My Happy Ending

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI:NY, or any of it's characters. If I did, certain events never would have transpired, but, since I don't own jack, certain events did.

A/N: This is how my muse has chosen to deal with 'Right Next Door'. I have a vague idea where this is going, but your reviews, impressions, comments and suggestions are always welcome and helpful! I only ask one thing when you review; and that is to be respectful. I am trying to handle the whole thing with Danny and Rikki in a tasteful, respectful manner, and I ask that you be respectful to the situation, Danny, Rikki, Lindsay and the Danny/Lindsay ship in your reviews.

'

You were everything,everything
That I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it
And all of the memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh, ohhhh

-Avril Lavigne "My Happy Ending"

Pulling open the door, Lindsay looked at the man on the other side. She didn't particularly want to talk to Danny right now, but, he'd been so insistent on it that she'd finally caved and told him to come over to her place after shift. If she was totally honest with herself, she knew deep down that she wasn't going to like what he had to say, so it seemed logical to have him come over to her place. That way, she could just tell him to leave instead of wasting precious time trying to get back to her place if she felt the need to be alone or fall apart.

"Hi," she stepped aside letting him enter.

Managing to make brief eye contact, Danny quickly averted his gaze and entered. He hated what he was about to do to her, but he firmly believed that if they were to ever have a fighting chance he had to be honest with her. He just hoped she felt the same way and would forgive him his for his one transgression.

One transgression? Really? Come on Messer, how the fuck are you going to make up for this if she doesn't know the score?

Briefly, Danny wondered if he was doing the right thing by telling her this. After all, the affair had only turned physical twice. He didn't have to tell her about the emotional part of it, did he? Oh, who was he kidding? Of course he had to tell her about that too; and that is what hurt Danny the most. As much as he dreaded telling his Montana that he'd taken another woman to his bed, had offered her breakfast, and taken her to bed again, he really dreaded telling her that somewhere along the way,he'd stopped investing his emotional energy into his relationship with her, and started to invest it into Rikki.

"What's up?"

"Um, Linds, we really need to talk. About you. About me. About us."

It was bad, she could tell. Instead of voicing this however, she steeled herself for whatever he had to say and kept silent, a cue for him to continue.

"I slept with Rikki," he hadn't meant to blurt it out like that. He wanted to be gentle and tactful about it; but he was certain there was no tactful way to tell the woman you cared so deeply for, that you cheated on her. Sure, they'd never sat down and explicitly said they were in an exclusive relationship, but he knew Lindsay wasn't the type of woman who engaged in casual sex.

A punch in the gut. That was what those words felt like to her. Danny just admitted to cheating on her. How was she supposed to respond to that?

"You w..w...what," she stuttered out, the cold reality of his words reaching into her chest like an icy fist and squeezing until she could hardly breath.

"I slept with Ruben's mother. It didn't mean anything, I swear. I was just hurting and she's the only one that understands. She came over and one thing led to another and..."

Lindsay cut him off not really wanting to hear all the ugly details, "when?"

"Baby that's not important."

"Like hell it's not important Danny! When? How long have you been doing this behind my back? When did the lies start?"

"Montana, baby, I never lied to you, I swear," he pleaded his case, watching the emotions: hurt, sadness, anger, betrayal and worst of all, blame, flit across her features like a video tape put on fast forward.

"Don't you dare Danny! Don't call me Montana!"

"Lindsay come on, you have to believe me!"

"Believe you? Why should I believe you Danny?"

"I'm telling you the truth. I never meant for this to happen. I would never do anything to hurt you. Do you understand that?" He knew that didn't really matter now. He had hurt her and she had every right to call him a liar and a cheat, he just hoped she wouldn't.

With her arms clutched around her middle, as if holding herself together, Lindsay began to pace the length of the room. "So, you would never do anything to hurt me. You pushed me away, closed yourself off emotionally, slept with another woman and lied to me; but you would never do anything to hurt me? Well guess what? You did hurt me," the tears she'd been trying so desperately to hold back, began to spill from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to the floor, not able to watch her pained face any longer.

"Sorry? You're sorry? Well, that just makes it all better, now doesn't it," she laughed bitterly, her shock over being betrayed, giving way to sadness and anger all at the same time.

"I know this doesn't make anything better. I just hope that...that maybe we can start over."

"You want to start over? You come over here, tell me this, and you want to start over," she knew he was well aware of what he had said to her, but repeating it seemed to be the only way she could deal right now.

