Never Say Never Chapter Thirteen

"I've got it!" Rodney declared with a smug smile as he danced into the conference room interrupting a meeting that included Daniel and Elizabeth Sheppard. His smile faltered as his gaze locked on the General sitting at the head of the table.

An eight-year-old child propped on his lap, Harry Maybourne scowled at McKay's ecstatic entrance and bellowed, "Whatever you've got will have to wait. Now leave. This is a private meeting, Doctor McKay." Harry made a shooing motion with his hands. Holding a toy ball, the child kissed Harry's cheek, scrabbled off his lap and rushed for the door, but not before kicking Rodney in the shines.

"Ow!" Rodney whined. "You've got a bunch of spoiled brats, Harry!"

"It's General Maybourne to you, Doctor." Harry stood and glared across the room.

"Oh, give it up already. Unlike Jack, I don't forgive or forget so easily. You're a paper solider, Harry. And you're also part of the reason this world has gone to the Wraith and Replicators in a handbag."

"That's it!"

Ready to do battle, both men rounded the table toward each other. Instinctively, Daniel and Elizabeth shot to their feet to intervene.

"Now guys." Daniel glanced from one man to the other.

Harry and Rodney glared at the other but thankfully backed off.

"Thank you," Elizabeth said exhaling a breath and sitting down.

Taking his chair, Daniel wished the week of Sha'rutt over with. Unlike Jack and Sam, he and Cassandra had bonded for days and were now able to function normally, well, except at night. The flicker of a smile tugged his lips.

It'd be three more nights before Jack resumed his post. And by the exasperated expression on Elizabeth's face she felt the same. A week of Maybourne cracking the whip was bad enough, but add ego maniac McKay and it was a recipe for disaster. Not that Jack would ever place someone incapable in a command position.

Though his selfish nature was not entirely gone, Harry had come full circle with his life. Apparently having three wives and a dozen children the reason. As Jack's 2IC Harry was level headed and made rational decisions. Just that when McKay ruffled Harry's feathers or visa versa it wasn't pretty. Daniel would be talking to Jack ASAP about the matter.

"I insist talking to Jack."

"General O'Neill's on downtime," Harry stated before Daniel could speak up. "So whatever you've got can wait or tell me."

"I'm not telling you anything, Maybourne. Is this coffee fresh?" he asked Elizabeth as he grabbed the pot and poured a cup.

She nodded and rolled her eyes. "Look Rodney, General O'Neill can't be disturbed right now."

Rodney sipped from his cup. "I'm not Ancient physiology blind, Elizabeth. I understand the rite of Sha'rutt. I know that with Sam's return they are shacked up doing the nasty."

Three sets of eyes stared at him.

"I mean, well, um," he cleared his voice. "Look, it's important that General O'Neill knows I've determine how to detect whether or not Colonel Carter's got a Replicator bug in her head. I made some alterations to the Za'tarc program."

"Well, why didn't tell me that in the first place?" Harry shot to his feet.

"Does loathing your guts count?"

00000

It's All Coming Back To Me Now . . .

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

00000

Locked in a spooning embrace, every inch of his body connected with hers, Jack watched his love-sated wife sleep. Unconsciously, he inhaled the musky perfume of their spent passion. It saturated everything in their dimly-lit bedroom. Jack sniffed her hair. Wow! John-John restlessly stirred. Down, old man. Give her time. A crocked smirk deepened as he brushed a kiss across her naked shoulder, contemplating the array of golden freckles on her shapely body that were for his eyes only. Jack tightened his arm beneath her firm round breasts. Sam murmured and pressed her derriere against his alert groin. Counting to ten, Jack held his breath until her breathing returned to normal. Exhaling through his mouth, he shut his tired eyes.

They'd indulged hours of ceaseless lovemaking before they'd literally collapsed in each other arms two hours ago. Even Ancients couldn't go on forever, he mused. His fever and want for her had eased a bit. The calm before the storm. Still Jack physically ached to be joined with her. Who needed Viagra, he snorted. For now he would restrain his need and let her rest. For when night once more fell they'd start over. If there was any consolation to the Ancient rite of Sha'rutt, it was that this time they'd avoided each other for five days before caving. He wondered if they'd broken a record. According to Daniel's research bonded couples rarely avoided Sha'rutt, and to do so for prolonged periods could cause a stroke or heart-attack in one or both mates. Ah, the ups and downs of being Ancient, he smirked.

