Disclaimer: I own them not. Oh…. How sad… because if I had I would have made the finale have so much more closer… CLOSER… I wanted it… sigh… wait I was saying something… right not mine…

Author's Note: Hahaha…. I didn't ignore my duties…. No…. READ… cough

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Donna stumbled into the hallway of the West Wing. She hadn't missed the place. She had found a life that didn't belong to it. Sure, she hadn't ever really gone house hunting, and she had been making call-backs for Toby and had been doing as much work as she could secretly do without Josh finding out, which by coincidence was quite a bit, but really her perspective had changed.

She wasn't going to be Miss Donnatelle Moss who worked as Josh Lyman's Assitant but she was going to be Donna… possibly Mrs. Donna… something or other… She was going to be a mom, and the lord would save her if she trapped herself in the position of low-level staffing. Returning to those walls gave a sense of tranquility, bringing her back to her centre. She knew finally that she could return and be part of it once again.

She wanted to start working part time. Not with Josh so much as taking Toby up on an offer she didn't think she could turn down. She'd still be able to to stay close to Josh, and she barely knew how much body-checking he would do to keep her safe. But today she wasn't coming in to work.

There was a reception in the Residence, and for whatever reason she could manage to think of she was going. She just had to be there. She had to reconcile herself with that world, before she could return. She had to talk with everyone she had been avoiding, and she had to face things she had been avoiding. She just didn't like to think it was such a big problem.

She wandered to Josh's office. He wasn't there. She didn't want to go and find people; she just wanted to stay there, in safety.

Okay, Donna you can't stay here; don't be foolish, she thought, trying to search her mind for a place to belong. I guess I'm hungry… I'll go to the Mess and wait for him.

Donna had been hungry for a long time. She had discovered new and obscured tastes, which she usually revisited later in her day. Still she had gotten better at holding things down, she couldn't stand to eat cheese and for some reason grapes were totally out of the picture.

It's just the mess, she told herself. What the hell is wrong with you Donnatella! She yelled at herself silently. She looked at her hands they were shaking and she felt her knees for weak. You are a strong woman. You can go eat lunch. You can do that by yourself.

She turned around from Josh's office and began her walk down the halls towards the mess. "Hey Sidney," she said to the young woman who was sitting at her old desk.

"Hi Donna," she said with respect and affection. "I didn't know you were coming in today."

Donna nodded. "If you see Josh can you tell him I went down to the Mess."

"Sure thing," she responded and turned back to her work.

Donna avoided the people who might try and talk to her. She just walked determined, trying her best to get to the mess. Lunch. Lunch. It's just Lunch. She repeated it over and over in her mind, almost singing it.

She was 18 weeks pregnant with triplets, and she had a belly to go with it. No one in the West Wing would mistake her for anyone else. She looked romantically fair and she was silently untouchable.

She paced herself down the halls and down the stairs. She was fine. No need to think that Sam had been a total jerk to her, barely even acknowledging she existed. No need to remind herself that she hadn't talked to C.J. in a couple of months. There was no point in reliving all the negative things.

She stepped into the Mess. Her heart pounded and she was ready to turn and run. She felt like all eyes were looking at her, though she knew pretty well no one was paying any attention to her. She felt like she was an outcast, if she had to sit down she'd be alone. Not that she wanted to sit with anyone. But somewhere deep inside she knew that she couldn't really face this the way she wanted to.

Oh dear God, she told herself. She tried to avert her eyes, use her body language in any way shape or form to stop the encounter from occurring but it was too late. Please don't Sam… I can't even think of…

"Hi Donna," he said with a cheerful smile.

"Hi Sam," she said quietly. She took a tray and began to place whatever food she could find onto it. She did it with aggression, almost with violence.

There was a brief and awkward silence, extending just a little too long.

"How have you been?" he asked.

She took a sharp breath but contained herself. "Fine, thank you."

