I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. My muse has been going crazy this past week. While trying to write an anthropology midterm the other day, my mind kept slipping back to Tamora Pierce. Gah! Not good for a college student, but at least I'm having a good time with it.

For any of you who haven't read Persuasion, I suggest you check it out! It's an amazing read and is the most romantic book I've ever read. You'll be able to follow along in this story without having read it, but it's still worth taking a look at. For those of you who have read it, what do you think of our Henrietta (Lorraine) and Louisa (Hattie)?

And before I forget: any name ideas for Yuki's baby?

Chapter 5: Memories of Disappointment

The next hour was the most trying of Kel's life. It made her ordeal seem like a walk in the woods on a warm spring day. Her patience was giving way with every exaggerated laugh she heard from Lorraine and every wink she caught Hattie giving Dom. It was intolerable. Was this what her nieces were taught while they were away at convent school? To make matters worse, Dom seemed to not mind the attention. He talked to the girls as if they were old chums, laughed at their jokes, and dazzled them with his brilliant smile.

They weren't the only ones at the table he was dazzling. Or should we say, redazzling?

Kel had always known he made a game of his interaction with court ladies and she had witnessed it many times first hand, but it had never struck a cord so much as it did now. The worst thing was, Kel wasn't sure what she was angrier at. The fact he was making a game out of the two girls or the fact that the whole scene was actually making her jealous.

During lunch, Kel just tried to keep her eyes down on her plate and her ears trained to the conversation of her mother and Cora. Kel had never found herself so earnestly interested in flower choices until this particular moment, but anything was better than listening to Hattie's simpering voice. As hard as Kel tried, though, there was one voice she could not block out and once again she cursed her own weakness.

"How long will we have the favor of you company, Dom?"

Kel could hear the smile, for she couldn't bring herself to look up to see it for herself, in Dom's voice as he answered Arthur's question. "I'm afraid I'll have to take my leave tomorrow morning."

"Heading off to Queenscove then?" Dom must have nodded for the entire table was soon in another uproar.

"So are you related to the Queenscove's captain?" asked Cora. Kel glanced at her to see the younger woman tearing apart a piece of bread on her plate as she looked at Dom thoughtfully.

Finally chancing a glance, Kel saw Dom nod once more, smiling kindly at her niece before answering, "My mother is the Duke's sister."

Hattie was the image of bubbling excitement as she beamed at Kel and then at Dom, "Then you must also be related to Nealan of Queenscove." Obviously. Kel sighed inwardly. "He's a close friend of our aunt. Is he not Kel?"

Kel's face was politely calm as she swallowed another bite of rabbit, but she had never wanted to scowl more at anyone than she did at that moment. "It depends on your definition of close, Hatalie. If keeping Sir Nealan from getting kicked out of page training for his sharp tongue or introducing him to his wife qualifies, than yes. We are close."

To Kel's shock, Dom actually let out a hearty laugh. She almost felt sorry for Hattie as she looked slightly dejected and turned to Dom for an explanation. "Keladry had the misfortune of being a year mate with my meathead cousin." Kel had to hide a wince at the use of her full name. The last time he had called her that, the two had been on quite different terms. "As I recall, she was the only reason Lord Wyldon didn't tie his tongue in a knot and I'm still not sure how she managed to get Yukimi to agree to an introduction."

The entire table laughed and, to Kel's relief, the conversation soon turned to something else. It wasn't for another ten minutes that Kel looked up as her mother spoke to Dom directly.

"His Grace isn't at Queenscove is he, Captain?"

"No, ma'am, he's still in Corus." After a short pause, Dom raised an eyebrow at her. "You're not in need of a healer are you?"

Ilana gracefully shrugged her shoulders. "It's just that the healer in the village is a skilled midwife but not good for much else."

Resting his chin on his fist, Dom was thoughtful for a moment before responding slowly, "Neal is a fairly good healer."

"Oh, that's right! I'd forgotten." Turning to Kel on her left, Ilane smiled at her slightly. "You had been intending to visit Neal, had you not? Perhaps he could take a look at your ankle so you wouldn't be hobbling around during the wedding."

It was all Kel could do to concentrate on her glass of cider and not blush. "Well, yes, but not until after the wedding, mama." As Kel glanced up across the table, she thought for a second that she saw a flicker of worry cross Dom's face, but when he quickly turned away, Kel knew it must have been a trick of light.

