Hey campers,

Sorry for the long delay.I know lots of you want some kick butt action. Be patient it is coming, but foremost this is a never-ending love story with tons of emotion and depth between Sam and Jack. So pull out the tissues and as always, I appreciate your ongoing reviews, no matter what. -- HailDorothy

PS: Sorry for the flashback but I needed to revise. The price we pay when writing by the seat of our pants.

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CHAPTER ELEVEN

Two years prior: Jack's Cabin

Hugging his knees to his chest, Jack sat on the dock alone. He'd felt the weight of darkness settle over him the last few days. He fought it with every ounce of will he had, but sometime that wasn't enough. It grew stronger shattering him at the most crucial times. At such black moments he pondered The Keeper of the Star's existence. What kind of god would allow this horrendous catastrophe? For a higher purpose my eye! How could good come out of so many unnecessary deaths and sufferings? Whose side was God on anyhow? Most of all, Jack wondered why the fate of the world had landed on his unworthy shoulders.

"Yeah, God, an answer would be nice about now?"

Jack waited. "Fine be a stick in the mud! But You're not the one sitting here wishing the most important decision I had to make was whether to buy another dog."

Okay, so he had made many life-altering decisions in his military career. Who lived? Who died? But the most difficult calls had come these past months. Besides what affected his family, there were choices he wasn't proud about and that eroded his soul. But with no president, speaker of the house, or chiefs of staff to make those judgment calls, they'd fallen on his shoulders. Truth was, his shoulders weren't holding up too well. He thought about the men, women, and children who made into Safe Haven and how many hadn't, eventually because there weren't enough provisions to harbor the thousands of people.

"For the greater cause," Hammond told Jack before the brave man gave up his life, "I've had to make decisions that cost lives, Jack, including yours. And now you will do the same because you are chosen." Chosen my eye!

Heck, until this last year there'd been no off-world sites to send anyone. Even if the Alpha site had survived, there was no means of communication. How many had died outside the force field because of him? The decaying bodies left by the Replicators spoke volumes. And those swept up by the Wraith, Jack couldn't fathom.

Being responsible for so many lost lives made the time SG-1 had been stuck in that time dilation field for fifty years seem like a cakewalk. Swearing, Jack scrubbed his hands over his face and into his hair. The guilt wouldn't leave and with it came the black depression that threatened his sanity. He couldn't afford to fall into that abyss again. The last time it happened he'd been incapacitated. Two weeks of being zoned out. He'd not responded to anything external, not even the sound or touch of his children. That's when Jack found out he was not alone—in his head. He recalled the knock on the door to his gray matter.

"O'Neill?"

"Thor, old buddy, whatcha doing here?" Jack glanced around the yard and the dismal gray spring day. No Thor. Not that he'd expected to see the very dead Asgard. "No! Wait! Don't answer that. I've gone off the deep end—again. Unhinged, nuts, crazy, three-fries short of a happy meal." He hoped no one was witness to his one-sided conversation.

"You are not a happy meal, Jack. You're experiencing delayed posttraumatic stress syndrome. As for me, I transferred into your mind within seconds of taking my last breath aboard the O'Neill III. It was the only way I could survive without Fifth attaching to me. I've been hiding deep in your subconscious."

"How deep?"

"Well, one could get easily lost in here."

"Was that sarcasm?"

"Yes."

"Now that I understand." He smiled. "So how do we get you out of my head?"

"We do not."

"Excuse me?" Jack gulped. After having a snake in his head more than once, he wasn't into sharing his already messed up head or life.

"Unless there is an Asgard clone-vessel I've no place to go, O'Neill."

"Wait. We could download you into the O'Neill's III's computer. Ya know, like you did on Anubis' ship."

"It is not that easy, Jack. The O'Neill was not designed with the advanced Asgard technology."

"Yeah, about that---,"

"Later, O'Neill. I must rest."

"Hey!" Jack called out. "You started this tête-à-tête."

"I did. I am also weak and must regain my strength before we can continue. But while I rest I concentrate, evaluate and think of how to change these bleak matters for the better."