Tired as he was Jack couldn't sleep. Since Sam's arrival he'd shoved his previous concerns and nightmares of the horrors she'd endured as Fifth's prisoner from his mind. He knew if he'd dwelt in that darkness he'd forfeit his objective edge. With forty years in the military Jack had learned to compartmentalize issues—put them in a mental box and toss the key, until and if, he chose to redress the matter.

During his Black Ops days that learned-mindset had saved his life countless times, but had also hurt his marriage to Sara. When Charlie died, he'd resorted to the habit of convenience and packed his heart into another sealed box. Not until Samantha entered his life did he realize he was an emotional basket case. She'd made him confront his demons and find a reason to feel again—to love.

Since her return and unknown to her, Jack had spent most nights sitting in the winged-back chair watching her sleep. Most every night, Sam's demons showed up. However, if she remembered those dreams she'd yet to tell him or anyone else. Fearing he'd do more harm than good, Jack had fought the urge to mind-meld with her. To be honest he didn't know if he could handle what he would no doubt find if he did. Fear was a powerful tool.

Having experienced first hand the atrocities Fifth and his kind had committed, he could only imagine how much worse it had been for Sam. The fact that Fifth lusted after her in his warped way had given Jack years of nightmares that no one, even Daniel knew about. How did one explain that every night you saw your wife being brutally raped by thousands of mini-robots disguised in human form, disguised as yourself.

Beside him, Sam began to thrash about and flipped over facing him, tears streamed her pale cheeks. Still asleep, she cried out. "No! Please, Fifth, stop—not again!"

Jack broke! Tears sluiced down his face. Holding Sam, he spoke, then sang comfortingly to her,

"Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door
I saw you smile and my mind could not erase the beauty of your face

Just for a while won't you let me shelter you
"Hold onto the night
Hold on to the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
and I could be yours

"How do we explain something that took us by surprise
Promises invade love that is real but in disguise
What happens now do we break another rule
and let our lovers play the fool
I don't know how to stop feeling this way..."

Sam clung harder and through tears called out, "Ja-ack?"

"I'm here, babe." He nuzzled her neck.

"Sing?" she whispered as she curled into him, alerting him she'd awakened from the dream.

"Sure." He swiped his palm over his wet face and continued.

"Hold onto the night
Hold onto the memories
If only I could give you something more

"Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me
and the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free
Every time I look into your eyes I'm helplessly aware
That the someone I've been searching for is right there . . .

"Hold onto the night
Hold onto the memories
I wish that I could give you more
Whoa . . .Hold onto the night."

00000

Sam was glowing. Stretching out on their bed she was surprised not to bump into at least four of their six kids. Strange how she realized Jack had gotten the six munchkins he'd stated to want all those years back at the White House Halloween ball. So long ago and so close to her heart. Twenty years seemed like yesterday.

Between love making matches, he'd explained that Teal'c had taken the kids to his house, allowing them privacy during Sha'rutt.

"Morning, beautiful." The man of her thoughts caressed her hair.

"Hey there, handsome." She smiled back nuzzling into his embrace.

"Oy, love truly is blind." He snorted.

"Ya think." She giggled ruffling his bed-head hair.

"Yeah, but just don't smell my breath."

"Was that a hint?" Sam held the sheet to her face.

Jack tugged the sheet from her face and sniffed. "Smells like roses to me." He coughed into his hand causing Sam to slug him.

"Ouch!"

"Guess I'm human." She leaned over and sniffed his breath, crinkling her nose. "And so are you."

"Funny." He huffed. "So sleep okay?" He yawned and waggled a dark brow.

"Like a rock except when a dirty old general wasn't jumping my bones."

"Wow, aren't we romantic."

"I seem to remember you liked when I talked dirty, sir."

"Glad you remember the important things, Carter." He kissed her chin.

"Carter and sir?" she sighed. "Is that special between us?"

"Yes, especially when we make love or I just plain screw you silly." He winked, that left dimple tucking deep, another reason Sam loved him.

"Ah, so we liked military games, huh?" She traced a fingertip along one dimple and then the other, extracting a groan.

"Sure did, Colonel. Sometimes, we um. . . .role played or made believe you were still a captain or major and I was a colonel and we . . .er um would break the regs on duty."

"On duty?" Sam swore he was blushing. Not often one saw a blushing Jack O'Neill. "So although we're married the regulations don't apply?"

"Nope. Haven't for years. President Hayes made special arrangements for us during his term. But since the invasion nothing's written in stone anymore."

"I see. So whom do I answer to now?"

