Dear Kuzao,

As you know, I've been working with your fellow councilor, Iko in order to get control over my anger issues. You might be wondering why I'm writing you this letter. Well, this is part of my efforts to change. I'm making a list of all those I've wronged and am trying to make amends where possible.

As the head of our council, I'm writing just this one letter and you can share it with all the council members. It would take to long to copy out all of my …misdeeds to all of you over and over again. So don't ask.

First of all, I'm sorry for being born with the demon Shukaku. But since it was not my fault, and you are all culpable anyway. You should be apologizing to me!

I'm sorry for blaming you for my troubles with Shukaku. Wait, no I'm not.

Okay, so what am I sorry for?

I'm sorry you were stupid enough to agree with my father's decision about infusing me with the sand demon before I was ever born.

Okay, so this isn't going like it's supposed to. I'm sorry for that. Stupid anger problems.

Fine. Here's the real list:

1. I'm sorry for the sand storm last year that destroyed the west side. But it sure was pretty wasn't it?

2. I'm sorry for killing and maiming many sand villagers over the years. Please don't make me list them all. I don't think I can. Too many, and for some of them I was too young to get their names.

o.o.o.o.o

342. I'm sorry for watching you all as you slept with my 'sand eye' jutsu. By the way, some of you are a bit freaky. Kuzao, does your wife know where you go before you go home each night? And I want extra credit for not stooping to blackmail.

343. I'm sorry for killing council member Ano's second son. He was a jerk anyway and not good enough for Temari. Does it help that she cried over him?

344. I'm also sorry for killing Ano's cousin, what was his name? I know you never found the body and thought he went 'missing nin' and all. I can show you where I stashed his body if it helps though.

o.o.o.o.o

902. I'm sorry for fondling Ano's granddaughter's best friend with my sand. She didn't complain, why should you? I may need to write her a letter too, can you give me her name?

903. I'm sorry for destroying the greenhouse when I was seven. The bee sting destroyed my control, it was the first time I'd ever been hurt.. It was a long time ago anyway.

o.o.o.o.o

2,111. I'm sorry for clogging the public pool with sand, but everyone was being mean to me.

2,112. I'm sorry for pulling Kankuro's pants down at his formal. I shouldn't have to apologize for this one since I put it in HIS letter. But I thought I owed you all a special apology since I didn't know he was 'commando'.

2,113. I'm sorry that Ano's niece fainted at the sight of Kankuro at the formal. Again, I reiterate, I pulled his pants down. The fact he was bare underneath IS NOT MY FAULT!

o.o.o.o.o

4,922. I'm sorry for chasing all the girls out of the bath house nude with my 'sand creature' sculpture. I was bored. And I saw council elder Toki didn't look that upset, in fact I think he looked happy before he passed out from the nose bleed.

4,923. I'm sorry that I replaced all of the sugar in the council members houses with sand. I'm sure it didn't make the coffee taste good. But you'd just agreed with my father to try and assassinate me again. I was pissed. In fact, anything I did in retaliation for assassination attempts should be exempt.

o.o.o.o.o

7,541. I'm sorry for having my sand push the dog shit in front of Ano's foot as he was walking down the street that one time. I wasn't pissed then, just bored again. And it was funny.

7,542. I'm sorry for the senseless destruction of the council room after you all voted for …wait, we decided these were exempt right? Moving on.

o.o.o.o.o

9,187. I'm sorry that I kept a secret from you Kuzao. Do I have to tell the secret? Shit, probably. You know your eldest granddaughter? And how she never told you the father of her child? No, don't panic, it's not me. But you might want to talk with my brother. Maybe Baki too. And Ano's nephew. And Toki's youngest. And Baki's cousin on his mother's side. And, well, there's a few more but I don't know all of them. Did you know she's a screamer? I have had a lot of fun watching her bedroom window for many years now, it's a well used window.

9,188. I'm sorry I spied on your granddaughter. But she knew I was there and even gave me tea once while I watched. I actually think she's kind of nice.

o.o.o.o.o

12,323. I'm sorry that I killed that messenger from the Village Hidden in the Snow. Not that he didn't deserve it, but that it led to war. Hey, we won right?

12,324. I'm sorry for the mysterious death of Toki's cousin's second youngest. I know you all think I killed him, but as I explained to Temari in her letter … this one I had NOTHING to do with. But I am sorry you all think I did.

Anyway, I'm sure that there's a lot more. But my hand really hurts right now and I'm stopping. Besides, as you can see, I'm running out of ink. We'll just call this letter 'Part One'. Okay?

Sincerely, Gaara of the Sand

o.o.o.o.o

Gaara winced and stretched his hand and eyed his desk. He was going to need to order a lot more paper and ink.

"Gaara?! What the fuck is this?" Kankuro shouted.

The red-haired demon vessel sighed and followed the noise to the sitting room. He saw Kankuro starring at Killer.

"It's a puppy."

"That's not a puppy! That's a hairless rat!" Kankuro threw a furious look at his brother.

Gaara looked over at Killer. "The man at the shelter said he was a puppy."

"It's a Chihuahua! That's not a proper dog!"

"You didn't specify."

Kankuro groaned as the little dog starting yipping. "This is all so wrong. Why this dog, Gaara? Why this one?"

"I was looking for one that would do well in a desert climate. This one was shivering, it obviously would do better in a heated environment."

"You adopted this dog for me, because it looked cold?"

"Well, yeah."

Kankuro sat down and dropped his head into his hands. Killer walked over and sniffed the puppeteer's leg, then raised his leg and peed on him.

"EEEWWWWWWW!" Kankuro jumped up, disgusted. "Gaara, you are cleaning that up!"

Gaara smirked as he left the room. "No. It's YOUR puppy after all."

o.o.o.o.o

Thank you for reading, and as always, please REVIEW!