Sam followed her to her seat and waited in the silence. "So…" he tried to begin. "Are you coming in to work?"

She shook her head. "The Residence."

"Ahh…" Sam said and fell silent. He opened his mouth to start again.

"You know what Sam," Donna began after she swallowed some pudding. Waving her spoon at him she continued. "We don't need to do this."

"Really?" Sam said with wonder. "Because I kinda thought that maybe I could…"

"I don't think you even have the right," She said interrupting him before he could finish. He had said some hurtful things the last time they had spoken. It had been a brief conversation, but he had come close enough to calling her a whore that she just hung up. She didn't answer his calls after that. And when he tried to come see her at the apartment she went to the bedroom and told Josh to 'get rid of him'. In the state she was in Josh thought maybe it was more of a death threat than a kindly suggestion to scram. "We were friends Sam. But you ruined that. I don't know where you think you get the right."

Sam looked almost cross eyed. Donna took another spoonful of her pudding acting as though nothing had occurred out of the ordinary.

"Donna I never…" he tried to begin. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean what I said that day."

She shook her head and waved a hand. "That doesn't matter anymore," she said taking another spoonful making him wait. She swallowed and continued. "You think I don't know. You were trying to convince him to leave me. You wanted to get me out of the way. I thought I knew you better than that Sam, but really I was shocked." She stood up and glared down at him. "You were doing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons."

Sam looked at her gapping. She adjusted her skirt and sat back down slowly.

"I don't know how you think you have the right Sam," she started again. She stared at her pudding, as though realizing what she had just said. She wasn't sure if she was completely terrified or proud.

"Donna," Sam sat softly reaching for her hand.

She pulled away slowly. "Sam," she sighed. Quietly she continued. "I know what was happening… and I know why… I just don't see how you can do that and expect…" She didn't think she had it in her to cry or even try. "I just don't think I can trust you the same way Sam."

A silence fell between them. Sam, not really sure what had happened; Donna, trying to figure out if she really had meant it all; and a large bowl of pudding, lumped waiting and holding the silence within.

"Hey guys," Josh's wary voice suddenly interrupted the scene.

Donna looked up at him slowly. "Hey," she mumbled standing up to kiss his cheek. She waited for him to smile before she carried on. "I wanted to see Toby before we…"

"Sure…" Josh told her.

She left quickly.

"What happened?" Josh asked Sam.

Sam stood up, still bewildered. "If I haven't said it before Josh, I'm sorry." He grabbed his papers and started to walk.

"What happened?" Josh asked again as he followed.

"I just don't think…" Sam stopped himself. He laughed and tried to say what he really felt as simply as possible. "She's an amazing woman Josh. Don't ever let her go."

"Wow," Josh said still walking.

Sam looked over at him not sure what he meant.

"Well really," Josh explained. "Those words sounded so final."

Sam shrugged. "So?"

"Well we've got to walk back to your office…"

"And?"

Josh smiled and shrugged. "I thought maybe the silence would seem…"

"Peaceful?" Sam interjected.

"Awkward."

Sam gave a soft laugh. "Really Josh," Sam tried to tell him. "Were you trying to add filler?"

Josh smiled. "That's not my job. You're the writer."

Sam walked into his bullpen while Josh marched down the hall to his own. Sam hadn't explained what had happened, but he had a vague idea. Maybe it was better if she did it alone, faced them alone. He didn't want that though, he wanted to keep her safe.

"Hey," he said when he saw her laying on the floor behind his desk. "What are you doing?"

She looked up at him, not crying but near it. She laughed. "You need a couch."

He sat down on the floor next to her. She lifted her head and put it on his leg.

"You sure you want to do this?"

She sighed. "It's time we tell them." He stroked her hair, trying to calm her down. He could sense something; he knew she wasn't feeling quite right. "I'm sure. We have to do this." Still no matter how much he tried to shelter and take care of her, he knew somehow she would always be okay.