads turned to the doorway where neither had noticed the blond haired man standing for the last few minutes.
There was a smile on John Paul's mouth as he walked into the room. "I need someone to look after Craig while I'm not here." His eyes fell to the tabletop where Craig was still holding on to Adam's hand. As soon as he noticed where John Paul's gaze rested Adam's snatched his arm back as if scolded, grinding his teeth together and cursing himself for his stupidity. He'd done it again. Even when he had the best intentions at heart he still managed to throw a spanner in the works.
John Paul took a seat next to Craig, the smile hadn't faded from his lips and there seemed no anger in his eyes despite finding his boyfriend holding tightly onto the hand of another man.
"I mean it," John Paul continued, "I don't want you to leave. Craig needs you here, he needs someone who cares about him nearly as much as I do… and I can't think of anyone better…"
Adam looked into the dazzling blue of John Paul's eyes with astonishment, he had been certain that the man would welcome his offer to leave the flat, that he would want Adam as far away from his boyfriend as possible once he returned to Chester.
"I don't understand," Adam said, "I thought… after everything I just expected that…"
"Your friendship is important to Craig," John Paul explained, "So it's important to me… we all know the situation… just like you know that what Craig and I have got… nothing can come between that…"
"And I wouldn't want to… honestly I wouldn't…"
"So there's no need to leave then is there?" John Paul took Craig's hand in his own before reaching for Adam's. He pulled the two hands together, squeezing them both gently. "Friendships are worth fighting for," he said with a smile at Adam. "Almost as much as love," his smile turned to Craig and for a moment he was lost in the loving look he found in Craig's eyes.
"You two are amazing," Adam said smiling a smile that was more genuine that any he had known for a long time, "And if anyone ever tries to come between you… we'll they'll have to get through me first."
Adam lifted his drink and took a sip quickly spitting the cold coffee back into the cup.
"I think I need a fresh one," he said with a grimace, "Anyone else?"
John Paul and Craig both nodded their acceptance as Adam went to the sink to fill the kettle.
"Thank you," Craig mouthed silently at John Paul.
John Paul just smiled. There was still a small part of him that felt an unease at leaving Craig behind with Adam but he knew that he had to learn to trust his lover or there really was no future for them and this seemed a good a place to start as any.
---
The water was hot, almost painfully so, but John Paul didn't seem to have the energy to reach up and turn the shower down to a cooler setting. Instead he stood with his hands leaning against the cool of the bathroom tiles and let the water turn his skin a deep pink with its heat, the pain of it masking, at least temporarily, the terrible ache in his chest.
When he had first boarded the plane to Ireland all he had been able to think about was spending the next few weeks with Craig. He had no idea what else his visit to Dublin had in store for him, he hadn't expected the problems that Adam would cause and he had no idea that he would end up more in love with Craig than when he first arrived. He hadn't thought that was even possible.
He felt as if he had only arrived a few days ago but already it was time to pack his case and return home. No, not home, if home really was "where the heart is" then for the time being at least home was in Dublin but John Paul had to leave it behind and return to Chester.
He had to leave Craig behind, with Adam, and as much as he had learnt that he could trust Craig completely the thought still left an unsettling feeling of dread deep in his chest.
John Paul hadn't noticed the bathroom door open but he smiled as he felt the familiar arms slipping around his waist.
"I was wondering what was taking you so long," Craig said as he nuzzled into John Paul's neck.
"I was waiting for you," John Paul replied as he turned to face the man he loved.
Craig reached behind him to turn the dial on the shower. "Got that a bit high haven't you?"
"I didn't notice."
Craig felt concern as he looked into John Paul's eyes. Their familiar bright blue seemed dulled by sadness, and were those tears he could see or just droplets of water from the shower?
"You OK?" Craig touched his hand to John Paul's face and felt it tremble slightly under his touch as if the man was fighting to hold in the emotions that were threatening to consume him.
"I can't believe it's time for me to leave already," John Paul replied with a shaky voice.
Craig pulled John Paul against him. "I wish you didn't have to go," he said with a tight hug.
"Ask me to stay and I will."
"Ask me to come with you and I will…"
The men looked at each other and smiled. The both knew that the other would never make such a request, not now that they had both worked too long and too hard at their respective courses for the other to ask them to walk away from it, no matter how much they wanted to.
"It's not for long now," Craig said reassuringly, "and then we can be together… always."
"You promise?"
"On my life…"
Craig's lips were soft as they pressed lightly against John Paul's. A kiss to remember through the lonely nights to come, a kiss to hold in their hearts until they were together again, a kiss full of happiness and tears and a promise of a future together.
John Paul's skin was warm and slick with water as Craig held him. For the first time in a very long time Craig felt afraid to let go, he had grown so accustomed to John Paul being there every day, to looking into those brilliant blue eyes as often as he wanted and the thought that it was all about to be taken away again made him feel weak.