"Fine. You think, you evaluate . . . Hey, can you read my mind, know my thoughts?"

"I cannot, Jack. I am consciousness without a home. I will not trouble you. Before I sleep, I want to share my sorrow over the loss of Samantha."

"Thanks." Jack sniffed a nose full and batted a maverick tear.

"Sam is not dead. For the sake of your family and the galaxy you must find her, Jack."

"I will, little buddy."

"And Jack?"

"What?"

"The Star Keeper chose you for such a time as this. You must pull free from this dark pit you've escaped into. Earth needs you, as does your family. You, Jonathon James O'Neill, are chosen."

"Yeah, right." He snickered with an eye roll.

"Furthermore, it is impossible for shoulders to be incompetent and—."

"Oh fercryin'outloud!"

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

J.A.C.O.B. SGC-2

Present Time: Ten days after the Jack and Kerry misunderstanding.

"General O'Neill?" McKay asked formally.

That got Jack's attention. Since the invasion things had turned informal with the Canadian, Carter-obsessed scientist. Yeah, a lot of walls had tumbled. Not that Jack would ever verbally confirm he liked Rodney and he'd bet his eyeteeth he'd never hear the same from McKay. They had a mutual love-annoyance relationship. Jack wondered how Sheppard managed to not ring the self-centered man's neck all these years.And now Jack was slightly suspicious about why he wasn't just plain old, Jack to Rodney.

"Err um," McKay cleared his throat.

"Whatcha want, Doctor McKay?" Jack arched a brow at the man.

Rodney flinched. "I was wondering if you re-thought my suggestion about Colonel Carter?"

"Answer's still no." Jack turned on a dime toward his office. Yep, he had an office--with a door. "And don't ask again."

"But she knows more about black holes than anyone alive and—"

"Nah aah," Jack wagged a finger.

"Sir, Rodney's right." Joanne Smith nodded in agreement with her brother.

"Kids, until you complete that little toy that'll let us know if she's bugged, I can't allow her down here."

"You still think she's compromised?" Daniel ambled into the laboratory.

"Any proof she's not?" Jack countered.

"Why not let Thor poke around her genius head?" Daniel suggested, receiving nods from the other scientists.

Jack stiffened. "It doesn't work that way, Daniel. You know that. Bad enough he's stuck in my noggin and it took me half a year to realize it."

"Just like the time you had Joe Spencer in your head for seven years and never noticed or told anyone."

"I noticed." Jack defended as he shoved his rolled blue BDU's sleeves further up both arms.

"Oh, yeah your response was that you found it quite refreshing and relaxing," Daniel added with a snort.

"Hey, it was relaxing. Like watching a classic movie."

"For seven years," Daniel scoffed.

"Careful." Jack warned then shoved Daniel's glasses up his nose a bit harder than needed.

"Ouch!" Daniel yanked his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his bruised nose.

"Oh, wow! That's so . . ." A tight smirk crept across McKay's mouth as he snorted.

"What?" Jack glowered, his patience on a short rope.

"Um nothing." Rodney cleared his throat and took a few steps back, but continued to leer.

"And Daniel . . ." Jack sent a glint at his son-in-law.

"Um, what, Jack?"

"At least I didn't have Osiris sifting my brain for weeks through a stupid erotic dream before I got it." He made quote marks with his fingers.

Rodney and Jeannie turned together and grinned at Daniel.

"Hey, it wasn't erotic! I mean she and I were--" Daniel waved his book like a shield.

His hands jammed in his front pockets, Jack rocked on his heels and delivered his densest look. "Pray do tell?"

"Yeah, I'd love to hear this one." Rodney chimed. "Bet Cassandra would too."

"Well you won't. And hah, hah, Cass knows everything. Still, I'm glad all those mission reports got blown up in the invasion."

"Bet you are." Jeannie giggled.

"Oh, he is." Jack waggled his brows, deciding not to reveal all mission reports had been duplicated and sent to this base three years ago. "Then there was that romantic incident with Hathor--."

"Shut up, Jack!"

