Beauty in Paradox
by Lumendea
AN: This is a story from back in 2007 that I recently found and cleaned up. I hope you enjoy it.
…
It was terrible and beautiful; he knew it was there. The Doctor could feel it and felt the pull of the paradox machine, total control over time. He could smell the possibilities and the raw power. Power even over his own timeline, the one thing that a Time Lord could not have in the universe, the power to change his own past, but he didn't want that. He wanted the knowledge of the past; he wanted it to remind him. So as the energy of the human race filled him, the Doctor left the Master's trembling form in the hands of Jack Harkness.
"I'll be back in a minute," was all the Doctor said. Jack gave him a surprised look, not understanding why the Doctor was leaving now of all times. Forcing a smile on his face, the Doctor just looked at his friends in the room, "There's one more thing to take care of before I set this right." He felt the Master's eyes on him as he turned away, and then a low chuckle filled the room.
"I didn't think you were brave enough for that Doctor," the Master said. His voice was warm, almost pleased, and the Doctor tried not to let that affect him.
The Doctor turned back to the Master, his face blank for a moment before his lips curved in the tiniest smile. For a moment, a brief instant, it was like they were scheming students back on Gallifrey and sharing a joke.
"Neither did I."
He walked down the hall, and the personal parted the ways for him, none on the Valiant ready to meet the eyes of the Time Lord who had planned the Master's fall. Then he found it, his TARDIS, his glorious time ship. He felt her cries of pain turn to a soft song as he stepped into her control room, but then her song changed as she sensed his intentions. The Doctor felt her shudder and prepare herself, but she did not argue with him or mentally drawback, so he dared to smile. Running his fingers over the vast tube surrounding the core of his TARDIS, the Doctor allowed himself a moment of guilt and grief.
"I'm sorry, Old Girl. Not much longer. But you know what I want."
Despite the modifications made by the Master, the TARDIS could still fly. Not far, but she could make it to where they needed to go. The flight seemed to stretch for eternity as the TARDIS moved into the vortex, careful not to fracture the paradox they left behind them but aware of the one they sought to create.
The silent and somewhat yellowish halls were suddenly filled with the sounds of the TARDIS; Rose Tyler, in the long white lab coat, turned in confusion as it materialized right behind her. Looking around in alarm, she checked for any Torchwood personal nearby before she pulled out her key to open the door, but then it was thrown open, and a hand-pulled her inside the TARDIS. Rose blinked rapidly at the dark red light that filled the TARDIS and looked at the Doctor in confusion as he stared at her awestruck.
"Doctor? What's going on, I thought-"
Rose was cut off as the Doctor kissed her suddenly, pulling her tight against him. Slowly the daze in Rose's head cleared, and she returned the kiss until she needed oxygen. Staring at him, she took in his features with confusion, he looked so tired and worn out, but none the less he was grinning at her, and she couldn't help but smile back.
"Rose Tyler, you are amazing; you are fantastic." The Doctor took her hands, they were colder than normal, and he held them almost desperately. "Would you give up seeing your family to stay with me?" Rose blinked in confusion. "I can't extend the paradox to them, Rose; I can only save you."
Rose gaped at him. The word paradox rang in her head and made a chill roll down her spine. She remembered her father so clearly. And the TARDIS looked wrong; she'd been damaged. Something had happened, and she didn't understand.
"What's going on, Doctor?" Rose asked him, fighting to keep her voice calm.
The Doctor breathed, trying to rein in his emotions. "I lost you, Rose. I lost you," he said. The words were easier than he'd expected with Rose right in front of him. He gestured to the column behind him. "This is a paradox machine, now if you don't want to stay with me, say so, and you'll be safe with your mum, but if you come with me, you'll never see your mum again."
He was afraid for a moment as a dark fear crept into his hearts. She'd wanted to stay before, but he'd arrived in a terrible state. Surely the madness and grief of the horrible last year on the Valiant showed in his eyes. Rose had to see the strain on him, the lingering weight that he hadn't managed to hold as gracefully as he'd wanted after she was taken from him. But then, miraculously, Rose Tyler smiled at him.
"You're a mad man, my Doctor." She pushed some loose hair behind her ear. "I told you I'd give you my forever, and I meant it. I made that choice a long time, and I'm never gonna leave you."
The Doctor grinned as those words, those familiar words, sank into him. This time, he could make sure that they were true. Now for the important words, the words that had caught in his throat. The words he'd run from.