"I would so love to see Queenscove myself," Hattie said with a wistful sigh. "Perhaps if the captain were to escort Kel we might come along?" Lorraine instantly perked up at the idea as well. Kel inwardly groaned. An entire day of having to watch Hattie fawning over Dom as Lorraine moped on the sidelines did not seem worth it, even if it did mean seeing Neal and Yuki or getting her ankle healed.

Cora turned to Arthur and said softly, "I would like to see lady Yukimi again."

Ilane's smile was almost triumphant, Kel thought, but again she thought it must have been a trick. "If it wouldn't be a bother, Domitan?"

Kel risked a sidelong glance at Dom to see him looking thoughtful before he flashed her mother with a heartbreakingly charming smile and bowed his head. "It would be no trouble at all."

The plans were made. Kel, Lorraine, Hattie, Cora, and Arthur were to accompany Dom on his way to Queenscove. Luckily the fief was barely half a day's ride. They would leave early, arrive a little before noon, have lunch, get Kel's ankle checked, and then they would return to Whitley Bay before nightfall. Obviously, Kel wasn't looking forward to the trip, even as she tried to remember she should be excited to see her best friend and his wife. Just remember, she tried to remind herself, in less than a day you'll probably never have to see Dom again.

A thought that should have been comforting was quite the opposite. Kel had realized for many years now that her and Dom would probably never be able to work things out between them, but his visit to Whitley Bay had just seemed to prove her every inkling. Yes, she'd known for a long time that she had ruined any chance she had at recovering her relationship with Dom, but it still didn't mean she hadn't hoped. Now every time Hattie touched Dom's army, every time Dom smiled at her niece and whispered something in her ear, Kel was overwhelmed with hopelessness.

Just another day and she'd be free to do as she'd done for the past five years: live for her shield, her duty, and hope Dom found happiness even if she knew she never would without him.

Kel wasn't even tempted to wear a dress as she woke at her usual time the next morning. The point in her life when she would have done anything to look somewhat pretty for Dom had passed and she told herself she had accepted it. Instead she donned a plain brown tunic, tan breeches, and a pair of simple riding boots. Her Griffin and dagger she tied to their rightful place on her belt. Although her title differed, Kel saw herself as a knight first and a lady second. She was not going to get caught without a weapon by highwaymen just because she wanted an ex lover to see her as the latter.

Her nieces, however, pulled off the lady act flawlessly. As Kel limped her way down the staircase of Whitley manor and looked at the group that had gathered in the hall, she picked out Hattie in a pale pink gown, pretty enough to make any bachelor look but Kel had to wonder if it would hold up after a day of riding.

"Morning, Kel!" Lorraine had been a little more practical then her sister. Her dress was a dark shade of green but was made out of a much heavier material that would stand up to activity.

"Good morning, Lorraine." Kel smiled at her niece before nodding the rest of the group, careful to keep her eyes down as she nodded to Dom.

The group set out after a quick breakfast of bread and cheese with some fruit. Hattie complained of the earliness and dullness of breakfast as they waited for the hostlers to ready their horses, but she was the only one. Everyone else was too tired or cared too little about a small breakfast to complain. Once the hostlers had saddled all of their horses, they mounted, Dom helping Hattie onto her horse before mounting his own mare. The women in the group, with the exception being Kel, all rode sidesaddle. Just another reminder of how unfeminine I am, Kel thought with a sigh as they followed two Whitley men-at-arms out of the gate.

The ride was long and slow. Most of the time, Kel feigned interesting in the scenery of the road between Whitley and Queenscove. She had only been to this part of Tortall once, a year or so after the end of the Scanran war, and the occasional bird or fern really was of as little interest as it had been then. Jump was sitting in his carrier on top of Hoshi, sleeping and snoring loudly. Kel assumed he'd had another late night, he hadn't returned to her room until she'd heard him scratching that morning.

Riding next to Lorraine and behind Dom and Hattie, Kel's head suddenly lurched upwards when she heard Hattie ask, "So Captain, is it true you've been engaged no less than ninety times?"

Dom let out his usual hearty laugh, making Hoshi give him a weary glance as her ears perked back. Kel patted her neck gently, thanking Mithros the hostlers hadn't attempted to saddle Peachblossom, pretending she was more interested in the rocks of the region then she was in the conversation of the two in front of her.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but that is pure palace myth."

Hattie did look truly disappointed. What had she been expecting? Kel wondered as she adjusted her reins.

"You've never even so much as proposed to a lady?" Kel barely noticed the curiosity in Hattie's voice as she felt her heart stop. Kel held her breath, waiting for an answer as interestedly as Hattie.

After a moment's pause, Dom answered so softly Kel barely heard, "Once."

