Thank you all for the lovely comments. I really appreciate it.

And if tonight my soul may find her peace
in sleep, and sink in good oblivion,
and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower
then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.

- David Herbert Lawrence -

---------------------------------------------

Thirteen years had passed since I last saw his face. Nothing had spoiled his perfection over those years; even more than a stature, with which I always used to compare him, he was immune to the changes of time.

For a short second time seemed to stop for me.

Night was falling. Finally.

Jacob was my personal sun and he had lightened up my life over all these years, bringing eternal daylight to my life, never fading, keeping me awake. It had been blinding me like the core of a flame and just now that twilight was over and the night came over me did I realize how tired I was.

Not unhappy, but exhausted of living every second of my life, never sleeping because there had been no night to sleep through for me.

Edward was my night, my moon, my rest and my shelter. And he was back.

The flame inside me, the burning heat, was cooling, goose bumps covering my skin and I could feel the hairs on my neck standing straight.

Sleep came over me, resting me in the pleasure of my eyes, the coolness inside me suddenly turning my blood into ice, freezing me, holding me in my place.

My eyes were fixed on my faith, my god, my future I had lost. Why? Where? How?

He was the same. Not a single minute seemed to have passed since he abandoned me.

His marble skin – just as smooth and solid as it always was, the bronze hair a perfect mess, his lips curled into a light smile while his golden eyes were fixed on me.

Stinging pain started to move up my throat, reminding me to breathe again. I inhaled sharply, grateful for the cool air dripping down my throat, easing the pain.

"Bella?"

His voice.

A symphony to my ears, filling my brain with it´s beauty. Melting honey. How did I live through my life without hearing it?

Even the most savage profanities would sound like a prayer if they were spoken so clearly, like a melody, like a lullaby hummed to child. I doubt that anybody could ever fully understand the word's meanings for they would be too distracted by it´s angelic tone.

"Bella!"

My eyes tried to focus but instead made the room around me look blurry – an insane mixture of colours and light. I closed them in order not to faint. Missing any second of this, this miracle, would be a sin.

Clenching my fists, I tried to hold on to something.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

And then I felt it. And it ripped the floor from underneath my feet, turning my entire world upside down, ripping my heart through my chest. I wanted to scream, show the world my agony – but I couldn't.

It was over now.

My heart had been ripped apart before, stabbed and torn into little pieces, patched together by loving hands, carefully repaired. Now it was gone. He had taken it once and for all.

He had touched me. Ice-cold fingers wrapped around my fists, losing my grip, stroking my skin.

"Bella, please. Open your eyes."

No.

I couldn't. I was dead. Just like him.

My head swung from one side to the other like a lunatic's would.

"Say something. Bella…"

Why didn't he understand? How could I talk to him? I was dead, so was he, but he was immortal.

I wasn't.

The ability to speak had left me together with my heart.

But then I felt it beating. Somewhere. I couldn't feel the steady rhythm inside my chest where it was supposed to be, but somehow I knew that my heart was not dead. It was somewhere out of my reach, but not lost. Still going.

"Bella…"

A shiver ran through me when I felt Edwards cold breath moving the hair around my ears and before I knew it, his strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his stone chest.

And there it was.

My heartbeat. Inside of him.

He was alive for me now.

Slowly the life beating inside my heart left his body, moving underneath my skin, filling me with tension and senses.

"Bella…please."

Yet not being touched by life, my voice was not strong enough. But a low, nearly inaudible whimper left my throat, sounding like the one a puppy makes after being abandoned by his mother.

Edwards hands slowly stroked up my arm, leaving a burning trail of ice on my already numb limb.

"What is it, Bella?"

He placed a soft kiss on my ear, his lips barely touching my skin and I shivered.

Only with an enormous effort was I able to speak after that. My breath was unsteady, fast and I constantly felt the urge to cough.

"Where?"

I had never heard my voice like this. And I could barely hear it now – it was so quiet, so weak.

"What?"

Edward sounded confused and he stepped back a little, I could feel it, and I could feel his gaze on me. Yet I wasn't strong enough to open my eyes.

"Where have you been?"

"Bella, I don´t understand you. What do you mean?"

Tears gathered behind my eyelids and it now took me even more effort to keep them closed than to open them.

"Where were you? All this time…"

"Bella…"

His fingers now brushed over my closed eyes, careful not to hurt me.

"Look at me Bella. Please."

And so I did. Slowly I opened my eyes. They were heavy as stone and tears immediately came streaming down my cheeks.

"Why are you crying?"

The agony in Edwards voice was undeniable and for the first time in all these years, I looked directly into his perfect eyes. He wiped away the tears with his fingers, gently stroking over my skin.

"Why? Where were you?"

The pain in his expression faded and confusion took its place.

"Bella, I really don´t know what you mean. I was downstairs for three minutes. I would have been back here in a second, but your Dad is down there. You don´t expect me to run in front of him, do you? There are no cookies anymore, though. I´m sorry."