"I should have fought for you sooner," Craig said under his breath, a comment more to himself than to the man in his arms but John Paul heard the words and understood the pain behind them.
"I should never have let you go," John Paul replied as he held Craig tightly.
Craig knew that it wasn't just the water from the shower he could see running over John Paul's cheeks, just as he knew the warmth on his own face was caused by the heat of his tears.
They stood silently in each others embrace, listening to the sound of the shower and the beating of their hearts and tried to make the moment last as long as it could but they knew that all too soon they would have to let go.
John Paul's mouth searched for Craig's with urgency, with a desperate need to be as close as possible to him again, to taste him, to caress him and to make love to him while they still had time. Craig's lips parted at the insistence of John Paul's tongue and their bodies pressed tightly together under the steady flow of water.
Craig filled his palm with shower gel and smoothed it over John Paul's chest, the gel quickly turning to a soft foam against his damp skin as Craig spread it further over John Paul's body, feeling it respond to his touch as his hands moved over John Paul's thighs and eased the soap over the growing firmness of his cock.
Taking hold of John Paul's shoulders he turned the man from him before pouring more gel into his hand and soaping gently over his back, down towards his buttocks and then between them, pressing lightly at the opening hidden there until it allowed him access to the accompanying sigh from John Paul's lips.
"It's gonna be so long till we can be like this again," Craig whispered into John Paul's ear as he kissed it gently.
"Then we'd better make the most of it," John Paul replied as he turned back to face his lover, pulling the man close to him, sharing the soap that covered his body and smiling as he felt the hardness of Craig pushing against his belly. "Show me how much you love me one more time before I have to go."
Their mouths collided with a passion as they held on for all they were worth.
Craig took John Paul's cock in his hand and held it against his own; his palm was still slick with soap as it pressed them together moving slowly over their lengths as their tongues danced together in the heat of their mouths.
The intensity of their need increased rapidly as Craig continued to massage their cocks together until their hearts raced and their breaths came in short heavy gasps.
"I love you so much Craig Dean," John Paul said breathlessly, "I want you… I need you…"
"I'm yours John Paul… forever…"
John Paul could feel the smoothness of the bathroom tiles against his back as Craig pressed hard against him in a desperate attempt to get closer to his love but it still wasn't close enough.
"Make love to me Craig, I need to feel you… I need you inside me…"
Craig released his hold on John Paul's cock as the man turned from him and placed his hands against the cool damp tiles.
Running his hands over John Paul's back Craig could feel the man's body shake in anticipation at his touch. He wanted to make the moment last forever, for a lifetime, but forever had to wait and their lifetime together hadn't begun yet.
John Paul moaned softly as he felt the head of Craig's cock pushing against him until his body opened up and welcomed him deep inside, filling him with such pleasure and intensity that he felt himself complete.
Craig pressed his mouth into the curve of John Paul's neck as his cock sank deeper into the heat of his flesh, gripping him, caressing him and wanting him like nothing and no one had ever done before.
He moved slowly at first, savouring the feeling of John Paul's body tight around every inch of his cock but his need and desire were so great that it wasn't long before he began to thrust harder and deeper, moaning loudly into John Paul's neck as his body revelled in the intense physical pleasure he felt.
John Paul closed his eyes and rested his forehead against his folded arms as he gave himself over completely to Craig. The feeling of Craig deep inside him, moving with a fevered passion was so extreme that when his cock hit that perfect spot John Paul couldn't hold back the cries of delight urging Craig to go faster, harder and deeper, to bring them both to the satisfaction that they craved.
Craig gripped hard onto John Paul's cock, he could tell by the desperate sounds in John Paul's throat that he was close to coming and Craig's firm strokes along his cock brought that release to its screaming conclusion.
John Paul could hear his voice calling out Craig's name but it seemed so far removed from him as his body trembled with the power of his climax ripping through his flesh as Craig's cock continued to drive deeply into him until he felt he could hardly cope with how amazing he felt.
"I love you," Craig breathed into John Paul's ear as he thrust into the shuddering flesh of the man's body, hard and fast until he could resist no longer and he allowed the release of his orgasm to flow through him as he came buried deep inside his one true love.
They leant panting against the wall for some time as the warm water of the shower continued to wash over them until they had the strength in their legs to stand upright again.
"Will it be like this back in Chester?" John Paul asked quietly.
"Well we might have to get out of the shower some time," Craig joked.
"But US… will things be… when we're back home…" John Paul struggled to put words to his concerns. In Dublin everything was always so easy and being together had never been a problem, but could Craig promise the same when they got back home?
"I love you John Paul," Craig said seriously holding the man's face in his hands, "And I don't care who knows it… hell I want them all to know it… maybe I should take out an ad!"
John Paul couldn't help but laugh. "I think that might be going a bit far," he said with a grin.