Danny took off his glasses and swiped at his stinging eyes before standing directly in the path of her pacing, forcing her to either face him or turn her back on him. She faced him, the tears of pain and anger leaving red streaks on the creamy skin of her cheeks.

"Be honest with me Danny. How long has this been going on?"

"We slept together two days ago."

Realization dawned on her then, "so, I guess you never made it to the dry cleaners, bank or shop? You blew off lunch with me to bang the grieving mother." Her last sentence not a question, but a statement of the facts as she saw them.

"That's not why I blew off lunch with you. I wanted to see you that day, but I couldn't. I just...couldn't."

"You couldn't because you were having sex with her."

"No! Well...yeah. I was ashamed of what I'd done the night before," he conceded, shame lacing his voice as the true gravity of his infidelity pricked his consciousness.

"Was that the only time?"

"That was the only time, I swear Linds. I'd never touched her before then."

"So, let me see if I have this right," she pinched the bridge of her nose in an effort to keep the looming headache at bay just a little longer, " you had never touched her before a couple days ago. Until then, she was just the mother who lost her child to you and nothing more?"

"Yes. She's still not anything more to me. It was just sex, nothing more than that. You're the only woman I want to be with Lindsay Monroe."

"How nice to know that you can so casually have 'just sex' with someone," she said with a glare at him, knowing her headache was bound to turn into a migraine soon.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Do I, Danny? Going from just being the grieving mother to the other woman is kind of a big leap there, don't you think?"

"That's not what happened! We did have some sort of emotional connection through this! She'd just lost her only child Lindsay! She needed someone to talk to; someone that cared about what she's going through and how she's feeling. That person was me. I was the last one to see Ruben alive! She trusted me with him, and I let her down. I had to be there for her! She needed me."

"What about me? You were there for me when I had to testify at my friends' murder trial. What changed? Oh, I get it. I needed you then. I was weak and needed someone who was there for me and me alone. Now that I'm stronger, you're free to move on to someone else who needs you now." Sure, she knew it was unfair when she said it, but that's how she felt. Rikki needed someone and Danny was there, just like he'd been there when she needed someone.

"Now wait just a damn minute! That's not fair and you know it! Nothing has changed about the way I feel for you. I wanted to be there for you then, and I still want to be here for you now! Christ, I love you Lindsay. Can't you see that? The only thing that's changed is that I love you. I just...I just...I only realized it after you told me how you felt. I've never been in love before and it scares he hell out of me," he finished, his brief anger fading as he watched the woman in front of him visibly deflate.

"I haven't either."

"Excuse me? What was that?"

"I've never been in love either. I don't trust people easily Danny. If I don't let people in, don't let them really get to know me, don't get attached, then I can't get hurt. I let you in. You saw me at me weakest. You know the worst part of me. I let myself get attached to you. I fell for you Danny, and you hurt me! You really, really hurt me," she quietly confessed, the stress and emotional turmoil of the past few weeks taking their toll on her.

"I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Please, just give me the chance to prove that to you."

"I can't. I just can't."

"I know it will take work, but please, I need you," he knew he was begging and he really didn't care. He needed her in his life. He loved her. She represented everything that was good, beautiful, kind, forgiving and, strong in the world. He was just sorry he hadn't realized this before. He'd taken her for granted, and now he desperately wished for the chance to make it up to her.

"Leave."

"Linds. Montana, please."

"Please Danny. I just...I need to be alone."

His heart began to crumble. He had done this to her, had done this to them, and now he was reaping what he sewed. "Baby don't do this," his voice choked with tears as she closed the door on him and them.

"Danny, if you ever felt anything for me, you'll do what I ask. Please. Just...go," Her words were soft, and she refused to look him in the eye, refused to let him see the pain she was in.

Accepting that this was his castigation for breaking her trust, Danny leaned in and softly kissed her cheek. "Goodbye Lindsay. I love you. Remember that," and with those final words Danny turned towards the door and walked out of her apartment, and possibly her life.

Once the door clicked shut, the gut wrenching sob she'd been holding on to for the past hour ripped loose from her chest. He'd cheated on her and she'd sent him out of her life for it. She didn't know how she would pick up the pieces and move on, or even if she could. How was she supposed to work with him, knowing this mountain of hurt feelings and deep emotions would always be there? How could she scale that mountain now? Maybe it would have been better if he'd never told her.

Letting that thought digest itself, she ran to the bathroom where she lost the contents of her stomach.