A million thoughts were running through my mind and my temples felt like they were set on fire. What was he talking about?

"What? No, you were – you were gone."

More firmly now, he placed his hands on each side of my face, looking deeply into my eyes.

"Bella, what is going on with you?"

"Where is Jacob?"

Edwards forehead crinkled slightly and the break in his perfection was almost unbearable to witness.

"Are you talking about Jacob Black? That boy who called you ´pretty´ at prom?"

"Where is he?"

My voice started to get louder, still it was weak and I felt like I had never spoken before.

"Bella – why should I know where he is? You can go and call if you want to know. But, why? When was the last time you spoke with him anyways?"

"This morning. Just this morning.."

At this point my voice faded into silence with each word. What was happening here?

"Bella, did you dream something strange? You were with me this entire morning. How could you have spoken with him?"

This was going too far. Whatever it was, it needed to stop. Slowly I lifted my own arms and placed my hands over Edwards wrists, showing him to let go of me.

He obeyed.

With weak knees I stepped back a few feet, trying to escape him. Whatever he was.

"Bella? What is it with you?"

"You – you…. You were gone. You left. Why are you back?"

For a short second my eyes left his frame and I was now looking at the part of the room to his right. And it struck me like lighting.

There was my old rocking chair. How did it get there? Charlie had accidentally broken it a couple of years ago while trying to move it down into the living room.

Now my attention was up and I let my eyes wander through the room. My entire body started to tremble when I realized that everything looked just the same as it had when I had been living here.

There was my old furniture. The ancient yellow curtains. My computer. An untidy lot of random items thrown on my desk, my bed, unmade. And then my eyes caught the mirror.

It only took a second for my knees to give in and before I hit the ground, Edwards cold arms caught me, holding my shivering body close to his own.

They were gone. All changes and marks which time had left on myself over the years. Gone. I had been looking at myself, but not seeing the woman I was now – instead it had been my youth, staring back at me with widened eyes from the mirror.

"Bella, let me help you. What is happening here?"

"I think – I – you should tell me – tell me that."

I was sobbing, drenching his shirt with my tears, clinging to his shoulders as though my life depended on it. Letting go was impossible.

Edward was holding me, keeping me as close as possible. His hands moved through my hair and he was rocking my body, soothing me.

"I think you should tell me what is going on with you. Why do you keep saying that I left?"

Minutes passed and I was calming down. My breath began to steady and the shivers which run through my body were getting weaker. Finally I found the strength to use my voice again. It was cracky and almost inaudible, though I knew for sure that Edward understood me just as well as if I had been shouting at him.

"What date do we have?"

"August third."

Edward seemed confused by my question and his answer sounded like a recorded message.

"How old am I?"

"Bella –"

"Just answer me."

"You're seventeen, Bella. But why are you asking me that?"

"I am seventeen?"

"Yes."

"No… I am…. No…."

"Can't you just tell me what is bothering and hurting you like this, love? I can't stand seeing you like this."

Maybe he was right. I considered that for a moment. I had never really spoken about anything that had happened when our time together had ended. But on the other hand, this was him. If anybody, he should be the one to know.

"You – you said you didn't want – want me anymore. That you were leaving. Without me. That – that I was not good for – for you. I was alone. You took – took me with you. My – my heart."

"Did you have a nightmare, Bella?"

I shook my head and then lifted it slightly, so I could see his face which was in pain and doubt right now.

"You did all that. All those years ago. I don´t know why you are here right now. I should be older. I – I should be with Jacob right now. Not you…."

"Don´t cry again."

Edwards voice sounded a little broken, as though he was crying while his fingers caught the tears which were once again escaping my eyes.

"So, you say that this is a kind of hallucination of yours?"

He continued to brush his fingers over my skin although my tear had stopped and I lost myself in his golden eyes.

"I don´t know – what this is. All I know is – is that ten minutes ago I was older, and married and a Mum… it was so long since I last saw you – since you left. And now – you are here."

There was silence. Neither of us could say something to explain this. He believed me, believed that something was wrong, that I was not just dizzied my a nightmare. He saw that my pain was real. I could see that in his eyes.

"Tell me what happened, Bella."

The sudden sound of his voice made me shiver and his cold finger stroking over my neck didn't really help.

"Do you really want to know?"

He just nodded and I rested my head against his stone chest, ignoring the cold and preparing for something I had so desperately tried to avoid over the last years. Telling someone what had happened that night.

"It started at my – my eighteenth birthday. I cut myself and – and Jasper… he attacked me. I don´t know… maybe you were blaming yourself for that, but, however, you changed after that. You were so… denying and distant toward me. And then….. "

My fingers were clinging to Edwards shoulders, seeking for hold.

"Then you – you told me that you and the others were leaving…. And you – you denied me my wish to follow you… told me… you didn't want me anymore… you made me promise not – not to do – do anything reckless or stupid… and you promised that… that it would be as if you – you never existed."