"Oh I don't know – I can see it now "Craig Dean would like to announce his love for John Paul McQueen"… it has a nice sound to it."
"Your mother would have a fit!"
"I don't care," Craig said with a serious look returning to his face, "All I care about is you… you and me… I don't need anything else."
---
"I don't get it!" John Paul looked at his case with a frown. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't make the zip close those last few inches. "It all fit OK on my way here."
"Yes," Craig said slowly as he unzipped the case and looked at the mass of clothes crammed inside. "But it WAS all neatly folded then!"
John Paul sighed and looked at Craig with pleading eyes. Craig laughed and pulled out a familiar green and yellow striped hooded top. With that one item of clothing removed Craig finally managed to force the case closed and he slapped his hand on its top in triumph.
John Paul looked at the jumper that had been removed and left on the bed. "And what about that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Craig picked up the top and held it to his face. The could smell the fragrance of John Paul's aftershave mingled delightfully with the scent of the man's skin and he breathed deeply for a second.
"I'll look after it for you," he said with a smile, "I'll bring it back when I come home."
John Paul felt a lump in his throat. When Craig came home, it still seemed like an impossible dream but each passing day was bringing that dream ever closer.
"Make sure you do," John Paul said with a forced cheeriness, "I like that top!"
"I'll guard it with my life!"
"You maybe don't need to go that far… just try and not leave it behind!"
Adam stood in the hallway as John Paul left the bedroom with his overstuffed case.
"Time to go?" he asked. John Paul just nodded sadly.
"We're gonna miss you around here," Adam said holding out his hand to John Paul.
John Paul looked at the man's hand for a second. Adam, the man who had once tried to cause trouble by saying he'd slept with Craig, the man who had confessed his love for the dark haired Dean and the man who John Paul now had to leave his boyfriend with. He took a hold of Adam's hand and used it to pull the man into his arms.
"You look after him for me," he said into Adam's hair.
"I will… I promise… and all that other stuff… I wouldn't… HE wouldn't…"
"I know… just take care of him… he's no good on his own."
Two men who shared a common love for the brown eyed man in their lives hugged tightly and John Paul realised that this could be the very last time he ever saw this green eyed mystery. He didn't expect to travel to Ireland again and, once Craig came home, there would be no reason for him to return either. He felt a pang of regret that Adam could soon just become a distant memory, under different circumstances, in another life he knew he could have found a great friendship in that man.
"Look after yourself John Paul, it's been good getting to know you. You and Craig, you're so right together, I'm glad I got to see that… I hope I can be that lucky one day."
Adam squeezed John Paul one last time and then walked back into the living room to leave the two lovers to their goodbyes.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come to the airport with you?" Craig asked as he ran his hand over John Paul's arm.
John Paul shook his head. "Airport goodbyes are too hard, it's better here…"
Craig looked at his watch, the taxi was due any second but it was too soon, it was always too soon, there was still so much more he wanted to say and no time left to say it.
"John Paul I…" Craig paused, lost for words as he gazed into the vastness of John Paul's deep blue eyes.
"I know," John Paul said touching a soft kiss to Craig's cheek, "I always know…"
The sound of a car horn made them both turn to the doorway. It was time.
With his case thrown into the boot of the taxi there was nothing left for John Paul to do but get into the car and leave.
He hesitated with his hand on the door handle; torn between the longing to stay and the logic that told him he had to go.
"Tell me one more time," he whispered with his eyes fixed on the whiteness of his knuckles as they gripped onto the handle.
Craig touched his finger to John Paul's chin and lifted the man's gaze to his own.
"I love you," he said simply, "And next time we're together… it's gonna be for keeps."
John Paul blinked away a tear as he kissed Craig one last time before getting into the car.
Craig stood on the kerb as the car sped away and felt his heart break, just a little bit, as the man he loved was taken from him again.
"Next time is for keeps," he repeated to himself as he walked slowly back inside the flat that suddenly felt a lot colder.
---
John Paul's room seemed so much smaller than he remembered but in reality nothing had changed. He took the framed photograph from beside his bed and held it to his chest. His thumb ran over the engraving on the back, he didn't need to see the words, he had read them so often they were burned into his mind "Because I've always loved you". It felt like a lifetime had passed since Craig had returned to him with that picture and, as he lay back on the bed with the framed photograph held tightly against him, he could hardly wait for his next lifetime to begin, the one with Craig, the one with Craig and him together, always.
Craig looked around his room and was surprised at its emptiness. He was so used to seeing some of John Paul's possessions scattered around that without them he felt lost. He smiled at the yellow and green striped top that lay on his pillow. He climbed onto the bed and held the top to his face breathing in deeply the scent he knew so well. Not being with John Paul was going to hurt so badly but he knew it would be worth the pain in the end. He knew he could make the sacrifice if the prize at the end of the struggle was to be with John Paul again. To be with him and never have a reason to leave, for the rest of his life.