Without missing a beat, Hattie pressed, "What happened?"

"I was a lowly sergeant at the time, Hattie," Dom answered after another second of thought. He planted a grin on his face as he turned to look at her. Kel ducked her head and tried to compose herself as Dom went on. "And the lady of my affection was too far out of reach. I think I must have made a fool of myself."

Kel bit the inside of her lip gently. Is that what he thought? That she had thought he was too low class for her? The idea made her angry and she wanted to slap him upside the head. How could he think she would be snobbish? Did he not realize that she'd only said no for his sake? Swallowing and trying to take a deep breath, Kel wished she could dare tell him how wrong he was, but she knew she would never be able to.

"Oh, poor Domitan!" Hattie sighed, shaking her head in exasperation. "She must have been the fool, sir. I cannot imagine turning down a man simply because of his status."

Hands tightening on the reins, Kel tried to remember lines of the most mundane Yamani poems. She could not have been more thankful when she had to turn in her saddle to answer a question Cora had directed at her.

"Oh, Goddess. Look what the cat dragged in!"

Kel let out a low chuckle at her best friend's usual drawling voice. The group had made it to Queenscove in better time than they had expected. They were now standing in the courtyard of the keep, Kel standing behind her companions as she waited for a hostler to take Hoshi. She could see Neal over Arthur's shoulder as he sauntered down the steps to greet them.

"Darling meathead!" Dom greeted, his grin growing wider as he held open his arms to his cousin. "What? Not pleased to see me?"

Neal dropped the insensitive noble act as he smiled just as widely as Dom and embraced the older man in a hug. "On the contrary, I'm quite pleased. There's still that privy in the east wing you have to repair from your last visit."

"Neal!" Dom stage whispered, his face the image of fake embarrassment. "You wouldn't mention such things in the presence of ladies would you?"

Giving his cousin one last look of contempt, Neal turned to the group behind his cousin and bowed dramatically. "Welcome to Queenscove. Please excuse me for—Kel?"

A hostler had taken Kel's reins from her hand and she was free to step out from behind her nieces to smile broadly at the shocked looking Neal. His mouth was hanging open, the poor man, as he looked from Dom to Kel and then back again several times before Kel growled sarcastically, "Neal, I'd start to worry about flies."

Snapping his jaws together, he stood up straighter and glanced between the two once more before demanding introductions to the strangers who were watching the whole situation with confusion, more than one assuming that the eldest son of Duke Baird must be a bit touched in the head.

With Dom, her nieces, and Arthur safely stowed in a sitting room with Yuki to entertain them, Neal led Kel to an extra bedroom, something that Hattie had voiced was extremely inappropriate. Neal had glared at the girl, but Yuki had merely smiled politely at Kel's niece and informed her it was quite appropriate considering her husband was a healer and that she trusted Kel not take advantage of her husband.

Kel's hands were folded on her stomach as she lounged in a chair that faced the small bed. Her eyes were on the ceiling as Neal sat on the bed, holding her foot in his lap.

"I take it you wouldn't have been at Whitley if you'd known of Dom's visit." It wasn't a question. Kel sighed as she felt the slight stinging in her foot ease to numbness. She had never had to tell Neal about what happened between her and Dom. Either Dom had told him or he had figured it out on his own once his best friend and cousin had stopped being on speaking terms. Neal had of course been one of the few people who'd even known of their relationship and once it ended, Neal had simply stopped mentioning it. Now, however, seemed to be an exception.

Deciding honesty was the best course, Kel replied, "No. I wouldn't have."

Kel felt Neal glance up at her, but she didn't move her eyes away from a spot on the beam-ceiling overhead.

"Well, it wasn't like you could avoid him forever."

That earned Neal a glare from Kel as she finally tore her eyes from where they had been staring for the past five minutes. Neal, however, seemed too involved in his work that he didn't notice and Kel slumped lower into her chair.

"I could have tried."

"And you would have and did fail. All done."

Kel instantly stood to test the wait on her previously bad foot. It felt as good as new and she forced a smile at Neal in thanks before hastily heading for the door. Neal opened his mouth to say something but when Kel turned and raised an eyebrow at him, he shut it and shook his head, deciding not to chance his luck.

The two made their way back down into the sitting room. As they entered, Neal pulled a face at the site of his cousin close in conversation with Kel's niece. Sighing, he turned to Kel and said a little too loudly, "No offense, Kel, but I honestly thought my cousin had better taste." It was all Kel could do to keep back a laugh, but the overly offended look on her niece's face was enough to cause her to burst out into laughter.