"Me most of the time, Maybourne, when I'm off duty."

"You gotta be kidding." She bolted upright.

"Sorry, but the general pickings are slim now a days. Sheppard runs Atlantis. So after Landry got killed last year I made Harry a Brigadier General. And before you start protesting, he's been totally above board."

"Well that's a surprise." She eyed him suspiciously. "What'd you threaten him with?"

"Me threaten? Nah, never?" He avoided her inquiring look.

"Yeah, right?" She laughed. "Why am I so not believing you, sir?"

"Sir?" His hand caressed her inner right thigh and it parted for him.

"Um, whatcha doing, General?"

"Making up for lost time," he winked and dove for her lips.

The door crashed open and four laughing children ran for the bed wielding pillows.

"Incoming! Duck!" Jack yelled.

Before she could react Sam was attacked by squirming toddlers and two kids too big to be jumping on beds, but did.

"Pillow fight!" Jack sat up yanked the pillow out from under Sam's head and hit her-gently. To her delight she got slugged from every direction. Sam was finally home!

0000

Looking for Jack, Sam left the cabin and strolled the spacious yard. She spotted the vegetable garden and headed that way. He'd given her access to everything now, well all but the transporter rings and the new SGC beneath them.

Although it went against her nature Sam settled, hoping once Jack was convinced she hadn't been compromised, she'd have more liberties. Wandering passed the wooded yard and garden, she saw that trees had been cleared and acres of harvested corn expanded out before her. Several head of cattle grazed the fields eating the fallen corn cornels and flattened stalks that'd not been processed for silage. In the distance she spotted several John Deer Combine-units working the standing cornrows while two semi-trucks waited to be filled with the harvested corn.

"Wow!"

"Yeah, it's something." Cassandra came alongside her pulling off her work gloves.

"Who?"

"Dad's idea."

"Why am I not surprised?" She smiled and extended her hand to her eldest daughter.

Cassandra hesitated then accepted Sam's offering they strolled hand-in-hand.

"But I thought fossil fuel was limited."

"It is. Thanks to your previous research and development, our science teams rebuilt the farm machinery to operate with refined Naquadah generators."

Sam smiled and shook her head. "That's amazing."

"Yes it is. About twenty families live above ground, most SGC employees who alternate shifts at the facility below. Over three thousand acres of corn, wheat, hay and soybean are grown here. There's five other farms under the force field's dome. Everything else is produced below in a hydro-plant Doctor Lee manages."

"Jack told me."

Cassandra looked surprised.

"I mean about the hydro-gardening. This," she gestured around with a look of admiration. "I'd no idea. He was behind this."

"Yes well, dad's far smarter than we give him credit. He's made certain we know how to live off the land. And we have. Right now we have some conveniences but most often we go without. Winters are hard. Refuges seek us out before the first snow flies and Dad won't turn anyone away."

"No he wouldn't." Sam sighed in understanding and pride.

"Nor would you." Cass smiled at her.

"Never."

"Yet Daniel said there was a time dad did just that."

Sam halted and stared at her daughter. "I only recall once when Jack reacted that way. Although I didn't agree with him then, I understood his reason."

"Dad let someone die on purpose, I mean someone who couldn't fight back?"

"Yes." Sam recalled their mission to the planet Eurondu and the underground racist society that Alar had lead. The man was Hitler incarnated. She'd never forget when Alar had pleaded to return to Earth, promising them all the knowledge he possessed in exchange for his life. Jack ordered Sam through the gate and followed. As soon as they had stepped into the Gate Room, Jack ordered Walter to close the Iris. They knew Alar had followed them.

The Iris shut. When Alar collided with the Iris, the glacier glint in Jack's dark eyes met her stunned expression. For a painful moment they stared at each other. It'd been one of the rare times she wondered if he had a heart. Sam had turned and walked away. That traumatic incident strained their relationship for weeks.

"I find that hard to believe," said Cass.

"We all have dark sides, Cass, but you must realize your father believed he'd made the right decision."

"And did he?"

"I'd like to think so." Sam cleared her throat, wishing to end the morbid discussion.

"I know dad's had to do some horrible things and so have you, but to deliberately leave someone behind." Cass shook her brown head.

"He did it to Fifth," Sam said with a bitter voice that surprised her.

"There's no comparison, Mom. Fifth's not human, he's . . ."

"What?" Sam set a glint on her daughter's incredulous expression.

