Gaara couldn't sleep, as per usual. His head hurt. But that was Shukaku's fault. Gaara wasn't sure, since the two didn't actually talk, but he wondered if the demon was upset he hadn't killed everyone in that ambush. It didn't matter really, what it came down to was that he couldn't sleep.

It was really early in the morning when he headed downstairs to his desk, not much past midnight. The council would be meeting in about a month to decide whether to accept Gaara into Suna, or expel him completely.

Before that, however, he still owed a letter. Gaara frowned as he got out a pen and a LOT of paper. He hoped he had enough ink to last for this letter.

o.o.o.o.o

Dear Baki,

Fuck you. It's late and my head hurts to hell and gone. But you did ask for a letter, and maybe I even owe you one. Okay, I definately owe you one. So here it is. Don't expect sunshine and roses though. This is my formal letter of apology and offer of amends. I really am trying to work on my anger issues, though few seem to take it seriously.

1. First, I'm sorry that you got stuck with the responsibility of being my sensei. I can't apologize for Kankuro or Temari though. Anything they did wrong, you have to deal with them.

2. I'm sorry I tried to kill you the first day you were made our sensei. It wasn't a real attempt actually, more of a test to see how you would react. Hey, you passed!

3. I'm sorry that I got angry with you for not dying that first day.

4. Which leads me to apologizing for trying to kill you on your second day on the job. This one was a real attempt though since you pissed me off by not dying on the first day.

5. I apologize for not being able to remember each and every time I tried to kill you. There are waaay to many to count, so let's make a deal. I'll give you an apology for each time I meant to try and kill you, and I'll give one big blanket apology for all the half-hearted attempts. Otherwise this letter would reach all the way to the Leaf village and back again.

o.o.o.o.o

327. I apologize for putting glue in your boots that one time. It was Kankuro's idea, but he chickened out. It was awfully funny watching you try and get your boots off though.

328. I apologize that you had to cut the boots off your feet.

329. I apologize that the nurses were laughing at you as they cut the boots off your feet. I don't apologize for the smell though, that was all you, Baki.

o.o.o.o.o

599. I'm sorry that I got really, really, REALLY upset after the Creep (read: Dad) tried to kill me again while I was training near the greenhouse.

600. I can't apologize for the fact that you were the first person I saw after that attempt near the greenhouse. I am very sorry that I took my fury out on you just because you were the first one I saw. But, really, it wasn't personal. I'd have tried to kill anyone at that point. It's a testament to your strength that you managed to survive. Oh, and that was the first time I saw you use your Wind Sword.

601. I'm sorry I made fun of your Wind Sword technique. Actually, I thought it pretty cool.

602. I apologize for destroying the greenhouse with my sand manipulation. I liked the sound of all the glass breaking.

603. I am very sorry, though, that I had the sand combine with the broken glass from the greenhouse when I put you in the Desert Coffin technique.

604. I'm sorry that the glass …I mean that I'm sorry you lost your eye. It was the left one though. And you're right handed. So …no, that doesn't work. I'm sorry.

605. I apologize for making fun of the 'mask' you wear over the left side of your face. I called it a veil. But come on, it really looks like a ladies veil doesn't it?

o.o.o.o.o

1,014. I'm sorry that I put those scorpions in your bed. They were cool looking though, weren't they?

1,015. I'm sorry that the scorpions stung you.

1,016. I'm sorry your mouth swelled up from the scorpion stings so you couldn't eat for a week. Hey, the nurses made you milk shakes. They wouldn't give me one.

1,017. I'm sorry I killed the nurse who wouldn't give me a milk shake. You remember? The one with the mole on the side of her nose. Ick!

1,018. I apologize for putting sand in your milk shakes.

o.o.o.o.o

1,470. I'm sorry for trying to kill you that one time after the battle with the bandits from the eastern border. I was mad you didn't want to let me kill them all. Kankuro saved your life by distracting me, he threw the last prisoners to me. He really can be a nice guy every once in a while. Don't tell him I wrote that.

1,471. I'm sorry I killed them all even though you ordered me not too.

1,472. I'm sorry the Creep (you-know-who) yelled at you after that battle.

1,473. I'm sorry I was happy the Creep (ugh!) yelled at you.