I felt strangely relived to finally have told somebody what had happened that day my life changed so drastically.

"You never really kept that promise…"

Edwards hands stroke across my back and I felt like I was home, safe and whole again. This was it. What I always wanted.

"Do you believe me?"

Again I lifted my head to look into his face as if he would show any signs of a lie.

"Bella, I believe you. But this sounds so…. unreal to me. I don´t know why I should say that. Are you sure I really said all that? Was there any reason for me to lie?"

"You think you lied to me?"

Never had I considered that possibility. Then again, why not? But what reason should he have had?

"Maybe… this sounds so.. strange, Bella."

"So you don´t believe me?"

"Bella, I do believe you. But, maybe you imagine things."

"How could I imagine a year of pain and emptiness, that hole ripped in my chest, that feeling to just want to leave this life behind me. How am I supposed to imagine that?"

Anger boiled inside of me and I tried to escape Edwards embrace.

"Bella, please. I didn't mean to hurt you. I am sorry. Forgive me."

I calmed down immediately. There was simply no strength in me to fight against him.

"Maybe I can prove it."

"Bella, you don´t have to –"

"Let me. Edward, you said it´s August thirteenth?"

"Yes."

"So it´s my eighteenth birthday in a month?"

"Suppose so, yeah. Why?"

"Did you already plan what you want to give to me?"

"Well, yes. But I don´t want to tell you that."

"You don´t have to. I already know. Well, if I am right."

"So what do you think?"

"A CD? With my lullaby… and your music."

Astonishment showed itself on his face.

"Esme and Carlisle will get me tickets to Florida, right? And the others will get me a stereo for my truck."

Edward just nodded, a mixture between pain and wonder in his eyes. I started crying again and this time, he didn't try to stop me.

We sat there for something that felt like a lifetime, just staring into each others eyes, trying to capture every second we were granted to be together.

"Does this mean that this is some kind of a dream?"

The agony in Edwards voice caused another wave of tears to stream down my face.

"I don´t know. Maybe what I that was my life over the last thirteen years was wrong. Who knows? Maybe it really was a dream, and maybe this is one. I don´t want to know. I just want you. Here. With me. Right now."

I buried my face in Edwards chest again and his fingers drew small circles on my back.

"Do you want to tell me about it? What happened after me?"

"I don´t think that would be good. That was my life without you. And now you're here."

"Yeah… I am."

I whimpered when he placed a soft kiss on the top of my head and pulled me closer to his body. My arms wrapped around his stomach and I pressed myself against him.

"I love you, Bella. No matter what I told you."

"And I love you…"

Edward started to kiss my neck and every piece of skin in my face which he could reach. His soft but solid lips barely brushed over my skin and everything felt to perfect and marvellous. My own hands stroke across his back, feeling the stone which was his body.

"I found your letter."

"What?"

And then something unexpected happened. I laughed. Not loud or extraordinarily cheerful. But it was a laughter. It vanished quickly though and I raised my head once again. Edwards face was just inches apart from mine and I felt his cold breath on my tear-drenched face.

"You… when you told me it would be as if you never existed… When I was back home, everything was gone. The CD, the tickets and some pictures which I had taken of you. That was the only thing I ever blamed you for. Taking those things away from me. But you never really did. I found them. Hidden under a floorboard. And there was a letter along with them."

"What did I write you?"

He moved closer toward me and my mind was spinning around.

"Doesn't matter."

In the next second I felt his marble lips on my own, soft and gentle, moving slowly, careful not to hurt me.

My hands found their way to Edwards neck and I started to move them through his hair, while his own hands smoothly caressed my arms, then moved slowly over my back, his fingers drawing circles on their way to my neck.

A sigh escaped me when we parted a smile was set on Edwards face.

"Will you stay with me?"

My voice sounded stronger than it had before, but the pain I felt when I asked this question was just as hard as it had been the moment he had left me.

"Bella…"

Edwards finger brushed over my lower lip and as he reached the corner of my mouth he pulled it up, forcing my lips to form a smile.

"Edward"

He dropped his finger to my neck and pulled me closer to him again. For a second he pressed his lips against mine, more passionate than before. But he almost immediately parted from me again and pulled me against his chest.

"Close your eyes, Bella. Just be alive. For me. This once. I can't explain what this is and maybe it will end soon. But whatever I made you promise that day, I still want you to keep it. Even if I leave now, for whatever reasons and under which circumstances. I will always be with you. Always by your side. I love you too much."

"I know. But, tell me one last thing. Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?"

Edward chuckled.

"If what you said is right, than of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

Those last two lines are quotes from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, only slightly changed.

I tried so hard to make this chapter, at least somehow, romantic but I don´t really know if I succeeded. Let me know ;-)

This is technically the last chapter, but there will be a short epilogue after this, explaining the situation.