"Excuse me?" Jack took a threatening step toward him.

"Point taken." Daniel held up a finger of defeat then switched gears. "I assume Thor's still latent in there." He pointed to Jack's head.

"Yeah, thanks to small miracles. He gets vocal now and then, but I sense him banging around. Almost as bad as a Goa'uld." Jack tapped his brow. "I'll do the jig when you guys get him his own closet space."

"Poor Thor. Stuck in Jack's head. I'm sure he's bored out of his Asgard skull." Rodney snickered.

"Well, I offered to transfer him to you, McKay, apparently he's claustrophobic and allergic to egomaniacs." Jack did a mental high five.

"Ouch!" Daniel winced.

Jeannie laughed then cleared her throat when Rodney elbowed her.

"The point is," Jack reiterated with his CO attitude. "Carter's to know nothing until I deem fit. And even once we do have a go on Plan A, she's not to know the truth. I can't risk the lives of this base and planet because my wife might be a fricking bug."

"And if she is a bug?" Rodney asked.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Well that's stupid . . ." Daniel muttered.

Jack glared.

"Did I just say that?" Daniel winced.

Another glint from Jack. "Let me emphasis there will be no stupid heroics from any of you. I have no qualms to shoot the first one who disobeys my orders. That includes you, Daniel. Is that clear?"

Three heads nodded. Jack walked off, snapping a folder against his leg.

"Wow!" Rodney exclaimed. "He's like Jekyll and Hyde."

"Hey, give the man some latitude," Daniel stated. "He's got the world on his shoulders."

"He just threatened to blow you away," Rodney emphasized branished his pistol then put it back in his desk drawer.

"Naw, he's been threatening me for over twenty years—actually he did a few times—shoot me." Daniel gulped with those memories. "With good reason," he added.

"Well, as right as the General is, Rodney's also right, Jack's burning out." Jeannie commented with a worried look. "I can't imagine the compounded stress he's under now that Colonel Carter's back."

"Oh, I've some idea." Daniel dropped onto a stool and scrubbed his weary face. "What you just witnessed is Jack overcompensating for emotional baggage."

"Then you think Sam's a rep too?" Rodney asked revealing his suspicion.

"Doesn't matter what I or you think." Daniel sighed. "But if you think she's the enemy how come you asked Jack to let her in on Plan A?"

Arms akimbo, his sister turned a suspicious eye on her older brother. "Yeah, what's up with you?"

"Just testing him, is all. I needed to make sure he wasn't caving in and believing she's our Carter. Even if she's real she could be boobee-trapped."

"I think Jack made it pretty clear. We can't take chances. We need to pull this off without Sam." He met Rodney's furrowed brow. "Now what?"

"He's serious about using Atlantis."

"Yeah, dead serious. So get used to it. Even Sheppard and Weir are onboard."

"Barely." Rodney snorted. "The city's the largest vessel we've got. If we fail we'll never recover and have no way to evacuate the thousands of people that city is capable of transporting."

Jeannie shook her head. "And how far would we get, Rodney? We need another year or more to correct the hull damage, let alone half the city is uninhabitable."

"Listen to your sister, Rodney," Daniel advised with the hint of smile. "None of us want to do this, but Atlantis is our last chance at freedom."

McKay shut his laptop then huffed a sigh of supercilious. "Our last chance got flushed down the crapper the day O'Neill let this Sam enter Safe Haven."

"Excuse me," Daniel looked at Rodney with wide blue eyes, realizing Rodney had adopted some of Jack's idiosyncrasies.

"I'm saying if Sam is a Replicator which I highly suspect, Jack's too in love to do the right thing. That means one of us will have to step up to the plate."

"You're wrong!" Daniel argued, his defense for Jack and Sam ringing through. "Jack won't let feelings interfere with what's best for the world, even if he has to take out Sam." Daniel closed his eyes and blew out his mouth at the horrible notion.

"Well this genius is rarely wrong, Jackson. But for everyone sake, I hope I'm dead wrong. If not, we're so screwed."

End of Chapter Eleven

More to come. . ..