1,474. I'm sorry I was mad at the Creep (jerk-face) for not letting me kill you for him.

o.o.o.o.o

1,927. I'm sorry that I tried to kill Temari that time after she got mad about the death of her fourth boyfriend. But I really had NOTHING to do with his death. Pure coincidence that he died in a freak sandstorm. I would have killed him, but he died before I could get to him.

1,928. I apologize for letting you bribe me with crème filled donuts in order to keep me from killing Temari. Looking back on it though, was it really that great a deal? I mean, Temari has been around much longer than those donuts lasted.

o.o.o.o.o

2,371. I'm sorry that I put your name and picture in the classifieds. Although, Kankuro and Temari took an awful lot of pleasure from that prank as well.

2,372. I'm sorry that I said you wanted a 'male snuggle bunny' of 'rolly polly proportions' in your classified ad. Okay, I'll admit I'm having trouble really being sorry for this one. It still cracks me up.

2,373. Ok. This one is serious. I'm sorry I killed your cousin that time he was visiting. I thought he was answering the classified ad and it freaked me out to see you hug him. But hey, he LOOKED like the description in the ad? Can you REALLY blame me for this one?

o.o.o.o.o

2,688. I'm sorry for the quicksand trap I set up for you while you were sick with the flu. It's bad to take advantage of a sick man. I want to say I was angry over something, but basically it was just to see if it would work.

2,689. I'm sorry you sunk in the quicksand trap. Seriously though, what kind of sensei lets himself get caught like that? Luckily for you Kankuro came by and could use his chakra strings to help you get out.

2,690. I'm sorry I tried to kill Kankuro for rescuing you. I broke his puppets for that.

2,691. I'm sorry that I was making him eat the broken pieces of his puppet when you finally stopped me. Luckily I hadn't gotten to the poison tipped parts yet.

2,692. I'm sorry that you had to buy me donuts to get me to stop. I'm not sorry that I ate all the donuts in front of Kankuro and didn't let him have any of them. He shouldn't have interfered.

o.o.o.o.o

2,940. I'm sorry about the living sand sculpture of a dragon that I used to scare your lady friend with. Though, it was a pretty cool sculpture. The wings flapped and everything. Couldn't make real flames come out of its mouth though. Still working on that. If Kankuro wouldn't gloat so much, I'd ask him to come up with something for me.

2,941. I'm sorry I drugged you that one night. It was just to make you sleep really soundly.

2,942. I'm sorry that I knocked out those two prostitutes. They were really ugly, remember?

2,943. I'm sorry I put the two prostitutes in your bed.

2,944. I apologize deeply for sounding the fire alarm and having you found with those two prostitutes.

2,945. I'm deeply ashamed of myself that the two prostitutes were guys. At least, I think one of them definitely was. Still not sure about the second one. I'm sorry.

o.o.o.o.o

3,747. I'm sorry I put maggots in your rice. I was miffed at you, because I thought you liked my siblings better than me. I would have tried to kill you, but the Creep (fuck-face) had told me that if I laid off trying to kill you, he'd lay off trying to kill me. He lied. But I liked you better than him, so …I needed a less lethal way to show you how angry I was with you.

Yep. I said I liked you. But that's in comparison to the Creep (toe-rag), so it's not really saying all that much.

Anyway. I'm sure I missed a few items. I'm sorry for them all, the ones I remember and the ones I don't. So. Sorry.

This is the part where I offer amends. Except that you said that for 'amends' you just wanted this letter. Fair enough. Here it is.

Sincerely,

Gaara of the Sand

o.o.o.o.o

The sun was well up by the time Gaara finished his missive to Baki. His hand was aching, but somehow he felt lighter. Maybe writing all this stuff down really was a way to clear out all the mess in his life?

"Gaara!" The voice of the council elder, Iko, interrupted his thoughts.

"In here." He called, rolling his neck and shoulders which ached from writing most of the night.

"Gaara." Iko was panting, apparently the old man had run here. "There's an army outside of Suna."

"I'll be there. Wake Temari and Kankuro." Gaara said darkly as he stood.

"No!" Iko coughed and cleared his throat. "It's not an attack. It's an extradition demand."

Gaara stared at him coolly. "Well?"

"Yours." Iko said sadly. "The council is meeting on whether or not to turn you over."

Gaara growled. "Let me guess, more of the Leaf villagers right?"

Iko shook his head. "No. It's Orochimaru."

o.o.o.o.o

Another Monday. Hope this chapter helps relieve a Monday. Then again, that may be asking too much for any fanfiction! LOL

As always: Review please!