"Rose Tyler, I love you." The Doctor said softly.
He leaned forward and caught her lips in a kiss before Rose could say anything. She had to be confused, had to be overwhelmed and maybe even worried. Rose knew what paradoxes were and feared them. But she trusted him. She trusted that he had this under control, and he was so grateful.
"I love you too, Doctor," Rose whispered when they parted. She was smiling and was a touch out of breath.
Nodding, the Doctor hugged her tightly before stepping back to the controls. "I'll explain everything later, Rose, but right now, I-we have a world to finish saving."
Rose nodded firmly, and the Doctor watched the timelines shift around the paradox machine. It held the events at Torchwood together despite him stealing Rose. If he hadn't been so enraged at the Master, the Doctor might have been inclined to thank him.
As they landed back on the Valiant, only two minutes after he left, the Doctor sighed and pulled at the wires and tubes of the paradox machine. Sending his apologies into the TARDIS, he could feel her relief as the time shifted around her properly. Looking at Rose, the Doctor pulled her back from the exploding and sparking panels.
"Rose, stay here," the Doctor ordered. "As the paradox breaks down, you need to be as close to the source as possible. You can't leave the TARDIS yet."
It was a poor explanation, but there wasn't time for him to give her any more reassurance. Already the universe was adjusting to Rose Tyler being in it once again. Already, he could breathe easier. Rose studied him for a moment and nodded, stepping forward to kiss his cheek.
"Be careful."
"Thank you," he replied gratefully.
The Doctor returned to the main room with a smile as a fierce wind tore through the Valiant, sending the Jones, Jack and the others to the floor. The paradox was breaking down right on time! He couldn't spare Martha and her family or Jack, but he could spare Earth its torment.
"Everyone, get down and stay down!" The Doctor caught Martha Jones as she started to fall to the ground. "Time is reversing!" Everything shifted and turned back through time as the world moved backwards, erasing a year and a day of hardship and pain for six billion humans. Jumping up, the Doctor racing the controls and checked everything over, "The paradox is broken. Planet Earth restored!"
Time seemed to move twice as fast in the next few minutes as the Master was shot by Lucy Saxon, and he fell back into the Doctor. Then time slowed as the Doctor begged him to regenerate, but instead, the only other Time Lord looked at the Doctor and smiled.
"Did you really do it, Doctor?" the Master asked. His eyes widened, and the Doctor was again torn between grief and gratitude. "Did you really use my creation?"
Slowly the Doctor nodded. "Yes, yes, I did now regenerate!"
The Doctor didn't see the door opening as the Master weakened, and he didn't see Rose Tyler enter the room. He missed the look of shock and awe on Jack's face and the horrified expression on Rose's. However, the Doctor did feel her kneel next to him; he did feel her touch his hand and wrap her arms around him.
"It's okay, Doctor," Rose whispered. "I'm not going to leave you ever."
He heard the words he needed to hear as the Master's eyes closed, and he wasn't sure if he should smile or weep. Instead, he held the Master's body as Rose held him. The Doctor was aware of the Jones family nearby and Jack trying to calm down the people below. He didn't bother with it. Grief and relief pulled at him equally in different directions, and the utter exhaustion of the day weighed him down.
It was later, after Rose met Martha and spoke with Jack, that the Doctor took Rose back to the TARDIS. His ship would need a lot of work to repair the damage the Master had inflicted on her, but her soft song had returned to normal. Jack had pulled him aside, thrilled to see Rose but equally worried about the lingering paradox. Scans of Rose had reassured Jack that the timelines were holding, but the Doctor could see the lingering worry even as he wished them luck.
It wouldn't be easy. The Doctor could admit that to himself. Sooner or later, the grief over her mother would catch up with Rose. Sooner or later, she'd understand the scale of how losing her had affected him. And sooner or later, he would have to contend with her human lifespan. But not right now. Right now, he was grateful. He'd deal with the rest as he had to.
Martha, brave Martha, said her goodbyes, and the Doctor couldn't blame her. She had borne a terrible burden, perhaps the worst any companion of his had even been confronted with. It was for the best; he'd been horrible to her and could admit that to himself. At least, she left with her head held high and with a pleasant congratulations to Rose.
And after two days of fixing the TARDIS, the Doctor took Rose Tyler's hand and smiled at her, receiving a smile and a loving kiss in return. Then Doctor knew that even in the destruction of the Master, there could be good, and there could be beauty in a paradox.
"So, Rose Tyler, where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time, it's your choice."