"A damned Replicator! Not to mention he and his kind are out to destroy the galaxy, Earth, and all Tau'ri. Holy Hannah, that thing abducted you for over two years!"

"You're right. I'm sorry. Can we talk about something else?" Sam shifted her weight.

"Sure." Cassandra eyed her up before directing her back toward the cabin's front yard. "Have you seen the barn and livestock? We've got goats, chickens, turkeys, some hogs, and had eighteen calves birth this spring. Most of them are heifers that we'll sell to the dairy farmers. We've also got two milking cows, a dozen horses, six of them are racers."

"Racers?" She looked up.

"Yeah, Thoroughbred race horses that we use for dispatch and to outrun the Wraith and if the time ever comes, the Replicaters."

"Why horses?"

"Like dogs and cats, horses can detect the Wraith and Replicators."

"Oh. Okay, so where's Jack?"

"Oh, well as you know he's been on downtime all week." Cass cleared her throat and looked at her feet."

"So have you and Daniel." Sam smirked at her daughter's self-awareness.

"Yes, well, we're fine now. Daniel's been on base the last few days."

"Ah." Sam smiled back.

"As for dad, well unless there's an emergency, he and the neighbors log and chop wood every Wednesday. We're expecting a hard winter."

"What about the solar energy unit I installed before . . ." she closed her eyes trying to remember.

"Oh we use it, but most of the topside families don't have that luxury. Besides, we prefer to balance with both resources. It just takes adjusting back to the woodstove and ovens in the winter. But there's something about living like this, it's simple and . . ."

"Sweet." Sam halted and looked at her daughter.

"Yeah." Cassandra blushed. "Exactly that."

"You really are your father's daughter, Cassandra Jackson."

"Guess I am. I'm also your daughter, Mom. And I missed you."

"I missed you too, sunshine." She drew Cass into her arms and hugged her.

"Did you?" Cassandra asked against her shoulder.

"What kind of question is that?" Sam pulled back offended.

"I'm just saying. It's strange that you're starting to remember your past, but not what Fifth did to you."

"I told you what I know. Fifth erased my memories and then placed false ones of how I spent the last three years. There's no way to determine what are false or real memories, except by what you guys tell me."

"I'd like you to consider the Zatarc test, Mom. It might help you—"

"No!" Sam swept her hands through the air. "I refuse to undergo that humiliating Tok'ra lie detector test again!"

"Mom? This isn't the same. It's not like we think you're a Zat'arc. And Doctor McKay made some adjustments to the Tok'ra's machine. It might help you remember what Fifth did . . ."

"No!" Sam stalked off. "I can't believe you'd even suggest such an idea."

"It wasn't my idea, Mom."

"Who's then?" Sam turned and glared at Cassandra.

"Dad's."

0000

Sam glanced at the kitchen clock and frowned. The twins had been sleeping for almost three hours this afternoon. She knew if they didn't wake up soon, they'd be a pain to get to bed tonight. Sam tiptoed into the darkened room, lifted the window shades, then walked over to their adjoining cribs. As usual, they'd come together in Janet's crib, one occupying each side of the bed. They're beautiful, she sighed, reaching down and stroking first Jacob's then Janet's hair.

Sam leaned over and traced a fingertip down Jacob's face to his neck. There was so much of Jack in this little boy, including his dimples. Something flashed in Sam's head. She saw someone's hands strangling her son and then her daughter.

Jacob's brown eyes snapped open. He looked fearfully up at her and then cried out, "Don't, Mommy!"

Janet awoke and scurried over tugging Jacob against her. The toddlers looked alarmed at Sam. She reached down to comfort them. The next moment she was flying across the room and hit the floor hard.

"Dear God, I'm sorry!" Sam scrabbled to her feet as her children clung to each other. "I'd never hurt you!" Unnerved, Sam fled into her bedroom. She laid there shaking, expecting Jack or someone to charge in and zat her. Nothing happened and sleep embraced her.

Sam awoke with a jolt. She rubbed her tear stained face, straightened her shoulders and walked back to the twin's room, hoping it'd all been a dream.

Their bedroom still dark, someone was sobbing. She opened the shades and turned around. Huddled in their playhouse the crying twins stared in fear of her.

"We want Daddy!" Jacob cried.

"He's not here, hon. But Mom is." Sam reached out to them.

"No! Go away! You're not our mommy!" Janet accused.

Shaken to the core, Sam covered her open mouth, backed out of the bedroom and dropped against the far wall. Holy Hannah! What if they were right?

End of Chapter Thirteen